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God Save My Marriage

Crystal

Helpers Group
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About Crystal

  • Rank
    HELPER
  • Birthday September 29

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    midwest, USA
  1. Mary Jane, i hear what you're saying, i think. The wavering is a habit, is that what you mean? I know that you are much more satisfied and happy with Z than you were for so very long. That's the most important! You can be yourself, just wonderful you and there's only one you. Have a blessed Christmas MaryJane and 4evr and Chooselove and whoever else may be here! Love and peace to you all!!
  2. Sandra, YOU aren't the one making the waves when you let him know his thoughtless words hurt you! Zed is the one, you know. Keep at him. The goal isnt that he'll stop saying thoughtless and hurtful things, though that would be awesome. The goal is for him to be eager to know when his words hurt you; For you to feel safe to tell him. He'll get there if you continue helping him. I think you are maybe too quick to blame yourself when his tone or words hurt, am i right?
  3. Hi Amak! It gladdens me to read your update! Very nice! I do think its good to keep in mind your vision of a perfect marriage. It's ok to expect the best in this lifetime, it does NOT mean that you are discontent if you continue to help your relationship grow. You are the expert on relationship in your family. Keep on keein on!!
  4. I said I didn't expect to come back onto the forum, but here I am. As you may or may not know, FD and I tragically lost our youngest son this summer. Our lives will never be the same again. We miss him so much. FD has been a great husband and friend during this time. A thing like this would have destroyed us completely not that long ago. But as far as our marriage, it seems God has prepared us for such a time. I love FD's hugs, his tenderness and his new found vulnerability + strength = manliness! We've had some tough days since we suddenly without prior warning became instant emp
  5. Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry that this thread (Crystal and Freedog) is full of poison and anger and unhappiness. It's not a healthy thread to look at. But... FD and I don't live in that poison garbage heap anymore. We care about each other and life is pretty good. Celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary with some of our most favorite people in May. Expecting our first grandbaby this summer, a little girl. I don't expect to return here to this forum, though we care about you all very much and I think I'll never forget you. It's just time for me to move on. Thanks t
  6. There's also the "little thing" of Steve hugely betraying this ministry (which includes me) and for that I also feel a lot of disappointment. It no way compares to the grief he put on you, Melissa and on his own kids, but it's there and it should be mentioned. This ministry takes a lot of blows from the world. God is faithful and his Love is true.
  7. Eeyore, It's great to hear from you! I've missed you. This explains so much about WHY you felt such intense struggle and felt so insecure and estranged from Steve even though he was talking the talk. I am so sorry to hear of his betrayal of you and your family, but I hear tremendous strength now in your voice that I feel relief for you. Isn't it great to feel rational again? Strangely I don't feel sad about your separation, the truth feels so much better than his pretending and you trying to accept his pretense. I'm thankful for your job and your friends and family around you! Welcome
  8. Sadly, pastors/counselors have found that it's easier to turn a wife into a great husband than (they think) it is to turn a man into a great husband. We girls are often willing to forsake all, forgive all and sacrifice all, but it doesn't change anything in the marriage if the man has the option to remain a little boy. Your husband is perfectly able to become a man of God and husband of your dreams if given the right tools, which is what Joel and Kathy generously provide. I wonder if the pastor would be willing to talk to Joel?
  9. At least that's what I think you might be telling me. You are absolutely welcome to always let me know if I'm EVER out of line here on on the other thread. Hopefully the guys are following his thread now. I understand what you mean that he already knows what he needs to know and he seems to be looking for some explanation for his "inability". That is so typical of these guys. The guys on his thread now, Joel included have all been where he is and they know his tactics personally. Anyhow, I hope we can keep in touch here.
  10. I deeply apologize for my tone! I knew from your first post that you are a godly strong woman and I don't have any right to be condescending! You are an inspiration and you are not reacting rashly! Thank you for letting me know that I was talking down to you!!
  11. I hope you know that I don't mean you have to decide right now! Just things to think about.
  12. I've made redundant posts many times, it's annoying. I've learned to open two windows when I post, one to post from and the other to see if it's posted or not. I don't like asking this question: "Why are you still in the marriage?" Thank you for sticking with me and answering. It really all comes down to that question and basically once you get to this forum you really need to think about it. You have three options. 1.) You can keep things the way things are. 2.) You can free yourself from the marriage. 3.) You can stir things up and "work on" the marriage. Option one is what y
  13. He emotionally divorced you years ago. You are an abused wife. Why are you still in the marriage?
  14. I'm happy you had a great Christmas with family!! I didn't host anything for Christmas this year either, not one thing. It was nice. I don't like Christmas planning, decorations and stuff so it was nice not to feel like I had to decorate. My daughter in law and my sister enjoyed hosting and I enjoyed being their guest. I feel sort of guilty because we still have one son at home, I feel like I should be jolly and decorate for his benefit -- that's not reasonable, he's 18 and doesn't care one way or the other, it's just my own feeling. Anyhow, glad your Christmas was stress-free too!! L
  15. Well said, God's Phoenix!!! amak, I am sorry I haven't followed your thread too closely, because I saw that 4evr and MJ were helping you. which thread is your husband's?
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