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God Save My Marriage

HisSon

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About HisSon

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. CL that is great, I know I have seen it before, but I keep need to remind myself, thanks for reminding me, Keep up the good work both of you, and remember, we are not in this battle alone.
  2. Thanks MJ, I need to remember this important fact also, putting myself down is still being self centered, which is still focusing on ME, rather than my wife, how I can bless and love her. I am sure this is a big problem with all passive men.
  3. I understand where you are coming from and agree with you. I am not sure I agree with what Jason wrote. I will need to think and study on it. Because of financial reasons I have gotten off the men's call, but am on couples call now and then. Work has been slow this winter. We need to move and are in the middle of buying a home, you know how many "unexpected" costs can come with a real estate purchase. Keep up the good work, and bless the socks off your wife.
  4. PLEASE, be careful. I am not familiar with Jayson Gaddis but this sounds, on the surface, like a secular psychiatrists response, sorry if I am wrong. I am not questioning if this is right or wrong, and I appreciate the way you responded. Here is my concern, this could be used to justify, our not “pulling our heads out”' and getting self out of the way so we can love our wives in the way Christ would. Remember if a husband gets into an affair it is because he isn't getting himself out of the way and putting others (his wife and children) first and if a wife gets into an affair it is because
  5. I had an interesting experience last Sunday evening, Stillblessed was planning to go to a Hymn sing at one of the churches in town, I didn't really want to go but since she was going I decided to go with her because I wanted to be with her . The singing was really inspiring, the people showed a lot of spirit in their singing . There was a local men's quartet that sang several songs, also in addition to the normal piano and organ they had several other instruments including drums and guitars. I was a little surprised I enjoyed the singing so much, it is not really my type, but God has surpris
  6. I realize I have not been on here recently, so an update is in order. Stillblessed and I went to Ouray CO. for a weekend the last weekend in January, spent 2 nights there. It is a little town in sort of a box canyon about 35 miles south of here, elevation about 7800 ft. They have several hot springs there, in fact the city pool (outdoor) is open year around and supplied with water from one of the hot springs. The motel we stayed at has 2 hot tubs and a pool, all fed by hot springs, one hot tub is inside the others are outside. There was a major snow storm while we were there so we went no wher
  7. Thanks 4evr, I like what you said about "a moment by moment basis", It is really a one step at a time, one foot in front of the other walk isn't it. But then life is that way in general. When we try to take care of things before we get to them it doesn't work well. Like the old saying, "don't cross that bridge till you get there". As an example, I have a job tomorrow that has me uneasy, I have bad feelings about it and could stew and worry about it but that is only Focusing on myself, keeps me from being the husband and father that God is calling me to be and doesn't help the job situation at
  8. Traits of the Passive-aggressive man: in, ministry to couples who are working together to build an Outrageously Happy marriage by Giving Hope posted 03 May 2010 - 10:30 AM I just read this post today, I don't know if I have read it before but it really hit this time. Most if not of the traits fit me at least a little. I can see me in most of them. I don't really know what to do but I can understand a little of what Stillblessed has had to deal with. I feel very defeated and overwhelmed with it all. I know I have improved some in many areas but have a long way to go. I see many of these “fea
  9. Erik, your posts always make me think. Those men are probably feeling guilty and know deep inside that Joel and Kathy are right, but to accept it, will mean they will need to change and grow up. That is hard on a man's ego and it hurts a lot. It is easier to attack what is bringing the pain than go through it. The fallen nature of man DEMANDS that we defend ourselves. When we become followers of Christ we MUST learn to step above that and listen to those who are trying to help us. The first of these is Christ (through His Spirit) but right in there with Him is my wife. My flesh wants to act
  10. CL, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond. I ordered "Choose Yourself" in both the audio and the Kindle versions from Amazon. I had trouble getting the audio version to work, but I think I have figured it out. I could get it to work on the computer but had trouble with my phone and mp3 player. I wanted to listen to it on the road. I think it will be a help, as I said I am OCD and have trouble with fear, mostly of failing. I have visited his web site so I know some of what he teaches. Had a great Christmas, we had 2 Christmas eve services at church, was good but cold. You folks in the east,
  11. Erik, This hit me, I tend to see the bad in everything, so I need to go back and rethink my view and how I am reacting (internally) to every situation. I am not just speaking about my marriage (although that is important) but every aspect of my life. My job, my finances, the way my children respond to me, and health issues, to mention a few things. It would be helpful for me to not dwell on my problems, but on my blessings, many people have life a lot worse than I do. Thanks for bringing me to my senses, you never know when you write something, who, and how, it will be of benefit. God prompt
  12. This is where I am because I will be 59 in Feb.. I am fearful, because we have rented all of our married life so we have no equity and no house of our own, also no retirement money. All we have to look forward to is social security, at this point. I know this is being fatalistic but it is where we are. This sounds like a good idea but it also sounds like a ridicules undertaking because of my age (I will be 59 in Feb). The job I have pays okay in the summer when I can work over 50 hours per week, which pays the bills and enough to get caught up by winter, but not enough to put much aside for
  13. Thanks Erik, What you have said has made me really think, as all of your posts do. I can see that there are other options than what I have been seeing and God can bring good from everything.
  14. I must have true sorrow for the pain I have caused my wife to unlock the hollow, but only after I build trust in her will the key work. This has been a nutty summer, went to Indiana for Stillblessed's mom's funeral, have been working late nearly every day the last several weeks, now we are getting a taste of the empty nest as our 2 youngest (only ones still at home) went to Florida with their older sister and family for 2 weeks. The kids are less hassle for us than all the animals they left here for us to "baby sit". As for marriage situation, all seems good to me, I haven't heard much oth
  15. When I heard this song I thought about how powerful the idea of pouring my heart into my wife where I have broken her heart is. That is just what my LORD did for me, so if I am to be Christ-like I must get my self out of the way so I can pour my heart into her rather than into myself. Lord, help me to put more and more effort into learning where she is hurting, to find the cracks and broken places.
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