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God Save My Marriage

ChooseLove

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Everything posted by ChooseLove

  1. Good morning all, It has been awhile since I have provided an update. Overall the trend has been more warm than cold. One area I am a bit weary on however is the depth and frequency of our physical interaction. I do my best to initiate, but when there is consistent rejection and rebuff it gets wearisome and I see how I have responded in a passive-aggressive ways. I really am trying to decipher what are my actions and her corresponding responses - are they related to me or are they Mourning Cloak's own issues she needs to resolve. Unfortunately it is VERY difficult and tense to even rais
  2. I second 4evr's response. I would like to share another resource that helped me, since I have been in a similar place and mentality to you, the book that was an eye-opener for me into my passive aggressive traits and how badly they damaged my wife, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom by Scott Wetzler. I continue to pray for you and the family. God bless. Don't give up, don't give in. This is a battle you can and will win by the grace of God.
  3. Hi Ophelia, I am glad you continue to post. Sometimes when the forum goes down some recent posts may be lost, I don't believe you violated any rule. 4evr has some good insight for you, please listen to hear experience as she has helped me a lot. I would like to share another resource that helped me, since I have been in a similar place and mentality as to Riversedge, the book that was an eye-opener for me into my passive aggressive traits and how badly they damaged my wife, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom by Scott
  4. Riversedge, I want to follow-up on another good resource for the apology letter at http://reviving.us/anatomy-of-an-apology/... Now, beyond that, one of the first things we do when a man gets involved with this ministry is have him write an Apology Letter to his wife. This is meant to be an initial summary of all the things he’s done to hurt her over the course of their marriage. Typically, the first draft of the letter is all about him, which is understandable, since the man has no experience with any of this. However, in order for the letter to be healing to his wife, it has to be about
  5. Ophelia, I am glad you are continuing to post here. I understand how painful it can be but you are helping others too. I hear you pain as my wife had many similar concerns about me as a husband. Thankfully we have come to a much better place from our low of December 2013. I am praying for you and your family that the Lord sustains you and gives you His joy and peace that passes all understanding. You have a community here that wants to see you and your marriage and family thrive! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ71RWJhS_M
  6. Riversedge, I just read your wife's last post and really I am at loss for words. You have so many resources and you are whittling them away. Your wife is hurting in so many ways and I don't see real dying to self. This is tough stuff, it appears you are continuing to be defensive, blame, and set your wife up. The fact she is so involved with the ministry is a true blessing and shows her deep faith in God. I am glad you are here posting and getting on the calls, but it takes corresponding action, positive words and encouragement consistently if you want to see real change. I have been
  7. How are you doing brother? It has been a long time since an update. Have a blessed weekend.
  8. Have a great weekend with your wife Riversedge. Let's us be men of courage and stand firm in our faith. Let the light of Christ shine brightly in you. You be the change and let the goodness of the Lord dwell in you so that your wife may find safe harbor. I am standing with you pursuing my wife, dying to self to become the man God wants me to be. May He be glorified in our thoughts, words and deeds. Amen.
  9. Thanks for sharing Erik Great information, now to put it all into ACTION!
  10. Glad you are here Riversedge. Listen to MJ, she has a lot of great wisdom to share and has been on the forums for a long time. I will leave you this thought for the day...
  11. Thanks HisSon, I can see where you are coming from. My main point was that as we embrace God's love and how He has made us worthy we are better able to be the man and husband God has designed. We are attracted to God's good nature and want to draw near to him. Let the light of God shine in you and may His love be evident to all. People are drawn to that light, but left to ourselves we are a miserable mess. Hopefully I will hear you on the calls again, it has been a long time. God bless you brother!
  12. Saw this the other day and read the accompanying article at http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/04/why-we-cheat-why-we-get-cheated-on/. The statement that stood out to me was... Victims of cheating are, nine times out of ten, in my experience, people who feel bad about themselves. In other words, cheating happens most often to people who don’t value or respect themselves. This is true in that I did not truly embrace God's love for me, so in effect I was not able to love my wife in a more Christlike way. The praise report today is we are consistently doing better overall. I look at h
  13. Thinking about you today Cindy. Always appreciated the Monday night calls with you and TP. I pray you are doing great! God bless.
  14. NICE WORK Passion4one. Really, you have kept it up well, may this continue as a lifelong pursuit!! Thankfully things are steady at our home front as well. We are not at 20 HSKC but working toward it each day. The good news is my wife is interacting with me overall and I thank God I get to love her everyday.
  15. Glad to see the forum back up again. Thank you for the behind the scenes folks keeping things up and running. Quick praise report before I head to bed. We are definitely continuing a warming trend increasing the oxytocin and bonding between us! I praise God as he continues to heal our marriage. Have a blessed night all.
  16. Thanks for the update Joel. I was able to quickly look up Dr. Henry Mohn and he does have good credentials. I pasted a few links I found below. I am glad you have connected with him. https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-henry-mohn-57b7b526 http://www.ncca.org/conference/speakers/speakers_henry.html https://twitter.com/henrymohn
  17. Thank you both. On a positive note I did get to give a brief hug and kiss to my wife before bed last night and again this morning. I have been thinking about your post on shifting my prayer life TP and meditating on that.
  18. Thanks MJ and TP for your comments. I really appreciate the insights. This past week more walls have gone up and she has been pulling away. She has a lot of anger toward me, it appears to be her default setting to see the worst in me, how I fail her even in the little things. It feels like I can almost never do right by her no matter how hard I try. I am a bit tired and weary at the moment. I see my own struggles daily facing her negativity and doing my best to be encouraging, but I am still failing as we not in a very healthy place overall as a marriage. Yes, I was speaking of Gary Ch
  19. I came across this post today and unfortunately it should be unpinned. See news story below... http://www.wbiw.com/local/archive/2013/12/odon-man-facing-child-molesting-charges-kills-self.php According to police, the director of an online counseling ministry killed himself Monday rather than face a charge of child molestation. According to a probable cause affidavit, 59-year-old Robert A. Mangus, of Odon, was facing charged of molesting a boy and taking and possessing child pornography. According to Deputy Prosecutor Donita Farr, Mangus was scheduled to turn himself into the sheriff's of
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