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God Save My Marriage

llama2112

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About llama2112

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  1. I see what you're saying, and I agree. However, I don't agree with enabling cruddy behavior. The way i see it, making myself a doormat wasn't doing a darn thing other than showing my wife that it is entirely possible for me to grow. Which I intend to continue doing. She just kept right on flirting in front of me, snapping at me, calling me names, and berating me (in public, all of these things). If I recall Jesus knew when to remove himself from the picture. If my wife wasn't getting it, and I felt that I needed to be away from it in order to be whom I'm supposed to be in the first place (impl
  2. It's been awhile since I've updated here, a lot has happened since. My wife and I have been spending much more time together. Sometimes running errands together, and other times just driving around looking for things to do. She's been pretty warm to me lately, she even reffered to me as "mi amor", something I've not heard from her for quite some time. Well, here it is. My wife came to me one night, and apologized for everything she's been doing "All I can say is, I'm sorry." verbatim. I've been praying as of late that God would work on her heart, and turn her back toward him. She told me t
  3. Well, I suppose this is the time to test my faith and devotion to this then... My wife has cut contact with me. First time she's done this since things got real bad four months ago. She told me that she's trying to "get over" me, implying such a thing has ever been done in a marriage situation before... Anyway, we went out a couple of nights ago to sing in a Karaoke contest. Long story short, she ended up drinking, ran into an old co-worker, and left me at the table by myself, to hang off of this other guy at the bar, even kissing him... Awesome... Thing is, we've been out like that before, co
  4. Yes... a thousand times yes... I just don't know how to do it... What am I doing wrong? What am I not doing that's correct? I'm still learning to love unconditionally... I'm new to this.
  5. It certainly was not worth challenging her. Sometimes I just let my frustration get the best of me, and it seems to just come from this idea that things are supposed to be better, and arguments aren't supposed to be how they are. Sounds like controlling nature to me When will it die? I know I shouldn't instruct, she's told me that she doesn't want that. My question at that point becomes: What am I to do when she tells me about how she feels like she's "out of control", and "confused". When she tells me that she feels far from God, and more alone then she ever has been. Doesn't lo
  6. Well I had an interaction with my wife last night. We were on our way to a birthday party of a good friend of my her roommate. Now here is where I feel I've been challenged lately... My wife has a tendency to be very overcritical. I feel most of the time I can can remain very patient, but there are moments when I challenge my wife out of frustration to show me how she figures. For instance, the plan last night was that she would be picked up by her roommate, and then I would meet them over there after I got out of work. So I figured I'd have some time to go straight from work, to my home to ch
  7. Thanks for being understanding guys... Yes that was a vent. Shortly after i wrote that, I composed an apology for her, and posted it on my facebook (not specifically addressed to her) the apology is as follows: All I can say is I'm sorry... There is no more room for excuses, and I won't make any. I'm not sure how else I can show you that this is the case... I'll let my actions prove for me, the desire to love you where you're at. whether it's a valley, or the peak of the mountain. I will go to you, and prove your worth for you, no longer should you feel the need to strive for acceptance. The
  8. Well... I've screwed up... She called me tonight after having a date with someone, let me know that it went well. Apparently the person took her to Olive Garden, which is great because I can't afford to do that for her, don't have any money! Good to know I'm in a position where I can actually compete... At least she let me know that she feels like she's dealing with a bunch of little boys, and that only one of them seems to be showing growth toward becoming a man (hint: it's me). But that's okay, it makes total sense to feel like calling me after a date with someone else, and then fall
  9. Thanks a bunch guys! Well, I spoke with my wife the night that we went to her sister's birthday. It was before the actual gathering. she had asked me to pick some of her things up for her so we could leave right after I picked her up from work, and go straight to the party. Thing is, she asked me to bring her a nice dress that she'd left hanging up in the closet in my apartment, and a nice pair of flats for her. She's been leaving things in the apartment lately, so I knew which shoes she was talking about. However, my wife has a tendency to change her mind on the fly, when it comes to asking
  10. I think what I need to work on is (obviously) listening to my wife's heart and learning to properly interpret her behavior. Another thing I know I need to work on is to truly listen to her heart. She told me the other night "It's really confusing because I really miss this with you (She had invited me to stay the night with her a couple of nights ago, after cancelling a previous engagement with another person). I miss waking up with you, and being held by you, and I miss being intimate with you... It's just confusing because I've spoken with some people and they ask me 'is it worth saving? Do
  11. Is this true? My wife seems to show ambivalence. Yet I see her react in similar ways to spsuds wife. How do you figure?
  12. Minor update. I've noticed that my wife tends to become overcritical of me when she's been talking to other guys. (I can tell by what and how she says things, I've been watching the patterns for three months now) Anyway. I texted "good night you! Sleep well. :)". She responded almost immediately. "I'm getting annoyed." I told her "Sorry... I'll back off, I just wanted to say goodnight.". Then she sent "Not with you." I asked her what was troubling her. She didn't respond. I texted her "Call me if you feel comfortable. I'm here for you." She responded "I know". I'm probably just over thinking
  13. Rest assured everyone, I know why I'm doing this. A paradigm shift such as this is not something that can be taken less than seriously. But there in lies my struggle. I've only just begun this journey, and though I feel I've grown much in so little time already, It doesn't change the fact that I'm completely knew to this. This causes so much stress on the flesh, I would've thought last year that going through something like this would have resulted in a trip to the psyche ward. But God is good! He's given me an immense amount of grace through this whole struggle, and I know he will continue to
  14. Also wanted to give an update. Recently I find that I've been putting a lot of emphasis on what she does, but I feel this is because it is an encouragement to me. I take the positive things as hope, and the negative things (like bf's) with a grain of salt. I'm not going to lie. She recently asked me if I've ever met anyone who "rocked my world," I told her, "Well yes, but it usually takes some time to determine these things..." I knew she was referencing some guy she's hung out with a couple of times. I'm not going to lie, i don't understand how she can hang out with a guy at a bar t
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