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God Save My Marriage

stillblessed

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About stillblessed

  • Rank
    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  • Birthday November 27

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Colorado
  1. I'm not a helper on here, but thought I might add my two-cents worth. ChooseLove, I've so enjoyed reading a lot of what you've said on here. But I agree with the others- something about that prayer always bothered me. I have never taken the time to figure out why it affected me negatively. But I agree with the others, it does tend to come across as 'holier than thou'. As if you know her problems and how she needs fixed, rather than truly asking for God's will and blessing for her. If I had read that prayer from my husband, I would have been very resistant, resentful, and probably angry. I wou
  2. Oh, it's almost embarrassing how long it's been since I've taken the time to write on here. I'm hoping that after Christmas maybe I'll write a long update. For now, I want to wish a blessed and merry Christmas to all of you!
  3. Wow! What a wonderful blessing - not just financially, but in that God showed Himself as your Husband so awesomely! I love God-stories like this. I've been like you, very neglectful of the forum, because it was so frustrating when it was down so much, and there was little activity to speak of. I know I need to go write a long update, too. Maybe after Christmas. Thanks for sharing this blessing with us, so we can all praise God along with you. Wishing a wonderful Christmas for you and Marissa!
  4. HisSon, that's a beautiful song. I'm glad it brought to your mind how you could pour your heart into my cracks and broken places. Beautiful thought. I also agree with MaryJane's comment, basically that it can only happen if Jesus means the world to you. It's not something that's possible to do without you opening yourself to His love pouring into you, so that you in turn can pour it out to the rest of us. So looking forward to watching this happen more and more.
  5. HisSon, thank you for thinking of and initiating the diploma and flowers. I was very touched by it. Thank you, too, for the apology for not being more helpful and supportive during all those years. It would have been nice to have felt as though we were a team doing it together, rather than opponents - which is how it felt way too often. And to be honest, there's a part of me that says, "Well, an apology now is easy enough. Too bad I couldn't have had more than just a late apology." Thank you, too, for the apology letter. I will get a response written to you one of these days, hopefully.
  6. Oh, no problem, Mary Jane! I know how busy everyone is, and I wasn't really needing any answers or anything. I was basically just venting! I can't believe how long it's been again since I've posted on here. Life got really busy again in April, May, first half of June. I'm starting to feel a bit caught up with stuff now. Just a bit. Things are going relatively well most of the time. HisSon gave me an apology letter the week before the wedding. I haven't responded to it at all, which I need to do. I am going to respond in writing, so I need to just take the time to get that done. Than
  7. We haven't watched that movie yet. Hope to sometime. Thanks for sharing the song "Just Be Held". I hadn't ever heard it before. I like it. I've been there, when I wasn't sure I had enough strength left to hold on to God, yet I knew I could trust He was holding me. Beautiful song.
  8. Understanding and standing with you in wanting a millstone! It's bad enough when we wives have to deal with the ugly stuff in our relationships with our husbands. But when it involves our children, that takes it to a whole other level. When someone damages or takes away the level of innocence a child/teen should be able to have, it is indeed sickening and infuriating. Not innocence in that they don't know anything about sex or what's going on out there in the world, but innocent in that it IS out there in the world, not in our homes, in our lives, and definitely not in their experience. To tak
  9. I do think there is a lot to this statement, as far as why I find it hard to just walk away when he begins twisting my words, playing with meanings, going down rabbit trails, etc. It causes almost a feeling of desperate need to find a solid foundation under the tossing waves of the storm he brews. Somehow, it feels that if I can get him to 'meet' me on that solid foundation, then we could actually have a profitable discussion, and I wouldn't be drowning under the onslaught of his conjured confusion. Of course, IF that ever happens, it's only after hours of useless, non-productive arguing. P
  10. Arguing didn't really happen in my house as a child, except occasionally between me and my sister. Never heard my parents argue. Never could have argued with my dad, because I was too scared of getting in trouble. And seldom needed/wanted to argue with my mom. She was very sweet and loving. I personally hate arguing. But then, I had never known someone like HisSon to whom it is so important to assign blame, whether to others or, if that's not possible, to himself. When blame MUST be assigned in nearly EVERY situation- and when the meanings of words must be settled - and when there is desire
  11. Welcome! I don't know what you mean by using Onlyone as your name, but no longer are you the only one. There are many of us that can relate to parts of your story. You are no longer alone. The forum hasn't been very active lately, but post anyway. Sooner or later someone will answer! MaryJane is staying busy on here. (Thank you, MaryJane!) This is a great place to be able to dump some of the pain, share your story, and know that others understand and support you. Blessings! [smilie=happy.gif]
  12. Oh, you did fine! It was very clear. I recently read an article on http://cryingoutforjustice.comthat spoke about abuse being more like a relational 'cancer' rather than a relational 'common cold'. I really related to that thought. I spent years and years trying to 'fix' the symptoms of our marriage issues, expecting it to go away in a few days/months like the common cold. But his attitude is like a cancer that has invaded nearly ever part of our relationship, and I can't cure it with over-the-counter cold medicine. The common cold rarely kills anyone, but cancer left to grow almost alway
  13. Thank you, Mary Jane and 4evrHZ. It is nice to get responses, even if just a “hi, read your post”. I know how hard it is to find time to write on here, and you guys have your own lives plus lots of others on here to respond to, so it can't be easy for you! I need to remember this more often... It just seems so odd. And, like last evening, when I do let him know, he has some excuse, some reason why he can't or it won't work, some unnecessary statement of fact or point of contention. Seems like he can't simply accept it and say NOTHING. We haven't been on the couple's calls for a
  14. Since the first of the year, I've been keeping a daily journal of how each day has been as far as our relationship goes. Wednesday evening I had opportunity to mention that the journal shows that things have been going “okay” most days, meaning his behavior and attitudes toward me haven't been a problem. But I need more than just good behavior if I'm ever going to feel close to him. I need conversation. Not arguing. SAFE conversation. More than talking about the kids, the weather, and his work. I need a sharing of hearts and minds, a spirit-to-spirit connection. His response was something al
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