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God Save My Marriage

ChooseLove

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Everything posted by ChooseLove

  1. Thanks Mj. Looking forward to a breakfast date on Saturday and then time with another family on Sunday for the Superbowl. Last night my wife shared some good feedback in that I need to stop "flogging" myself for past wrongs and be more selective of when I share mistakes of the past. We had a very nice brief conversation about that and how the day went. It was very pleasant and overall things have been going smoother. I have been able to give her a couple more kisses a day and hugs here and there as well. I still need to watch myself not to smother her. It is starting to get more fun
  2. Quick praise report. Overall warming trend. Had a very nice weekend and date night on Saturday. Looking forward to even better days to come. Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I ask for and speak blessings over my wife. I thank You Lord that You are healing her heart with Your Perfect Love. I pray for my wife's beauty - inside and out- to become as evident to her as it is to everyone else and that she would be encouraged and blessed by this revelation. I pray for strength and stability in my wife's emotions and thoughts. I ask for Your glory and power Lord to heal every wounded, frag
  3. Another song to share for the day. This was our second dance at our wedding. Now that I listen to the words they mean more today then back on July 16, 2005 when we danced to them for the first time as husband and wife. Steady as we go. Yes, hard times will come, but my love with remain with you my beautiful wife. I love you so very much. Your ever loving husband, forever and ever... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87jG1ryTay8
  4. I thought it would be helpful to review the lyrics... Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful Lyrics Prince: Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Am I making believe I see in you a girl too lovely to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because I want you? Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream or are you really as beautiful as you seem? Cinderella Musical: Am I making believe I see in you a man too perfect to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because
  5. Thanks for sharing the song 4evr. I see how it relates to me and how I am loving my wife. I keep focusing on what I get to do and how I can bless her. I know I need to find my own peace and joy each day whether or not she is responding the way I would like her to. It is an act of will, thankfully spurred on by my faith, to be mindful and find ways to choose love and joy despite the circumstances I find myself in. I made it to the gym today and I see a difference when I am able to workout in my mental well-being in addition to the physical. Other good news is that we have a date night li
  6. Hi all, Thank you ladies for pouring into me. I truly appreciate the thoughtful insights. It is interesting points you all raise about the prayer. I orginally found it online at http://www.shalombewithyou.com/prayer/family/prayer-for-blessing-of-a-wife/and it was written by a woman. I really do believe you are all onto something though in my attitude or approach being unconsciously "holier than thou." I confessed to my wife last week that I believe there was/is some residue there. I believe there was some healing this past week as I started to acknowledge that. I am going to ruminant
  7. SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS: You have been presented with certain unexpected challenges, which have resulted in a setback. However, this too shall pass. You have not gotten off course, nor has your spiritual focus changed. You will soon fall into a rhythm with a comfortable stride, says the Lord. Just keep pressing through and refuse to get discouraged. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are
  8. Good morning all, I pray you all have a blessed weekend with loved ones. A highlight from my devotion this morning... SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:I will show you things that you need to recognize from your past--things that will reveal a need for correction. But, you must not dwell on times of rejection and reproach, which could cause you to lose heart. Rather, review your life's difficulties objectively with an eye to make adjustments, says the Lord. This is an opportunity for freedom and greater spiritual strength. Revelation 3:19 "As many as I love, I rebuke and cha
  9. Hi all, I was able to get on the men's call briefly last night. There has been cracks in the coldness in that she is generally talking with me. I do my best to listen and minimize talking. Also I continue to look to other ways to bless her like making tea this morning which she likes and running out to Taco Bell last night for a favorite snack. I am glad these little things can bring a smile to her face. Lord I invite you into my life and marriage, may you be glorified and bring us both to an outrageously happy marriage. Thank you for your abundant blessings you bring into my life. I
  10. Thanks 4evr for your post. I really have been blessed by your words. It sounds like your interaction with your daughter is similar to mine with my wife. It appears I can't do anything right, but I am gaining discernment into what is really causing it. She needs compassion, grace and mercy. I love her so much it hurts to see her push me away, the cortisol levels are through the roof I am sure. I am praying fervently and I know the hardship and suffering I am going through has purpose and meaning. I am currently reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl which has further helped me
  11. I was able to get on the call last night with Joel and he shared some insights more of where I have been coming from. I am glad Tony was able to listen in and give me his feedback. We are in a cold place as Mourning Cloak decided to sleep on the couch last night. Fortunately she has allowed me to at least give her a hug the last couple of mornings. She was kind enough to also make a crockpot recipe and make me a bowl and talk about her new TV show she is into. I made it to the gym this morning and I am working on taking care of myself, emotionally, physically, and spiritually staying in the
