Jump to content
God Save My Marriage

Working to heal and win my wife's heart


Recommended Posts

Pooh:

 

I have been out of town and just caught up on your thread. I have been anxiously awaiting the 12 blessings. I especially liked:

 

Genteelly correct the children.

Not to Yell at all.

I was cheerful.

Gave a gift.

Rubbed and scratched her back as needed.

Was flexible in changing directions.

Asked her what she needed or wanted.

 

All the chores and projects are great too. Tigger, how did the blessings work for you?

 

Tigger, I like the way you find things and ask for Pooh’s thoughts. Seems like he is opening up more.

 

Pooh, I will ask DW how he does the mental gymnastics. He is having a real struggle doing them consistently. Sometimes he does it and I can tell immediately if he gets it or not. I think part of it is replaying the situation over and over in your mind until you see Tigger’s point of view.

 

If you are like DW you may need to do the replay out loud with Tigger. When DW does the replay he often skips things that happened or rearranges them in his mind. Asking Tigger if this is how it went down and then believing what she says is critical.

 

Blessings. Keep us posted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 508
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Tigger,

 

I am sorry that you did not get any rest today. I will continue to pray for you. I know that tomorrow is a busy day also. Please be careful and try to take it easy when you can. I miss you. It is very hard to be this far away and not be able to do anything but pray. I know that it was hard for you too. I am glad that the encounter with the parents went well. It could have gone either way with all of the stress involved. I Love you all!!!! I will continue for God hand to be on you all as I am away.

 

Your Pooh.

 

All else,

 

Our two year old foster child was taken to the hospital for surgery to remove a lodged gummy bear he was chocking on while with the birth parents. Tigger got the call and went to the hospital to be support for him and the birth parents. Last I heard he was doing good and waiting for discharge. Praise be to God for his protection and loving hand.

 

C2,

 

Thanks for the comments. I wait to hear how to do the mental gymnastics.

 

Pooh

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good job POOH!!

 

You let others know what you were talking about when writing to me. I was feeling frustrated that I was going to have to go behind you and explain, again, but ... NNNOOO you stepped up to the plate!! Way to go!! ::clap ::clap ::clap ::clap

 

It was an incredibly taxing time, but the birth parents and our family really worked together, it was all good. LOTS of stress, yes, but we did fine!! The time on the phone at home was also stressing, but I got that baby his medicine and that is all that matters!! I was ready to tear someone apart over this stupid insurance thing and/or pay the $100 myself. UGH!! This baby came close to lossing his life and they are fighting over the insurance. Bless our placement coordinator who helped me!!

 

Well I am incredibly tired, especially after being up most of the night with the 1 yr old. Got to get some sleep, it will be a tough day. My 1st appointment is at 1, so please pray, I am not looking forward to this one. I can't believe it is only Monday, it must be at least Wednesday, ugh!! Hope you slept well.

 

BLessings,

 

Your Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger,

 

Good morning my love. I miss you dearly. I can not wait to be home with you.

 

I am glad that I blessed you. It is hard to feel supportive this far from away. I feel that the little I did was nothing. I wish I could have been there to help you through better. You are a GREAT Mommy. You love your children like God loves us. It is a true inspiration. I thank and praise God daily from bringing you into my life. It has been a great honor and privilege to be married to you and make a family with you. I pray that God gives me the strength To make you feel the same way. Keep holding on I am coming to bless you. You have always blessed me. I Love You!!!!

 

I hope you sleep good. My night was not good dinner is still sitting there like a rock. It went down good but did not process through well. I pray that God gives you strength and endurance for your day. I have to get to class. I love you!!!!

 

your Pooh

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger.

 

Good morning. I am feeling a little better, just week. I do not think I am clear headed today. How was the rest of your night. I hope you were able to sleep good again.

 

I will be praying for you and the children today. I hope court goes well. (Court is for our foster children’s return to home plan) Wow it seem to be taking me a long time to move and get anything done this morning. I wanted to check in and say I Love You!!!! and I will be checking about the window tinting today for you. Have a great day I will be waiting for an update. Don’t forget to turn your cell off in court. Have a great day I miss you and the children.

 

Your Pooh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger,

 

Good Morning. I hope you slept well. I am doing a little better to day. I miss you, and wish you were with me. I tried to find the sun shade thing. Did not find much. I will keep looking. I can not wait to be home with you all. I Love You!!!! I will be calling later.

