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im sitting in front of this microwave thingy and dont know which buttons to punch never done this before that took long time really when you think about me its not laughing matter need all the help i can get write or call if you want to most of you know me

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Yes, you need to not abuse your wife.

 

I will pray that you are able to have a teachable spirit and receive these things that you are learning. I pray that you are able to practice them this time as opposed to last time.

 

God can do ANYTHING. God can change you.

 

I pray that He does, so that your marriage can be saved.

 

Take Care,

Bridget

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Whenever I write a lengthy or important post, I go to the Edit button at the top of the web page, and just select Copy. then if I submit and it doesn't go, all I have to do is go back to "post reply" and then Paste it in again, and submit.

 

Also, sometimes, you can just go "back" and it will show back up when you think it has been lost.

 

Praying for you and your wife.

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Bruce,

 

 

Admitting you need help and see that you have room for improvement is the first step in change. It really is half the battle. The other half of the battle is staying the course...to keep running the race set before you...to not give up in learning from your God and Savior how He has purposed you to love.

 

God is over all and worthy of our worship...of our reverence and awe. Turn your eyes back to Him...this is what repentance truly means...to turn again toward God and confess you were walking in disagreement to His Word. Yes, wonder of wonders God needs your agreement with Him...God wants your permission to cut away your flesh and the abuses of it to bring life abundantly to your spirit.

 

You are not the boss of anyone...only God has earned the right and priviledge to be Sovereign and Omnipotent. You are only in charge of your own life. God is not a God who keeps people under His thumb of tyranny. He does not force our love or allegiance to Him. You can not FORCE your wife to serve you as if you are some god....you make yourself an idol and idols want worship....you have exchanged the truth for a lie. God alone is worthy of our obedience because He paid the cosliest price to PROVE love.

 

You have been in this ministry long enough to know God has told you to lay down your life for your wife. Your refusal is not your wife's fault. God will hold you accountable to be a man of your word by being a man of action.

Your words are nothing and will come to nothing...God's WORD however is life to you and when you put a demand on YOURSELF to live that out THEN you will see changes. Your only obedience as a husband is to allow Christ to increase so that Bruce and his wants will decrease. You must let Mindy off the hook for everything...you must set her free...she is NOT called to die for you...YOU are called to die for her. In God's mind you are held responsible for the condition of your marriage. You answer to God for her heart. No where in God's Word does it tell your wife to be in subjection to you...to live under your despotism. God does make people free and then put them back under the yoke of slavery again. She is not your slave...she is your equal...a co-heir with Christ...she deserves to be cherished and adored...even as her own Christ treasures her and is smitten by her.

 

I pray you will humble yourself under God's mighty hand so that He can lift you up. If your pride continues to take front and center...God will resist you.

If after having the truth given to you...you still refuse to shake off your errouneous "doctrines"...what sacrifice is there left for you? Only the Cross of Christ is the level playing field. It is at the Cross where all truth is proven whether it be from God. That Word of truth has been spoken already....For God so loved the world He gave...LOVE is the final authority on all matters of faith and theology. All the prophets and the Law are summed up in LOVE.

 

How do you then love? God clearly commands the husband what this looks like...it is to die to yourself...to seek not one thing for yourself...but only to live and make-up to your wife for the rest of her life the ways you have robbed and plundered her. If this is your attitude and you take God's charge Bruce...there may yet be hope.

 

 

Be sober-minded and vigilant in this endeavor,

 

Kimberly

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thanks this computer chalanges me our daughter actualy gave me the idea about the microwave theLord layed something on my heart last night then it got lost . I willtry to remember what it was . Iask you to please forgive me for hurting your sister Mindy so many times and so severily also forgive me for being so condeming and critical of your ministry thank you for helping to protect Mindy from me thank you for being her friends I really dont deserve any respect from her .

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Bruce,

 

1st of all, welcome to the forum.

 

It breaks my heart that it took "yet one more incident" for Mindy to come to the point she has.

 

We met @ the picnic & God totally ordained time for you to just "be with the guys", to talk. You thought that it was a total set-up & decided that you did not like those guys anymore - Nemo, John, Brian...

 

You have wounded Mindy to a point where I really wonder if she'll ever truly receive full healing. Our God is able, but not when you get in the way!!

Over the past 30 years, Bruce, you could have been locked up SO MANY different times that you've abused her. She didn't have the voice to speak up, b/c you BEAT it out of her!

 

I am so glad that she's taken one big & bold step and gotten an RO on you, and that you are no longer in the home. This was long in coming Bruce, but it's the only chance that Mindy can begin to experience some healing, and not fear what wrath she'll have to be object of, once you get home from work....

