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God Save My Marriage


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Everything posted by Taz

  1. Well, September 16th came and Jane and I were married! Everything from the pre-wedding preparations, the wedding and reception, and the 2 1/2 week Hawaiian honeymoon was wonderful! And now as we begin our married life together we are thoroughly enjoying ourselves. When I met Jane I asked to to read Joel and Kathy's first book and told her that that is how I want our marriage to be, "outrageously happy". I can honestly say (and she would concur) that we are very happy and are taking the steps to ensure we stay on the right path to experience an "outrageously happy" marriage all the time.
  2. It's been quite a while since I last posted so here is a brief update. I have been deployed to Kuwait for 8 months now and even though I am away from family and friends, this has been a remarkable time of growth for me. I have been fortunate in that the chaplains here at the base chapel are Spirit filled men of God who speak the Word boldly and even have alter calls! They are striving to ensure that all who will listen hear of the amazing gift that God has for us all in His Son Jesus. It has truly been a blessing. I have only heard once from Margie (freej)when she was looking for some
  3. Thanks for all the encouragement, I know that I am on the right track. I know that if I continue to filter everything I do through God's word, I'll be able to stay on course. We all need to make a decision on who we are going to follow and serve and I choose JESUS! He is the only one who has the answers to all our issues. It is just plain great to have Him to turn to in any and all situations. I'm glad that I am redeemed and I know that Jesus has many blessings in store for me! I'm leaving Ft. Bragg in the morning to head back home for a few weeks and finish up the last minute items tha
  4. One more week to go on my pre-deployment training and then I'll be home for a couple of weeks before heading to the actual mobilization station to do the final preparations for the year long deployment. Doing very well now. Joined a divorce recovery group (DivorceCare) at a local church before I left and have been getting daily emails that help you deal with the feelings and issues that arise due to a spouse leaving. It was great to find a biblically based program locally. I was able to attend a few of the classes before I left and I took the book (and the audio CD of all the sessions) wi
  5. Hey SSGVinyard, Just back in from the field and this is the first time I've had to spend any significant time time on a computer (the access is lousy where I'm at right now). I hope you have taken to heart what the other forum members have told you and have begun the work that you need to do on YOU! I know it is hard but, you can do it. I only have a couple of minutes and then I will be offline for a few more days due to an upcoming mission. Hang in there.
  6. Hey SSG Vinyard, I am SGM Taz. I am currently at my pre-mob training and will be deploying to theater in the May time frame. Very busy right now as you can well understand. The folks here will do everything they can to help you. I understand the feelings you are experiencing as your world seems to be crumbling down around you. No one here can guarantee that your marriage can be saved. BUT, we do serve a great God who loves us and wants the best for us. Each of us has our own will, yours right now wants to reconcile your marriage, what your wife is experiencing may not be on the same
  7. Thanks for the invite but my days are unpredictable due to the training we are doing and I can't leave the area without prior approval. Hope the meeting goes well.
  8. Hey everyone, just a quick update on what's been going on. I'm in Atlanta now for the first phase (which is finishing up today) of my pre-deployment training. The Army bought the soldier's families in this weekend (from all over the country) to go over the details of the deployment and to connect them with all the services that are available to them while we are deployed. I was amazed at how much is available, from subsidized day care, camps for kids, tuition assistance for spouses, professional financial counselling, professional family and marriage counselling, and so much more. All f
  9. Freej, If by chance you come back here to the forum, I wanted to leave you a message. Even though our divorce is final, that does not have to be the end for us. I am still praying that your eyes will be opened and your heart softened so that you can see that God is waiting with open arms for you to come back to Him so he can begin the healing process and bring you back into right relationship with Him. He loves you and wants you back just as you are. He can take our circumstances and weave them into something beautiful if we would just truly give Him a chance. I know that I stil
  10. Thanks Dory, Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." NKJV I don't know the details of what lies ahead for me, but I do know who is leading me and I trust Him implicitly. I don't understand why everything has happened the way is has, but I know that He has everything under control. So, I am standing on God's word as I confidently expect to see His blessings being poured out into my life. Whatever is coming, it's going to be GREAT!
