Bruce - Mindy's husband

[For Him For Her]

Bruce,

 

Thank you for sharing today on the Men's call.Did you get the Dri-Erase board we discussed about? I haven't seen you post that you did. I want to make sure you are lining up your words with your actions.

 

God Bless

David

[Bruce]

Good morning David. Yes that dry-erase board was up before the phone call was finished. We will take a look in a little bit to see if there are any response. It's going to seem really lonely just knowing Mindy is gone.Thank's

[For Him For Her]

Bruce,

 

Good Morning to you as well. Good job on keeping your word.It is a good step. If you would like another way to communicate with your wife,you are looking at it now.Start writing to her here but be smarter than some men.

 

Open up and share what you are feeling inside. Share with your precious wife,and us, what is living inside Bruce.Tell her, the things that you have been afraid to share before. Show her, what a vulnerable man looks like.Show her, what a TRUE changing heart looks like.Show her, the REAL Bruce. Show her, something she has wanted her entire life.Show her, what a Christlike Husband looks like.

 

You can do this.As I have said before,if I can do this,anyone can.We believe in you.It is time you start believing in YOURSELF!

 

God Bless

David

[Bruce]

I appreceate your imput David. I really think iv'e come to a point in my life where i realize that there is nothing more important than bringing healing to my wife and children. It don't even seem like life is hardly worth living without them..There was a lot of pain in my heart today seeing Mindy go off without me today. And the pain being for all the hurt i have put her through to get to this point. I'm sure her first choice was not to go to Washingtonwithout me if i would have been a man worthy of her respect. Why would she want to go with someone like me i don't blame her. Last night I went to my nonviolent alternatives class . I got right down to it I really did not want to go all that much. Maybe I felt like I did not need the class all that bad or I was not that abusive or maybe Iwas some how even better than the rest of the guys there. It's mostley a bunch of young guys sent there by the judge. THeir all slouched down with there hats on backwards so it's easy to think I have something on them . But I realize that is simply not true. Just because i'm so good at putting on a front don't mean a thing. All of their abuse added up may not be as bad as mine alone. Your right I have nothing to boast about save Jesus Christ he is simply my only hope. I was just thinking how we had a family vacation planned for next week in Florida. I kind of ruined it for my whole family because of my selfishness. I'm sure our children were looking forward to it. But especially Mindy was . This was a mothers dream to connect with her children on a family vacation. This brings pain to me to think how deeply this wounded and hurt Mindy to give up her dream. I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me Mindy that must have been very painful. I am so sorry. I commit to do every thing i can to make up for that . I've really hesitated to write about this one even though it has been on my mind. Maybe i'm just worried about what peaple will think. I was remembering close to 20 years ago . I had this precious young bride God intrusted me with .O Lord have mercy on my soul. I was working on the dryer and Mindy was standing over by the door. WE were in a aurgument of some sort. I don't know what about ;probably Mindy doe's because it had to be so tramatic ;I just can not amagine how it must have hurt and wounded Mindy; it just makes me cry to think of all the pain . What I did was picked up a screwdriver and threw it at my precious wife . It hit the door and put a hole in it . I think that hole was always there and until we moved she probably felt pain every time she looked at the door. I'm sure she did not feel like a precious wife. I amagine she had to stuff that inside her heart and I am sure I tried to justify myself or shame her or shift blame somehow .I really can't amagine how Mindy could forgive me for something of this magnitude . It is so hard to fathim it about doe's me in to think about it . I am so sorry Please forgive me It just has to hurt so bad.

[Pure in Heart]

Bruce,

 

I can honestly sense your heartfelt sorrow over the mess your choices have culminated in.

 

I pray that you will come to know Jesus as your true deliverer. It is the anointing of the Holy SPirit that breaks any yoke. I realize that there is truth you MUST walk in...yet, I also believe in the power of a supernatural God who can and wants to release you from your chains.