 

We are praying for her ... and for you. It's time, Bruce, to stop this toddler chameleon life that you've lived ~ one who puts on the "I'm a perfect husband" around church people (including your "accountability men") and convince people that it's really all MINDY'S dysfunction.

 

Please get yourself straight with God, Bruce - before it's too late. I think you know our story. Brian & I & our children are way too aware that NOT ONE OF US ARE PROMISED TOMORROW, LET ALONE OUR NEXT BREATH! I quiver at the thought of what God would say to you, if you died tonight ~ True believers, TRUE CHRIST-FOLLOWERS DO NOT live/behave/act the way that you have, the past 30 years of marriage to Mindy.

 

I know this post may sound harsh to you - but it's no longer time to tip-toe around the pansies with you. This IS the REAL DEAL!!!!

 

Bruce, this is a time for you to really, really, REALLY recommit your life - your entire being - to Jesus Christ. Maybe you have some ill-conceived notions about God, about His Son, Jesus. Maybe you think that He would never forgive you for all of your sins. Maybe you're afraid that especially your long-hidden sin of abusing and not taking care of, not cherishing, not loving, not washing her daily with the word, unable and not ready to present her to God w/o any spot, wrinkle or blemish...I may be way off base here, but if any of these things are whirling through your brain as you have lots of time to think by yourself now, go grab a Bible ~ preferably an NIV or The Living Bible (much easier to understand -but I don't know what you currently use) and just start reading it.

 

Basic

Instructions

Before

Leaving

Earth

 

 

We are keeping you both in prayer!

 

And Bruce - (even maybe for the 1st time in you life) ~ KEEP IT REAL!!!!!

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Bruce - it is good to have you here and I am available to help in any way that I can. There is a narrow path here that leads to life for you and for Mindy and you must stay on this narrow path. Jesus said that wide is the path and easy is the way that leads to destruction and many will find it; and narrow is the path and hard is the way that leads to life and few will find it. He is calling you to this narrow path, to walk in his ways, to take his yoke upon you...you must die to self and doing things your way.

 

Again I will help you in any and every way that I can.

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Bruce,

 

You have a lot to swallow right now......... Know that these posts above are not here to hurt you, or punish you, but to help you grow, because we all care. We are a Ministry who SAVES MARRIAGES!! Remember this, when the going starts getting tough!

 

I told Mindy a long time ago, that I see potential in you, and that you can change into a man of God, and turn your life around. A lot of people have a hard time understanding that, because of the severety of the abuse, but, I still believe. I see "good" inside of you, Bruce, although, I see that it is hidden very deep inside. But in the last couple of days, some of this "good" has begun to come out! Humbling yourself at the hearing, by admitting you are at fault, was a blessing to Mindy. So for that, we all thank you.

 

Mindy is hurting right now, yes. She is hurting because she has lost the dream of a Marriage that she always hoped to have. With YOU! You see, Bruce, SHE, too, has seen that potential inside of you. But, time after time, you took it away, until she slowly started drowning. Right now, she needs peace and healing, that only God can give her, because, you, as her husband, has failed her.

 

So, how do you change completely? It all begins with a choice. To fully submit to Christ - to ask God to give you the strength to stay on this path of righteousness. To stop trying to fix yourself in your own strength.

 

Listen and Learn. Follow our advice, and do the hard work that it is going to take in order to turn yourself into that Man of God. We are all here to help you through this new walk.

 

Praying for you, for Julie, and for your Marriage!!

Kay

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I told Mindy a long time ago, that I see potential in you, and that you can change into a man of God, and turn your life around. A lot of people have a hard time understanding that, because of the severety of the abuse, but, I still believe. I see "good" inside of you, Bruce, although, I see that it is hidden very deep inside.

 

We all know that there is GOOD inside of you. God put it there, and wants desperately for it to come out.

 

You have been a slave to sin and its effects for SO LONG.

 

Won't it be wonderful to finally be FREE?

 

Wow.

 

What an amazing work God can do in you!

 

I will continue to pray for you!

 

Take Care,

Bridget

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Bruce - Mindy does want to go to church on Sunday and Wednesday nights. I helped her understand that you can still have fellowship with the men at church, it just won't be at the Sunday and Wednesday night services. You need to make room for her to be supported.

