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God Save My Marriage


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About Burnin'man

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    Believing God for Miracles in Marriages

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    Long Beach, CA
  1. This is firewalker: He is not even following my thread. Maybe now he will receive it. Can you spell Initiative?
  2. I have been involved with J&Ks and Ken Nairs ministries for over 2 years and I think you can boil down the main theme of them is living with your wife in an understanding way. When ever you are with your wife you need to ask yourself if you are being with her in an understanding way. When you are frustrated, angry or on edge, asking your self this question will allow to realize if you are focusing on yourself in a selfish way or considering the feelings of you wife. It terms of Christlikeness this can be applied to situations with others as well. It's not easy to shift from focusing on our
  3. My wife is going to contact your wife to get me your number. However, your brother in law has my phone number if you want to get it from him. I don't know how busy he is with work currently, but I presume he's out of school for the holidays and reachable. God is very creative at getting our attention in order to teach us the many ways we have and continue to hurt our wives. It is very difficult to recognize these opportunities and even harder to sit in them and allow them to teach us. Talk to you soon and stay in the humble place teachable place. Burn'inman, Firewalker's Severely Arrested H
  4. Scott, I guess I'm one of the few men here to know all of the players in this group. I find it interesting that you gave your brother in law items for your wife and he recently attended an intensive himself. I'm not fully in the loop but I can imagine that God is doing some crazy stuff in that house currently. It was good seeing you at church Sunday and I'm encouraged to hear about your heart felt recognition. I'm sorry that I didn't witness the beginning of the transformation. I will say that it is very hard to stay on the operating table though. It is very easy to slip back into the woe is m
  5. I continue to set the standard for what arrested development can look like. I still greatly struggle with my flesh and yesterday was an excelent example. I reacted very poorly to your email yesterday and was not mature enough to inquire for clearification. As I mentioned last night, I did reach out to Dave from Life Partners, but that has yet to provide useful support. so bottom line as I also mentioned last night I am sorry for my reaction yesterday, the pain I've caused you that has gotten us here and continues to show up. I am purposing to show up for you this weekend and look forward to
  6. Most all of the men in this program have expressed this at some point whether outloud or not. But then isn't that what dieing to oneself is? When we refer to Christ dieing for use he literally did, now we need to kill our flesh, old man, old nature, arrested development or whatever else you want to call it and grow up. In the begining we will feel depressed and sad regarding the pain our wives feel because of how it affects us, but real growth comes when we begin to empathise with our wife's pain and take that on ourselves for her. Below is a link I think demonstrates how the begining of recog
  7. Possibly growing up as an only child has helped create the selfish person I've grown up to be. Although I never thought of myself as selfish because I've always been busy helping others. Whether at work, church or at times even around the home/house. I am Mr. Doin' it or Fix It. I've often been good at doing things particularly for others, but horrible at being. Joel's teaching about being arrested in my development is so evident in not want to meet my wife's need particularly since they remind me of my mom. My parents had a functional relationship at best and there certainly was no displays
  8. I still have a long ways to go and anytime I even start to believe I'm doin' well is setting myself up for a fall. I don't need something to point to up on a shelf, my trophy is Kim and if she is shining then I'm doin' well. Thanx for the thought though. More to come later.
  9. Joel has occasionally referred to me (John west coast) as the worst of the worst. So this is who he is talking about. We attended J&K seminar in January of 08 and later that month I started attending Ken Nair's group. His group Life Partners also believes in the 3 year process. Their classes are once a week for 3 years, so it makes a great way to keep focused on changing. There are teachings and group (circle time) discussions. This is really based on men learning how to be Christ like, not marriage counseling, but most of the discussions are marriage related anyway. I am currently observ
  10. I too am a John that is slowly working at being Christlike. Joel has deemed me the worst he has ever experienced, yet I am fortunate to be living in my house, seeing my children daily and sleeping with my wife. We too were separated for a short time. It amazes me how God designed the woman's heart to desire relationship with her husband even after the extreme pain we put them through. Joel continually brings new examples to the men's calls that demonstrates this principle over and over again. God gave you her to be your helpmeet, the more humble and contrite you are for her to vent and heal in
  11. Hi Gem, We must be kindred spirits in the vacuum department. In the bad old days, my husband was a controlling penny pincher and a when I needed a new vacuum he said no. So one day, when I was vacuuming, the darn thing was whining at such a pitch that I wanted to put it out of its misery. So knowing my husband's prohibition of buying a new vacuum, in my frustration, I started violently crashing the dreaded machine, smashing it with all my might into the floor. Unfortunately, the attachment holder broke off and the vacuum was still operational, mocking me with its whiny voice. That was m
  12. OMG, so true. I even coach my husband, but he is hard to train. Every morning he tries to tell me "Good morning, beautiful." Nice thought, good effort, but a very "cut and paste" piece of verbiage. I tell him I appreciate it, but he needs to think before he says such things. Perhaps with a bit more thought he could come up with a minimum of 20 different ways to great me in the morning that does say I am lovely. Here let me try: 1. I could look at your face for a lifetime 2. Hello gorgeous wife 3. Wow, you look __________(insert) fabulous, fantastic, stunning, f.i.n.e. fine, spectacu
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