 

Isaiah 61 is worth reading and pondering Christ's great power to work toward those He loves. It is not just a "form" of godliness we endeavor to walk in but also the power of the Gospel. It is still true today Jesus can set us free from the enemies we have let enter in.

 

I am wondering for your benefit if there is anything at all that is still uncovered or hidden in the darkness?? I pray you search your heart and ask God to search you and know you to see if there is any wicked way in you??

(Psalm 139)

 

You can share any struggles you want to. Any questions...questions are a good indicator you are looking to gain more helpful wisdom so that you can continue to grow.

 

Also...I am curious at your resolve in this whole process? Is this a temporary ride or are you in it for the long haul?? It is easier to begin a thing with your whole heart in it...but what and if will you do if this process takes longer than you thought??? Is there any reassurance for your bride that you are running a marathon and not a sprint???

 

I am asking you questions to make you think and share your heart more....

 

I pray you are being positive and not making any negative statements to others or looking for pity. True encouragement from a faithful friend should be to help you stay on the path of change and keeping in step with humility. Remember that those who love your wife have eyes and ears open at all times.

 

Kimberly

[Bruce]

Thanks Kimberly. Please pray for me today as I do buisiness with God and search my heart. I'm meeting with Tim Warner today. He's an 85 year old brother that is in spiritual warfare and I just want his help in searching my heart to see if there is anything hidden in my heart that needs to come out. God bless you.

[Bruce]

To me my resolve seems real-my heart seems to be settled in the matter. I promised to love my wive Mindy till death do us part. I intend before God and these witnesses to keep that promise although I realize I have not kept that in the past. God and Mindy please forgive me for that. Also my heart is deceitfully wicked and so easy to be deceived / that has already been proven.. God help me.I know they say the proof is in the taste. Do I look for pity? to be honest I have now and then but I fight against such negative thinking. I trust the spirit can show me when I am there . Irealize satan loves for us to have a pity party. I don't deserve pity I dug my own hole . If any one want's to join my party let me know:) One time I got a face on without planning now I can't do it when I won't to some day I will learn still have so much to learn..

[Pure in Heart]

bruce,

 

Thank you brother in Christ...praying for the ehavens to open over you...that God WoULD rend the heavens and come down...He is a GREAT, GREAT GOD!!!

 

 

If any one want's to join my party let me know

 

The only party I'm going to is RESTORATION CELEBRATION!!!!!

 

 

Kimberly

[Bruce]

Hopefully I can learn to share my heart haven't been good at that. I know that is one thing Mindy needs from me. Keep[ encourageing me in that. So I visited Tim today and we talked . Ended up working through some sexual sins and some generational sins. Did not seem like anything new. Talked about idenity in christ, equal submission, laying our life down, It was good verifiction for what we are doing. You have a lot of time to think while driving and i'm not a very good multi tasker. At one point I was talking on phone and the 4 lane came to an end . I was totally lost . went into a gas station and ask where 24 was . He said I was 8 mile south of 24. How embarrasing. Any way I had a senic drive home but come to realize it don't mean much without Mindy to share with. Sometimes I get to thinking about all the hurt I've brought on Mindy and start crying . Other times I may cry out of lonliness and that could be a little self pitty We need to bring truth in at them moments and the truth is God supplys all our needs . He is enough. I have been thinking about writing a letter of appology to Mindy's parents and maybe useing some of the same material we used for the children? what do you think? It seem's like it has not come as easy maybe I need to pray more about it.. ?

[Bruce]

:l ol: :| How do you move faces? Thanks...

