My lovely wife Ophelia let me know that she is pretty much done with our marriage and it is all my fault. I haven't consistently followed through with the tools given to me in the intensive we went to the last week of October and I own that. I can give detailed information if needed but our biggest problems have come to a head over sex. I am a passive guy who when it comes to initiating I would either be all over her groping like a teenager or so robotic that she was repulsed to be around me. Joel had taught me that I would heal this by initiating every day giving her the voice to say yes or no. That should have been so simple. We are both in our first marriage and she has put up with 12 years of abuse. I believe I have lost the best thing that has ever happened to me and am doing everything I can to win her back now. In my dysfunction I refused to connect. I would change actions as far as chores are concerned but I never connected. When we would connect both of us would be on cloud 9 but I would break that connection within a couple of days. Joel taught me about this and I was so arrogant to think I didn't have a problem with connecting. Boy was I wrong. I should have been on the forums when I heard about them 5 months ago. I do need help walking through this as I win back the heart of my wife and my children.