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God Save My Marriage

Rosebud

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About Rosebud

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages
  1. My father just turned 103. I think his life has been similar. When I think of what he all went through, being a soldier in WW2, then having to be a refugee, fleeing a country where he was to inherit a large estate and having to start over with nothing in a new country at age 40 with 6 children. He was married to my mother for 45 years when she died, then a year later he married a woman 25 years younger than he is, and they've been married 33 years now. He has always had a grateful attitude toward life. His motto is, "God can". Just the last few months his mind has been slipping, but he just ke
  2. Be assured I've been thinking and working on these things for some time. Asking him for 2 things I need? Tried that, didn't work. That makes me look needy and gives him more power over me. I now go over his head for things I need. To my Real Husband. To friends, family. Bitterness is not an option for a believer in Christ. Many people in history (Joseph for one) have been in circumstances that were less than ideal and didn't give in to bitterness, rather grew in wisdom and maturity while waiting for God's plan to come to fruition. I've often said that a husband can draw you closer to God
  3. sorry, the site kept telling me that I couldn't post, so I'd try again. Can I edit or delete this stuff? Why am I still here? Not sure except that I haven't sensed the Lord saying to leave at this time. Maybe I have stuff to learn yet.
  4. sorry, the site kept telling me that I couldn't post, so I'd try again.
  5. Well yes, he's done lots of reading. So? It's all on his terms. When he thinks things go well, well, it's because 'we're not fighting', and I don't have input. I ask him to reread a book and actually stop when it says to do something and then do what it says, he reads and gets to the end and says he couldn't find anything that he was supposed to do.....that's J&K's book, too. I ask what about the 20 questions? "What 20 questions?" So he reads the book to me aloud. Comes to the 20 questions and skips them. We go through days, weeks, even months when he thinks all is well........until I h
  6. Well yes, he's done lots of reading. So? It's all on his terms. When he thinks things go well, well, it's because 'we're not fighting', and I don't have input. I ask him to reread a book and actually stop when it says to do something and then do what it says, he reads and gets to the end and says he couldn't find anything that he was supposed to do.....that's J&K's book, too. I ask what about the 20 questions? "What 20 questions?" So he reads the book to me aloud. Comes to the 20 questions and skips them. We go through days, weeks, even months when he thinks all is well........until I h
  7. I am the maid of Insearchofthetruth. Apparently I've been asked to 'give my side of the story'. I guess I see it as that it's easy to write words, not so much to read between the lines and discern what is actually going on. Up until a few days ago I 'wasn't allowed' to read his thread, so even though he emailed me Crystal's request to get 'my side', I didn't know what it even was that I was siding up against. I really didn't even want to read his thread but finally did. No surprises. I have learned a lot about relationships over the years, and realize that what we were taught in church w
  8. I see this in so many marriages. This is such a good parable. The wife says something simple, like, "I wonder what the Living Room would look like with a different coffee table." She may be thinking that sometime in the next year they might stop in at Habitat and look around for one, or consider painting the one in the garage. But hubby's mind is already off and running. He thinks, "Oh NO, she wants to buy all new furniture, paint the walls, change the carpet, she wants it tomorrow, and so I'd better stop her right now. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile already. Nag, nag, nag!!!! He blow
  9. Agreed. I think the word 'leader' actually is a trigger for me because I've seen so much in the church (ok and otherwise) where the husband can't see past the idea of 'leader' meaning 'power over'. After all, it brings up a mind picture of one person walking ahead of another, not beside.
  10. This is my first post so I'm not sure if it will go through, but I'll try. I've been browsing this website with interest for quite some time. I've trained as junior counselor with Elijah House and am constantly learning about relationships. The above is very interesting, yet I think something else needs to precede that information, and that is an understanding of why abuse occurs. An abuser has a win-lose attitude and the wife (can be the other way but let's use this example now because it is far more prevalent) has a win-win attitude. She feels that in a discussion (which he, with his competi
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