[Bruce]

Here I go again but not sure why? Just know I am in desperate need of change. Little bit ago I went to punch in a news article and just as I punched it changed to a swim suit ad Iclicked that one off. I won't to be honest wiith God and Mindy from now on. About 6 weeks ago I burnt a whole bag of R rated dvds. I had allowed these to become my idle. Any time I felt bad instead of looking for ways to meet Mindys needs I would run off to my Idle . Sometimes they had sex scenes and I would justify it in my mind. I realize how wrong it was. It was doing a lot of harm to our relationship. I'm sure it brought lots of pain to Mindys heart and widened the gap between us .How could I be so blind? It breaks my heart to think of all my bad choices. I was so deceived and satan loves it . So much pride and selfishness . I just pray Mindy can forgive me again Ive caused so much damage..... On a lighter note I am getting realy fond of that new name Mindy" If you want to hear some serious preaching go to ..... www.youmustbebornagain.org....... I heard these 4 young guys preach about 3 weeks ago at a locale church..... Maybe that is the lole\ don't know how to spell that one \ in the storm It's a little scary to go on but this is on my heart .Their was a really frighttening experience for Mindy this summer. This one is unbelievable . As I try to analize this thing it must be a control thing. Maybe someone else could help me on that one ? I don't seem to like it when Mindy refuses to talk or answer my questions and hangs up the phone on me .She has every right to do that knowing that I am in no frame of mind to listen to her .When i am like that I would shift the blame on her or shame her some how. Anyway I ask her something on the phone and she hung up. It was so terrible and abusive .I drove back home and parked behind her van and told her to roll the window down .Of course she would not roll the window down she could tell I was angry. What I did was pulled the window down and broke it. God have mercy again. That had to really frighten Mindy and cause her so much hopelisness and so much pain . O how could I do such a thing to my wife .No wander she can't trust me.Somehow I need a new way of thinking. I don't see how I can keep asking for forgiveness or expect it .....One other thing I may as wellget out .I'vebeen convicted to to bring it out and don't want to . It is so wrong so selfish . In no way is it justified . very self serving and not laying my life down for Mindy. I think back on this and realize I had wrong thoughts in my heart long before this sin was put into action in my will . I did not take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This does not make the sin againstMindy any less wrong or painfull. My first sin was when I betrayed her trust and had a key made for the bedroom door. At that point I still wanted to be in control. I was not willing to listen to her heart. THen one night when she would not talk again because she knew I would not be rational she went on to bed. This made me angry. I got my key opened the door which was wrong and said lets talk . that was very abusive just to force my way in . I won't justify my actions in any way by even saying what Mindy said .All of my actions were totally wrong that night . I theatened her about having her next time and cussed at her. THen iI grabbed her in bed and said if you think I'm so terrible I will be terrible . Then left the room while she packed . I then come into the room again pushed her on the bed sat on her and pulled her dress up and touched her then left . THat had to be so humiliating/ so hurtful /so painful/ so fearful / Her last words to me were how can I ever trust you again .I still hear the pain in those words. How can she trust me again ? I don't know but I intend to become trustworthy. Please forgive me Mindy for all the terrible trama I have put you through. Ijust can't hardly amagain how terrible I have treated you.I'ts really almost unfathimable. I'm asking the Lord to show me the pain .Also praying for your safety. I understand perfectly well why you moved out.

[Pure in Heart]

As I try to analize this thing it must be a control thing. Maybe someone else could help me on that one ? I don't seem to like it when Mindy refuses to talk or answer my questions and hangs up the phone on me .She has every right to do that knowing that I am in no frame of mind to listen to her .When i am like that I would shift the blame on her or shame her some how. Anyway I ask her something on the phone and she hung up

 

The strange thing about control is that it is generally born out of fear. When a man fears he will not get his needs met he will go about trying to FORCE other people to meet those needs...the problem Bruce with fear is that it is generally unfounded and an imagined threat.

 

A man has many different fears..

 

fear of not being a man

fear of rejection

fear of losing respect

fear of being found out (the real you)

 

So, when Mindy would act in a way that pushed your button of fear you would get angry and try and take control. You thought she was not doing something you thought she should. Now, for you the only way to make her stop in your mind was to use your "weapons of control" you knew always worked to get her to back off or shut up or go away or even give you what you want.

 

Unfortunately, those methods of control and anger do not work. God says, love works...

