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God Save My Marriage

OG

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  1. Thanks Ladies for your support. It was very emotional to seperate but I have come to find comfort in it. I feel as though I have a right now to walk away from the drama. I feel a little more independent too. I know he doesn't like it or approve but it's where I am. I am till searching for that something that will make me want to return, but right now I can't see it. Yes I have noticed a few changes but evidently not the ones that must matter the most because I am no closer today then I was in Oct when we first seperated. Our last trip back to visit my Family (my Grandmother was Ill) was an
  2. Actually still here. Don't know why tho. I guess some part of me thinks I'll read something that will make a difference in his post. He has been better. Been nice and thoughtful. The month of Feb was one of the worst months I've had. I realized that I am stuck. I can't move forward. Can't move backward. And hate riding fences! I have never been a fence rider! I despise them! Pick a Side! Well I am riden high these days and I can't move off it. I'm disgusted!
  3. I appreciate your comments. I read His this morning and it infuriates me! First off...I am not involved with any other man! The man that was on the receiving end is like a brother no romantic interest as H portrays. I agree I shouldn't have sent it and I have apologized as well as to the guy for being inappropriate. The SF is half my age and an old coworker who is in the military and was proud of where he is now. He's a young kid that I helped out while he was here. The B is someone I did have converstions with when H first dropped the bomb on me over 2 years ago and I woke up! That re
  4. Well I am back on here needing advice ladies. I have finally gone thru all the emotions and now I am just numb. I am in no mood to work on being the helpmeet my husband needs right now. I have confusing emotions because I know I am not back. I have no desire for him... he killed that a couple of years ago as well as any pieces that will rekindled ....he killed again a couple months ago. So now I find myself frustrated and lonely. I had a few guy friends that I could talk to that gave me a perpesctive on what he must be feeling but now I don't even have that. Having guy friends was always
  5. Let me say I thought I had felt every emotion there is possible to feel in the past six weeks (2 yrs) but I am proven wrong again! We have seperated and I felt like that was at least a direction but since we have seperated he is trying to be this Nice guy and do things for me...buy me things...surprise me with things.... and to be honest it's upsetting! I'm not ready for him to be Mr. Nice Guy! Where was Mr. Nice Guy the last 16 years? Our Anniv is in two weeks and every time I think of it I cry. I can't celebrate it! I can't feel blessed and happy I have it! I don't even want to look o
  6. Good Morning, Thanks for the responses. I feel like I am just too nice and still reluctant to spill my heart with him. (I am getting better) We have been married for 14 years this year and have two little boys. We are both in our 40's. I picked him up from the airport last night cuz it was the right thing to do and I did want to see him. But I dropped him and the boys off at the door and left without coming inside. I didnt want to be home with him. I didn't have any real plans just didn't want to be here. I ended up sitting in a pub watching a football game! haha I wasn't sure if I was
  7. It's been a while since I have been on here. My Husband has been posting and it brings me to tears to think we have truly hit this point. He took a trip for work where he was gone for three weeks. Before he left I was feeling better about our situation. We had a couple of really close nights where I truly wanted to reconnect with him. It was nice. Something I haven't felt in a very long time. I wasn't worried when he left cuz we were on a path and I truly saw changes in him since he had been reading your books and blogging on the website. Finally something was working. But three days a
  8. Wasn't sure if I should post on here but after reading what my husband wrote I felt inspired to tell my side of the story. Everyone seems to have a simular story. He often tells me that I am not unique and that just saddens me more so. It's shame that they're aren't fewer of us. I have been married to my Prince for almost 14 years. We had a rocky start coming from very different back grounds and religons but I felt he rescued me so I was willing to bend where necessary. Over the years I have done just that. I was the wife my Mother told me I should be. (Clean house, take care of kids,
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