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God Save My Marriage


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About HumbledB4God

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  • Birthday 04/09/1962

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  1. OK. July 1 to the present to get over the injury of an emotional adultery is insufficient. No more to say about that. As to the rest, I wish J&K were here! I strongly suggest that you book an intensive, and as soon as possible. In Christ, John
  2. What did your wife mean by this? You will have to decide how serious you are about being christ-like. It can't depend on your wifes behavior. As far as your wife using bad language to describe you, well I have cussed my own husband out big time when I was venting. At least I did it to his face. Are you on these boards to find an excuse to get out of the program by letting everybody know how bad your wife is? What is your motivation? Ditto, and now you are the one who cuts to the core of the issue! In Christ, John
  3. You are left with explaining what happened about going "elsewhere for some action." You object to your sister-in-law fornicating in your home but it sounds as if you have committed some form of adultery. Also your wife needs to see you be consistently Christlike. This may sound unreasonable, but you should look at it as a test from the Lord to ensure that you're not dropping into further sin. Does "back to square one" have to do with adulterous behaviors or the way you treat her. I would also say that you have to definitely stand against fornication in your home so that your wife kn
  4. Don't be ashamed. My answer was the same as yours but with more words. I have to watch it because I write long answers and I risk being the one who becomes known a fool because of many words. In Christ, John
  5. This guy is a baby. He is worse than an unbeliever. He chumped his first wife on Child Support, and the second one too. He throws fits when things don't go his way. He says that the "word didn't say that married couples should tell personal things to a 3rd person." NONSENSE! We are to confess our sins to one another. Isn't that in the Bible? Why yes, it's in James 5:16. Does this man think that his refusal to support his own kids from his first wife isn't sinful? What about his blowing up at the wife with whom he's supposed to be Christlike? Christlikeness would dictate that
  6. Do you know how to check your browser history? Would your husband object if you pur a Christian surfing filter on the computer at home? These things record all sites visited and then send a report to someone you trust (like YOU) showing where he's surfed. In Christ, John
  7. I would say that any objections you lodge need to be done gently. It also sounds as if the situation has degraded since J&K gave their initial advice. Your wife is caught in a trespass, that of condoning fornication in your home. If you wish to restore her, you need to do so gently and not stumble in doing it (Galatians 6:1). Since your daughters are being corrupted my advice would be that you gently speak to your wife 1-on-1. You need to reaffirm your love her her, and that you would give yourself up for her at will. But you are not required to give up obeying the Lord. This iss
  8. I'll mow the lawn tomorrow and get it looking good and then I'll get her a Starbucks gift card since she loves that. I'll also frame up a picture of her late mom. Sorry to say that she is not in Christ right now, and I feel responsible for that. John
  9. This is correct! Amen!! When you let the Lord work in you because you are made to Glorify God, and not just to retrieve a marriage you broke, you will find yourself changing in ways that your wife will see with her eyes. This has been the hardest thing for me. Every day I pray, offering myself in submission to His Will. Every day, there is something that the Holy Spirit brings up to me that I need to work on to be more submitted to Him. Today, I awoke this morning to deal with severe cash flow problems in my business. The web sites upon which my company literally runs need to be paid
  10. I am working to win my wife's heart back. J&K suggest a small, tangible gift each week in addition to Christlike conduct in all other things. I want to do something meaningful for her. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks John
  11. She may still need past pay stubs in order to calculate budgets and the like. Lawyers use this information to determine spousal support requests. She probably needed to copy them. :( The insurance changes could also be along that line. But I am wrong to belabor. 1 Cor. 13 tells us that we are to "believe all things" in agapaos. So you and I both need to believe the best of both of our spouses. Why not tell her about the intensive now, and then book it as a joint decision? In Christ, John
  12. Aside from the issues that are here with respect to your marriage, I recommend "Disciplines of a Godly Man" by Kent Hughes. An OUTSTANDING book. As for your wife, before you lose out 100%, you need to discuss going to a J&K intensive. You should also get their books if you don't have them already. I do not portend to give J&K's advice for them, but I cannot imagine that they'd tell you to relent to allow your sister-in-law to fornicate in your family home, whether or not your daughters are present (have you been married before)? If your wife saved? How about your sister-in-law?
  13. Hi and welcome. I don't presume to supplant J&K's advice. My observation is that your wife wants pay stubs in order to fill out paperwork so that she can file for a divorce. The same thing happened to me. My wife wanted bank statements from my business, which I duly provided, and then it turned out that she had filed for divorce. J&K are ministering in Africa right now. I believe that, when they return, they will probably ask to call your wife, if they haven't done so already. I will say this... J&K usually do not tell husbands to just "say" that they are on a crash cour
  14. Honestly, it sounds like psychobabble... "Mommy told me that I couldn't finger-paint the sofa so now I abuse my wife!" I am unsure if this question is rooted in Dr. Hegstrom's books or in modern psychology. To paraphrase a WWE wrestler, "It doesn't matter what arrested your development!" If you surrender to the Lord's will, as the Lord's Prayer clearly mentions ("Thy Will be done"), and as the Lord Himself consistently did to the point of dying on the cross, you don't need to go on an expedition to childhood regression therapy in order to obey the Lord and act the right way. All you
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