 

Your Pooh

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger,

 

Good Morning. I hope you slept well. I am doing a little better to day. I miss you, and wish you were with me. I tried to find the sun shade thing. Did not find much. I will keep looking. I can not wait to be home with you all. I Love You!!!! I will be calling later.

 

Your Pooh

 

no comment about the stresses of court??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ward & June and Others,

 

Sorry about the lack of information. Court went well the judge sided with the parents, CASA, and us, that a delay in return to home was not justified. As of August 16th the two little ones have been returned to home. We delivered the children to the parents on this last day to have a good transition for the children. It was a blessing in my heart to hear the children call mom and dad as we pulled up to their house. They were excited to see them. This eases some of the worries I had about the children being dumped with two strangers. I was unaware that this feeling was hidden but I had great Joy in my heart at those words.

 

The rest of the day was spent with our other children at the beach having a fun day of unwinding. We all had a good day. Thanks for all of the prayers.

 

Pooh and family (Tigger, Owl, KIT, owwee, and the two little one how will live in our hearts forever)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ward & June and Others,

 

Sorry about the lack of information. Court went well the judge sided with the parents, CASA, and us, that a delay in return to home was not justified. As of August 16th the two little ones have been returned to home. We delivered the children to the parents on this last day to have a good transition for the children. It was a blessing in my heart to hear the children call mom and dad as we pulled up to their house. They were excited to see them. This eases some of the worries I had about the children being dumped with two strangers. I was unaware that this feeling was hidden but I had great Joy in my heart at those words.

 

The rest of the day was spent with our other children at the beach having a fun day of unwinding. We all had a good day. Thanks for all of the prayers.

 

Pooh and family (Tigger, Owl, KIT, owwee, and the two little one how will live in our hearts forever)

 

Thank you, Pooh, for the update.

 

What I was commenting above was that your post to Tigger did not mention one word about the STRESSES that were upon her as she went to court WITHOUT you, knowing that the little ones would be released to their parents.

 

Hopefully, you are doing all you can to minister and bless Tigger -- it is very hard on her when you are not home.

 

 

June of

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello all,

 

I am sort of back here. Computer is a hit and miss kind of thing. My health has been very poor!! Understatement!!

 

Well here is my first thing I want to share. These are a couple of things that need attention.

 

-Thursday Gifts (consistently)

-Suggesting to read J&K

-Suggesting to watch J&K videos

-EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER suggesting getting on the CC

 

These are some of the things I need to bring further healing to my heart. I know POOH has not been feeling well, that has played heavy on my heart. We seem to be sick and sicker, not good for healing a marriage. Please know that he has not necessarily back slidden, we just have not moved forward at all. We really need to set some time aside for just us, we NEVER have date nights!! Life seems just too busy. Well I am beat and need to head up to get some rest. Exhaustion is my constant companion lately. Keep me in your prayers, walking is challenging, climbing the steps is something that completely winds me; I actually have to stop or get help to get up all the way. I need a healing touch, Oh Lord!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

Edited by Tigger
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger:

 

Glad you are back. I am praying for your health issues.

 

Pooh, are you reading the J&K books every night? 10 minutes a night. It will change your thinking, revolutionaize your life, and bless you and your wife.

 

CC whenever needed. Tigger, do not hesitate to get on the CC.

 

We turn the videos on whenever we get into a fight or arguement. Even when we don't have time to sit and watch it we play the audio in the background. Without those tools we would be in TROUBLE. That old thinking does not die easily.

 

I know you have a busy life with all the children, health issues, etc. How are the chickens? Is Owl doing any better?

 

I have missed you on the forum. Are you still working with TP on the money issues?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

C2,

 

Good Morning!! Glad to see that you have stopped by for a visit. I will go in reverse order, if that is ok. As for TP, he has choosen not to have me help him, for whatever reason. I am still willing, but that has to be up to him. I have tried to be transparent with Dulcinea as well, don't want her to feel left out and/or like he is doing something behind her back.

 

Now moving up the list...

-Owl has his good days and his bad days, like we all do, but overall... I think his good days are out numbering his bad days.

-Chickens: Broilers have been slaughtered and put in the freezer, we have enjoyed eatting a few of them so far; the layers have yet to start laying, but our Rooster is making his presence known to everyone near us. The kids are thinking that maybe we have a second Rooster, but we are not sure about that yet. They think that they have heard a second crowing, I guess time will tell.

