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God Save My Marriage

Aslan's Child

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About Aslan's Child

  • Rank
    Moderator
  • Birthday September 17

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    RainbowDancer70@msn.com

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  • Gender
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  • Location
    Illinois
  • Interests
    Scrapbooking, crafts, reading, camping
  1. Oh, thank you all so much! And thanks for remembering my birthday! I can't remember what I read shortly after I've read, so please forgive me for not responding to each person individually. I am here every so often to "check" in, but I don't stay for very long because I can't "process" for any lentght of time. I can't tell you what it means to me to read your words of love and encouragemtn. I often feel very lonly and isolated, and reding your words today touched my heart. I am looking forward to the day my mind clears nad I can type without struggling. We've switched Dr.s, but
  2. Thanks, Son-Worshipper and Plans For Hope. I appreciate your prayers and support very much! The last couple of months have been brutal. I've been unable to do much more than go to work. My energy has been almost completely drained. This last month has been especially tough because of Lyme Fog. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's like your head is full of cotton, and thinking takes a lot of concentrated effort. I haven't been on the forums because of the fatigue and fog. Even typing is difficult. My fingers used to fly over the keyboard. Now, I have to correct typos l
  3. Hi, dear friend. I'm so sorry to hear about your health troubles on top of everything else you're going through. And I very much appreciate the support. I came here to offer help, but find just trying to type exhausting right now. I went in for an IV Vitamin C treatment Saturday, and felt much better yesterday, but today, I'm back to feeling drained. I go in for the second Chelation Treatment today. they say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger - when I get through this I'll be as strong as Hercules! I go in for a follow-up appointment at the end of the month, at which point I
  4. I don't have a marriage "problem" so much as a challenge LO and I need to face, and I need some input. Many of us wives have quite challenging health issues from years in a bad marriage. My marriage is restored, and quite happy. We are doing so much better than we ever have. We have some things we're still working through, but we are working through them. However, as many of you know, I have been fighting fatigue for many years. Joel and Kathy have prayed over me, our church has prayed over me, John and I have prayed, but no healing has come. I get better for awhile, and then feel wor
  5. Oh, no, no, no! Sweetie, I was not criticizing or condemning you at all! Oh, I'm so sorry! I was afraid you'd take it that way. Before LO and I separated, I used to find myself criticizing him and putting him down in front of others. I hated the words that came out of my mouth, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop. I also worked very hard on not putting myself down, not being negative, filling myself up with positive thoughts, prayed all the time, etc, but nothing stopped the negative, self-defeating, self-hatred. I couldn't do it, not as long as LO was feeding me death.
  6. Hey, Sweet Big Sis! I just spent some time catching up in your world. When we switched over to this new system, I completly lost you! I just spent quite some time on Pooh's thread blasting him. Let me know if I was too harsh. I don't know a whole lot about teenagers, but I was thinking maybe Owl needs something to make him feel good about himself. Maybe find something he's good at that also makes him feel needed ~ ironing, cooking, art, gardening. Give him something that he alone is responsible for. I don't know if it will help or not, it's just a thought. You asked me to
  7. Pooh, I hesitate to even post here, because I doubt that you are even reading. Where are you? Why are you neglecting your bride? I am so disappointed in you. I believed in you. I believed you love your wife. You know, LO used to get so angry at the women when they would post harsh truths to me. He would yell and complain, but because he was not posting, the women could only respond to the hurt they saw pouring out of me. Pooh, you said you needed sledghammer wake-up calls. Here you go: BY NOT POSTING, YOU ARE TELLING EVERYONE WHO READS YOUR THREAD THAT YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR WIFE!
  8. Dear, dear Quiver, Welcome back! I'm so sorry to hear about all that you are continuing to go through. I don't know how to help with your son's behavior, but I have some thoughts about the seizures. I had a friend who started having seizures for no reason when I was in college. It wasn't until many years later that I remembered how she loved the smell of permanant markers and other strong smelling things. I also remembered having read an article about teens sniffing things that seemed harmless, like a stupid marker. Unfortunately, my friend is gone, and I did not make these connections
  9. Glad to hear DW is doing better! I hope, C2, that you didn't feel like I was faulting you for not healing. I'm sorry. What I meant was that you can only heal when DW is doing his part. No matter what we as wives' do, we cannot heal unless our husbands are consistently laying their lives' down for us. I hope today went better. If not, get on a call as fast as you can. Even if you think it's so late the call is over, try anyway. Sometimes the calls go very late. Keep up the good work of holding his feet to the fire (by getting him on the calls) and praising him when he's doing well.
  10. Having suffered with depression most of my life, I'm not sure I'm the best to help you here, but I'll do my best. As a wife, I heal from depression as my husband feeds me life and strength. A husband heals from depression by being the souce of life and strength to his wife. If she is not available, then you keep fighting those negative thoughts with everything you have in you, because if you let them take any root whatsoever, it will show to your bride, and it will end up destroying her when you do have contact with her. I hear a lot of despair coming through in this post. I am not criti
  11. Hi, C2. I'm so sorry you're going through all this! At this point in your recovery, you should not be fighting at all, let alone daily. Maybe DW needs a refresher Intensive. Are things any better at all since the call? If not, you may need to go dark for awhile to bring DW back around. A call to Joel and Kathy might be needed, too. DW, if you're reading this, please ask God to get into your heart and show you what's going on. John and I never fight, at all, anymore! Have you asked God to remove the blinders from your eyes? I heard a man who sincerely wants a happy marriage, but who
  12. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. From your posts, I hear a sincere man who is trying so hard to learn and grow and make up for his past mistakes. LO says when he finally "got it", he knew he got it, but he had to be patient until I knew he got the message. L has free will, as we all do. I begged God to change LO's heart with all my soul, and he finally showed me that all men have free will, and God will not interfere with that. He will show up. He will give us guidance. He will even send people and circumstances into our lives to draw us to Him, but ultimately, it is our choice, a
  13. Oh, Livia! I'm so excited for you! I do pray this is the breakthrough Ed so desperately needs! All our love to you both! Susan and John
  14. Hi, Lacey, welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Many men get angry when they first hear this message, my husband, LO sure did. Divorce is for restoration, and is a last resort. There are other things you can do first. 1) Read or listen to The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His and Livin' It & Lovin' It yourself so that you can learn where the breakdown in your marriage was. 2) Get yourself on the conference calls. If you can get your husband on as well, all the better. I finally had to tell LO I would only talk to him on the conference calls because
  15. Lots of work, I thought this might give you some insight as to how your wife is feeling. One minute I was so sure I couldn't take anymore, and the next, I was afraid I was giving up too soon. I lived in a constant state of fear and pain and confusion. If you haven't yet, you might want to start reading in the section "Ministry to Women Whose Husbands are Working Against the Marriage". It will give you some insights into the pain and confusion wives' feel. I've told you before that men and women feel things differently. The pain a wife feels during a separation is so much greater becau
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