 

God's Word says, that His perfect LOVE casts out all fear. As a Christian you now that love never fails but anger does not accomplish the will of God.

 

All mindy could do is to try and stop your abuse by walking away or hanging up a phone on you. To your mind it "appeared" that she was doing something TO YOU instead of she was RESPONDING to your rage and anger.

 

 

A wife is supposed to respond to her husband like a mirror. A wife picks up in her husband what is really going on. That is exactly why God put this responsive nature in her. Her reactions to you or responses show you how you are missing the mark of CHrist-likeness. You know you hurt her because she acts hurt. You know she is scared because she ran away in fear. Whatever you sowed in her heart you will also reap. It is that simple of a principle.

 

When a wife is hurt enough times, she at first tries to supress her hurt but she can not keep doing that. After a while she will have to get away from her husband because YOU are hurting her and not loving her. She needs to be loved to survive. This is how God made her.

 

PIH

[Bruce]

Thank you PIH for your help. You really spoke to my heart. I will try to get in my heart that is what I need. Your right about control born out of fear .When I was young I litteraly thought I did not have any friends and no one lliked me .I believed that lie . When someone befriended me a little I would grab on and hang on like a leach but did not have anything to offer back. I can see that happening even more later on. When I met Mindy I wanted to do the same thing which was hang on and suck the life out of her. I simpley did not have any life to give back . I can see that her heart was open and remember her sharing some real intimate things with me .I was deffinatly Mr Dumb. I am sure I had that fear tha talked about leaving.t she would leave me or reject me or not meet my needs. My thinking was so screwed up .One time she actually talked about leaving me and I think that was hard for her to do because I had already defrauded her which made a connection which is hard to brake . O how I wish I could do so many things differant. God have mercy for taking an innecent young girl and defrauding her almost forcing her to do something she did not want to do. Please forgive me for that terrible sin. When I ask the lord to show me how that made Mindy feel it made me cry. I'm sure Mindy felt used and taken advantage of. Im sure she felt forced to do things she did not want to do. You see when we defraud a person before we are married and don't repent of it we no longer develope an emotional relationship everything from then on is based on the phyisical relationaship. I know that Mindy wanted an emotianal relationship and I took that away from her. Well I guess I did not know where I was going . I wanted to dig more into these fear things maybe later....... Do you think I am learning anything about getting into my heart and if not how can I effectivly do that?.......Thank you so much I do want to become a godly man that can learn how to lay his life down for his wife.

[Bruce]

I like the thought that our wife is like a mirror she will reflect back what we shine onto her . WOW... Here I go again but not sure where just trusting the Lord to show me . I was thinking earlier how these different fears apply.....Fear of not bei ng a man .... Just praying.... I think a rea man would always have a beautiful women with him. She would want to be with him all the time / surely ride with him to work once in awhile/ or be seen on the job site to make her husband feel good/ Realy a real man would want to have his wife at his very beck and call./a real man would want to lok good drive a nice vehicle /work real hard with no breaks /that what real men do....WOW.... Im still not sure if this came out of my heart or if I just copyd my life? What a formula .No women would want to live up to this. If I had a fear of not being a man like this' then I would have to become a very controlling person in order to attain that .To expect this out of mindy was very wrong and very controlling. I was so wrong because of my fear and false belief about what a man is. A real man needs to lay down his life for his wife. A real man would think of his family way before himself. I am so sorry I thought like that.......,.,What about fear of rejection?.......WOW....forcing others to meet my needs the sad thing about that is our family gets the worst of it.... Of coarse I had a fear of rejection all of my life I felt rejected to the point I thought I had not one single friend besides Mindy. I even had a fear she may not like me so I had to control her in order to pro tect my fears .Again what a deadly combanation to destroy Mindy........Fear of losing respect.........Don't know so much about this one but realize the more you try to force respect the less you will have coming your way.....Fear of being found out the real you.........When I was a teanager or even much later I would not want anyone to knowthat I felt worthless and no good. It would have destroyed the image I wanted so desperatly to portray to others. The sad thing is I did not even share that with Mindy. I remember sharing with a girl friend once just one time that peaple did not like me .Not to long afterwards she quit dating me and someone told me it was because I was not popular. I'm sure that settled my resolve not to share my heart. Just makes me cry to think that a girl as special as Mindy had to get envolved with someone like me that brought her so much pain in one lifetime .I am so sorry Mindy. I had to become very controlling in order to keep other peaple from finding out who I was. Even when I became more abusive I did not want any one to know. Obviously we had to devise more way to control. We was good at telling others how to live but could not do it ourselves. when I lok back on my life it is hard to amagine the kind of a person I have become. Such a self centered life.

