Jump to content
God Save My Marriage


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


About Judy

  • Rank
    Offering Encouragement J&K Way

Profile Information

  • Location
  • Interests
    Healed, exceptionally happy marriage since 2004, present workshops & mentor couples with husband Tom who lives Eph 5:25 daily ~ we're Livin' It!
  1. You can say a couple who is working together when the husband understands these teachings and is daily trying to apply them to his marriage and heal his wife's heart in all areas. When he is becoming Christ-like in his actions and attitudes to his wife, his family, his church family and his job. When he is daily spending time in God's Word and applying it by becoming the man that God has called him to be. Ultimately it's your decision as a wife when he's getting it (or not). You won't feel wonderful 100% of the time all day long - but when the good feelings out weigh the bad times you're wel
  2. Hello Pat, I'm glad that you finally posted! I moved your post into your very own topic here in the women's section so we wouldn't hijack Tom's topic for the guys! You are your husband's mirror, a reflection of how he's treating you, nurturing you, caring for your heart. From what you write he's not doing a very good job. Yes you're stuck because your husband think's he's doing enough but he's doing it to suit himself - not you! He's not listening to you, living with you in an understanding way. It sounds like he has lots of head knowledge and can share it with other men - do as I say not
  3. Hello Pat, I'm so glad you posted for the first time! I split your post off to a new topic "Second Guessing Myself" in the Women Whose Husbands are Working to Win Their Hearts Back forum so you can get some women's insights over there. I'll let Tom know you've written but I wanted you to know that you should not be second guessing yourself in this area you are his guage, his mirror and if you're not feeling what he's saying then he's not meaning what he's saying - he's just going through the actions. This is a men's topic so to not hijack it - let's go talk over on your new topic: http://www.j
  4. Welcome Watchman! I've moved your topic (from the prayer requests) here to the forum - Men Working to win their wife's heart back. Read both of J&K's books, everything on this forum and continue listening to the phone calls. This is a hour by hour - day by day choice that you make to die to self and become the man that God has called you to be. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
  5. Princess Your husband is trying to look good to the forum right now - but don't worry everyone sees right through him. Why don't you just stick to sharing on your topic for now... http://www.joelandkathy.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=1428
  6. I haven't been on the forums much lately so I haven't seen this post until now - thanks for sending it. You did a great job of expressing yourself, maybe jumbled to you but this is typical of a wife who has been beaten down constantly. I feel your pain and frustration! You're scheduled for an Intensive in a few weeks so hang in there until then - either a miracle will happen or you will have direct sign that your husband is incapable of changing - so at least give this a chance. Let him know this is the last chance, the fork in the road, the turning point or else! God doesn't want you and y
  7. Of course it's ok for you to post here - whenever you want or need to! Remember that God didn't cause this pain - your clueless, selfish husband did. Try to imagine yourself climbing up in God's lap, telling him everything on your heart and crying your eyes out until it's all out. Your husband isn't healing your heart but that's his responsibility to do whatever it takes to make up for what he's done. Is he reading the books, on the forum? Is he working this program?
  8. We as helpmeets in spite of our own arrestedness need to learn how to say: "Honey I do want to hear what you're feeling but now is not the right time. I can't deal with it right now, I'm very hurt by ___ (what they did, said, didn't do or say). Let's get back to healing what started this and then later tonight when we've calmed down we can talk about ___. Right now I need you to ____." You can't just pull this on him in the middle of an argument or situation - you need to discuss this together this together before you get there. Meaning discuss this scenario and how it makes you feel to hear
  9. Bob men who are dead to self don't have feelings of self - like Joel says "Just die already and get it over with!" As long as you're feeding the old man he will continue to rear his ugly head and desire only what he wants. The time will come when you can share your feelings with Kay - when it will be mutually responding to each other - but so much healing needs to take place before that can happen. Meanwhile you are not making it safe for her to share, cry, scream, yell, vent, talk, express her feelings and if that's not safe you really don't know Kay and she feels unsafe, unloved, unwante
  10. Yes it takes the man reading the books and applying the principles, but if this is what he chooses then the books will help you move on to the next step of your journey. Get the books, read them and give them to your husband and let him make the choice. Pray that he reads and applies and chooses life. If he doesn't then you can move on knowing that you've done what you could.
  11. David, If you're at all familiar with this ministry you will know that this is what it takes to wake up a man to what he is loosing. It is not about revenge but about restoration. It is also against policy for men to post in the women's sections.
  • Create New...