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God Save My Marriage

My Hope Is In Him

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About My Hope Is In Him

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. Well, it is approaching 2 years post divorce. Since there was a RO in place, I never could contact my EX for anything. That was lifted 02/09/15, but I have not attempted any contact. I did have some contact with my daughter and there was healing at Christmas time last year. God be praised, as in February 2014, I was delivered of some hangups I had had since I was 8. I spent the remainder of my time in California healing and decided last year to move to Las Vegas to start over. At a point, I regained some emotions that had been completely shutoff and now I am happy and rounded. I wil
  2. I am going to repost this as it is a also applies to me. I have some buried ANGER that became a toxic cesspool. I am needing to deal with this as well as HD with Eeyore. Too bad my wife is not here to help and to receive healing herself. I pray still for her daily. You STILL haven't told us what you're angry about... I just saw Eeyore's note while I was typing this, and I'm not going to just repeat "die to yourself and bless your wife"... You're misinterpreting what that means! Some guys on here are told that, and they interpret it as "I need to deny the fact that I'm feeling a
  3. Sigh, if ONLY I had seen this in August.. This was a great post by a member who apparently is not here any more dealing with anger. http://forums.godsavemymarriage.com/index.php?/topic/1000-the-donkey-the-delorean-eeyore-herdensity/page-72&do=findComment&comment=67087 I forgot I had ordered a Hegstrom book via the Library until today. Maybe I need to hold on page 72 and read for the next week or so....
  4. Where in California are you from? (It was 25 here today) Thanks for your encouragement.
  5. LT, I have thought about the apology letter while reading the HD/Eeyore thread. I cannot send the letter to my wife per the RO. The judge discounted her request for support as there is not enough difference in our income. He requested mediation for settlement of assets and continued to already scheduled hearing on 03/05/14. Pending no other obstacles, that is the final hearing of dissolution. You are correct, I don't really understand her pain. We were happy and laughing on 08/10/13 and then on 08/16/13 she was gone. I want to feel her pain, and yet today I am simply numb with no
  6. I was served with TRO, request for support and divorce all in one lump sum on 11/04. She had been in another state, and after finding I was attending another church, she came back to CA in late Oct. Apparently she filed as soon as she could.... I attended hearing on TRO on 11/21 and the RO was made perm for 1 year, as I lost my request to not grant the RO. The hearing tomorrow is regarding support, and I am not sure where the divorce is in all this. I did file my assets/debts. What is the best way to contact Joel tomorrow?
  7. Hi MaryJane, Thanks for your response. I have lurked long enough her to realize that I am the key to my wife's pain. Yes, I caused this with anger, neglect and UN-Love. I am at a loss on what to do to gain her heart back except pray for her blessing. I attempted to hire an attorney after losing with the RO and found the bill will be ..... $4500. The attorney said he could help if I paid him $1000, then after I paid him said he cannot help me undo the RO. I am representing myself and was advised to ask for continuance so I can properly answer with a brief. I have a straw created
  8. The current situation is that I have a RO with NO contact. The contact by emails was fruitless and I was going to stop responding. I was told that I needed to answer the last set of accusations. So I responded and no response from her until the Sheriff was banging on my door with papers. I am trying to forgive her for filing the papers, and felt I was forgiving for the previous 3 months of only accusations from her. I was told by someone "perhaps she needs the divorce at this time." It is a new set of pain and confirms what I feared that this will take more than a year to settle.
  9. I did not completely shut down and say nothing. My friend had anger issues and told me he shuts down when angry. About 6 weeks ago, I related this mistake and he said he does not shut down, he prays when angry..... opps bad timing to find THIS out. I was a volcano in the home and vented on my wife often in anger. That would be top problem #1. I realize now this and the issue was deep down blaming her for my problems (time to grow up...) Her emails were fixated on finding if I had other partners or another woman. When there was repentance, she did not accept it and did not give me a
  10. Thanks for the response LT, I have read Abuse/Power/Control and also found the Writings by Joel on Self Gratification enlighting. I will go over the 20 abuse areas (what brought me to this site), but find 3 that stand out. I ordered AMATWWLT from Hastings tonight. 5. Humiliation: and 17. Intimidation; I have not been kind to my wife in public. 20. Silence: I was silent for about a week or more before my wife left. I have tried for 5 years to advance on my debt. I took AMEX from $52000 to $27000 and spent so much time working, I was not paying attention to anything else. I had
  11. (2nd try as board erased the first attempt) I am 49 years old and married for 28 years. My wife left me in August after finding porn in my web history. I had anger issues and after reading much in the last 3 months find I was the problem. My problem of me is compounded with Papers served including Restraining Orders. It is a bleak Christmas this year. I have repented of the porn and have Covenant Eyes blocking both Facebook and YouTube. I have drawn very close to God and until 2 weeks ago felt there was hope. My wife brought up in open court pain that was simply NOT true from 2
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