[Bruce]

Just thinking today a little more about fear. One thing I never wanted found out is I had an secret desire to be like my brother Ward . Seems like he had everything I did not. Lots of freinds....Nice cars..... Gift for gab; life of the party.......Money ....Well liked... yet if you ask him he has insecurities also.Ps. 64:1 O GOD preserve me from the fear of the enemy Maybe the enemy is my fear but satan loves to put those fears there.

[Bruce]

I want to right a letter of appology toMindy's parents maybe if one of the helpers would look at it it would be good . Thank you.

 

I write this letter with many regrets. I regret especially the ways I have sinned before God; specificallyagainst your daughter. What I have done in regaurds to the hypocrisy I have lived out before your daughter I can only hope to express with deep sorrow and repentance. I am not expecting you to forgive me . I am only asking for another chance to make up for all the ways I have brought destruction to your family. You do not have to ever give me that chance nor do I ever expect this chance from your daughter. the chance I am very aware must be earned and not just given without rebuilding trust and proof of certain changes in my relationship with God and others. I truly wish I could go back and do things differently but I can not. It is in no way an excuse to be let off the hook . I have determined in my heart to take responsibility for my sin against your daughter. I have reaped the consequences and rightly so;of what my behavior warrented . God is just.

I have been confrontedin these last weeks with the truth about my actions to your daughter. I am eternally gratefull for her courage and strenghth for finally standing up to the oppression I made her live under all our married lives. I was very selfish and self centered. My agenda was more important than anything else. Please forgive me.

I was not a loveing husband to your daughter. Every parent needs their daughter to be loved by her husband. I sinned miserably and I take full responsibility for what I have done. I have treated your daughter terrible for many years. I have abused her in the most violent of ways . I did not respect her or cherish her or even love her. I was living only for myself and to cover up my sin. I was covering up my sin to the point that I cared only about not being found out.

I blamed her instead of taking responsibility for my own actions. I have not loved your daughter as God commanded a man to love his wife' I was selfish and lived my life for me; and not as a Christ like man who lays his life down for his bride. I did not accept or affirm your daughter in any way. I was mean and angry at her. I would not blame you for having nothing else to do with me. Your daughter is a very godley women I can see that clearly now. Her mercy and grace that she has extended to me is a picture of Gods very heart. The courage your daughter has walked out is to be admired. In the face of lie's, cover up's and never allowing God to deal with my sin of treachery- even positioning her to be wrongly judged is nothing short of a tterrible injustice to her.

I do not deserve the women she is. She is truly a perfect example of being like Jesus Christ.

 

 

PLease annilize this for me . THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

[PlansForHope]

Bruce,

I'm sure that other helpers will chime in here sometime this weekend regarding your letter, and offer their advice or suggestions they may have. I think you did a great job writing this letter to Mindy's parents!

 

The only suggestion I have is to just use the spell-check tool on your computer before printing it, other than that I think that it's an awesome apology letter!

 

You're doing a great job at acknowledging and admitting how your actions have hurt not only Mindy and your children, but her family as well. I'm praying that this will be the start of a better relationship between you and your in-laws; as they see you're really sincere and committed to doing whatever it takes to heal Mindy's many hurts from the abuse you've subjected her to for so many years!