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Finally got computer couldnt wait to get on and read God have mercy on my soul . Thanks for telling it like it is. Been asking God to show me not pretty . God is faithful showed me !1John 1 6 i have been walking in darkness and a lier the truth has not been in me . So very very proud used to think i knew everything now i realii dont know ANYTHING .NOT EVEN HOW TO RUN A COMPUTER OR SPELL EITHER IF ANY BODY OUT THERE WITH ANY TIPS TONIGHT PLEASE CALL PLEASE DONT STOP WRITING NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET

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jER.33 3 INEED A MARICLE IN MY LIFE AND MY HEART MAYBE COLD HEART WOULD MAKE AGOOD NAME FOR ME IF I CAN LEARN TO RUN A COMPUTOR . I CAN SURELLY LEARN HOW TO LOVE MINDY SHE DESERVES MCH BETTER THAN ME SHE IS AVERY GOOD WOMEN

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FROM BRUCE:

 

K AY BRIAN WEN THANKS FOR BEING HONEST WITH ME . I NEED YOUR HONESTY. IT IS ONE WAY GOD IS SHOWING ME WHAT AMISERABLE WRECK I HAVE MADE OUT OF MY LIFE . AND ALSO THE WORST PART IS IVE SHIPWRECKED MINDYS LIFE AND HEART ALSO. AND YES DESTROYED HER DREAMS. I PRAY MINDY CAN FIND IT IN HER HEART TO FORGIVE ME AGAIN. MINDY HAS A VERY GOOD HEART IVE BROKEN IT AND WOUNDED IT TO MANY TIMES .GOD FORGIVER ME .WHEN IN OHIO TODAY ICAME UP 122 TO GRATIS TURNED ON 722 AND WENT BY MY PARENTS OLD HOUSE . MY THOUGHTS WENT BACK 25 YEARS TO MY PRECIOUS YOUNG WIFE SETTING THERE ROCKING OUR DAUGHTER ALL NIGHT .WHATA GODLY WIFE .ABOUT MORE THAN I CAN BEAR TO THINK ABOUT HOW I HAVE HURT MINDY AND BEEN SO SELFISH . MINDY DESEVES BETTER THAN ME .PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON ME .NEED ALLTHE HELP I CAN GET .WANT TO BECOME A MAN MINDY CAN TRUST AND RESPECT.. HOW DO I GET OFF CAPITAL LETTERS THANK YOU
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Bruce,

 

This is meant in total fun, not at all to put you down....

 

I don't think you realized how many people you made laugh out loud :lol: when you had your CAPS LOCK on and were typing in all CAPS, asking for someone to help you fix that! It definitely made me & Brian get a good belly laugh, which, honestly, I should thank you for, b/c we need laughter more often!!!!

 

So, you just keep plugging yourself in - into the forum & you REALLY need to get on the weekly conference calls, Bruce. If you need to be reminded of what days/times of the calls, just ask & we'll put it here on your thread. Brian & I host a Saturday night call beginning at 9pm Eastern. Just remember, as you access the forum & listen to the calls, that it's only fair to bless Joel & Kathy with a monthly love-gift. If you want some of what you give to be allocated to another helper in the ministry, Joel can tell you how to go about that. For you, it'd be best to do it on the phone, since you're still feeling your way around on the computer.

 

When you first start calling into the calls, it would benefit you GREATLY to just sit back & listen. Of course, if you have a question, you can ask, but right now, I think that listening & truly soaking up what you hear (good & bad) is VITAL for you!!!!!

 

Don't give up on the computer - you'll learn it, and you'll also see, if you look, that when you misspell a word, that all of those will be underlined in RED before you hit the SUBMIT button, you can go back & make those corrections - the ones underlined in RED

We are here for you Bruce & we are here for Mindy - we love her & our hearts ache & ache & ache for the inhumane brutality that you have unleashed on her for so many years. That woman is going to have the jazziest crown in Heaven for enduring what she has!!!!

 

Just remember: IT IS NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU - IF YOU HAVE EVER DOUBTED GOD'S MERCY, JUST LOOK AT YOUR LIFE!!!! AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS, HE IS GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND - FOR REAL, THIS TIME - AND A POSSIBILITY AT RIGHTING YOUR WRONGS WITH MINDY!

