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God Save My Marriage

Lots of work to do

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About Lots of work to do

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. Joel, Thank you for welcoming me back. What I said does not: for these are the results of the free will of man which has been given to us by God. This, free will, is always brought out on this forum especially when it comes to helping us men recognize that we might get everything right becoming Christ-like and our wives may still CHOOSE to not come back. Yes, God is good, (all the time and all the time He is good). And there is also evil in the world. Again, thank you for welcoming me back. Ira
  2. I recently received an email from a trusted friend that suggested I go back and read the last few posts to my thread following what this person recognized as my decision to leave the thread as requested by Joel. I’ve learned that dying to one’s (my) self is not about how I feel. Dying to self is painful process but it is meant for the outcome of others. So in this light, I have decided that I will continue posting and allow others to grow along with me. This decision comes out of the encouragement I’ve received here and the recognition that I could be helping others. I have been remind
  3. InHisImage, I decided to heed your advice I decided to come back and say that I felt a conviction to not go out on dates until I felt a release from God; that during the one lunch I had with a friend who knows my situation I felt uncomfortable, that I was cheating on Leah. That I know that I need to work this out taking one day at a time, drawing closer to God and gaining my strength from Him. Now, after reading Joel's comment I realize it's not necessary to share all I've learned which is more in line with what's taught here. So I will take this time to say thank you to all you
  4. I'm confused, is this a trick question? I have always thought I was but it's been pointed out here that I think I'm right with the tone that I'm really wrong. So I've been thinking that Joel, David (ForHimForHer) and TimothyPaul have told me that I broke the covenant a long time ago because I failed to agape love L the way I was supposed to, even though I was unaware that what I was doing was abusive I am guilty. I've heard Joshua on the men's call say the same thing, that I broke the covenant. So I'm thinking, "No", because I broke the covenant. But everything I seem to think is wrong so I gu
  5. It has become very apparent to me, that as a participant in this group, I must agree with everything that j&k say because obviously only j&k have the right answers; that if I believe something different I must be wrong because only j&k, and the helpers here, are right. While I do agree with much of what June wrote she is inaccurate in many of the things she wrote. I never said I didn't like this Scripture just that it is taken out of context because j&k have given it their meaning. I am not blaming L for the divorce. I told her and everyone I know that I was the one res
  6. TimothyPaul, I'm sorry to hear that you are no longer in contact with B. This is really a very judgemental statement. First, it assumes that I would even consider going out with a married woman. Second, it makes it sound as if a woman is not capable of being friends. Third, at my age, 50, any woman that I take out is going to be either divorced or never married, that's not rocket science. As for healing L's heart, I cannot do any more then I'm doing - praying for her and sending her money, aka respecting the boundaries she has set. This is all she wants so this is all there is. My job
  7. TimothyPaul, I'm really glad that you can quote this scripture however it's often used here out of context. If you take some time to read Jewish commentary you will learn that Malachi is stating this because the men were divorcing their wives to marry heathen women for sexual pleasures. You also need to realize that we are in very different circumstances, B is nearby and you still have contact due to younger children and you get to pick up. My children on the other hand are grown and on their own and L is across the country and we have no contact other then hearing from her when she ne
  8. Ladies, thank you so much for your comments. I was sharing with a friend at work who has know me for three years; she agreed that I should not tell L for the same reasons that you bring out, that L might not open her heart. Also knowing L, she is surprised that L has not responded by now and doesn't think she is going to come back and is afraid for me that if she does it will only be because she realizes how hard it is out there. These are the thoughts that are constantly in the forefront of my mind. This is what has kept me from even considering going out with someone. So let me expla
  9. The only time I hear from L, which the majority of the time comes in the form of text messages, is when she has a financial need. I talk to her, and tell her "no problem" with a smile knowing from all my sales training that people can hear a smile on the other end of the phone. If in the exchange of text message about her needs I ask a question of a different subject, expressing care for her, it gets ignored. If I send a text asking her a question about how things are going, showing any interest for her, it gets ignored. When we happen to be on the phone and I try to bring something else up
  10. Well I received a text from L today, "thank you for the check. I would appreciate it if you would stop sending me cards." I just wish I could remember which card I sent with the check so that I know what caused her to feel so defensive. But then again, I guess it really doesn't matter.
  11. Just working on cleaning out the spider webs, doubt, confusion, thinking of greener pastures, from my head. This is all I can do as I am only in charge of me.
  12. Anberlin, Here's what we as men need to learn, women don't think like men and men don't think like women even though men may act like women and respond rather then initiate. It doesn't matter what time the plans were made; a time was planned for and TNY understood that you were meeting in Manhattan at 6:30. Stating is simply making an excuse for not being where you were supposed to be when you were supposed to be there. It's easier to say these were "tentative plans" then to humble oneself and say, "I was wrong!" Tentative plans are what I made in regard to attending a 4th of July par
  13. Anberlin, Your post makes absolutely no sense and is useless for helping you unless one chooses to read your wife's post. Why didn't you explain what you agreed to last night and what you did tonight that has TNY so upset with you??? TNY writes on her thread - I grew up in New York and your excuses will not hold water with me. You and TNY made a plan and YOU FAILED TO FOLLOW THROUGH. When you found out that your folks were not there to honor their word to see you, you should have taken a cab to the nearest train station and taken the train back into the city. The fact that you didn'
  14. Thanks Looney, Sorry things are not going your way. YES IT DOES! I can honestly say that I'm not counting down. I think I was just in this funky, p'issy mood because, as I said, things were not going the way I thought they should. I'm taking each day one at a time knowing that I'm not really in control of what happens but rather I am only in control of myself. I keep thinking about something that was said during a prophetic conference at my church, You have to live for today, for if you live in the past you live in a place of regret and sorrow, if you try to live in the future i
  15. No, I do not blame L for her completing the process in which I drove her to. In one of her very last comments to me she said, "you gave up on our marriage a long time ago as you said, 'I accept this is how it has to be'". So as my mirror she saw me as the one who gave and therefore gave me what she thought I really wanted deep down. Therefore the dissolving of our marriage lies on my shoulders alone.
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