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God Save My Marriage

Last Chance

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About Last Chance

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. Thank you. So my ex is a victim...? Then she has escaped and is happier. She does not "need" me. I am no longer upset at her poor choices but at the damage that her new choices are having on the kids. We are divorced...she got everything she wanted. It's complete insanity to fight for the heart that despises me. I have done that...fought for her, worked to change, took her direction & the ministry's and failed. Never worked so hard and failed so spectacularly in my life. Who keeps atsomething like that? I am done. Her oxytosin is firing off for someone else...her choice. She is no longer
  2. Hi June, yes. I have kept up with child support every two weeks and ensure it was garnished from my wages. That's a done deal, as is the "marriage". We divorced on December 28th, 2010. Snow White is doing great from what I can tell, new boyfriend 30 days later, they are having sex (like she and I did when we were dating), introduced her boyfriend to the kids who are not handling it well. I am completely finished with pursuing her. My past lying and reliance on porn was my very large contribution to the destruction of our marriage. Never shirked that...but unexamined were her issues. She is
  3. Tonight's couples call is scaring me straighter! I have been inconsistent with constant focus on pursuing my wife. Here's what will be done by the end of this week: 1. My hours at the restaurant job will be slashed down to 2-3 days per week. I am spending WAY TOO MUCH time prepping for and working at this restaurant job where I make peanuts. Instead, that time will be used to bless my wife, being at the house with her and the kids, building up my wife and our family by spending time together. Snow White asked me about this today (early afternoon) and her words are coming back to me now. 2.
  4. Monday, May 31, 2010 Snow White took some time off with the kids and traveled to Southwest Florida over the long Memorial Day Weekend. Anticipating her return today, I got some things for her. Later this evening, she mentioned that she prefer I not buy all these little gift items, that she has no room for the clutter I am bringing into the house. I have a pending child support amount due monthly and she mentioned that she would prefer I pay that then whatever is being paid for all the little gifts bought for her. On the men’s call this week, I will ask Joel if I really shouldn’t buy thi
  5. Snow White and I met for a quick lunch on Wednesday afternoon. I saw her smile a few times and laugh and talk more about her work than ever before. So on the one hand, she was more open than she has been since last November. It was good to see that beautiful smile and hear her laugh in a conversation between just us. She is absolutely gorgeous and I want her more than ever. We talked about finances, the kids, her work, my job search, etc. Toward the end I asked what she felt about our relationship. She said that there is no connection but that it was good that I finally was able to commit
  6. PS. Reading Proverbs 4 this morning from "THE MESSAGE" translation. "Wisdom" sounds more and more like my Snow White. "Never walk away from Wisdom - she guards your life; love her - she keeps her eye on you. Above all and before all, do this: get Wisdom! Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding! Throw your arms around her - believe me, you won't regret it; never let her go - she'll make your life glorious. She'll garland your life with grace, she'll festoon your days with beauty." (Prov. 4) She is already a Proverbs 31 woman...now I see her in Proverbs 4 also. Thank you, Lo
  7. Sunday, May 16, 2010 Where to start? Snow White recommended I participate in a fatherhood seminar at our church on Saturday…it was good. Brought up big issues I have struggled with in my fathering skills…in the past, would get very angry and yell…and just this past week I reverted back to physically restraining my daughter who was on a rampage. What a jerk I’ve been. She said “I don’t want a daddy who is angry at me and yells. That’s why you are separate (separated from Snow White).” I apologized to her for my actions without excuse…she calls it like she sees it…just like her mom. The
  8. Thursday, May 13, 2010 In the past, one of the ways Snow White was wounded was when I would not call her to tell her I would be late coming home. One of my patterns that she articulated very well was how I have sought out diversions for pleasure instead of taking responsibility to step up and be a man. After a week or so of being on track, I have derailed again after having breakfast with a past friend who was in town. Snow White is rightly frustrated, again, and I am to blame. In the past, the shame spiral would take over and I’d go dark on her. How pathetic. Here is this beautiful, sens
  9. Snow White met me for coffee today. She looked absolutely beautiful. She had profound things to say that have further pared down what my focus and instruction need to be. She has summarized my life struggles as: 1. My word has not been my bond in the biggest nor smallest of committments 2. I have always looked for the maximum amount of return for the most minimal effort 3. When given the choice to be humble/honest or protect myself, I have mostly chosen self protection I thanked her for being honest, open to meeting and talking and for her wisdom. She is helping me to become a better man a
  10. My beautiful wife has agreed to meet today at 1:30pm for coffee. I am excited to spend this time with her to find out what's in her heart and "listen to the music" of where she is. We had an O.K. weekend filled with spending time with the kids and working. On Friday the Child Support Proposed Order came in and the amount, though high, has fed the fire of finding better paying work...FAST. Regardless of the order, Snow White deserves to have a husband who can provide for her so that she does not have to work if she chooses not to. If God is for our marriage and we are for our marriage, who
  11. Snow White brought up a good point today. She graciously allowed me into the house to help support her yard sale project. She still does not feel me connecting with her emotionally. What she needs is for me to connect face-to-face with her and to ask her what is in her heart and to connect with her pain. She is right to feel that way...I have only done this mostly over the phone and it is not effective. I asked her to have coffee this Monday and she agreed...and my heart leapt! She is still looking for me to step up and be a man and for her, I will do this. Each week, I will ask her to spend p
  12. My beautiful bride has been hurting alot lately and I have been completely inept at making time to talk with her. Tonight she answered the phone. She shared the pain in her heart about something that happened between her and another adult family member. She also rightly shared at the end that the situation would not have even happened if I hadn't destroyed our family by my past wicked sins...she is right. Very glad she opened her heart and felt open to share her hurt. She is doing an amazing job with the kids and she is an awesome mother making it all happen for her and the kids. All my extra
  13. This morning Snow White called b/c she is very ill with some type of flu virus. I am grateful to be at the house helping with chores and took the kids out for lunch and play for a couple of hours. I just know that our marriage is going to be healed, that she will have a remarkably healed immune system and she will be physically healthy someday! There is no doubt, only real belief in this. Every week, the Lord has been gracious in showing me how to heal what's been wrong with my "brain" and thinking. Miss Elizabeth is actually one of the most important helpers in this ministry for me right now.
  14. Honey, I am sorry for being late this morning. You are absolutely right to feel this way. You have been hurt by my actions too many times not to feel this way. When you see me miss the mark, it calls into question everything, not just the situation that initiated the doubts. You are doing the right thing by accepting no less from me than what is reasonable and obtainable. Because of your stand, I have never lied again to my employers...you are an outstanding helpmeet and you are making a difference! I appreciate you so much and am so sorry for hurting you yet again. You are a priceless treas
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