  11. I got home from my army reserve meeting today and found the final divorce decree document in my mailbox. Ironically it was dated for the day after our anniversary. Even though I knew that this was coming, it still brought tears to my eyes as I looked at that document which said our marriage was over. A whole lot of emotion flooded through me of great saddness at the loss of my wife and all the hopes and dreams we had talked about. I also felt so bad that I never had the opportunity to put into practice what I have learned this past year in being a great husband to her. For now I just h
  12. Aspiewife/Sharon, Thanks for your encouragement and that's a great idea. Once I get in country I will hopefully be able to get in touch with a chaplain there and see what programs they have going on to help strengthen marriages while soldiers are deployed. I'm sure there will be opportunities to get some materials into the hands of who will need them. I'll contact Looney if I find I am allowed to distribute material. I appreciate your offer to help my daughter out while I am gone. Thank you!
  13. Thank you for your words of encouragement Kimberly. February 3rd was freej's and my 14th wedding anniversary and it was a tough day for me. I sent her a card just to let her know that even though the divorce will be final in the next day or two, I still love her and am saddened by the fact we are not together. I don't know what the future holds but as long as I am going into that future with Jesus leading me, I know that I am going to be all right! Thanks to all for your continued prayers.
  14. It's been over three months since my last posting and a lot has happened. Freej is still with Gordon and they have purchased a house together and have moved from Alabama to Tennessee. Our divorce will most likely be final by the end of the first week of February 2010. Each time I have had contact with freej I have let her know that I still love her and that I don't want this divorce. All she has to do is say the word and we could stop it. But at this point, it looks like the divorce is going to go through and later this year she will marry Gordon. I am so thankful that I was directe
  15. 1SM is at a men's retreat at our church. I've been talking to hime and I am hoping that the things we learn this weekend will jumpstart him along the path he needs to take.
  16. 1SM, Hi, when we last talked at church I told you that you don't have to do this alone, you can call me anytime to talk and get encouragement. Since I last called you to give you a wake up call to be begin working on the list your wife gave you and encourage you, it sounds like you have not moved the needle much toward Looney. You know my situation, and you know how I longed for an opportunity to be able to apply what I've been taught. I got a brief opportunity before my wife left and she KNOWS that something definitely has changed in me. She just does not have the ability to accept tho
  17. Thank you for all your encouragement. Freej is still very precious to me and I would like nothing more than to heal her heart and love her back to a full and vibrant life and marriage. However, I need her to be able to do that. Right now she does not want me and does not feel anything for me. The past hurts I caused in our marriage are to much for her to bear. Even though she saw changes in me, she's not convinced that those changes will continue to manifest themselves for the rest of our lives. And I can certainly understand her fear. She would need to open herself up, trust me, a
  18. Thanks Kay, it was Kim who was providing encouragement and advice. No sleep last night made me a little forgetful this morning. Thanks for your prayers.
  19. Freej, Thanks for posting your feelings. I am very sorry I made you feel guilty about dancing on Monday nights and I don't want you to feel guilty for any request you make. You are right, I should have just offered to sign us up for the lessons and then let you ask any questions about the life group. Dory is absolutely right, you deserve this and spending time with you is what I want to do. As we go forward, before I agree to any activity that will take time away from US, we will talk about it and you will be able to safely voice your opinion before any decision is made. Just like we di
  20. Spoke to freej at lunch today and she said she was fine with what took place concerning the ballroom dancing and did not feel that I was putting on an air of superiority over her. But thanks for the input, I'll remember your advice so that it does not happen in the future.
  21. Hi Dory, thanks for your input. Freej had mentioned to me before (after she returned home) that she wanted to resume the dance lessons. I had no idea that what I did would make it seem like I was superior to her. I will talk to her about this to find out how it made her feel and apologize to her if what you said is true. I want her to feel that she is an equal in our relationship and that she is always a part of the decision making process.
  22. It's been a week since freej has returned home and God has been right on time with what we've needed. She was able to get in to see a highly recommended psychiatrist almost immmediatly which has put her mind at ease because now she knows what she has been dealing with. She is doing a lot of talking (and me doing a lot of listening ) to pour out what's going on inside. Sometimes what she has to say is hard but, this is not about me, it's about her and bringing healing to her heart. I just listen, give her hugs, and let her know that I'm here for her. One of the things that freej want
  23. Thanks for everyone's support. And Dory, my head has not swelled. I know that the events that have occured are due to the move of the Holy Spirit and nothing that I have done. I have to continue to daily walk out this process and apply what I have learned so far and that is what I am doing. I know you all will keep me on my toes and make sure I stay on the right path. Thanks again!
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