Peter Posted November 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 This response is all a bit of a surprise. My comment was not meant to make fun of the doctrines of this ministry, or to say that I am not willing to change. edit I had a three hour phone conversation with my wife this afternoon, the first we have had in weeks. I was able to listen to her heart and I agreed with her many times that I have been a very damaging husband to her. She told me the things I have done wrong and I agreed. I agreed to provide further financial support and told her I would pay for her education and a vacation she wants. She told me I have a very long way to go and I agreed. I told her I would continue here if she wanted me to, or we could find another source. I told her she should marry someone better than me, since I hurt her so much. I told her I needed to seek healing whether or not she divorces me. I brought flowers when I dropped the kids off and she invited me to come to the door to sign a passport application. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I wanted to die for her. I thought the whole interaction was positive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pure in Heart Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 Peter, No need to shoot the messengers.... When a peron truly belongs to the Lord, Peter...they yearn and long to possess a heart like their God...to be like Christ..to love like Him...to speak to injustice and untruth. To defend the abused. To speak to hypocrisy and falsehood. If a person's spirit is growing closer to that end; then they will see the counterfeit clearly. Many men and women here have had to take the log out of our own eye to see to take the speck out of another. God did not say, not to take the speck out, He only said to make our own eye clear first. God's Word admonishes that justice kisses the truth. That is all your brother and sisters in Christ are trying to tell you...to show you. To pull back the veil from off your eyes. To unblind you. To help unwrap you from your graveclothes. Jesus hated injustice and lack of veracity. He especially hated pharisaical attitudes that presented themselves most often in pride and arroagnce. Jesus Christ did not sidestep around with these men. He was a sraight shooter...up in their face...and even a few names thrown in for good measure. Jesus often put them in their place and openly rebuked many people....including His own disciples. Paul did the same. Even if you feel someone may have missed it...or you feel disdain for the "tone" of a post...then practice humility, Peter. You can start here..start now. Be like Jesus though insulted and mocked (for no reason...as He is PERFECT)...then like a lamb being led to the salughter..open not your mouth. Be like your Savior. If you are certainly right then God is your Judge and His Word says, he will vindicate you and defend you. We pray you stay here and begin to post your struggles to gain understanding of how to overcome them by learning to love your bride and the wife of your youth. To become a Christ-like man.... PIH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluenoser Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 This is my first post and a quick summary of my story. My wife and I and two children were working in international Christian service for three years. I was unaware that my 15 year marriage was in trouble during this time. I was not treating my wife as the precious jewel that she is, and I took her for granted. I used pornography my entire marriage. I did not sense her pain nor appreciate that I was controlling her and not cherishing her. I was not sacrificing my life for her and building her up. I worked too hard and concentrated on my own needs, not recognizing that she was unhappy. Five months ago she left me suddenly and took our children back to Canada. I was shocked and hurt and responded in anger, threatening her and trying to force her to return instead of winning her heart back. In the process, I lost my job, closed our ministry and returned to Canada. We attended the intensive but I was not willing to accept that I was to blame for our separation. Now I am living alone, trying to learn how to be a better husband, and trying to show my wife that I treat the children well when she lets me see them. She is not ready to see me yet, but we have had a few phone conversations. I am reading and praying and trying to find a job and trying to become the man God wants me to be. I am suffering tremendously. This crisis has disturbed our family and friends and children greatly. Tonight I was able to tell my wife that I would accept her staying at home with the children in future, which before embarrassed me. I also gave her a large sum of money. She is deeply wounded by me and although I don't fully understand her actions, I can see that I need to step up and die to myself for her sake. Whatever is bothering her is my problem too, and I need to change in order to make her happy in the future. This represents a big change from where I was, which was blaming her for destroying my career and trying to sue her for taking my children out of our country. I need help in winning her heart back! Please pray for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluenoser Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) We attended the intensive and live in Halifax as well. Edited August 30, 2011 by bluenoser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Hi Bluenoser - nice to see you back posting. Have wondered about you and Susan often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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