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God Save My Marriage

Mr. Ed

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About Mr. Ed

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  1. It's been a couple weeks since I've posted. My wife and I were out of town for 5 days last week, so this week is "catch up." We're trying to follow our schedule of listening to the phone calls on Monday & Thursday nights and working through the J&K DVDs again on Tuesday nights. Probably my biggest struggle is listening and knowing what I should do, then not doing it or reverting back to the old ways of blaming, defending, and getting angry. There is no doubt I realize those are wrong, but habits of almost 60-years are firmly engrained. I think one key is catching that trigger poin
  2. We started over watching the first J/K DVD afterwards. Frankly, discussion afterwards did NOT go well. Sometimes I wonder if there is hope ahead or not.
  3. We got on a phone call last night for two hours and Dory & Nemo had some great insights. Both challenging and encouraging. We decided to TRY to get on two calls a week plus spend another night going back through the DVDs. I'm also working on the Hegstrom's ANGER book as well as reviewing Joel and Kathy's books. Whew! It's a long ways to go!!
  4. I thought I added this earlier, but apparently it didn't post. Anyways. . .my wife and I were gone this weekend with some friends and had a good time. Last week I ordered a copy of Paul Hegstrom's book on "Anger" and it came while I was gone. I started reading it this AM. That was one of June's suggestion a little ways up, so I want to get started on that.
  5. We were gone for a few days last weekend and had a nice time with some friends. I had ordered a copy of the Paul Hegstrom's "Anger" from Amazon.com and it arrived while I was gone. Started reading it this AM.
  6. I mentioned the speech earlier today, then the other things about a week ago. I thought I'd put them together in one updated list so I'd be sure to focus on all of them. 1. Hugs, real hugs on a regular basis. (7/21/11) 2. Do NOT do service-type things (opening, closing doors, etc.) in public since things are not right at home. If Dottie would like something done, she will ask specifically. (7/21/11) 3. DO the things that are asked of me on the forum and by our friends. Doing exactly what is asked, whether I agree or not, will show that I am willing to walk this path. (7/21/11) 4. After our d
  7. Miss Dottie is going to a play with some lady friends tonight, and I was planning to come to the office and do some work on the forum. I need to get the articles organized in a way that follows the forum so I can refer back to them in order. So I thought I'd do that tonight. But this is just a quick post. Yesterday Miss Dottie pointed out in a couple social situations how I tend to interrupt constantly when I want to say something, but then when I'm interrupted, I get upset and irritated. So I guess this would be a good time to add that to the list. Actually, the Lord has been speaking to me
  8. This is my update per Miss Jane Bennett's request. We actually listened to a phone call for a while last night. Then we had a discussion about some things afterwards which didn't go great, because I got upset and defensive. However, I think we came to a couple good conclusions. Miss Jane asked for some specifics that I can start with so Dottie (my wife) and I picked three. By the time our discussion was over, it became four. Here's what I will be working on as of 7/21/2011: 1. Hugs, real hugs on a regular basis. 2. Do NOT do service-type things (opening, closing doors, etc.) in public sinc
  9. I think this is where I add a reply. If not, I'll get the hang of this soon. I've read my wife's "Very long journey--very discouraged" post. It seems like the big things in my past are: (1) Anger and attitude that goes with it. (2) Verbal abuse on a number of levels, shouting, swearing, putting down, etc. (3) Lack of emotional support. (4) Blaming others for my faults (sins) instead of "owning up" and taking personal responsibility. And it seems like what my wife is saying is, you keep trying to do it YOUR WAY, but your never consider doing the things I ASK FOR! Even the good things I do a
  10. March 8, 2011 Dear Mr. Bingley, We watched another [Joel & Kathy] DVD last night and got into quite a discussion afterwards. One major question was, Am I still involved in pornography and/or having an affair. I told her that though I was involved in pornography years ago (which we have discussed, and which was part of my apology letter) that I’m not now nor am I or have I ever had an affair, physically or emotionally. In fact, I have gone out of my way to be sure that nothing inappropriate ever happens. I have stiff blockers on my computer, and my wife and a man in our church get email
  11. I've been "starting the journey" now for almost 2 months. It has been difficult to "go down" and start pulling out my offenses to my wife, but good! I feel like I really am just starting, but I've noticed a couple things: (1) Facing, confessing, and rejecting my years of abuse on several levels has been freeing. I'm realizing more and more each day the bondage I was under and the bondage I put my wife under. The freedom is starting, but I'm finding that I don't have to react in the old ways, nor do I want to go back to them. (2) I'm trying to put my wife in the forefront of my thoughts and pro
  12. I've been married for over 35 years and have been emotionally immature and selfish the whole time. Problem is. . .I thought I was doing great. I had it figured out that everyone else was wrong. A friend of mine (Mr. Bingley, forum name) faced a crisis in his marriage and became familiar with Joel & Kathy's books. He and his wife (Miss Jane Bennet, forum name) attended a week-end intensive. The change in him was unbelievable! God has done a miracle in their marriage. My wife and I have gone to many counselors through the years, and I went trying to show how she was wrong and I was righ
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