 

God bless you for being willing to honestly post and share your struggles and feelings here on the forum; I'll continue to pray for you; that you'll continue to listen and follow through with the suggestions and advice given to you by the helpers here who love both you and Mindy, and only want God's best for your marriage!

[Bruce]

Just got back from town with Lynnae. Had a good time together . Seems like I love Mindy more every day. You may ask how can you love someone you abuse ? I just realise more all the time what a special women Mindy is. You could line up 1000 women and I can gaurantee you I would pick Mindy every time . I just know that my heart connects with her. I was going to send her flowers in washington to bless her and let her know I was thinking about her but then decided against it. I decided she wanted a nice trip maybe that would somehow ruin her trip .I pray the Lord will bless her every day. Guess i will go to Anderson to the Talberts for bible study again tonight God bless you

[PlansForHope]

Bruce,

Just had one more question for you as I was reading over your thread here; wondered if you'd been able to finish writing your letter to your children yet? Have you had any communication or contact with any of them regarding how things are going with you now, or explain what you're trying to do to change your behavior toward Mindy?

 

I hope and pray that they will really be open and willing to listen to what you have to say to them about your actions and abuse of Mindy during your marriage; and will support Mindy in her decision to file the RO for protection.

 

This could be a huge turning point for all of you to come together as a family, if they could grasp and understand what you're trying to do here by following God's plan for marriage; and take responsibility for how you mistreated their mother over and over again, then tried to place the blame back on her for your wrong choices. They will not understand why Mindy had to file the RO or how to support and encourage you until you can be totally honest and open with them about all the damaging things you've put Mindy through, and apologize for that! Your apology letter to your children was a good one, I hope that you're either working on it, or maybe even have sent it to your children already!

 

Just wondering about this; keep up the good work! Continue to put your trust in God to guide you, keep posting here for help, get on as many phone calls from the forum as you can, and most importantly of all; keep following through with the advice that J&K and the helpers here have given you!

 

God bless your weekend!

[Bruce]

PlansForHope Thank you for your help and concern . Yes I have sent the letters .All the children have read their letters except for Kendall . He maybe has tonight but did not want to with Mindy watching him. I have not had a lot of feed back but with some of our communication we had earlier they seem to have had a better understanding of the situation and support their mother in her deciesion. I am trying to be open with them about what I am learning.

[Bruce]

Went to bible study again tonight at Johns. A long drive but worth the fellowship. The last time I went I opened up about how I have abused Mindy The prayers and encouragment were good. Peaple there are good about opening their hearts and discussing their needs. You never know who might be there ? Everyone from the Germans to the mormans to the neighber. John that lives there can be kinda moody. John was in prison for 38 years of his life. His first wife which he met in prison was killed in an accident about 12 or 15 years ago. He seems to be kind of controling and don't listen to his wifes heart. [ sounds like me ] Maybe I will give him a book. He said in prison he was very wealthy because he sold drugs . He is a christion now . I finally have spell check set up on my computer. Now I need to figure out how to use it . One thing at a time.

Just praying for Mindy tonight God bless

[Bruce]

Joel and kathy

I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the message of truth that you are teaching. O how could I have been so blinded to the truth for so long is almost beyond me . It breaks my heart to think of the hell I have put Mindy through even this last year and a half when I had every opportunity to apply it . It became so clear to me tonight to think what Mindy must of felt when I opened the bedroom door that night....

How could she ever trust me again.. She had to feel like all of her hopes and dreams were coming to an end .All of the hope she had held onto even in the midst of hoplesness. All the years of never being able to trust me or beleive me. I'm sure it was like all of my abuse in one big package. Mindy I know you have a good heart and can forgive me for this terrible deed. Yet I don't deserve it and am embarrassed to keep asking.

