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That message is VERY convicting. Thanks Brian. We will be remembered by what we DO much more than by what we SAY. Forrest had it right when he says "stupid is as stupid DOES". Time for me to get off my duff and get busy doing GOOD as outflows of what lies within.

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Howdy,

Just a bit off topic for the moment, but I need some technical sort of help. Both of our battery powered phones have died so I could not continue on the call tonight. What I need is some advice on buying new phones. Is there anything out there that the battery will last longer than 2 hours? I would consider a desk phone if it has a socket for a headset. I have looked at some at "that Mart place" but nobody there really knows anything about them. Internet reviews haven't been real helpful either.

I have thought that maybe we could get a phone with several extra handsets and just switch them out when the battery gets low.

Any suggestions would be helpful. In a way this would bless Looney if the frustration with the bad phones could be resolved.

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We bought a set with two handsets (and two charger bases). (Only one needs to plug into the phone line.) New ones last much longer than an hour or so, newer technology and newer batteries. We have found a lot of helpful reviews for different things at Amazon.com.

 

Hope this helps. Yes, a new phone would bless your wife! (And it would help you... so you can stay on the calls.)

 

By the way, didn't you say that you have a corded phone that you can use (until you get a new one, like for the call tonight)?? :?

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The corded phones are in the living room, which is usually inhabited by teenagers watching loud movies or video games. Neither one of the phones has a provision for a headset. What would be really good is to get some phone wire and put a line into the BR. It's been on the list, just not high enough. Have to change that.

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1SM - here is a thought!! Instead of trying to buy the PERFECT phone, with the PERFECT reviews and the PERFECT batteries... find on that meets you needs, and TAKE A CHANCE!! Two handsets (or three??) with a place to plug in a headset... a brand that you trust (I know that you guys were looking at a Panasonic... that is a well known brand!).

 

It does not have to be the perfect phone... Just buy one!

 

I am reminded of your attempts to start by fighting with the insurance company instead of making the doctor appt that your wife requested!

 

Chocolate melts... Flowers die... Conversations do not always go as we planned... And yes cordless phone die... What is important here is that you buy that darn phone and BLESS YOUR WIFE!! If you don't, she will. And I know that she is not going to ask for advice or look at reviews (us Sanguines don't "roll like that!" :wink: ).

 

Just do it!!

 

 

 

PS Have you made that appt with the doctor for the ADHD meds yet?

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(Their internet won't let that happen. Remember, they live on the edge of nowhere? :wink: ) We have started using Skype, and it works great, but you pretty much need high speed internet for that.

 

Guess he will just have to buy that darn phone! :roll:

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1SM,

 

We have VTect and they work wonderful. We have 4 phones- all cordless with one base w/answering machine. We could buy 2 more and add on, we just haven't. These also have an intercom, so we can call other places in the house. This is my .02 worth.

 

Just as an aside. These phones have been left off the hook for more then 24 hours and still work. Now that is not being used for hours on end, that I can not address.

 

Like Sister B, we got ours at Costco. SAM's club, BJ's, and the like would be similar to the Costco out here; not sure if ya'll have Costco out there, I know you have Sam's club though.

 

I hope this helps.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

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Thanks Duhman! And yes you are a HELPER in the sense that you can relate to the men in this area! Never underestimate the power that God works and flows thru your painful turnaround and your surrender to his guidance.

 

Another man who has written so poetically on BW's string could be posted for you too...

 

I hope you accept this truth in brotherly love, but - excuse me. You have no right to stalk her, but you have no "right" not to pursue her. You promised to love her and cherish her. You didn't do it. I understand that you can't change that which is in the past. I'm guilty of the same thing, so don't think I'm condemning you. I need more grace and forgiveness than most. But to throw in the towel and not even bother to fight for her? That isn't love, that's cowardice. That's passivity. That's abuse. That's not being a Christlike man. That's not being a man, period. You might win her back, you might not. I can guarantee you won't if you don't even try. Frankly, that isn't the point. The point needs to be becoming a Christlike man. Pursuing her (in the way she will allow, not in the way you feel like it) and laying your life down for her will help grow you into that Christlike man - and it will help heal her heart because she will know by your actions that you believe she is worth fighting for. If you show her that she isn't worth the effort because of the risk of rejection by your actions, you will only wound her further.

 

The whole post can be found here actually...

 

http://www.joelandkathy.com/boards/viewtopic.php?p=53768#53768

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1SM,

 

HD and I are watched some of the Intensive DVDs at the hotel this afternoon. The very first session talks about how a man needs to realize that he NEEDS his wife.

 

Are you watching the DVDs? You need to pull them out and make this a priority... with or without your wife being home to watch them with you.

 

There are a LOT of things that we need to be reminded of from our Intensive, but I think the first (and probably the biggest one) for you, is to realize that you NEED your wife!!

 

Pull out those DVDs. I challenge you to do this tonight. Your wife is at work and you have time to do this. Watch the first hour. Let it soak into your heart.

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To my Bride, whom I need so very, very much.

 

I am truly sorry and I ask that you would please forgive me for all the hurt I have caused you.

 

I also want to say thank you for so many things.

