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God Save My Marriage


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Everything posted by ChooseLove

  1. Thank you again for the quick responses Looney_Tunes and MaryJane. Sorry for the confusion on the usernames. I accidentally registered twice. I am going with ChoosingLove. Also I just purchased the two books and DVD today. I have been meditating a lot on what has been shared thus far. God has the ultimate victory and I need to be obedient working on my own issues. You are right I can't fix her or call her into accountability when I have my own issues that are hurting her. She is deeply wounded. Today's verse from Psalm 143:10 really spoke to me -Teach me to do your will, for you are
  2. I wanted to follow-up to my last post. I read Dobson's Love Must Be Tough - http://www.amazon.com/Love-Must-Be-Tough-Marriages/dp/141431745X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386723726&sr=1-1&keywords=love+must+be+tough and that has been helpful to me. I have been reading A LOT. Right now I am struggling however how to deal with my wife in that she is still living in the house, home schooling our kids, essentially living the good life while asking for a divorce. I have a tremendous about of love and grace to give, but I know she is not in a place to receive it right now. I
  3. Thank you Helper. I truly appreciate that. Below are some notes that have rung true to me about the affair: We have also supported couples where the woman has had the affair, where healing was unfortunately not achieved. In many of these situations the husband genuinely loved his wife, and was willing to forgive, change and do whatever it took to create a fulfilling marriage. Sometimes the wife refused to give up her contact with her affair partner, which eventually forced the divorce or separation. When the wife has had the affair it is often more difficult to get her to give up her af
  4. Thanks for your words. Yes she is broken and hurting indeed. As my Pastor told me we will fill those needs either in a healthy or unhealthy way. I do love her and told her I would always love her, pursuing her in spite of myself. I love the Lord with all my heart and I agree I want to be closer to Christ and die to self. I seek the Lord earnestly that I can be the best father and husband I can be. As my wife does not have any long tern/life long friends I believe she has looked to me to fill her up emotionally, as she is a stay at home Mom who home schools are little ones. She has no
  5. Praying for you My Hope Is In Him. So sorry you and I are going through divorce, albeit mine at a slower pace than yours. I will pray that you remain in good relationships, praying together and being transparent. That has helped me immensely. I communicate with at least 1-2 people a day as I go through this, seeing a counselor twice a week. I also check in with my pastor regularly as well. We need to be in community and not isolated. God has the victory. So sorry she does not see working on the marriage is worth it - it appears you do as do I. I don't want to be divorced myself. In y
  6. Greetings all, I will use this post to start sharing my own experience. I received a book from Amazon.com from Joel and Kathy and thought this forum may be another great resource to help me through the difficult time I am going through. Fortunately I do have many good friends, family and spiritual leaders to turn to who have helped me and continue to help me. I am a lifelong Christian with my faith set firmly in Christ - he is my all in all and I know God already has the ultimate victory. Currently where I stand is that my wife of 8+ years, being together since September 2003, wants a
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