I pray that I can learn to care about your heart. Whatever it takes I want to learn how to do that . Wherever you are toninght my heart goes out to you and I want to bless you I willpray for you some more .Your servant

[Bruce]

Thought I would post a little today .I took the letter over to Mindy's parents today to give to them. They were not home so I called dad to find out where they were. You want believe this . He said they were in Florida . Now that blows my mind because you would think they would surely call their favorite son in law and let him know they were leaving . I may be the favorite but you need to realize I am the only one . I think I need to work on that relationship. I have been trying to connect more often. On a scale of 1-10 I'm probably a 1. Someone please tell me how to move towards a 10 ? Thank's. Guess I better get on the phone call soon. I hope Mindy is having a good time . I may go to Shankster's for bible study in morning .BLESS YOU

[Bridget]

Someone please tell me how to move towards a 10 ? Thank's. Guess I better get on the phone call soon. I hope Mindy is having a good time

 

Just keep doing what you are doing. Working toward being Christlike to your wife.

 

Your wife's parents may be the last ones to accept this change as for real. It is between them and Mindy who will believe that the change is real last. I would think Mindy will accept you more quickly than her parents, and then her parents will suspiciously hold out and watch you from afar.

 

Basically, ALL parents want their daughters to be happy, taken care of, loved, cherished and provided for. They don't want to have to worry about them. They want to know someone (you) will take very good care of their baby girl. When you don't do that, AND you HURT HER as well, you become a negative 10 on a scale of one to ten. A one would be generous!

 

However, I know from experience, that as soon as parents see their daughter smile a real smile, and begin to relax and enjoy being a wife again, even the hardest hearts begin to melt and they begin to want to accept you, even though their suspicions will cause them to hold out for a little while longer.

 

My parents CRIED when I told them I was going to the intensive. They cried. They were angry. They did NOT want me letting my husband back into our lives. They thought I was crazy. But after several weeks of being the man that he needed to be, they began to change their feelings toward him. They weren't letting their guard down, but they were starting to understand the changes that I was expecting him to make. They became nicer toward him, and more open to the idea that he might change.

 

Of course, my husband at that point, abandoned the program, thinking that he had sucked me back in enough that I wouldn't go on with my life without him. He was wrong. Our divorce will be final very soon.

 

Please don't let that be you. As things get difficult, and you don't think you can go on anymore because there is no "break" in sight, just remember that this is satan trying to convince you to give up! Usually when things look their worst is when God is about to come in and rescue you...so satan will try to derail you before that happens (in my experience, anyway).

 

Just don't give up, Bruce. Stay the course, and remember that slow and steady wins the race. Just keep walking through this as you are instructed, and you will reach the finish line one day.

 

God will be so pleased with you. He will be smiling down at you, and he will be saying, "well done, my good and faithful servant!"

 

What a day that will be!

 

Take Care,

Bridget

[Bruce]

Thank you Bridget

Tonight I went to my nonviolent alternatives class . They showed a short video that was about me . It could have been me much to my discus. The man walks in his house with his wife after being at councilor . Obviously he is angry because he slams the door . He comes home very angry because the counselor is suggesting they separate for awhile .He doesn't think the counselor has a right to do that.and yet his wife thinks it is a good idea to separate. Then he don't like it that she talked about sex and this made him angry also. It was obvious he had a fear of loosing his wife and loosing control. He said divorce was an abomination in Gods eyes .Very shaming and shifting blame. Then while his voice is raised and his arms are flailing he is backing his wife into a corner telling her not to be afraid. What a jerk it just reminds me of myself in so many ways. I'm sure Mindy can put herself in this situation .It just breaks my heart to think of putting Mindy in this setting and I have done that to her so many times. It all comes from trying to control . I was deceived I was. so wrong I;m sure these kind of actions and simulate ones caused her to feel betrayed; belittled, shamed , hurt, threatened warned and in doubt . I am so sorry for making you have all these feelings Mindy I pray you can forgive me. I was so very very wrong. I pray you will have a safe comfortable trip home .I have really missed your prescience here. Good night