John Broken

Anyone still post on here?

The only difference this time that I see is her still having feelings, even said she still cares and loves him. But just a few weeks ago we were truly "us" and we both agreed. She would say she hates herself for treating me this way, putting me through this and that she should be so thankful for having a man willing to keep her through this. I told her not hate herself, that i put her in this situation by not cherishing her and keeping her first in my heart etc. I don't want her to feel the guilt of all this. I've told her I'm the more guilty one and now we have something to forgive in both of us and we can use it to love even stronger.

Hello Marry Jane! Thanks, you hardly said anything but said everything really! I'm trying to not react / respond. I know that's not my role. Like you said I know what the answer is, to simply love her where shes at like Looney always said. I just need someone to talk to and hear the truth again. Thanks

Ok looks like I'm able to login from my default browser. Something must be wrong with my Google chrome then.

Check check. Trying from phone....

Hello, is anyone here? Are my posts getting through? Im having problems logging in so I dont know if my posts are making it through.

She says shes the bad one doing this to me, to God, knows she was wrong meeting and pursuing him while married etc. etc. Shes tormented I know. But she seems like two different people all the time. One moment shes "all us" and I know it. Then the ext moment I dont know her, shes "all him". I just dont know how to processs it all, its driving me insane. I kow its not about me, but I just need help how to process all this while we are in this nightmare. I know the answer is just love her where shes at, but then theres moments where I look at her and feel hatred for her betraying me, but I have no right, Ive betrayed her and been worse. I just dont know how to cope.

Hello all, first of all sorry for not keeping this thread updated. Second can someone figure out why I cant login in on my phone. im on the pc right now and it works. But when I login the same way on my phone it seems to accept my login process but it doesnt show me logged in or let me post etc. Third, for a while it seemed we were making progress and things where working out. And like joel said, it got harder for me to sustain and I gradually slipped into doing things I wanted like gaming more on the phone etc. I didnt fall back into verbal or physical abuse (never been physically abussive), but more neglectish, and she felt it. But I admit I slipped into selfishness again. But as stress would come she would make comments like "this is why it would be better if we divorced, etc." But then later say she was just upset. Now she says shes been living a lie and still loves other. Cant stop thinking about him. She believes he keeps posting memes secretly to her and she says he must really care if he is still hanging on this long. I cant tell it flatters her. So everyday now shes reading memes and looking for all the clues hes leaving her etc. Its like they are having a relationship but not directly. She says hes afraid to be direct because of legal reasons. Says she cant live like this because she knows its wrong, she feels horrible but as long as she only sees him in a good light and never really gets to know him she will always be trapped feeling for him. They stopped contact way back then at the hight of their "romance" and she says thats all she sees. I told her me and her live in the real world with all its stress and struggles and all my known faults and hurts etc. But she says she cant change how she feels. (But there have been many times lately where I know we were growing and she even says so, that she loves me but hates herself for still having feelings for other. Says shes prayed for God to take it away. Ive tried to kindly tell her God cant if she keeps points of contact with him. Shes always kept him friended, text messages and posting on pinterst etc. Says she needs to get closure with him , needs to talk it over with him etc. But can that work? Says she has to get rid of these feelings by realizing hes not what she thinks. I just dont see how that can work.

I need to learn better to not respond to how she is responding to me daily. I keep trying to read "where" she is at with me. She has been so distant lately but today she came home and got in bed with me and shared a lot as i listened even though i had to sleep for work, but i chose to be there for her unlike the past! We hugged and kissed like everything is perfect. I was shocked. It was great. But its hard for me to put much on it because tomorrow can be like she's gone again. I guess she's just fighting her way through the messy place I have brought her to. She's amazing, at times i can see her fighting for us STILL even though she's still hearing and feeling RUN! I hate myself for seeing her so vexxed because of what I created. I'm so thankful I still have the chance and opportunity to bless and heal her one more day.

TP thx for that link! So true. CL, I would love to join the calls but simply can't ... barely making ends meet as it is.

You bride is a blessed woman now! May God keep you and yours Amen!

Tony, thank you so much! God is using your example in a mighty way! Such an inspiration. Thank you for your strength and obedience. You have proved His good and perfect will. Gives me so much hope! Thank you. P.S. I doubted your walk at times but kept watching....you walked by faith rather than sight. Kudos my brother thank you!!

Not only am I in my own pain and confusion of feeling the emotional distancing taking place between us but now I have to watch her suffer and be tormented by him. What a heavy hand of God that makes us behold the consequences of our sins!!!

I don't know up from down anymore. One minute she says things that are all us. Next minute talking like she's all him. She's said she's in over her head, trapped, going crazy. God please help us. What have I wrought????

Please pray for us. He's mentioned casting spells etc. It all feels very evil please pray. Feel I'm going insane.