-As you can tell by my post... the CC are not happening, neither is the book reading and/or video watching. For us, playing them in the background is not really an option; though I see it as a mighty good suggestion. Our TV is in our bedroom on the 3rd floor, and we would not want to be playing them somewhere around the children using just a CD player. I think they would play with a CD player, but maybe not; I am techno challenged, that is why GOD has blessed me with a great techno Hubby!! ::clap

 

Thank you for the prayers. All are appreciated and welcome. I wish I could say that I thought that the Lyme treatment was working some good, but honestly I see no difference thus far. The Bronchial-Pneumonia has really gotten me down, I just can't seem to kick it to the curb. :o Can't find a coughing icon, but this last little guy looks like he could be gasping for air, so that is me too, right now. POOH is supportive, but honestly he has been just so sick and miserable too, that it is kind of crazy.

 

Our summer is coming to an end and we have so much to do outside yet and it is so NOT happening. I wish I could do more, but alas I can only do what I can. Accepting my limitations is something I must learn, taking it gracefully... well that might take some doing. Not sure yet if being graceful in accepting my limitations is optional, what do you think???????????????

 

Well I need to get on the ball, need Looney's cattle prod to get my family going. Lots to do before the day is over. Hope this finds you well and having a great day. Were you able to get help on the CC last night?? I prayed for you, hope things will turn around.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger,

 

My computer finnaly started to work agin this morining. I have no idea what possessed it yesterday. I am missing you!!!! I have been good on my trip. Sorry this short. I have to get ready and have breakfast. Sorry about the trouble with Owl last night. Hope you rested well and testing gose well today with the other children. I will see you tonight. call if you need me. I will call back. the drill should be over by 12 noon. I will keep you informed. I guess I need to go and see if that audio down loaded. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

 

Pooh

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello all,

 

I want to add something here. Both of us had computer problems last night, both had crashes. I was downloading and listening to J&K's Oxytocin recording. I got through 1 hour and 20 minutes of it but the longer I went the worse my computer was working. I have been having computer problems, so this just played into it all. POOH's computer is new and there is nothing wrong with it, but he ran into the same problem. I have the recording down loaded and very much want him to hear it, there was some seriously good stuff in there and I am only 1/2 way through.

 

If anyone has any suggestions I would be glad to hear them. POOH got me more memory for my computer, but honestly it does not seem like it has made any difference. I could not get my computer to run anything; really slow speed. It would take like 30 minutes to write a sentence, because it kept freezing up on me.

 

We also had internet problems, but interestingly, my parents did not. The significance of that is that we live on opposite ends of the same piece of land; it is 21+ acres, so we are not side by side. We have the same satelite company and they had no interruption in service. It happened on some really hot days and POOH thought that maybe it was the heat. We have had the satelite fry before; it is on top of our garage which is across the driveway from the house.

 

I don't know if this helps any with this information, but I am frustrated. Neither of us are computer savvy, but POOH is light years ahead of me. If anyone has any thoughts, please post them here and he can try to do them. He should be home tonight. I would sure like for us to be able to hear the entire recording, though 1/2 of it has been fantastic and we could really grow from just that much. Obviously... more would be better.

 

Hope that everyone understands that he and I had the same problem, so I believe he was not just blowing me off. Thank you for the post this morning POOH, even if it was brief.

 

KIT is on her 1st math test and only has 1 math test left and she will be completely done testing for this year. Owl called and asked if he could come home for testing and I told him not right now. Oyee has not begun yet today, got him patched late. He is anxious to start. He is enjoying listening to the Christian music in the living room; surprise, surprise, surprise!! Hope the drill went well and you had a good trip back. It is pouring rain here. Our hunting neighbor came and got the rest of everyones test this morning, so they are all on their way. Look forward to seeing you tonight.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

POOH,

 

Something for you to think on, when you have a moment. This was written by Eeyore:

So, his tasks are NOT to bless me, they are to bless himself by getting validation and approval for himself. And I can definitely see that difference in his heart. Maybe this is what we struggle with in SO MANY passive guys. They "do" tasks, but it is only for themselves.

I think it bears some time in thought for you.

 

Where is your heart?? Is it in getting the task done to get the task done; so you can say "See Honey, I did XYZ that you asked me to do!!" When you do things for the love of me and our marriage, it is very different. Last weekend and the one before I kept thanking you for helping me. You did help, but you did not want to help. I appreciate that you stretched yourself to help me, it was hard on me to feel like I had to be begging you.

 

You often say that you like when we work together, but I guess that only applies to when it is things you want to do. I know organizing is not your 'thing', but it is really mine. I just was having such difficulty breathing that I needed help. I should just of had KIT help me, even though she did not want to help me either; which leaves me feeling lonely, and desperately alone. Well KIT is struggling with her test so I must close.

