ChooseLove
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It has been a long time since I joined the forum. Unfortunately, our marriage is not in a good place and I put that fruit on me. Our marriage must change. Please keep us in prayer as I seek the Lord and further die to self. -
Thanks, GhostWriter!
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Happy new year all. It is hard to believe another year has passed. Nikki and I are still married working toward our 14th year of marriage. I would like to say we are living an outrageously happy marriage, but while we have had good times there definitely have been some ups and downs along the way. I think both of us get tired and honestly struggle at times to love each other as God would have us. I know I have a lot of head knowledge but struggle to be consistent in my application loving my wife where she is at. I want to be married and be the best husband I can but I see how I have chosen poorly at times, not studying my wife well enough to where she feels safe, nurtured and deeply loved. I recently read a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, and a big takeaway for me is that I need to let go, discard things of the past, in particular, physical things and the emotions/baggage that comes with them. Let go so I can be present and really enjoy my time and not be tied to things of the past. I am ready for this transformation to improve my life and that of my marriage and family. I pray each one of you is renewed in heart and mind so we can do all things through Christ in love. God bless you and keep you this 2019 and beyond!
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Happy new year all. Overall we had a good holiday season and looking forward to 2018. I am thankful every day I get to love my wife and have our family growing in the Lord. Praise be to God!
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HI MaryJane, Thanks for your continued prayers and support. We just celebrated my birthday this week and had a great time together. We have a date scheduled for Sunday to see an Argentine tango performance and then have dinner together. Overall doing better as I remember to stay connected and intentional in blessing my wife. As to how I feel when I disappoint my wife, it means that I need to be more focused and disciplined and not lean on my own understanding. I don't dwell on it (feeling sorry for myself) but rather look to take action and responsibility for creating the best environment for my wife to thrive. Onward and upward! Have a blessed weekend and Thanksgiving all.
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Hi MaryJane, thanks for your prayers and support. I must say that I still am a barrier to intimacy at times. My wife, God bless her, has been through so much and I don't make it as easy as I need to for her. While I have gathered a great amount of knowledge and wisdom through the ministry I still stumble at times putting it in action. That is hard for a wife that knows how good it CAN be but is hurt when I falter. I strive to do the best I can and not be a downer. We definitely can grow in the area of emotional connection and deep intimacy that sustains a marriage.
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We had a great 12th anniversary this past weekend and are looking for a little one night get away this weekend. God is so good.
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Thanks so much. God definitely has used you to help me through some very tough times. I am grateful we are doing better. Thanks be to God!
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Praise the Lord indeed! We all need reminders from time to time an you did a great job reminding Zed. God bless you and keep you both.
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Quick praise report. We had a wonderful weekend and are looking forward to celebrating our 12th anniversary this coming July. We are thankful that God has seen us through so much. Thank you Jesus for your love endures forever!
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Thank you MJ. I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend with my wife. We have the kids spending the night over with some friends and have a nice dinner planned on Saturday evening.
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Prayer request today as we hit a bump. I have not been as present and in effect been more self-seeking of late and it has taken its toll. As I read 1 Corinthians 13 today and the part of self-seeking or demanding my own way stood out. There is still more dying to self to do. Please pray for me in that I heed God's calling and my heart changes to better reflect true love. Thank you.
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Thanks MJ. We had a good morning today. I made juice and coffee for bringing it to her in bed. Overall we are doing better. God continues to work on us both and we faithfully pursue Him together. We are thankful that the Lord has seen us through so much and that our family is intact and becoming stronger each day.
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Quick update - I am still learning to study my wife. Pray that I listen, learn and observe, taking action that creates a safe environment where my wife feels she can be herself, sharing freely, knowing she is loved. I still make mistakes (e.g., not being observant) and know that I can do better. It is about intentionality and focus - Lord let me rely on you. I invite the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me. May my selfishness pass away and may I look to the needs of my wife and family. Thank you, Lord, for this day, may you be glorified.
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Passion4one I appreciate you sharing an update. I want to encourage you to please God first. You sound a lot like me in the physical touch area. Be sure to observe your wife and create an inviting, exciting life she WANTS to be a part of. It is up to you to set the stage so she is drawn to you. Don't force touch as it will have the opposite effect on her reinforcing that you are not in tune with her. Invite her to share in life with her just as Jesus does with us. Be mindful of your actions and energy, you focus on being the man God has called you to be and it will work out. Praying for you today.