I do appreciate how you are able to talk through things even when it is difficult and you are ticked with me.

 

I thank you for being honest in confronting me when I have hurt you.

 

I thank you for holding me accountable for my mistakes and giving me the chance to fix them.

 

These are some of the reasons why I love you so much. You compliment my life in so many ways. You give me the reasons to work harder at communicating with you.

I love you.

.

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I heard you on the call last night with Joel. It would seem, from what Kay said, that your wife has hit her limit with allowances for you. Is this note above just the beginning of all the amazing ways you will be healing her heart or is it "it?" Your "big hurray." Your "trump card." Your "big gun."

 

1SM, you'd better work furiously and hard to make an impact on your beautiful bride. Sheesh (Joelism), it has been 25 years :roll: . If I were you,I would find out ASAP, (and apparently, "word" has it that John from Susan&John is the "romance" expert :D) what are the MANY ways you can begin to heal her heart, TODAY! There is no time to waste, 1SM, or your lovely wife is going to be posting on "The other side of the fork in the Road!"

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Hey 1SM

 

You know have some choices to make here...

 

So what to do now? Give up and let your wife go or dig in deep and make the changes you need to make?

 

Somethings you can be doing while you are alone...

 

1. read/listen to the books again

 

2. watch the dvd's

 

3. get on ALL group calls and ask for help/listen in

 

4. post here each and everyday about what you are struggling with, ask questions, and stay connected to us...let us help you through this

 

5. read your bible....get in touch with and start having a personal relationship with the Lord...if nothing else, this one is the most important...Without a relationship with the Lord you can't win your wife back...Seek the face of the Lord...Seek his wisdom...and talk and pray with Him each and everyday! Soak up the words of the Lord and learn what it means to be a Christlike person...what it mean's to be like Jesus in the flesh....

 

You can still win your wife back...but you will have to do the work...its a hard road....but its worth it in the end.....Don't give up on yourself here....The Lord hasn't given up on your and we won't either, while you show us that you really want to learn and become teachable here...

 

Blessings

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Thanks for being here, all of you.

 

I was able to spend a lot of time yesterday reading through O.P.P. (other peoples posts) and realized that even the folks who are doing well have their share of struggles and bumps. So for today I start with two positive points. I ain't perfect and I ain't dead. Translation: There's still hope.

 

Now, how to bless my wife from here? I have some ideas about how to do a long distance romance. Guess I better get started on that.

 

TTFN

.

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That's it? After all we've been through :lol: ... you're leaving us hanging with the plan? Okay, we'll wait, but not too long. We'll be anxiously awaiting Looney's post and it better be REALLLLLLLY good, Noah!!! She deserves it!

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Question for you? (AGAIN)

 

You were dropped off on Wednesday, correct? Did you call your wife, later than night, to tell her that you loved her and were going to work hard to "die for her" and this was NOT the end, but a beginning of a future NEW YOU?

 

How about Thursday? How many times did you call your wife and ask her how she was ? Perhaps, let her know what you were doing to bless her? Let her know that you miss her?

 

Just curious. Today, it's Friday.. Have you called her, yet?

 

But, beware.............. she may ask you to stop calling - there's always that chance. If she does that, then you MUST listen to her heart. But, if she has not told you NOT to call, then that would be a good thing.

 

Have you taken the risk ? Advice, "Ask God for guidance, before every single phone call"

 

Not giving up on the two of you, yet. You CAN do this, but the question is, IS she worth it to you? If so, then you need to PROVE this !

 

Kay

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A question on accountability.

Is it proper to be posting / reporting on what I am doing?

For example:

On "w" night I was on "x" call.

I read chapter "y" in "z" book.

I watched DVD lesson "#."

Or would it be better to share this info privately with one of the men helpers?

 

I am here to learn anew how to bless my wife and show her that I can do this. AND that I will be consistent in applying the knowledge.

 

I do love my wife and I want to heal her.

 

To my Dear LT...... Hugs and Smooches. I want to be with you as one flesh an' I'm gonna prove it!

 

 

.

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Hi 1SM-

 

I think that posting those kinds of things here are fine, it would be good to discuss them with your wife as well (if she wants to). More importantly though, the details she is likely more interested in hearing about are things along the lines of what you read in chapter X that made you realize how you had hurt her in a specific situation(s) - not just that you read chapter X, or what you learned (and how you're going to apply what you learned) on a conference call, things like that. I don't know your wife (I don't know you, either), but from what I've heard her say on the calls and read here, she seems more interested in quality than quantity. That doesn't mean that she doesn't need both. Whatever details you do give about what you've learned, what you're going to do, changes you're going to make - whether they are communicated online here, or in conversation with your wife - make real sure that your actions back your words up.

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A question on accountability.

Is it proper to be posting / reporting on what I am doing?

For example:

On "w" night I was on "x" call.

I read chapter "y" in "z" book.

I watched DVD lesson "#."

 

Yes, lets keep this out in the opened...and it would help you to let us know what you learned and how you plan to put that into action...The private section really is only for venting....so use it as little as possible...because you want to be held accountable for everything you say you are going to be doing...

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