  12. Thanks TP. No offense taken in fact quite the opposite, I am humbled you and so many have taken the time to pour into me, for that I am so very grateful. I agree that I am not released. I am not giving up. I am digging deeper, getting at the root of my failing. I can't blame her if she does not stick around. She has been through enough abuse and trauma.
  13. Thanks MJ. I really appreciate your insights. It helps to have a woman's perspective for sure. There is still more dying to self on my end. I read a good post at Intentionally Yours today about overcoming discouragement at http://www.intentionallyyours.org/blog/2014/03/11/overcoming-discouragement-marriage that further helped guide my thoughts and actions. Last night it was cold at home, we spoke briefly, but there is obvious distance and pull back from Mourning Cloak. I did express that I was sorry for violating her trust and that I was not seeking to condemn her with my actions. I open
  14. Thanks Tony. I will start on the letter tonight. I know God has this covered and I will do all I can to demonstrate His love to Mourning Cloak.
  15. Thanks TP for your quick response. I was able to talk with Tony a bit as well and see how his words dovetail with yours. Praying the Holy Spirit goes before me as I travel home this evening (heavy rain in California) and that my words and actions bless my wife.
  16. OK I am back seeking some more wisdom and input. So last night I happen login to our desktop family computer and saw that my wife's facebook account was logged-in. I did check out her account and was tempted to delete the internet history but I left if as I felt deleting it would be dishonest. She has been secretive in the past and this is the way the previous two affairs started. I don't have passwords to any of her accounts. Well this morning she sent me a facebook message "Did you find anything interesting in my Facebook?" This is likely in response to me not deleting the history of m
  17. HisSon, I just finished the book Start With Why by Simon Sinek and it was very inspiring to me. What is your Why? What motivates you to do the work you do? Take a few minutes to check out the video below. I hope it blesses you and encourages you to find work that fits within your "Why." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE
  18. I understand the feedback and see where you both are coming from. I will continue to invite the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me and seek out God's wisdom in taking action. I believe you are right 4evr that I do see the bigger picture and that I need to rely on God's timing. To that end I just finished reading Adam Houge's How to Hear from God Easily which has helped to refocus my attention. Thankfully today I am at peace and have the joy of the Lord in my step, it is a good day, as I see His rich blessings in my life including friends like you taking the time to reach out to me. I am ver
  19. Good morning and happy new year's eve! No word back from my wife on the prayer either way, I offered it up and left it at that. I prayed over it before sending (facebook message) to make sure it was a blessing acting on the prompting of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has been prompting me to be more intentional and reach out and invite my wife. Please pray for me that my words and actions bring glory to God and that they draw Mourning Cloak closer to Him. Amen!
  20. Greetings all, Just a quick check-in. I have been enjoying time with the family this Christmas season. I am looking forward expectantly to what 2016 brings. As part of that I found a good prayer online at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/a-prayer-for-my-marriage/I shared with my wife. “LORD, thank you for my husband/wife. He/she is such a gift to me. I pray for our marriage. Help us work together as a team. I know you designed marriage to thrive when a husband and wife function together in partnership like two wings on the same bird, so help us work together in harmony so our ma
  21. Have yourselves a Merry little Christmas! May the love, hope, peace and joy found in Christ abound in your life. I am thankful for the ministry and I am richly blessed beyond measure.
  22. Quickly, I had talked about introvert and extrovert. I tested out as ESFJ and my wife is INFJ. Here is a quick breakdown for me. I am hopeful we will do the temperament testing with TP in the new year. At least I will go for it. Your personality type: “The Consul” (ESFJ-A) Strength of individual traits: Extraverted: 90%, Observant: 60%, Feeling: 69%, Judging: 51%, Assertive: 60%. Role: Sentinel Strategy: People Mastery Link to your profile: http://www.16personalities.com/profiles/5678793e97855
  23. Thanks for the feedback 4evr. This is a good place to get feedback since I am more limited on getting on the calls for a good reason, they start at the same time I get home to spend time with the family. I am thankful for such a great relationship I have with our kids, now 6 (son) and 9 (daughter). We had a nice time after church on Sunday as we went out to lunch together and then saw the new Star Wars movie. Nearly each weekday morning we read a devotional before I head into work. Today I headed out the gym around 5:15 and got to say good morning to my wife as she is not usually up that
  24. Most definitely MJ. I am glad the forum is working better. I still get on the men's calls pretty regularly as well. It is important to stay engaged and continue to grow. My wife has told me how hard it was to find a man who had his own faith and went to church on his own. She was definitely attracted to that. I am an extrovert and she is an introvert so there was also that attraction to what is opposite. We both also happened to be Lutheran. I made friends quickly with her friends and family and have strong connections with them today. She saw my love for the Lord, family and friend
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