 

Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

POOH,

 

Here is another one of those good quotes I like to share with you.

 

Kay wrote:

I needed that kick in the butt to keep going and not just throw in the towel. As Kathy said, if you don't demand change, then there will be no change. I know your tired.

I am tired, too, and heck, I've been at this since 07. Bottom Line, these guys NEED consequences for their actions or lack of.... words and threats by us are not enough. Also, if the homework isn't kept up, their brains WILL go back to square one, again. Yes, it IS hard work, on both of our parts, but what choice do we have? What has helped me to keep going is to think about what God wants from me. It is never in God's plan for us to throw in the towel. come on, if I can keep going, you can too.

 

Color and bolding are by me to give emphasis to what you need to see/read. All of it was good, but like you say, you need a ton of bricks to get anything, so the red is for the red bricks in that ton of bricks.

 

Hope these things are helpful and that you can also see that you are not the only one who needs help. Kay was talking with people who had gotten to their OHM, but he decided to slide backwards and is ripping his wifes heart out, again!! Kay mentioned that they had been at this since '07, well... so have we. Don't you want to move to the front of the class and not be the child who is beng held back all the time. I hated being the dummy in school, so maybe that is why this affects me so much. Little insite into my heart there, use it with care.

 

Looking forward to you coming home. 2 new Rxs. from the dr. for the Bronchial-Pneumonia, can you pick them up at the pharmacy, please for me. Not going out with friend tonight for dinner, her decision, but I am kind of glad with how bad I feel and how lousy the weather is. See you later.

 

Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted 8/31/10 by Emory, 02:56 AM

SeekingTruth said I should post here.

 

I am Emory...I hear and obey. I have been assimilated. Big grins to my precious SeekingTruth... ::clap

 

20 Kisses / 20 Hugs / 20 Smiles / 50 validations / 100 touches / 3 Metric Tons of Apologies (still not enough)

(and yes SeekingTruth is laughing over my shoulder). :rotfl:

 

SeekingTruth, truly I have sought the world for beauty, and have found it next to my own heart in you... :lol:

 

NOTE...to any fellas still fighting on this board. Just let go, jump in and let the water of the

washing of the Word take you. Just die. Stop justifying, stop fighting, stop whining like I did, stop screaming,

yelling and making your bride wish she she were anywhere else but near you like I did. It is worth every single

minute of it. Let your wife unburden herself to you; trust me your testosterone levels WILL increase.

 

Validate the gorgeous woman you destroyed. Kiss her often and mean it.

 

My story: I called my beauty from work who asked me so nicely "Please scrub the toilet in

the front bathroom when you get home." Finally, I am the "Oxytocin Booster Man!" I rushed past my bride when

I got home from work and immediately scrubbed the toilet with bleach she lovingly provided. She chided me playfully

for not stopping to kiss her but going immediately from front door to front bathroom. I smiled and claimed "I am

just doing what I am told." And she was giggling, and I was giggling.

 

Fellas if the Lord can use scrubbing the facility as a fun laughing happy moment I suggest you become a servant

and learn how to make YOUR wives laugh. I took out the trash when she asked. So simple, so easy, so effortless

and a month ago I would have SCREAMED like a freaked out TODDLER at her for asking me this. Now, I do it with

pleasure knowing it not only get me POINTS but it is "loving my wife like Christ loved the Church."

 

I hear on the calls guys claiming "Oh its too hard." That is a load. If my monster crazy moron freaked out toddler

self can do it you can too. Our Lord is NO respecter of persons. What He will do for one He will do for ALL.

 

So you say you can't do this without screwing it up? I say that is an excuse. Why? Go to an airfield sometime

and watch flight training for students in one of the Cessna 152s; pay particular attention to the landings. The landings have

to be right every time or both pilot and instructor are killed. You may land hard, you may land soft, you may even

blow a tire or crab sideways on final approach but you WILL land the aircraft, no question about it.

 

Trained pilots land every time safely. They make NO serious mistakes.

 

You have training, intensives, - study materials and the website.

 

You have Air Traffic Control, - the calls, the boards.

 

You have flight instructors, - Joel and Kathy etc.

 

You have the One who hung the moon and stars, and created the Firmament and physics for YOU to enjoy flying with HER.

 

Stop whining about the height, just get in and fly. Enjoy it. Live it...love it... DO IT or forever wish you had.

 

This is my standard that I am requesting my sweet Seeking Truth to hold me to.

