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God Save My Marriage

ulysee798

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About ulysee798

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  1. Hi, to everyone. Gutted for you Firewalker, you are indeed a tower of strength and I pray for you too in your time of need. I have been very busy and very stressed and did loose the forum for a while, but have found you again. Things are going OK at the moment. February was a long time ago and was the one and only time we have been intimate. Some of that is down to us needing to work out how to communicate and some (maybe more??) is about the fact that my lovely sees that if we are still officially separate she can still claim benefits etc. The good news is that we are back together -
  2. Hi, no strings elsewhere - sorry for not updating, loads going on including a house move. We are still moving forward but it does sometimes feel like one step forwards, two steps back. I will give you all a fuller update as soon as I can. Blessings - Ulysee
  3. Dear all, very brief update (and I really mean it this time ) I had the best weekend ever this weekend - my Lovely and I had decided to go to a seminar called "Relationships: As God designed" It was one day 9-5pm and my Lovely had already arranged babysitting for Friday & Saturday. I went to London on Friday night and basically decided that as it was her house it should be her rules and so I volunteered to sleep in a separate bed - which she said she had wanted and I believe she had been a little worried about. She said it was really something for me to do and she appreciated it. Satu
  4. Hi, thanks to everyone for your prayers. I haven't updated recently because things were moving slowly but I will attempt to update now. After the wonderful weekend the feelings from my Lovely seemed to last about 2 days. I have to understand for myself that she was stressed by several issues. The Landlord did want to throw her out and my Lovely has had to go to see a Lawyer to see what she can do about that. There was also the stress from her decision to have her own birthday party on the same day as her brother's 30th birthday. So the texts with a kiss lasted until the Wednesday. I have bee
  5. I have just had what I can only describe as a very lovely but utterly confusing weekend. I will try to explain in the context of the whole week. During the week I have spoken a few times with my Lovely. On Tues she called me to tell me she had discovered that she has actually passed her exam by the skin of her teeth (I think the passmark was lower than normal - according to her anyway). She said something like "I know you won't be happy with that" So I let her know (as lovingly as I could without fawning) that I was happy she passed and that I wanted her to be doing what God calls her to do.
  6. Hi to all - it has been a while since I posted but for no other reason than time. My Lovely came home for Christmas and also this past week I have been a single parent with 4 kids at home in stead of at school because of the snowy conditions in the UK. We aren't geared up for it so a few inches of snow brings us to a grinding halt with school closures, and even 2 of my churches closed this weekend! I am still trying to follow God's calling to be Christlike and am still trying to be the man he has called me to be. Here is an update of the situation for the past couple of weeks. My Lovely ca
  7. Hi - sorry to have been silent for so many days things are interesting here. Firstly may I say thank you to June for her comments. I appreciate what you have said and that it comes from your heart and from your own experience. It also helps me to keep my perspective on my responsibility for where my marriage is right now - I accept that I am not blameless nor a superhero nor anything other than a penitent husband trying to win his wife's heart back in the most unusual of circumstances and trying to become a true Christlike man of God. Big thanks to Purple and Firewalker too - I really do a
  8. Purple - thank you for your words - the truth hurts, but it is the truth - I will have to let her go. It is strange because it still feels like I'm being the woman and she the man. Juts how does a man in my position agape love his wife who is the one working against the marriage/ Perhaps we shall never know. Thanks too to everyone else for your words and support. I am in a sad place right now having to contemplate what to do next. Yet I can see clearly that if my wife wants out then I must allow that. I think that what is wrong right now is that she still wants us to parent together - meanin
  9. Brief update - I'm shattered after such a busy weekend. I may update in full later but basically my wife came home this morning - was quite loud about "talking" to me so that the kids heard. I wondered if she was trying to prepare them or show me up. Unfortunately the kids - without my saying one word - picked up on her attitude and were telling her not to have a go at me about stuff that wasn't to do with me or my fault. We had a "conversation" as soon as she arrived and she was so wanting to figure it all out that she nearly made me late for church. The upshot of the conversation is that
  10. Purple, Tigger & firewalker Many thanks for your replies and your prayers. My wife is in London tonight (Sat) but is coming back here early tomorrow. This week has been difficult in may ways. I am praying and trying to be mature and Christlike in what I do and that is, as always, very hard. My wife (will try & think of a name) has been a little distant, but has had an essay and work to do. What is very difficult for me right now is communication. My wife seems to think that either there is a telepathic link between us or that because she has told someone down here (eg a family
  11. Could be long!!! Okay so all I can truly say at the moment is that I am very very confused - I'll tell you why. On Saturday I texted my wife to say that if she was dating other men already we needed to tell the kids, that day, that we are getting divorced. She came back with a text saying we needed to talk about what to tell them and that we would not likely agree for that day. I texted back to say, you're on the train, think about what to say and we'll discuss it when you get here. She then came back saying that she knew I wanted to hurt her but to leave the kids out of it & whilst I
  12. Thanks firewalker. My head is in a complete spin right now. I am full of questions. Do I offer her the chance to tell her family about this man and if she doesn't, I tell them anyway? Anything I do will be interpreted by her as good reason why she left me. What would/does a mature man do when faced with this kind of issue? Do I leave it to God? Do I stop her sleeping here? Would it be childish to take away her benefits? Would that just hurt the kids in the longer term? What do I tell the kids? Only about the divorce and in fairly neutral terms? It is so obvious to me that my wife has co
  13. Well now I know a bit more of where I stand. I made a big boob by talking to my niece on FB and the mistake was asking her about my wifes alternate FB account because I asked if my wife was shown as single She said I think so - then apparently called my wife all upset. My wife finished her exams and called this afternoon. She was pleasant and then laid in to me about her niece calling and her feelings about being allowed a private life etc. I apologised and admitted it was childish. She then talked to the kids a bit and ended up coming back to me. We talked a little about our situation
  14. Thank you Purple and Tigger - I have spent much of these last days in prayer asking God to direct my paths and also reflecting on where we go from here. We have had minimal contact this week (even with the kids - who sadly, when my wife rings only the youngest wants to talk to her, the other 3 just say no when I ask if they want to talk to mummy - very sad (to me at least)). What echoes in my mind is that my wife does seem to think that she is owed something, is acting like a rebellious teenager (has even said - albeit a while ago - that this is as much to do with her parents from when she w
  15. Purple, Do you mean by that that you think she is seeing someone else? Or that she is just being selfish with her time because it's "her" time? Thanks
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