Tom Posted December 11, 2007 Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Especially for the Guys - Becoming Christ-like! I wanted to share with you something that God has showing me and we talked a little about the last time we were all together. I have struggled most of my life in a reactive type emotional way because of wounds that set me up to live in a shame based indentity. If Judy didn't treat me how I thought she should treat me I would become angry and react in negative ways towards her, developing walls of bitterness that would cause her and I both pain and a lose of oneness. Remember what I was saying about how God needs to be our security and He needs to be our identity as we die to ourselves and ask Him to live in us and through us. I found a great text that I wanted to share with all of you that sums this up very nicely. 2 Corinthians 3:5 (NIV) "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." Praise God my competence doesn't come from anything that I do of myself however I have alot to do to in choosing to die to myself or carnal nature and ask Christ to live in me and through me.This is a moment by moment baptism that empowers Christ to live in me and through me. In my past I have been very co-dependent on Judy and what she did or didn't do had a large effect on my my feelings. God is showing me that my competence and security comes first from Christ and then with that power in me I can then agape love my wife as Christ has told me to do. I know longer expect Judy to do certain things and I can overlook my perceieved wrongs that she does to me and be free of bitterness,walls and self-pity. I haven't arrived yet however am seeing amazing things happen in this area as I seek to die to self on a moment by moment basis. I encourage you to give 100 percent to God and allow your security and competency to come from Him. This has allowed me to be the man that Christ wants me to be with the supernatural power to agape love my wife as Christ loves the church but remember that this works as long as I am able to use my will to choose to allow Christ to live in me and this means moment by moment surrender of my will to His power. I care about each one of you and am praying for you this week. I am looking forward to our monthly meetings where we can pray and discuss important biblical principals and how they will help in our relationships. Love, Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 Hi Men- I struggle just like you with temptations that come from the carnal nature that I was born into. I feel the struggle especially as I have come forward and ask God each day to search my heart and test my mind and point out anything that offends Him and to point me along the paths of everlasting life. The key is to believe and act on that belief by coming to Christ everyday through bible study and prayer. Some of us have busier lives than others but there are ways to get that time in with Christ everyday. It is so important to develop maturity in our emotions and spirtuallity. I pray for each one of you each day because I know the struggle and how hard it is to put to death the pride and ego that permiates each one of us as Satan trys to steal, kill and destroy us. By getting to us men, Satan can destroy whole families. I admonish each of you to go deep into your heart and see if there is any know sin that is holding you back from having that freedom that God wants you to have. I love each one of you. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HumblePie Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 Tom, Thank you for thoughts and insights. I liked your L.E.A.R.N. acrostic so much that I printed it and tacked it to my office wall. A daily reminder can only do me good. That is my kind of advice. Short, to the point, and practical. In Christ,Nate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 Tom, will you go to the "Men working to win their wife's heart" subject and give them a link to this post in your section? You can make it a "sticky" post so it sticks to the top - like an announcement, letting men know they can come here and read your posts. Another thing you could do, is to put a copy of this whole subject in that section, by using one of the features. I am experimenting. I found a way to use a "moved" and leave as shadow and you can put a copy of the whole string in that section. Either way is fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Tom Those are such great posts. I am not sure if you have been following my situation but I acted like a 4 year old throughout my 13 year marriage which has now ended. I also allowed myself to be involved deeply with sexual sin and understand why my former wife wants nothing to do with me. I find it hard that I was even calling myself a Christian and playing church when I was leading a double life of lies and adultery. I agree with you so much that I never realized the depth of what Christ did for us on the cross and how amazing grace really is. I for the first time in my life am having devotions daily and Oswald is a big part of that. Please pray I will continue on this journey and not look for positive things from my former wife to continue on. I pray so much for her but I know that now that I am divorced I dont have the opportunities as much to focus on her as I would like. Something a pastor friend told me was that God for the first time is getting a relationship with me and maybe saying do you see why I allowed your sin to be revealed now that you are realying on me more than ever. I also wonder if he has not restored my relatinship because I am still so selfish and so carnal that I would not bring healing to my wife. I am not sure but I know I never would have sought God as much as I have if I never was divorced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Hi sandeigo thanks for your remarks and sharing with me some of your thoughts. I agree God uses pain to get our attention. I have come to realize that what I want more than anything else in life is to have a relationship with Jesus. With this always in my mind I find myself welcoming trials realizing that when they come I "wakeup" to my carnal self and see many things that need to be changed in my flesh. I then can choose the right paths and make Godly decisions that will lead to life not death. Praise God for your perception of God-le-ness at this time sandeigo. It does take time and if your identity is tied up in Christ you will persevere even when the testing comes like it is for you right now and you will see the incredible harvest when "Gods" timing is seen. You know sandeigo that God has a incredible purpose for your life and continue to gain Godly knowledge and put that knowledge into action by dying to the flesh and be born again moment by moment. I am going on four years of yielding myself to God consistently and it does get easier. God's promises are true if we obey His commands. Your brother in Christ, Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandiego Posted January 25, 2008 Report Share Posted January 25, 2008 Tom Thank you so much for your posts. I cant beleive I have been reading the bible and doing church for most of my life and until now truly realized how I never have had a passion and a desire for an intimate relationship with God. I know part of it was the wounding I had as a child from my father about what intimacy means but that is no excuse now. I was challenged by a Pastor that we can know all the stories and scriptures but unless we are seeking God daily are we really sold out to Jesus. For me that means praying everyday and he challenged me to pray 2.5 hours every week. It is not the number but the act of finding Jesus through prayer. I could use your prayers to stay committed and challenge the other men on here to get on our knees every day and commit time to God. I am not sure of the term fall in love with Jesus but that is exactly what I want. Unfortunately I am divorced and cant take my former wifes hand or my kids hands every day to pray but I can pray over them as a covering. I just need to be careful that I am not seeking God just to restore my marraige but to truly become a person sold out to Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted January 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 Hi Sandiego,Praise God for His power. Having a relationship with God is the key to success in life. I finally have figured it out-give 100 percent to God and this means connecting with Him throughout the day through praying and study. When I started praying the prayer in Psalms 139:23,24 and let God show me what I needed to see and change I am now becoming the man that God wants me to be. What I found out was that I do now have an incredible appetite for God and it is because I have and continue to get rid of any sin that is holding me back from obeying Him. I will pray for you that your motives will be 100%t pure so you can have complete victory in Jesus. Love Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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