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God Save My Marriage


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About 631

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  • Location
    Oregon, USA
  • Interests
    Spending time with family (wife and 3 kids) and doing chores around the farm.
  1. Had a great day yesterday. Sent texts during work and accomplished nearly all of my 20's by the end of the day. Skipped out on a business dinner to be able to attend a church homegroup function with my bride. Sure glad I did. We ended up watching a movie and the two of us got to sit together on the couch. Gave her several hugs and kisses along with a short foot rub. After a late night grocery shopping, where she received more hugs and kisses, I gave her a big hug and asked her if she felt like she had received enough hugs and kisses. She said yes. Yay! Even though it was nearly 1:00 a
  2. OK time for an update. Been really tired the past several days and haven't had the best attitude. My flirting dropped off significantly as well as my hugs and kisses. Difficult to track back how many were initiated over the past few days... but not as many as she needs. Yesterday, I gave Hope a kiss, hug and kiss goodbye on my way out the door. Tried to send text messages when I could from work with my boss at my side. He doesn't like lots of "blackberry" work while in the customer's plants so I did my best to get away. Sent a flirty text and received a response letting me know that w
  3. Game On! I really like this idea too. Already found the last two days to be a mixed bag... one full of hugs, kisses, and compliments and then today falling back into my old pattern of really sucking at it. My beautiful bride kindly reminded me of this competition... I really want to make my wife feel like I am a winner in winning her over with this competition. Been traveling this week for work but made it possible to bring the whole family... so this evening 6 of us are crammed into a 4 person hotel room. Things I did for my wife today... Stayed late (for getting to work) at the
  4. Hi, Yes things have been very busy. Hope has been battling post pardom hypertension with very very high blood pressure. Dealing with side effects from the medication, ER and Immediate Care Visits, all nighters. We finally got her on a new medication that we pray will not have the side effects that this first did. In addition to all this, our oldest son just got over enfentigo(sp?), all the kids have bad colds, our brand new little girl has an eye infection of some kind, and I just got over Strep A. Whewh! We are hanging on! I know I wasn't the greatest husband during the delivery as I h
  5. Mr. Bingley, Thank you for dropping by. Funny I was just reading though your wife's praise reports two nights ago. You mentioned "I fell so in love with God and so in love with my wife that my conscience (and the Holy Spirit that dwells within me) was enlivened and hypersensitized to help me repudiate sexual desires that fall outside my marriage vows." Yes, this is what I want!! This is my goal and my desire! To grow in love with my wife so much that I allow the Holy Spirit to come alive within me. To come alive so much that it kills any sexual desires other than those toward my wife.
  6. Kimberly, Yes, you are right! When I was honestly choosing to love Hope, I did not give into lust. However, once I protected myself and lied about a lustfull incident that had ocurred, I chose lust over my wife and allowed the devil into my life and into my marriage. TimothyPaul, Thank you for sharing. What you say is true. Something that I have really struggled with, as mentioned in previous posts, is feeling my wife's pain. She can sit and talk to me all night, sharing her deep hurts with raw emotions. She can conjur up the best anaologies to help me see and feel what she's going t
  7. Tonight didn't work well for her to get on due to a church function. I know that no one meant to cause her any more hurt and stress and I hope I didn't protray anything different. It was the direction the call went based on what was known, and I didn't stop it or turn it in the right direction. The blame is on me. I will get on and clarify this with Hope as soon as I can. I have visited the site recommended by Firewalker and will review it with Hope when she is able. I will also continue to look for other men's posts regarding becoming free from the temptation of lust. I also wan
  8. Thank you June and Firewalker. I wanted to say something about how the call went last night. What Hope was really looking for was validation over everything that has happened. Validation of all the pain she is going through. Validation that she has been stuck in a terrible marriage full of lies and deceit for almost 9 years. Validation that she is with a man she will never be able to trust. Validation that she has been married to a man that is without honor or integrity, that is selfabsorbed, that is the perfectionist of a passive man, and a man that has been battling lust. She is wi
  9. Hi everyone, I'm trying to be as real as I can here as I am striving to become a true and honest Christ-like husband. Thank you for the help and the help posted (for me) on Hope's thread. Trying to live a lust free life and admit to Hope if I sinned was where I thought I needed to be at. (Obviously I didn't follow through on either). I was not in a place where I was allowing the Holy Spirit to live in me and through me. If I had been, then I would have been completely honest with Hope. As well, I would not have struggled with lust as I did this summer. Hope has been doing an excellent
  10. Below is an article I received today through Pure Life Ministries that discusses unconfessed sin. Studying it and reviewing the scripture quoted within helps me understand just what happends with my relationship with the Lord when I do not confess my sin. I can see what it has done to my wife and I am disgusted by my lies. I want to always feel the "...joyous liberty that Christ purchased on Calvary." Thought this was was worth sharing. I trust this is ok to post. The Weight of Unconfessed Sin By Bradley Furges For weeks after January 18, 2004, 21-year-old Dan Leach was able to c
  11. I'm at a point now where I have taken Hope back to a place where there is absolutely no trust in the relationship. I was lying to protect my feelings for I didn't like seeing my wife hurt and the way it made me feel. Not being careful with my eyes, not doing everything possible to protect myself from lust, and not being a man of integrity, was putting my feelings ahead of her. She is in a place now where she says she's done. She doesn't want any persuing from me. What should I do at this point to restore the marriage? Any advice is appreciated. Desperate for help in this siuation where
  12. IHI, I copied your comment to me from your thread here to keep things all together. Yes, I have felt it and really realized today at church that I am that man that shows up to church, plays the part, and continues to bring injury and abuse to my bride. All the while trying to help other men learn how to be a Christ-like husband. Our pastor had an awesome sermon today about truly being touched by God. I want to be touched by the hand of God, feel His presence, and make that connection with Him. To have that true relationship and to KNOW Him. I have known that I needed to have a ro
  13. In His Image, Thank you for taking the time to post. I will follow through with your recommendations. From reading your post and after I watch the video's I pray these things will help her pain soak into my heart. Josh and Kimberly, Thank you for taking so much time with us tonight. I really appreciate all you shared. I have good notes and know what I need to do. We will report back with a progress report on how things are going. I hope you were able to get some decent sleep. Thanks again, 631
  14. Yes, I have really messed up. No excuses. No defense. She shared with me the "Responding to a Passive Guy" thread before she managed pulled my sin out of me. I am amazed at the accuracy of how it defines my true character. I want so badly to appear to be the perfect Christ-like husband, to appear to be a man of true integrity, that I will lie to cover up my sin or wrong doing. I don't feel her pain and I don't feel guilty enough to confess to her how I have hurt her. I will be on the call tonight. I am 100% committed to this ministry yet I have not proven that I am 100% commited to my wif
  15. In His Image, I have only read a very small portion of your thread but already know there is so much depth and truth in what you say. I am in a place right now where I have been trying to play the Christ-like husband role but failing, because I have been trying to do it without truly knowing God. Trying to do it on my own. The passivity of who I am and the choice to not rid myself from it and truly love God and my wife has brought my dear wife so much pain. I look forward to reading your past and future posts as I begin a new journey. Thank you for sharing.
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