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God Save My Marriage

flyboy

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Everything posted by flyboy

  1. We wound up taking the girls over to my mom's house since she had a very rare weekend off. She watched them while Pink and I went out and burned the town down...ok we were a little off our "normal" game but we did get out and have some fun. I'll let Pink fill in the details if she wants. Other than that things have been going fairly well. A little bit of a step back week before last with my attitude but Pink called attention to it and I corrected myself. I am still trying to make romance a daily part of living here. Let me restate that, I am trying to make romance that SHE likes a daily par
  2. I have been talking to my brother trying to set something up so that we can do a child care swap so hopefully we can get something going for next weekend. My mom would be fine to watch all three girls but she works nights and has kind of a random schedule these days. Their dad isn't going to see them for about another month so we can't rely on him. My mom should be going into a few days off close to next weekend so that is another avenue that I hope can pan out for a date night next weekend. Besides that nothing really to talk about right now. Hoping to get on a call or two this week. The ha
  3. I'll get on here and post the next time she points something out so I can be as up to date and accurate as possible. So far it seems to be things that I WAS doing, then tried to add on to my "repertoire" and forgot to do them or life got too busy to do everything on the list for that day. Also I have been having a hard time coming up with a baby sitter for our date nights. With her sister being sick (which I don't like to burden with anyways) I can occasionally use her dad but my mom's work schedule keeps her from doing it. Other than that we don't really know anybody we trust the baby with
  4. Has anyone ever seen that cartoon where Goofy is trying to plug the leaks in the dam by using his fingers. As he plugs one hole another pops open until he runs out of appendages? It's pretty funny to watch but I feel like Goofy right now and it's not very funny. Pink deserves the absolute best in life and I am trying so hard to give it to her. I won't tell you the things I'm doing because that doesn't really matter but I keep forgetting little things that are adding up into big things. It's not from not caring or not thinking about her. I think it's mostly just trying to get used to everythi
  5. Hey thanks, yeah I had tried to speak up but I guess all that came across was the back ground noise but oh well. Anyways so far so good today, I love loving my beautiful wife! I am waiting for a call back from the Polygraph guy. I have called the only one in our area that does fidelity issue and am waiting for the return call.
  6. Hey all I have been dropping the ball lately on posting daily. Sometimes it seems like there is nothing really new to post so no reason to post I guess. Either way I'll get back into the habit of stopping in and saying hi at least. Last week we got on the phone call I think twice. I know Pink and I got on once together and I tried to speak up but couldn't talk over Joel so I gave up. They were talking about a card Kathy got and there was a momentary break while she went to get it. I unmuted and tried to talk but I guess the only thing you guys could hear was the back ground noise because a f
  7. Nope I completely dropped the ball on the LDT but it hasn't been forgotten. Still working on everything on the list and I will get it done today. Yes I have been "loving her up" but for no other reason than that she deserves it. I am completely on board with anything that she needs, but that part hasn't been the priority which I will correct. Thanks again.
  8. Yah if there is a break in the conversation or when you are asking for other people I'll say something, it's just when you guys are flowing and there really isn't that "good" spot to break in that I keep quiet. I know it's hard to believe that I can be quiet but I promise it is true. Anyways, ya we agree that we need to be more active and it is something that we are focusing on. Trying to get in to a positive routine and not forget about the girls has been a challenge I guess but we are moving in the right direction. Thanks again and God Bless.
  9. That's cool, I have earned that I guess. Not really sure what to tell you besides that things are going really well. We were sick for a few days which kind of threw us out of our routine but we were actually talking about it today that we needed to get back in to it. Thank you for the reminder. Last week we watched our hour on the dvd, I have been reading in the bible but we missed a few days of prayer together. We have had a few little road bumps but have been able to work through them together. I just got done reading in book two of J & K, I started that before I got on here btw. I
  10. Yah totally understand, and that's why I tattled on myself so to speak. I just want to make sure I am doing the right things for Pink and that is one of them. So like I said am going to tackle it in the morning. Thanks again!
  11. Hey all another great day with Pink. Nothing really big to talk about right now. The girls just got back from there dad's house so we are going to be doing our Christmas this evening. Once we are done we are going to try to get on the phone call but if it is too late we will be watching the dvd this evening and praying together. Going to tattle on myself but I didn't do anything today towards the polygraph. I had every intention when I got up this morning but just got to busy so I will make the calls tomorrow. I did look for more information on line but am at the point now that I need to mak
  12. Hey all just wanted to let you know that things are going well, still focusing on learning how to love Pink how she needs. I've had my moments of less than greatness so to speak but Pink has been quick to point out that I could have done something better. I have been really trying to study her and re-learn everything about her and to keep showing her she truly is my heart. The last few weeks has been amazing with how well we have been communicating and working together. Anyways just wanted to give you guys an update.
  13. Actually I was thinking of putting it on the slcera of my eyes so that every time I opened them I would see the reminder....
