XDAWG_15

I agree and that's the attitude I'm choosing in the moment. To do the right thing in God's eyes and if my feelings toward her change, then they change. I guess I was interjecting my own feelings in that statement. Because,that's the truth of where I am at the moment and doing what I felt like is how I ended up here in the first place. I do enjoy spending time with her and talking with her. She's very funny, very bright and is a blast spend time with. Hopefully, I'll be given more opportunities to do so in the future. I think that the relationship we have now is exactly what she wants from me f

Thank you for the kind words, firewalker. That decision wasn't fully my wisdom at work. UT and FHFH were huge factors in helping me with that situation. Their continued encouragement to do the right thing and see the truth. It was their wisdom that saw what was going on and my wisdom was to listen to their wisdom. It's a huge blessing to have two friends like them in my life. I think our relationship is better now than it was in the last few years of our marriage, which is amazing. Im still uncertain where my heart is for her as a wife. But, I know I need to make myself available to her for th

Sounds like wisdom.

My ex-wife and I ended up talking for 4 hours last night face to face. She shared more last night than she ever has or maybe I was able to hear more last night than I ever have. There was so much that she said and shared, I'm still processing through it all. We spoke about why I ended the relationship I was currently in. She asked why I ended it. My initial answer didn't satisfy, she kept pressing and I told her that there are still places in my heart connected to her but I am not trying to pursue her that way. I told her that there are things that I'm supposed to give back to her. She told m

June, I've started on the list of things that she deserved from me within the marriage. It's the initial ideas right now but wanted to see if I was on the right track. I'm sure more will come to me later. What she deserved: My unconditioinal support emotionally. Affection without expectations. To have her hand held in public. To have eyes only for her. Absolute and total access to my heart and mind. Safety and security to share her innermost thoughts and feelings. To know that she was beautiful. A smile from me every time I came home from work. Kindness Gentleness Faithfulness

I could not give her all of me, there are still places in my heart that are connected to my ex wife and there are some things that haven't been walked out yet. I was beginning the same old pattern with this one that I began with my ex-wife, hiding my heart and where I was.

I'm no longer in a relationship with the woman I was seeing. I understand how I went about this like it was a check list instead of it being the desire of my heart. Maybe there is a disconnect within me. Whether its fear, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness etc...I tend to approach others from that perspective instead of it coming from within me.

Kimberly, thank you for taking the time to write all of that and sharing that revelation. I think the thought of God being a hopeless romantic is spot on. You were right, I was scared.

June, I am working on the apology and the list of what she deserved as a wife from me. I'm starting with the list of what she deserved from me it should help me gain a better hold of how I hurt her. Then write the apology from there. I've been crazy busy here with work and kids and haven't found a quiet moment to give it the time it deserves. I'm on vacation this week and will have plenty of time to work on it. Kimberly, You heard correctly here. She is that amazing and one of the most gifted people I've ever met and my insecurities certainly came to the forefront in her prese

I am more like the man in verse 6 than I'd like to admit.

One more thing...Work on your stuff. Immerse yourself in The Word, listen to worship music, start running or some kind of physical exercise to help with the stress, serve your children and allow God to show Himself to you in a real and tangible way.

It's always the position of the heart, not the words. When my kids come to me for a need they don't have a huge vocabulary, but I can tell and hear what they're heart is saying. I don't act based upon their grammar, I act based upon their need. Same thing goes with Him. He wants you to share where you are and be with Him. The more you're with Him, the clearer you'll hear His voice. Check out James 1 and James 5:15.

Waiting...read your last post wanted to share something from my thread hope it helps Another valuable friend gave me this to use as a life line too...Psalm 50:15 Praying for you and your family.

I checked the court records and there is nothing showing that my ex is divorced from her second husband. Neither party has even filed...

Thanks for taking the time to read my thread and glad you found it facinating. My life is anything but normal... However God views my marital status, I'm not so sure asking my ex-wife out would be good for her. First, she may hit her head on something when she faints. Secondly, she would not be pleased if I did ask her out. She's made it more than clear that is not something she wants from me. Violating that boundary would only serve to hurt her. Nevermind the fact that I have no interest as a partner anymore. Her car is in the shop and she needed a ride to work. I offered her the use of my