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God Save My Marriage

nemo

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About nemo

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. It was a good step to get on the call, Biff. That was a decision that you made that was beneficial to your wife's heart. Each time she vents, no matter how ridiculous or untruthful it sounds, you have that same choice: listen and reflect or voice your feelings. Granted listening and reflecting takes some mighty squashing of that voice inside you crying out to be heard, but like any sport or skill, it gets easier with practice. She is a gift from our Savior to you. That's a good thing to remember when it's decision time.
  2. Are you serious, Dudley? I can't imagine why you would even think about playing an instrument right now knowing how it can make your bride feel. In fact it would be in your's and (more importantly) your bride's best interest if you put down the music completely until you get a full time job. Even then it's about time your music took a seat in the very back of the bus. The only way you should ever be thinking of playing 5 times a week is if it becomes a 40 hour/week job with benefits like health insurance. In which case you go home and love on your bride after every day. Time to grow
  3. The same skills that you are learning to deal with your wife in a christlike way might also prove helpful with your parents. State what you did wrong, try to express how it might have made them feel, assure them that you accept responsibility and consequenses, and let them tell you what they feel. Do not react at all to what they say except to clarify. Then repeat it back to them in your own words. You can validate any negative things they feel about you or your bride without agreeing to take action against her. Make it all about their feelings. This is appropriate because this (their f
  4. Hey Biff, No shouting matches this time. Just a bit of encouragement and advice. It is good to see you posting and trying to understand her emotions ('hearing her heart' in ministry lingo). It is also good that you don't seem to be taking it personally when she says things like: and That is all good. She might even start to say things that appear spiteful or hurtful. Just ignore what you might perceive as an insult and continue to re-assure her. Understand that the things you are now doing but you wouldn't do in the past hurt her because you wouldn't listen to her then, but n
  5. Honey, I want you to know that I think you are simply awesome. You put all you have into making life for our family loving, safe, fair, and educational. You are the greatest blessing God has put in my life. May he bless you with peace, energy, wisdom, and love. I love you.
  6. Mary Jane posted this today I responded to Dory when she forwarded it to me: Truly, I have never met better people than those I meet in this ministry. Thank you all for all your help.
  7. If you continue with the attitude and direction you are heading, you will regret it even more deeply than you do now. When you finally realize this for yourself, you might want to get down on your knees before your children and beg their forgiveness for cursing them with the same pain, broken lives and disfunction that is the only thing you still have in common with your wife. How dare you quit on her! She didn't hate you when you married her. In fact you promised to love and cherish her. All her pain and anger are your responsibility. How dare you quit on your children! You promised G
  8. There may be a time and place for a mother to return to work, but her child's infancy through toddlerhood is a time when the mother is indespensible and crucial to the healthy development of that babe. Great kids are nurtured by great mothers. Great mothers emerge from the understanding, protective, and self-sacrificing care of a great husband. He must do everything he can to make sure she has no worries but giving enough love to the child(ren).
  9. Wow! Ladies, this advice isn't directed at me but I still must say thank you... because it can certainly apply truthfully to me and a bunch of other guys too. In short, DW, you are wrong. Flat wrong. What you've been doing is wrong. What you've been thinking is wrong. It is destructive to your marital union (ie: C2) and for that simple reason, it is wrong. But that's all washed away if you change. His blood covers us all in His awesome love. So despite your behavior being wrong, you as a man are still okay. Just knowing this can help you kill your pride demon. The change is huge,
  10. It might be that DW still can't get past the conviction that his perceptions are perfect and always right. He sees the facts in the way it benefits his arrestedness not his one flesh blessing. Could you get him on the call tonight.
  11. Sweetheart, I thank you for your effort in squeezing this 'rock'. There is blood and life to give and I want to give it... except when I don't... when you are venting and I am resenting. And that happens because I refuse to bend to the truth that you DO speak God's will for me. But the 'squeezing' is for my growth and your health. You shouldn't even have to squeeze. No one in this world knows me like you do. It is foolish selfishness for me to presume my mate might not know what harm I cause from my arrested inner me. You are the target of that abuse. And I spit it out at the worst p
  12. Who are you, HD, to be so learned in the ways of non-puppydoglikeness? Teach me your ways, o wise one. (imagine an awe-inspired emoticon here) Great Job, HD!
  13. You are right, In Nemo's mind, Dory is too damn picky. Sadly, this is a battle I fight everyday. It reaches my waking mind as resentment. It is something long overdue for spirtual surgury. In the early time of my faith in 07 and 08, I was able to focus the Holy Spirit's power on my porn, gaming, fantasy sports and other addictions and melt them like candles under a magnifying glass. I can see that though these were worthy targets, they were really symptoms of the real problem of bad character. You are showing me that selfishness and pride are the infections that allowed those idols to f
  14. You sent me a very good post from Gary Smalley today. I said something like a man is a Godly and respected husband when he is gentle, dependable, caring, responsible, sensitive, fair, etc. I don't remember the rest of the adjectives but they made me feel lacking. I want to be that man whom people, especially one person, sees as someone who deserves respect. Not because I am the VP of sales in a fortune 500 company or a renowned statesman, but because my character is rock-solid and built on faith. All those characteristics describe how one relates to others. She can help me with the posi
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