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God Save My Marriage

ChooseLove

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  1. Good morning 4evr. I knew not to press it at that time of night as it would not go well. I have to be very strategic when approaching her. She can be easily set-off and angered and does not like questions or to be confronted. This is not just with me but with others in her life. I pray the Holy Spirit guides my words and to be aware of the opportunities to approach her. I work to make myself approachable and listen when she is ready to speak, but to press her or question her does not typically go well.
  2. Thanks 4ver for your post. I am still processing but I wanted to at least respond to MJ's questions below
  3. Yes, absolutely TP. We read that verse today during the morning devotions. Glad you enjoyed the song MJ. So in a nutshell the breakthrough for me was truly looking long-term for my hope, peace and joy in the Lord, knowing He will fulfill His promises. I fully recognize the circumstances are not what I would like, but rather that complaining about the situation I am looking at is as an opportunity. I need to find joy in the moment, be present and enjoy life, be grateful for the moments I have to breath and bless others. I have to go through the struggles of life to become the man God
  4. Verses for the day... Philippians 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 1 John 5:14-15English Standard Version (ESV)14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that
  5. Hi all, I have been thinking about the recent posts and have had my own personal breakthrough - in the words of 4evr - I "got" it. I have more to write on that but I wanted to quickly share a song that has been speaking to me during this time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dR0H0tAYT8 Also, I just finished reading The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption by Matt Chandler on the Song of Solomon that helped coalesce by own breakthrough.
  6. Amazing words 4evr. Thank for sharing and for TP's confirmation as well. The devotion I read today was directly related to letting the light of Christ shine in me. A lot to think about. Today's Verse for Monday, December 7, 2015 - http://www.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/todaysverse.cgi Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.—Psalm 112:4 (NIV) Thoughts on Today's Verse...What a powerful promise! Just as night passes into dawn, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous, dawn comes even in the worst nights of deep spiritual darkness
  7. Thanks for sharing Kathy. I appreciate the analogy of switching gears and agree the sooner we can do that the better. It is awesome to know that we have a God who equips us with all we need to switch gears. I trust in His provisions for my life. May the joy of the Lord be with you!
  8. Thanks Tony for your words of encouragement. I really have hope we will get to a place of an OHM. I am praying the Holy Spirit works in both of us and that we are drawn closer to Christ together. I am honored to be fighting side by side with you my brother.
  9. Praying this today from Habakkuk 3, thanks 4evr... Habakkuk Rejoices in the Lord 17 Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. 19 God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. as well as Romans 5 Peace with God Through Faith 5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[
  10. Thanks for the good word from Habukkuk 3. Honestly it has been up and down for me. I can get to some low points, but I hold onto God's promises dearly! I look to find ways to be grateful and appreciative of the small things in life and see that God sustains me through the journey with just what I need. I would like things to instantly turnaround, but alas that is not the case. I seek to find joy and to share God's love where ever I can. I truly the desire for our marriage to be restored in the way God intended deeply loving one another, but there is still quite a bit distance. I do my b
  11. Today is roughly the two year anniversary of when I came to the ministry when our marriage was at the lowest point. I can honestly say we have stepped back from the edge and are more stable today. I am thankful for a great family trip to Disneyland and look forward to the holidays and what the future holds. My hope is in Christ, certain that He will fulfill His promises. I speak blessings over the life, body, soul, spirit and heart of Mourning Cloak. Her heart is healed by the love of God and she is healthy and whole enough to pass this healing onto others. Mourning Cloak sees herself
  12. Yes thanks for the update 4evr. God is so very good. I too have been focusing on finding the joy in life despite the circumstances I find myself at times. God bless you and Marissa, it really sounds like you are both on an upswing. May the peace of the Lord be with you as you navigate through the ever changing waters. Your presence on this forum has sure been a light to me and others. Let us know how things all get set-up in Oklahoma - California will sure be at a loss with you moving on!
