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God Save My Marriage

freej

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About freej

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  1. Hey, remember me! I sat right behind you at the intensive...freej. I thought of all the couples at that intensive you two had the most foundation and potential to be successful. I still do. Remember when we watched the movie, "Fireproof" and the lead character's friend said, "you can't go half way dude, your wife knows when you are faking it, women just know." Well there you go. You can't talk about what you are gonna do. You have to do from you HEART. I could tell at the intensive that TAZ was 'trying' to DO. It's not the same thing. After I filed for divorce is when he complet
  2. WOW! What a weekend! Where's TAZ and what did you do with him?? I felt so loved, honored and respected ALL weekend. I hope this isn't temporary. I can't help it...I'm beginning to have feelings for TAZ again! I really didn't think since I think I'm a relatively smart gal that I could see through and be unable to accept the new TAZ's affections and attention, so I was prepared to take forever to start having feelings for him again. NOT TRUE! I'm actually spending more time during the day thinking about TAZ than G. It's a wonderful unexpected suprize to find myself responding! This is wo
  3. I realize there's a man on here who goes by the tag sign, "Just Me" please note that the "Just Me" in the poem above is a nickname G uses to describe himself and in NO WAY is referring to the "Just Me" on these boards. Whew...covering bases here. Have a blessed and God ordained weekend everyone! Love, Freeed J
  4. Thanks Looney Tunes, I understand what you are saying. TAZ found a different class today on Monday nights but when he offered it to me he said, "I'd be willing to give up my life group on Monday nights for this because it's what you want..." Shouldn't he rather be saying, "Yes, I found a different teacher and I'd love to sign us up and do this with you." and then cancel the life group, but instead I'm left feeling like he's shifting his all important schedule around for me again and he's doing me a "BIG FAVOR", to try to make himself look good. This is why I don't share with him. I don't
  5. Oh ya, I forgot to add. When TAZ was checking into the ballroom dance lessons I felt sad and frustrated at his instant (no we can't do this because my schedule is in the way again). I know he explained that the new schedule will be out in October, but that was it. There was no, let's find something else to do once a week together that is fun. It doesn't have to be expensive, we could go for a hike or biking or play a board game, but once again seems he's too busy for me. I know part of the problem is that I need to find a job too so I'm giving him some latitude there, but I thought som
  6. Wen, Thanks I already see the changes in him. I was convinced of that before I got in the car to drive 16 hours to be back home. Writing or in this case typing out what I won't accept is therapy for me. I see myself typing it so it confirms in my spirit what I will not tolerate from any man in my life. I know you've seen changes over the past 9 months in TAZ, I have too, but I also spent the last 13 years with the old version and that is hard work around in my head sometimes. I'm also having to let go of a dream that I had of a better life with G. I had more freedom of movements
  7. Sorry Eeyore but I went back and re read what I wrote and that was if TAZ gets "abusive" again all bets are off. What I meant was if he hits me or does anything physical to me like that again all bets are off. Sorry but I will no longer tolerate a man putting bruises on me right after telling me he loves me. I know he will mess up and the Lord already knows how much I've messed up here. That's not what I meant. TAZ is a really great guy and I will seek help from all of you if he begins slipping up in his new behavior adjustments, but I will do it all on my own if he gets "physical" about
  8. O.k. here goes. I finally went to a professional Psychiatrist (told he's the best in the area we live in). Got my official diagnosis today. Post traumatic stress disorder. This explains the "bolting" sensations I get when dealing with difficult men. What a relief to know it's not just me being an emotionally void, undependable, uncommitted, lazy girl who really enjoyed putting G and TAZ through the wringer these last 9 months. I'm on meds and scheduled with a counselor to start sessions this week to find out how I can STAY PUT! I hope this works, but we determined part of the PTSD wa
  9. Thanks for all your well wishes and yes, Looney, I'm in the mood for some ice cream!! Maybe you can bring Eeyore along too! I'm still struggling and trying to give myself a little break. It's only been 4 days but I just seem to want to kick myself for my feelings of what could have been in some stupid high school dream. I never realized until I got home how close I came to losing everything. If any of the guys are reading this post please understand that while you may think the little things don't matter to your "God's precious princess"...THEY DO!!! Don't give up..especially if you
  10. Thank you. It's been a very tough 2 days since I came home. I am officially in mourning and detoxing from G. I did have dreams and plans for he and I but he is NOT in God's alignment and I can NOT risk my soul any longer. I will forever keep him in my prayers as I have done since high school, but it will be that he find God again and some healing will take place before he kills himself or dies some other way. I forgive him, but I won't forget what he taught me. I AM one of God's precious princesses. I AM worthy to be loved by the man who vowed under God to love, honor and cherish me and
  11. O.K. It was a loooonnggg time comin' but here goes. I want to apologize for the way I treated many of you on past postings. You have all been supportive and now I'd like to ask your forgiveness and request some prayer for me and TAZ. After moving to Alabama the bipolar part of G came out in full force. I began to feel unwanted and un-needed except for sex by G. My birthday greeted me with wishes of love and kindness from family that I hadn't experienced since I left TAZ in December. Even he sent me a card....G...well he worked on his computer, took me to a cafateria buffett where he aske
  12. Seems I mistakenly took you for someone who may understand what I'm going through. 2 times I left Gordon to go back to TAZ and both times the phoniness made me physically ill to the point of having to go to the emergency room. I just can't do it anymore. You sit there and talk about how I'm taking myself and everyone else to hell, yet you admittedly couldn't keep yourself from doing it then making it seem ok because you didn't have J/K's teachings....what a hypocritical way to cover yourself. Why did I come back here to try to get some support from a bunch of mean people claiming to be Ch
  13. Thanks so much for your support! I hope Dory reads over here on my side since I can't read TAZ's self defence bull anymore. Joel's busy telling me to "cut the crap" but the truth is the only crap is what TAZ is full of. Dory girl you hit the nail EXACTLY on the head of what our core problem has always been in our relationship. We'd go to a counsellor (5) of them now J & K made 6 and they all said the same things to us. Taz would get all ruffled, paint me as the bad on by defending himself as if I were on the oposite side of the fence and not in a relationship or marriage with him. N
  14. Whoever you are..."lisa"...you'll be happy to know that TAZ is now going to be a free man for you and any other woman who buys his sad "woe is me" tales about how his "bad" wife left him. I'm number 2. I've just filed for divorce from this phony Christian so feel free to be number 3. He's all yours and I'm finished. Please note though that if you can think of any other reasons for this man to lay his hands on you in anger...please do it quickly because 13 years from now may find you in a "lie" of a marriage with him. Love does not equal bruises of the body or heart. P.S. I noticed you d
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