passion4one

This is passion4one I was talking about my relationship with 1love, the continual pointing out the chair I didnt push in all the way, the drawer that I didnt close all the way and tonight it was you said you were putting the dishes away. I emptied the dishwasher and part of what was on the counter but not all of them, that wasnt good enough. Tonight after supper she retreated to the bedroom to read a book. They came up yesterday trying to kiss and hug her was really not be accepted, i tried to hold her hand on the way to bible study it was all one way, I was touching her, she didnt pull away but she did not engage my hand. Maybe she has a reason for responding this way I dont know or understand. So no there was no plans for being romantic, we tried to snuggle but it was lik a lot of effort and there was no response back just tolerating me............I cant go on like this. Not sure what she is expecting out of me I work hard to try to provide and we are sinking financially. I am not feeling that great health wise from all the stress.

Well been a long time since much happened here..........I see a pattern developing and not sure what way we are headed. A few weeks back we both said we had had it with each other..........each time we go thru rough times we seem to get that way........I am starting to lose the sight of really getting there if this is how or relationship is going to be. I find part of me wanting to resent her. I never seem to be good enough or I am doing something that appears so bad that I feel stupid at times. I dont know that I am ready to live up the the continual expectations of what she demands......... Just a lot of thinking and praying to do.

This has been a long week with my nose surgery the 20's were pretty difficult especially for the first day or 2 but we have had some times to snuggle this week. She had been more than kind and understanding as I told her I am a wimp when it comes to surgery and dealing with the pain and discomforts. We have enjoyed the ballroom dance classes each week and it allows us some good talk time both ways. 1Love shared with me that our doing this together is making her smile inside which is something she needs a lot more of. She will have a busy Saturday going to Chicago area for a shower that will take up most of the day so we have a date this Sunday evening at our favorite pizza place. I have been working on more hskc's as I recover from my nose surgery had a good night last night snuggling with my beautiful wife.

1Love mentioned the playful text from Monday this week, she had a trying experience picking up some meds for me so I am still waiting to find out the full extent of what I owe here. I am expecting it to be fun paying my dues to her. We had a good day today not as many 20s this morning before leaving for work but it was a good morning. I worked over on a special project that needs to be finished by Friday only i will only be there tomorrow morning before I take off for surgery. She took the kids to youth tonight along and had an uncooperative phone that left her in a frustrating situation trying to find a gas station so i am looking forward to when she gets home to make here evening as pleasant as possible. I still need some major reform in my listening and not interrupting in addition to my excuses, although I have some good concepts on the excuses and with my surgery I will have time to meditate on those problems. My goal is a happy wife.

We had a good day yesterday they had gotten tied up in getting to work house so I took the opportunity to work over some and still got here before them. I warmed up supper and had everything about ready when they got here. I helped her with some of the clean up and we had a very good evening last night that was the topic of or drive on the way home tonight. Tonight was our 2nd dance class I was on the phone when we left so she dove,,,,,,,,,,,,, and i missed the chance to bless here by driving. I did drive on the way home though. We had some good conversation on the drives. I was doing good on the 20's early in the day but missed a lot of opportunities tonight to get more in. I fixed here popcorn tonight one of her favorite snacks. I will work on more 20's tonght.... She still has here pretty roses in front of her computer.

Had another great evening last night watched a movie together and since I didn't have to work today we got to actually sleep in. Lots of 20's last night and today so far. We will be starting and adventure that she wanted to do next week as we are signed up for a ballroom dancing class that she has been pushing me to do for quite a while. We had discussed it earlier this year but we missed the start date. We have had some good family interaction and 2 of our children invited us to the Good Friday service at their church so we are going to take them up on that and enjoy spending a night of worship with them. Although one son is working in the fields with a farm service so he is not sure he will get off in time to make it. Where is everyone else that is in the contest.......................

We have been back on track this week it has been a long short week......LOL working long hours at work and it is a short week, but very busy for me. I am doing pretty good with the 20's I think and trying to make sure I don't come home too tired to do anything although a time or 2 I have taken short power naps to refresh. I am keeping the love of my life happy and loving doing it. I surprised her with flowers last Friday night after we got home and had unloaded the cars of luggage and groceries. Still trying to figure out what our weekend will include we seem to always be over scheduled with things that we cant really not do on weekends......

Not a lot going on here when 1love got home late Sunday evening we were both exhausted by the time we got to bed which was well after when I should have been there. I was sidetracked on a computer that crashed trying to fix it for the children and was trying a fix when she came in the first time and didnt notice her. I knew they had gotten in but no one had came in yet so after missing her I went out to find her but the damage was already done. We talked about it that night but didn't get it completely resolved. We were both still exhausted Monday so I did not stay at our work home but went back home. I had finally pulled over at a rest area, which I needed to take a break long before that, for a few minutes rest. She was actually at her mothers so when I walked in along with 1love and her mother was her brother and wife along with our oldest son. So somewhere in greeting everyone I missed 1love why I have no Idea. So another bad for me, I got home before her and when I kissed her as she came in i questioned in my mind if I had kissed her hello at her mothers but didn't say anything at the time. It seems since she got back I have been on a roll but the wrong one for sure. Pretty aggravated with myself for missing so many things. I think we are finally both rested up so tonight has been better but I still feel like I am not where I should be............puzzled with this feeling. I love my beautiful bride though and have let her know that every chance i get.