 

YOU MUST REALIZE, THOUGH, THAT THIS IS N-O-T GOING TO BE A SHORT OR EASY ROAD, ESPECIALLY FOR HER ~ SHE WILL HAVE MUCH TO WORK THROUGH WITH HER COUNSELOR & IT WILL TAKE TIME TO BEGIN FOR HER DEEP, DEEP, DEEP WOUNDS TO EVEN BEGIN TO SCAB ~ BUT YOU COMMIT TO BEING IN THIS FOR LIFE ~ NOT JUST FOR HOW LONG YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANNA STICK WITH IT & YOU CANNOT BE AFFORDED NOW TO HAVE A BAD DAY WHEN YOU FEEL LOUSY & THEN HAVE A GOOD DAY WHEN YOU FEEL UP. WHAT YOU DO/SAY/ACT UPON, WILL ABSOLUTELY GET BACK TO MINDY & YOU WANT EVERYTHING THAT DOES, TO BE OF GOOD REPORT, EVIDENCING THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!! THE REASON YOU HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT, IS B/C IF YOU WOUND HER (AGAIN OR EVEN MORE) ALONG HER HEALING JOURNEY, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY RIP OFF ANY TYPE OF SCAB THAT HAS BEGUN TO FORM OVER HER WOUNDS & SHE'LL END UP RIGHT BACK AT THE BEGINNING!!!

 

REMEMBER BRUCE, THE BIBLE SAYS THAT HE STANDS AT THE DOOR OF OUR HEARTS AND KNOCKS. HE ALSO IS A GOD THAT HE WILL NOT WAIT ON A MAN/WOMAN WHO CONTINUALLY REJECTS HIM (AND WHETHER YOU SEE IT OR NOT, YOU HAVE REJECTED GOD & HIS TRUTH FOR SO MANY YEARS, BEING DECEIVED BY FALSE DOCTRINE THAT YOU WERE REALLY A MAN OF GOD, WALKING UPRIGHT IN GOD'S SIGHT! SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO BE DECEIVED? I HOPE YOU CAN SEE THAT!!!!

 

THE BIBLE ALSO SAYS THAT GOD WILL HARDEN A PERSON'S HEART, AFTER WHATEVER TIME HE DEEMS THAT THEY'LL NEVER RESPOND.

 

PRAISE GOD THAT YOU HAVE BEGUN TO WAKE UP FROM THE POUNDS & POUNDS OF LIES THAT YOU'VE LIVED UNDER & SUBJECTED YOUR WIFE & KIDS TO, FOR 30+ YEARS!!!!

Oh, yeah, just wanted to let you know that I turned OFF the caps lock button for this last sentence!!!! :lol: Just pickin' on ya!!! :rotfl:

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So right Wen when i read your post . Iwas so proud when those brothers tried to help me.Thought i knew everything .Now realize i knew nothing .Last night listening to Ken talk it just slew me because it reminded me of myself so much .The age old problem self self self all about me . thanks again . kinda fun to go from 1 word a minute to 4

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kinda fun to go from 1 word a minute to 4

 

Positive growth. We'll TAKE it! Stay here and keep learning hw to love God with all your mind, body and soul by learning to love the help-meet he gave you with AGAPE (self-less) love!

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Amazing how your perspective can change so much .These poor guys Ldont want to meet their wives needs .Cant quite amagine that right now . Im sure it is always easier said than done . I desperatly need to learn how to meet Mindys needs and bring healing to her heart . She really has had the raw end of the deal . God help me i think i have so much to learn . God please give me a teachable heart . Search me o GOD and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me . Thank you God for showing me my wicked ways

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3erd time may work. Afew thoughts.God resists the proud gives grace to the humble.Ive been resisting God. Reminds me of a man that worked for me once.So proud couldnt tell him what to do on the 1st day. Iresisted him. Allhe would have had to do was ask me what to do and i would have given him grace. Ihave been in so much sin how could God give me grace ? Ineed to learn 2:cor. 10:5 Eph:4:26-27 when we become angry and sin it gives the devil a foothold.God have mercy on us. I can see how Mindy tried to help and i would not listen. She would give me papers off the forum and i would not read them. sure wish ihad them now to read . not even sure where they are .If it wasent to late i would gladly accept that help now .Well Praise the Lord he is good and faithfull.

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Great insight, Bruce! As God continues to open your eyes & heart ... and as you allow God to let the scales fall off of your eyes, you'll stand in even 100x more amazement than you are now, at what truths you've rejected for so long!

 

If you want the copies of whatever Julie once printed off for you, I will contact her and see if she can remember specifically where they are, and if she can, I will post the links to them, here on your thread.

 

Just remember, even a small contact to her about a simple matter - even of the ministry - is violation to your RO, so please, keep that in the FRONT OF YOUR MIND, AT ALL TIMES!!!!!

 

Keep pluggin' away & as you're beginning to see, the Truth WILL indeed SET YOU FREE!!!!!!! :)

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