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God Save My Marriage

7Times

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About 7Times

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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  1. Skiingco, Excellent words of inspiration/motivation! Thanks so much and God Bless.
  2. I'm not quite sure how I'm not letting the fact that my ex is becoming seriously involved with someone else create anger or causing me to feel worthless or 100% hopeless. The only explanation is that the holy spirit is guiding me and that I have accepted that I must be humbled and learn from everything that I am faced with as I move through all of this. That in and of itself has been a remarkable shift in this process of becoming Christlike: to embrace the suffering and boast about my weaknesses. If I refuse to embrace the suffering or if I hide from the painful circumstances, I will not reap
  3. Thank you very much skiingco! I am trying to see this as a marathon in which I am also growing all along the way. Growing through the grueling pain. I recognize this is a lifelong journey of continual dying to self. As painful as this is at times, I am accomplishing things and living a way which would have been unheard of for me 5 or 6 years ago. So, your comments help me to not lose sight of who I am becoming and to not give in to impatience, temptation towards the "easy" way out and the voice telling me I can throw in the towel for restoration because my growth at this point is now "good
  4. Thanks David. That sums it up even more directly than the following which I've been meditating on:"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
  5. Another great church service today (my youngest daughter joined me). My good friend who restored his marriage after being on the brink of divorce by walking yhe walk gave his testimony (excellent! good timing.Tears flowed) I am praying for the peace I receive when I'm in church to remain with me, because when that peace fills me I am at my best and able to be most Christlike. Without that peace (refusing to let the Holy Spirit live through me), I wax and wane. This is all about striving to be consistent for the rest of my life. I'm actually developing a small amount of acceptance of her i
  6. "This morning, I heard a pretty amazing statement. Great men are uncomplicated. Meaning that they aren’t bogged down with irrelevance. They know what matters and have their focus. No drama. Not complaining. Not whining. Not perpetually angry or distressed. Choosing to be happy and content. Choosing to have positive attitudes." -Erik Matlock (from www.erikmatlock.com blog)
  7. After the men's call today, I realized the above comment doesn't quite make sense. I believe the only way I would ever win her heart back would be through Christlike love and actions. So, if I am saying I am continuing with Christlike love, then by default I am accepting the power that can have to possibly change a woman's heart. Looking at the statement honestly and breaking it down, I was really saying: "I am impatient, this is too painful and I'm going to go find someone else who loves me to soothe that pain"...even though that's not truly what I want in my heart and it's not what I belie
  8. IMO = In My Opinion. Sometimes I'm careful not to offer suggestions as fact rather than options or a possible point of view, especially if it is not directly from the Bible. However, the "time in the desert" idea is biblical... as you know. Still praying for you. You seem to be feeding your anger. I have done the same thing recently and am trying to remember that it is a choice as to what thoughts I feed (love) and what thoughts I starve (selfishness and bitterness). All of what you are saying may very well have some validity, but all of this process surely is not fair. I have found tha
  9. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27 But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
  10. skiingco, I just prayed for you. The enemy is getting into your head big time. I have been there too. You're probably already aware of this, but your posts are really beginning to reflect your physical / sexual needs and anger because of that frustration. God created us with those needs, so they are obviously real, but right now my thought is that you are going to have to pray to have those thoughts and needs put aside for now. They appear to be diverting your focus. Physical intimacy will be one of the results of consistent Christ-like actions, but right now those thoughts are sabotaging your
  11. Today, I seriously found myself wondering just what I'm doing. I will continue striving to be a Christlike man in all areas of my life, especially towards my ex-wife, but I am releasing her to God and will likely be removing the "winning back her heart" component from my actions. Any inkling of hope is having a severely detrimental effect on my emotional and mental state. She is now with another person and despite it happening during and immediately after the divorce, I would not be surprised if she was in love. I will love her anyway and bless her and my daughters to the best of my ability
  12. CL, I can't tell you how timely that is. Thank you! I feel like the "Opposite George" episode from Seinfeld I'm responding to challenges and disappointments as learning experiences from God. The greater the heartache the greater the growth. I'm slowly but surely learning to respond in a Christlike way to these disappointments, which is basically the opposite of my past insecure, angry, self-centered, victimhood reponses. "I will reveal things to you that have been difficult to grasp." Yes he is...
  13. More dying to self: J (which is how I'll refer to my ex-wife because I dislike the word "ex"), asked me to watch our dog this weekend because she's staying downtown again (in all probability with the BF). I said yes, pretty quickly, but soon thereafter I felt pitiful. Here I was, happily watching our dog so she can be with this other person. I guess the false image of a supposed "real" man would have been to have some "dignity" and tell her she'd need to figure out the dog thing for herself. The Christlike response, which I chose, was to help her and love her regardless of the situation. I
  14. skiingco, I love your new optimism! I think she will start to pickup on that also and absorb it. As CL said, envision it as reality and it will change the way you bless her and the style of your actions. I have a question (and I am not being sarcastic or rude with this): Can you explain the relevancy of putting the ice in the glass for her? You've mentioned it a bunch of times and I was wondering if it was a kind gesture you've done for her over the years or if there was some other significance. It seems like every time you mention that you "put ice in her glass", she responds in some type
  15. A moment of clarity today: Total focus was on one of my three daughters all day due to a semi-serious health issue. I took the reins and brought my daughter to two different doctors while keeping J (ex) posted every step of the way. At the end of the day, there was a pretty good connection between us and a good talk about my daughter's test results and future health-related considerations. The strong, shared love we have for our children was evident. We will always share that love and that it's comforting. We talked about a few other things for a while and it was very cordial. This was a b
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