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God Save My Marriage


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About NewLife

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  • Birthday 08/20/1968

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  1. Hi, thank you for all your encouragement and time. I have not spoken or sms'd one single word to Willem since last week Saturday. there really is no point. Last week was supposed to be his week of really going for the AA meetings. He got to one as it was ending, and that was the end of his efforts for last week. He got drunk Wednesday night and Friday night last week. i had still not touched any alcohol until then. Then he decided he is no longer my dog, his words to me in an sms as he swore me twice. I do not want to speak to this man at all. not a word. i will not even speak to him a
  2. Hi, something else is showing itself much more clearer. Like Willem NOT actually blessing me by doing what i ask. First it was the gifts. He insisted on giving them to me after i asked him NOT TO. 3X !!! Then i asked him what is going on. (with this latest escapade) i know what i decided, but i wanted to know what he had decided. so he gave a bit of a detailed answer, but he never did get around to actually answering me. so he dodged that one too. that was until Sunday night when we sat face to face talking and i asked him the same question. he answered me the same way. i asked WHY w
  3. By now ya should all know to have your popcorn or snacks ready before you sit down to read my posts Tuesday 11th January I posted yesterday at an internet café. Could only get on for an hour. I know it IS GOOD, it is progress when Willem opens up and speaks his fears aloud, because then he can finally start facing them. So I really hope that my venting about him speaking his fears doesn’t shut him down. I am also done walking on eggshells around him. He has seen my craziness up front, he has had a front row seat all these years. I am done performing for him. What a gross show
  4. Friday 7th January 2011. I decided to journal on a word doc, to stay in touch. This gets me so down. The waiting. The never knowing what direction he has chosen, if any. I have not initiated any contact with him. On Wednesday he sms’d me that he had borrowed money against his bakkie and paid the water bill fully as well as the phone. He apologized for letting me think he was going to leave it. He said he cares that I do not worry about these things…really? Then why hasn’t he made it his business to know exactly how much groceries we have left, what will run out and when, so that he is RE
  5. Hi, I am at an internet cafe. i am crying. i am hurting even worse than i was an hour ago. HE DOESNT TRUST WITH ME MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just WHAT THE HELL have i been doing with YOUR money for the last 3 and half YEARS????????????? He cant even stand to go shopping with me. As long as you show ZERO INTEREST, in the way YOUR money gets channelled, obviously you think i am wasting it. HOW DARE YOU? I wait MONTHS before i go to a hairdresser, i wait months before i get to go for a wax. i dont own jewellery, my perfumes are always the smallest cheapest crap we can find
  6. Yes, amen. what a very prophetic awesome dream. your case is personally being handled by God. YOU WIN, either way. and we continue to stand in faith for you h's breakthrough in Jesus name.
  7. Hi there GP, so sorry your precious peaceful family time was interupted so rudely and unremorsefuly angry. I had the same Chaos on the last day of the year. i was managing to stay calm, relax and prepare everything for the outing that evening, when W rocked up here wanting to take my son without my permission about a lie he had told his dad about me. and then the incident with the open/close open/close of our huge iron front gate until he decided to ram it right off its wheels! thank God my aunt was here to help me get back to a place of stability. that put such a damper on my whole even
  8. Really, what makes me 'crazy' angry with him, is that he gets so angry about all the money he is dishing out, and STILL he does not ask for a breakdown. Still he does not ask to see where the money was spent. It is an ingrained HABIT of mine, to always share with him and tell him what i got with the money. so whenever we split up, because the communication has broken down once again. he is even less interested in how i channel the money, he just gets angry when WE need more. This is VERY confusing and very frustrating to me! VERY FRUSTRATING. i NEED him to see where the money is going SO
  9. We keep coming round and round this mountain. First of all he does not give the money to me FOR ME personally. I have asked him repeatedly, to use the words 'the family' and not me personally unless it is those times when he does give me personal money for the hairdresser or clothing etc. he should say, the money i gave for 'the family'. because i feel WAY too much accusation whenever he says...the money i gave you. There are many triggers there for me. Willem condemned me very deeply in the years we were both doing drugs, because i was the one always pushing for them. So i ruined our financ
  10. our phone and internet are going to be cut as well. so if you suddenly dont hear from me. well thats more than likely what has happened.
  11. This is the type of thing that drives me nuts. This is the very type of thing i will move past and get the victory over. These 'feelings' of always wanting to connect with him, to hear from him, to want to work together as a team in our home with him. are dying in me. and i cannot go through all this pain, only to have him decide when and where and how. and then suddenly i must be the strong one and pull some strength out from somewhere, to respond warmly, when he decides HE IS NOW READY. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HIS DECISIONS ARE. He is being allowed to ignore me here and the household resp
  12. Hi there Scooter, Please do yourself a favor and print this post of Kimberly's out and read it often. This truth does take time to sink in. and you must LET IT sink in.
  13. what? you have freedom the to display your giggling? seriously? Your wife is still dying a thousand deaths since your 'confessions'. and you have the freedom and time to laugh. while she can not for the life of her right now even muster a genuine SMILE. why? you may want to ask yourself. well think man think, because her pain is REAL. wow you moved on quick. Please keep your 'funny' moments to yourself right now. How in the world do you think this will come across to your wife. oh thats right YOU WERENT THINKING! This IS NOT THE TIME to be sharing your little funnies with us
  14. Yes, amen to Terry's post, and the scales dont need a divine miracle to come off. They come off when you start facing yourself and stop hiding from the flaws in your character. We all have them. There is not one, perfect on this earth. No one is perfect. We are always faced with choices. Our choices determine our destinations. And even then you need to take stock of your life and see to it, that we are WHERE GOD wants us to be. otherwise if you are at a place in your life where YOU are happy, but it is NOT where God desires you, then you have CHOSEN your own will above the Will of God. T
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