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God Save My Marriage

Riversedge

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About Riversedge

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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    Male
  1. I am listening to my DW without getting defensive or explaining, being humble as she points things out to me, making sure she stays my priority in everything, and working together as a team. As difficult conversations come up that I want to get defensive about, I'm remembering that her feelings are just that there not right or wrong (there pretty much always right) and when I listen we are working through wounds from the past to bring healing. I am being quick to bounce back from bumps in under 20 minutes where they used to be 3 or 4 days of hell on my DW before I would snap out of it. Those
  2. I haven't posted in a while but our marriage has been going really well. We are on day 19 of my wife being treated with love. We have had some bumps in those days but I am listening and correcting when they come up. Before the 19 days of good I scared myself going lower than I ever thought I would. It is great seeing Ophelia start to open up and heal.
  3. I need to come clean about myself and admit to what kind of husband and father I am. By believing and admitting that I am the problem in this marriage I can start to change. I see the pain and he'll that I have put my wife through. I wanted to believe it wasn't all my fault yes I have some areas to fix but it's her over reaction to everything that was the problem. I have been like Joel sitting in the back of the class pointing at Kathy asking when are we going to be talking about the wives part of the problem. All of the self protection and throwing blame off onto anyone or anything is coward
  4. I will be working on this tonight when I have access to a computer. I see what you and Ophelia are saying and how I have missed the mark with the apology letter. I will post up my first draft as soon as possible.
  5. I can do that. I have already written a apology letter for this week, Ophelia and I have been doing the apology letter a little different I think. We keep a running account of what has came up in the last week. We are supposed to have a date night tonight and apology letter tomorrow. We have found that keeping them on separate nights is better.
  6. Today I didn't put my wife first with something I asked her about a few days ago and she said she would consider it but she needed time to think about it. When asked about it today by a outside source I went ahead and scheduled it breaking that commitment I made with my wife. I didn't have her heart before mine, and hurt her. I didn't show any difference in my actions when being called out, with push back and explaining. Ophelia also pointed out how I wasn't keeping up with the DVD's or apology letter this week, those are basics that I didn't make happen. I am being accountable here about h
  7. Thanks David, and your right on. I will post more about how right you are after some time has passed. Right now I'm being steady and loving Ophelia as she observes me.
  8. It is. I don't know how things will go, I'm not in control. I know who is though and I know what is required of me.
  9. Last night God showed Himself in a very real way to me, while Ophelia was praying with me. I'll write about this in more detail later after some time has passed. Since then I have had a very sweet time with Ophelia and a great day pouring out love to her. She is responding great but is observing to see where this goes.
  10. I get that if my heart would have been towards my wife I would have listened the first time around. I just received some great council from a local pastor about salvation, sanctification, and real repentance is not penance. It's turning around and getting on the right road everytime I realize I'm going the wrong way. When I realize and just get feeling sorry for myself in sackcloth and ashes but stay sitting in the middle of the wrong road is being oh woe is me, because I never get on the right road.
  11. Ophelia talked with me this morning about how my fruits show that I'm not saved and I've tried to get saved over and over. I again lied to her this morning saying my son might have overheard me taking vacation for the marriage intensive. I knew he did and he told me after the call that I should go to a bunch of them and that shows that my heart is the real issue here. Until I get this settled, I will not be able to win this war against my flesh. I have asked about going to another intensive and I will, but I know that this is a issue of my heart. I will be coming clean before everyone and God
  12. I am struggling with the flesh in the moment, we will have great days but the first time something comes up instead of it being a bump I am not humble. Ophelia told me how I touch her is everything with initiating. She needs me to slowly add foreplay throughout the day before she can respond to me asking her like John suggested. She told me how I'm like a dead fish or like a how are you touch and that's not sexy. Yesterday I hugged her in a way she expressed to me over and over that she hates. I gave her a hug while she was doing something in the kitchen pinning her arms down. By my doing th
  13. After last nights call, I'm going to post what I'm doing and our forward progress. John and Susan helped so much. This is all about Ophelia and not about me being right. Being right means we both loose.
  14. I'm sorry for posting this statement in a way that would make me look good and not the truth that it was the way I was looking at her not the actual kissing.
  15. Ophelia just called me out for crazy making and lying here. Where I said she was creeped out from kissing her neck it wasn't the kissing her neck it was the way I was looking at her while I was kissing her neck.
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