  13. November 24 - SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:If you can position yourself to be in the flow of My Spirit, you will experience a time of great grace. It will be a time of favor and acceptance, which affords joy, pleasure, sweetness and delight. However, you must release yourself from all worry and fear and forgive those who have wronged you in any way. Be free so that you can enjoy this time of grace, says the Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
  14. Read an interesting article entitled Gratitude May Be Key to Wedded Bliss. Lord help me when I am not thankful, looking at faults or complaining about my spouse. Let me bring you my hurts and pains and be a source of joy and peace that can only come from you to bless my wife and family. I speak blessings over the life, body, soul, spirit and heart of Mourning Cloak. Her heart is healed by the love of God and she is healthy and whole enough to pass this healing onto others. Mourning Cloak sees herself as beautiful to God, herself and her husband. She is balanced in her emotions and
  15. Hi TP, thanks for the prompting. Yes, I do say "we" as that is how I look at our marriage, for a long time it was more as an individual, as my wife would say you are living like you are single. I have made a more conscious choice to turn toward the marriage and embrace that we are made to be one in Christ. We are not completely healed as a marriage unit and not at the place where there is complete transparency. I read this article, 10 Signs You're in a Relationship With a Passive-Aggressive, and the first point stuck out as to where we often get stuck. I used to be the one to shut down
  16. Erik, you hit on some verses that come up in my devotional last week from Romans 15 that are very convicting in this area.... The Example of Christ15 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” 4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might hav
  17. Thanks MJ. Praise report for the surgery for Mourning Cloak's aunt went well, now onto oncologist for further updates. Please continue to pray for continued healing. Also today Mourning Cloak was not feeling well, she also needs prayers of healing. I have been seeking the Holy Spirit and praying intently and I keep coming back to this idea... We have continued distance and secrecy in the marriage. I know a breakthrough is coming and I am seeking God's wisdom, that He guide my words, thoughts and deeds. There is surely a spiritual battle going on and I am fighting fiercely for our
  18. Quick praise report - I was out of town for a couple of days and returned home to a warm welcome yesterday. I was able to give more hugs and kisses and saw continued warmth. Thank you Lord! We are praying for my wife's aunt today who is having surgery for a mass/tumor on her brain. Please pray for her, that she may be completely healed. She is an awesome woman of God and a true light in this world. The verse for the day...
  19. Hi Justhoping, I wanted to quickly respond to your post. You wouldn't want to train someone to develop emotions, it has to come from a place of being willing to be vulnerable and take risks. I highly recommend the TED Talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability at https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en.
  20. Hi 4evr, Thanks for checking in. Yes, thankfully we have been on the road of reconciliation and celebrated our 10th anniversary in July. Recently she has been a bit more receptive to my hugs and kisses. There are multiple complications here in the physical connection area. I have been reading and praying a lot about physical intimacy and inviting the Holy Spirit to guide and direct my words and actions. There will be a time I foresee where we will need to address the continued disconnect but I have been checking myself so as not be manipulative seeking my own gratification. I pray that
  21. Thanks MJ. Yes I did read that book and it was great, actually had me tear up a few times. Perhaps I need to read it again or another one her books. At one point I know he let's her go and finally they are reunited quite sometime later - a breakthrough for sure. Lord, I know you can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My wife is so precious to me and I believe in your promises and know you want goodness in our lives. I pray that you continue to use me as your instrument of love, being a light in the world. Thank you Jesus, you are amazing. I know we will have an outrage
  22. Please pray for me, that I continue to call on the Lord's strength. It is hard to continue to face distance and withholding affection from my wife. I struggle with easily offending my wife, for example after our devotion this morning, our daughter suggested a gift for a friend who is turning 8 today and whom they would see later. I mentioned an item our daughter saw a couple weeks ago at a local store and that irritated my wife. I saws she was on edge and reassured our daughter that my wife would make sure it is taken care of and left it at that (no more suggestions or input from me).I went
  23. Hi MJ, there was a bit more warth. I see glimpses of my wife open up, even says she loves me. There were some nice, short messages exchanged while coming home. While no fireworks, I still do my best to initiate and stoke the fire.
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