belovedwarrior

I agree. The desire to chase her, control her, change her is dieing. I am kind of embarrassed to admit it. God is in control. I have immediate goals and responsibilities and cannot afford to go off the track with this. I read my Bible and do my devotionals and pray daily. The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me more and I am experiencing more peace. Side note- This is day four NO NICOTINE (chewing tobacco) my daughter (10 yrs old) confronted me Sunday night and said, "Daddy I am not going to come here anymore until you give up the chewing tobacco. We prayed for my strength and quit. Threw th

I did make this into a game and I ought to be taking this much more seriously. Just so you all know I have not "gone and done my own thing." I sure make it look like I am going to though and that is just stupid and wasting you good people's time. Please forgive me, I did you wrong.

Guilty as charged. I am sorry I have been so pig headed. I won't go.

Seriously- How is this? "You were let down in so many areas I promised to fulfill and experienced great pain by my treatment of you. I am so sorry. I did not behave Christlike nor did I keep God first in my life. It is understandable why you feel this is necessary and you have every right to feel this way. I accept your decision."

How about I say- "You know, the man you are divorcing is not the man you were married to."

Man David- This is soo difficult. I hate trying to engage with her, she is so hateful toward me. I will text her asking if she wants me to be there and either she won't respond or she will say "I don't care." I even hesitate to call her to talk to my kids.

Are you saying, "Just don't go?" I felt that from the beginning. But began to think she could say to herself and tell the kids, "The sob didn't even care enough to show up." I really have nothing to say that would do anyone any good at this point in time. Maybe, "I am so sorry you were not treated as Christ does the church, you know I failed to put God first in my life and I know it disappointed you in many areas. I hope this gives you the closure you need to begin healing." If not going somehow speaks a louder loving message- I'll do that. But please explain why it does. Is it because ther

I said that totally wrong. I want constructive critisism just want it well thought out and with an explanantion would be helpful. Please remember this is the last time I may be able to truly "say" anything for a long time.

FHFH- No, it is not required that I be there I am the defendent. My pastor suggested: PLease consider carefully criticising this, he believes she is behaving like a prodigal unable / unwilling to surrender to Jesus' lordship. Yes, he knows her.

Sorry, Dory, I could not tell if you were being sarcastic / biting, or really thought my tone and question was a good thing. I am giving up to let God handle it, but not closing my heart to her yet.

What I am thinking now is: I am sincerely sorry for the pain I have caused you, I know you sacrificed alot. I did not treat you Christlike nor did I put God first in my life. I lived to please my flesh and followed my feelings. I accept your decision to end this marriage and I hope this gives you the closure you need.

what would you have liked to have heard?

It is time to work on my statement for the divorce final. I am leaning toward, "wife's name, I am sincerely sorry for all the pain I caused you and failing to treat you in a Christlike way. I know I left you no other option than to get away from the pain and craziness by divorcing me. You have every right to feel this way and I accept your decision. I hope this provides the closure you need to begin healing.

I think I have been there. Even now my heart aches watching her live a destructive, Godless life- knowing all I know now about how much of it I caused.

Maybe if I stop "feeling" the condemnation for what I did for her I will be able to "feel" her pain more acutely.

I have been feeling there is more I must do to free myself from the guilt and condemnation of all I have done to her. I have prayed for forgiveness but I have not stated, "I repent of treating my wife so wickedly and I don't ever want to go there again, free me from this bondage in Jesus' name, cover me and my heart with your blood and remake me into your image." I will re-read my thread.

You would all agree there is nothing I can "do" to win her heart back other than press on to Christlikeness and serve her in anyway she allows. Well- to become christlike I must grow in my trust in God, believe deeply in the plan and destiny he has for me, his goodness, faithfulness, and mighty power. I must also surrender to Jesus' lordship in my life and follow His example, all the way to the cross. Yes? I cannot help but think He is asking me.. will you give up your mother, father, wife (everything you have placed above me) to follow me? Maybe right now I have the heart of a toddler but I

How would I know if it is just wanting what I cannot have?

She is not horrible nor washed up. She is a gem. Far better a woman than I deserve. Saying knocked up is not intended to be an insult and I am not angry I married her. I am fortunate she gave me nine years and I love her to death. Divorced twice by the age of 35 is the way many on the dating site she is using would see her as. I know who she is and her beatiful heart all they see is the info she puts up. Yes she could have had the baby without me I suppose but her morales and parents provided quite a bit of pressure. I am just saying- I have always thought she thought she was too good for me.

Earl- she got stuck with me cause I knocked her up when she was emotionally needy. It was a rebound relationship. We didn't even "like" each other when we first married and I began hurting her heart from day one so it really went downhill from there. She fought for 9 years to try and reach me. I didn't respond until she kicked me to the curb. She is now searching for someone at least 5 inches taller than me, financially stable (which I am not) and uses money wisely (which I didn't do). She is beautiful and has many options before her. The only thing that may be in my favor is she has 4 kids an

I have been pondering this for quite some time now. I WAS an abuser and addicted to "the precious" my entire marriage. She can so easily do better than me. She has turned this page and moved on with her life. She has no interest in looking back and rightly so. I mean what have I done to "really change?" Lost weight? So what. I still have nothing to offer her. No job and gobs of student loan and personal debt. I really think I need to let go and work on becoming the best man that I can be. I have no "right" to pursue her and complicate her life, especially having not even started therapy or kno

What exactly should I say?

Here's my advice to me: Yes your wife is lost right now, she is walking in deception. You put her in the tailspin and opened the door for the enemy that got her there. Are you going to abandon her again? Go get her, help her find her way, defeat the enemy holding her captive, RESCUE HER! Here are your weapons: Prayer, the Blood of Jesus, the armour of God, Agape LOVE, the words you speak and 20 minutes of face to face time every other week. The first battle will be in the courthouse, choose your words carefully! OK- Help me father speak with love, tenderness, maturity, sincerity and convict

You people are so good to me. I need this correction so bad. When I saw my wife tonight my heart ached for her (just come home- stop running) let me help soothe your wounds. I love you and I am sorry... I love you and I am sorry worked. She did pick up on it. I don't think she realised it but she was a bit more soft in her heart. Just a touch. Nothing to jump up and down about but some. I just kept thinking, "I love you and I am sorry" and I know that "crazy looking for approval or a hand out look" was not in my eyes. Brian- Thanks for being tough with me. At least now I am beginning to acce

Everytime I see my wife Jaya I am going to repeatedly say in my mind, "I love you and I am sorry." and feel it in my heart.