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God Save My Marriage

4evrHZdtr3

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About 4evrHZdtr3

  • Rank
    Helper
  • Birthday 09/09/1953

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Grandchildren! Sewing, reading, swimming, fishing, camping, praying, great worship....coffee with my friends! Construction work.. building, repairing, etc...
  1. Hi ChooseLove, I was just poking around here and I read your post #471. As I thought about it I wanted to say that whether a person is in the situation you find yourself or in one like mine- in which I have no one to ever hug me, no one to touch me, and I still have very strong physical intimacy needs, I think the solution is pretty much similar. I have found the most relief by just talking to God about how I feel and even crying alone in His Presence. He comforts me. Sometimes I am not even aware that He has been Present or comforted me but I notice that my neediness and irritability diminish
  2. Ophelia there is a place of peace that you can experience in the midst of this storm. That is where the pray, plan, play advice comes in. A place of accepting that right now Riversedge seems to want to live in his own self-manufactured reality. I think that continually pointing out his abuse and lies when it is clear that he doesn't really want to change- right now- is only serving to hurt you further. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. Can you think of some actions- responses that you can have ready to do or offer when he lies or triangulates. Like just turning and walking out of
  3. Ophelia it's good to document whatever you have documented because it does several things... When we go back and read we can see more clearly what is really happening. We can see the growth we have made and we can remember the things that we wives have learned so well to minimize and sweep under the carpet! It sounds like all the hard feelings you are having may be related to really seeing clearly just how abusive your life has been. Don't be afraid of these feelings or try not to have them. They are a sign that you are beginning to realize what is really important in life and what is true a
  4. Hi MJ, Sorry I didn't see this.. Yes the teaching is a four part series and each is about an hour I think. It was so interesting to me that I played and prayed it all in the first week. Here is something I just got from my friend Christine and well worth looking at: https://beyondbetrayal.community/about/ And here is a great video page of testimonies. The one at the bottom is very much like many of the women in our forum: https://beyondbetrayal.community/videos/
  5. Very insightful words, Ophelia!! This sums up the whole problem in a nutshell and it's about identity. When our identity is in Christ we are able to put aside these other substitutions! Expressing the problem this way shows you how to pray as well. Until Christ be formed in us!
  6. ChooseLove, I hope you listen to this. I loved it so much that I listened to all four hours and have just had such an amazing shift in my understanding of God. And relationships. And everything else I already knew.
  7. And also, I like that you are getting braver! I like that you are seeing that you need those touches and that Zed is seeing it too! This looks like some progress to me!
  8. HA! I just now saw this, MJ.. What a great idea!! Yes, this "word" should be delivered! If you haven't already...
  9. Here is some GOOD preaching! This is the understanding I have been looking for. i have had to stop and restart this multiple times because it says so much... but in a nutshell it explains why marriages go south! Worth all the time you might give this...
  10. This is all good! For some reason I feel led to post this old Rodgers and Hammerstein song for you. Don't really know why but sit down with the Lord and let Him minister to you as you listen, OK?
  11. HI MJ, I don't think you actually have to help Zed cultivate more sensitivity.. just don't do all the work for him.. and up to now it has been important that you do it just the way you have been because you have been asserting yourself, loving yourself and finding yourself instead of getting lost in intimidation. So... I think that if you just have a little talk with him and tell him that you would like him to think about things sometimes instead of you just cooking, serving and cleaning up.. you'd like him to do some of the cooking and serving.... does this analogy fit for you?? Zed sound
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