  14. Pink and I are still working towards getting a game plan in place, the challenge right now is the post fight-post honeymoon energy crash where we just don't have the energy to do everything that we want to do. I am frustrated with myself today because I didn't get as much done on my "action" list that I wanted. Pink is understanding because I addressed it with her but I want so badly to show her that I am very serious about winning her heart back. Yes we have been intimate but I had laid everything down for her before we did. It wasn't something that she gave me something then I gave her
  15. Not really sure where to start at so if I miss something let me know. The school thing I have completely given up. I told Pink that I would give that up for her no matter what I thought and I am sticking to it. What ever happens with that from now on will be what Pink needs. We have discussed several options and have both agreed that it is something that we are going to do together. There isn't anything that I won't do for Pink and it is now up to me to show her by my actions. So I have given up everything and am working on meeting the list of her needs. She agreed to help remind me when I
  16. Hey Joel I am sorry that we are obviously remembering things differently but I would very much appreciate in the future to have the money conversation on the side. It really feels like to me you are trying to humiliate me by bringing this out here on the forum. When would be a good time to contact you so that we can talk about this and come to an agreement without dragging this into the public eye. I made you a promise and I will keep that promise. We were on a shoe string budget, and had some very unexpected things occur right before the intensive that would have kept us from making it. We
  17. Hey thanks for the information, got things figured out so I don't think that is going to be a problem any more. Thanks again!
  18. Joel there are a lot of things that I think you need to know but am limited on saying because I am completely confused about what I am supposed to say and what is off limits. I am not trying to make myself look “good”, by now you should know me better than that. I don’t give a hoot about what you all think about me. I fought hard for the truth because you guys were only reinforcing her hurts rather than soothing them. You make it sound like I downloaded the porn after I got home. I downloaded it in a very dark time of my life when I didn’t think there was any hope. After I spoke to you an
  19. Hey Joel I know you don't have the time to go back and read through my posts, but I did try to forward to you several occasions in the past where your helpers told me to be quiet and quit saying anything about her not being intimate. You would hardly ever respond to my emails no matter the content so I never knew if they were getting to you. I understand that you are a busy guy, but to sit there and blame me that your helpers are giving conflicting guidance is a little unfair. I tried to point things out in a way that I didn't come across like I was trying to point the finger at Pink. I a
  20. I would think that you guys being so PRO marriage would want ALL options to be exhausted before a divorce, not just what you FEEL should or should not happen. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN GOD. Even if I did have a porn problem like you suggest wouldn't it be possible for God to heal and protect that? Or are you saying that it is too much for even God to help me stay pure? That our only option is to find a career that doesn't include interacting with women. Next question for you, what would you suggest as a career that would be suitable for a lowly "porn" guy? You guys have continually made
  21. Well just got served with the divorce papers. I had hoped and prayed that Pink would be willing to go to that counselor Mrs. Clean suggested but I guess she feels the marriage was too far gone to continue to work on. The man that I have been meeting with every Friday for guidance is a leader in our church familiar with J&K's teachings. He has been an amazing advocate for my marriage and a man that I believe Pink trusts. No matter what happens between Pink and I, I plan to continue meeting with him to further my spiritual growth and pray that God will open her heart to private counsel
  22. Couple of things real quick. I found a place for Charlie but they can't take him until next weekend. The kennel they have needs fixed and they will get it done this week. So not sure if there is any way that Pink can hold out that long? The other thing that I wanted to say was that I am sorry to Pink for slipping back in to the habit of throwing her under the bus. My intention was not to make her look bad, drag her through the mud or list all of the ways that she had been less than perfect but I understand that is exactly what I wound up doing and I apologize deeply for that. She is truly a
  23. Really quickly I just thought of something. It's not a big deal but was just wondering if it has been acknowledged that she still has access to all of my accounts. That despite all of this I haven't tried to cut her off from verifying that I am not being inappropriate. My thought was that if I remain open then it could be a place to start the healing process. I know it's a really minor thing over all but with her trust issues I just figured it would be at least a starting point. I miss my family deeply and am very aware that I could lose them forever. I am not making this choice lightl
  24. Again and again you guys give DIFFERENT instruction than what J&K say.... Case in point the reading. Aren't the instructions when we leave the intensive to keep each other on track with the reading with gentle questions of if your spouse had been able to read yet or not. That is what I remember J & K saying at the intensive when we both signed the contract agreement. Do I remember that correctly? You guys assume that I have been sitting like a spoiled child waiting for her to show ME something before I will show HER anything. You ignore her own comments about how she treats me
  25. Ok about my son. I did not want to just "disappear" with him. I wanted him to be involved with OUR family and to feel WELCOME in our home. He got the picture very quickly that he was not welcome. The girls love him but Pink can't stand him. I didn't expect Pink to wrestle with him or anything but at least allow me to be a dad. If he did something that i didn't catch just TELL me and I will handle it. Don't hold it against him that he is a huge teenager who is struggling to learn how to become a man. She would tell me that if Damon was coming to our home she was leaving for the weekend. Tell
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