Ok I checked the picture I sent her of the made bed so I will guess she saw the big red card, that she got for me, that I put on my pillow, and thought it was the pillow, but my red pillow is at the other house...... With her gone on this trip I had mentioned that it would be harder to get the 20's in and she said i would have to get creative. Ok, so on the men's call last night I mentioned I was thinking of sending her flowers and they all said don't think about it do it. So after looking at the available flower shops and the delivery charge I knew they pass by shop sometime if not almost every day. So I checked with my sister in law if she would be able to pull off my surprise off. Then called the flower shop and ordered the bouquet and worked out a plan to have her ask my sister in law about this name and have it be 1love to surprise her, and to double the surprise after she got the bouquet then I got a plant for my sister in-law as a surprise for her for helping with my setup. Then I called sister in-law and told her the set up or part of it anyway. So later that day she takes 1love by this floral shop to look at their gift shop and so the plan unfolded from there, first 1love was surprised then the sister in law. The report I got is that 1loves face turned red. .......I got her. So I had a good day with succeeding at my plan. I assume she will report on here too. I have been with techs the last 2 days at work but managed to get in several text and phone calls. I will be looking forward to them getting home but I think their schedule for this trip will be too late Sunday for a date. but we can still snuggle........

I think this is the first time I left work due to weather and power went out so what I could do got really limited fast, Murphy's Law , as I got out of my car at our work house the IT guy calls me with a question on an error on one of the UPS systems....power had just came back on.... It has been good being home for so long. She fixed a great supper that everyone complimented. I was ordering some stuff on the computer so I think she feels deserted tonight but then I worked on several problems on here computer and seem to have them resolved. The 20's have not been as high as they could have been but the night is not over yet..... Even had a lot of interaction with our 2 children that are here. I am working on keeping her happy i am blessed to have a Godly wife like 1Love....

I was on tonight to make pizza which we made together she helped prepare the toppings and made a salad. While the dough was rising I took her away to ask how her day was yesterday and then tonight she had gotten up really late Monday evening so we never took time to talk but made up for it tonight. So after supper I was getting ready to get on the call and she stopped me and brought me a giant valentines card that she had found for me. I usually don't get too excited about cards and we had a busy schedule so she had not found one for valentines so she found one and made a big presentation to me in front of the kids. It has been good with lots of passion and 20's.

I apologized for my behavior of Friday night to both the kids and 1love on Saturday morning. The rest of the day was a crazy day that ended way too late. And we discussed it more on Sunday. I hate it when I do stupid things and blow it. But making up is always fun..................

Today started out early but we had a good morning as I got up and off to work. I had a wonderful breakfast and got in a lot of the 20's this morning leaving her in a good place as I left for work. It was a busy day but i still got to text her a few times. We started a project today at 3pm and had just gotten a good start when she called with the disturbing news that she had just gotten. I normally work till 5 and would have worked to 6 with this started normally but I knew the desperation in her voice and let her know that I would be home as soon as I could. Before I would have put work ahead of home but I am slowly changing my life long way of putting work before home. The other guy I was working with continued to work later after I left, I would never have left someone in the past. When I got back to my office I called to let her know I was close to leaving, and yes I did feel her out on if I stayed to help and even though she told me that it was OK, I knew it wasn't so I left for home anyway. First thing when I arrived were some kisses and hugs and I told her she looked gorgeous, that supper smelled good but she smelled better with her perfume on. I finished setting things for supper and served up the main course. After supper we immediately started dishes together and have everything washed and dried and put away. Then I had to crash and take a short nap. We still need to talk tonight when we can get alone. I love my beautiful wife.

I started valentines day with fixing breakfast while she fixed food for a potluck at church, lots of 20's while we worked together. Afterwards I was getting ready putting on a new shirt and tie that she had gotten for me along with dress pants for going to church, I tried on my suit coat but that didn't really go with the pants. But she put on a smile and I thought maybe we wouldn't make it to church but since she plays the piano that would be hard for her to not show up. We had a great time at the church dinner we worked together getting the food she brought ready to serve getting more 20's in as we worked. It had snowed Sunday morning and the roads were a mess on the way home so i was driving slow all the way home although I did slip up once. While on interstate where they had cleared the snow I had accelerated on a bridge that brought back bad memories of a spin that she had done in our van on a bridge with the children which scarred her really bad so I had to apologize for taking her back to that bad place. I had wanted to make pizza for our valentines date night but was given very specific directions not to take time to do that so I had gotten the best frozen pizza for our evening. We had a movie planned so I fixed the pizza and brought it up to our bedroom for our private dinner date. I got dressed back up into the clothes that she liked so well and added the suite coat. We had a very good time eating and talking but the the movie turned out to be a frustration with the internet not cooperating to play the movie. But we still had a good evening late into the night. She was very happy the next morning as she has posted about earlier this week. I don't think I can remember her being this happy before. I am determined to keep her the happiest woman in the world, at least in my house.

She already talked about last night and dinner. After dishes were done we looked at the list of activities she had found for our 35th wedding anniversary trip we are planning. Sunday night we booked the hotel, last night we picked out the list of things we are going to do with more to look at tonight. We are taking care of several bucket list of things she has wanted to do. Train trip to New Orleans, evening dinner cruise on an old paddle boat with a jazz band, a coach ride around French Quarters, and who knows what all we will end up doing while there. Things were great last night was on the call till late. We had time for lots of 20's. Today was a long day where I was busy all day not able to do much texting as most of the day was in rubber gloves cleaning gunky ink. But I managed to get a few text in and a call. With it being such a nice day out on the way home from work talking with 1love I ask if what she had panned for supper and it wasnt yet so I suggested grilling out some chicken breast to go with the leftovers we had. That was welcomed so when i got home we worked together on dinner. I prepped the chicken and then headed out to the grill after plenty of hskc's . So to amuse her while i was cooking chicken on the grill I made a snowman (creature) for here on the table on the deck which of coarse she had to take pictures of and more pictures as i tended the chicken and added items to the snow creature. Supper was great already dried the dishes and started the dishwasher for the rest of the dishes. She is smiling tonight so things are going well. Time for me to get on the call early and keep the fun going with my love.