 

You want to hear a miracle? See God work? My own divorce laywer called me this morning, and agreed with me that

my wife was a wonderful person and he was GLAD to see us working it out.

 

At risk of being foolish, I decided to become transparent. I wanted to share my experiences of the past few weeks

with each one on this board. Folks, the Word of God works. When rightly divided it WORKS as advertised. I bless

the Davissons for their commitment to Christ and this ministry. This free man stands here with a searchlight

BEGGING you to listen, I BEG you to pay attention and most of all...

 

I beg you to let yourself die. Do it...it is the freest you will ever be.

 

Emory

 

WOW! This couple found the ministry in July, came to an Intensive in August, and a few bumps later HE GETS IT!

 

You can, too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

June,

 

Oh for POOH to want to so bless me like this man did. I am crying, he touched me in a way words can not begin to describe. 2 months, not 2+ years. He is just loving his wife, incredible!!

 

This looks like them ::love , this looks like me :cry: !! DO you think POOH can see the difference?? Oh how I dream of being loved. I once was told that you could see in POOH's eyes how much he loved me; I wish that were true now. We used to cause a chemical reaction when we were together, notably so, that others around us noticed it and commented. Where did that all go?? I am so sad and down now, the deepening of the ravine between us, it seems nearly uncrossable. I don't want this. I want to be happy.

 

Right now our children are here and need us, what happens when they are gone?? What will be the thing that unites us?? Will we have anything in common, once our children are grown and gone. What kind of a legacy are we making for our children, when we are not one flesh?? I just want to sit here and cry, but honestly, what good will that do?? I am all alone, in everything. I need to go, I can't see the screen so I hope this is clear.

 

Tigger

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OH Tigger, I did not mean to cause you more pain, but rather to try and reach POOH -- and get his butt in gear ---

 

We, too have been in this for three years! and Ward can still do incredibly selfish things that hurt.

 

I will be praying that POOH gets a job where he is not away from home -- he NEEDS to be there with you blessing your socks off!

 

POOH, are you reading this???????

 

(btw -- Emory and SeekingTruth were on their way to divorce land -- and even last week he was behaving badly -- hopefully, his "getting it" is for the long haul -- and if his words are encouraging to others, I hope they spread.

 

crying with you

 

 

Love and blessings,

June of

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tigger: I feel your pain. If Pooh only understood that feeling of having the life and energy drained out of you. And HE is the only one who has the power to get you plugged back into the wall. It seems so unfair that we have to depend on our husbands to do that and it is not something we can just do ourselves. <_>

 

Tigger, this is worthy of repeating.

As Tigger pointed out:

Kay wrote:

Quote

 

I needed that kick in the butt to keep going and not just throw in the towel. As Kathy said, if you don't demand change, then there will be no change. I know your tired.

I am tired, too, and heck, I've been at this since 07. Bottom Line, these guys NEED consequences for their actions or lack of.... words and threats by us are not enough. Also, if the homework isn't kept up, their brains WILL go back to square one, again. Yes, it IS hard work, on both of our parts, but what choice do we have? What has helped me to keep going is to think about what God wants from me. It is never in God's plan for us to throw in the towel. come on, if I can keep going, you can too

 

Pooh, maybe this is why you have been doing this for three years. Your brain keeps going back to square one. Did the audio download work? That was a great idea Tigger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

POOH,

 

This was writen by Dory to HD and Eeyore, in light of their current struggles; all of it originally was spoken by Pure in Heart-Kimberly.

Love in the natural. Dying to the flesh means dying to THAT which hinders love. When you do something that LIGHTS UP a loved one's face, doesn't that yield a blessing for you? That's God winking at you, saying "well done!" THAT very action yields far more blessing in the real than reading the Bible or going to church and praying for the Holy Spirit to strike you down. Granted, we all still must worship God and stay in the Word. But if you are riding a donkey to church and the donkey falls into a ditch, what are goin to do? Go to church? or, pull the donkey out of the ditch and THEN go to church? (No pun intended on donkeys - it was just the example that Pure used to help me understand. (Co-incidental ?)) No you are going to pull the donkey out first!

Just thought this was good for you to read.

 

Tig

Edited by Tigger
Link to comment
Share on other sites

HELP!!

 

Things have just gone so south here. I am frustrated and don't even know exactly what to say. It is like I am living life back 'there' again. I need consistentcy, this is really hurting my heart. I am finding it hard to get up and try to do anything. HELP, what do I do?? How do I make him "see" the hurt that he is causing?? Thank you for any and all help.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

Edited by Tigger
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...