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Good morning to all

We are going to work about 8:00

Will work on some trucks today .

Was reading in Eph. and ps.

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we WILL rejoice and be glad in it.

It will be a choice we make to be glad in the day.

God is good.

Its going to warm up this week so that is good .

 

Have a good day

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:54 am

 

 

Mindy already told me i could go to Ohio on friday i thought .

 

 

 

I did leave on thurs. night

 

 

Friday does not mean Thursday! Rolling Eyes and then, you say you are confused??

 

Once again, you say you want to be a blessing to your wife, but you are not living in an understanding way. You listen to what she says, but you do what Bruce wants to do. This is the way that you have always lived with her, so why would she ever want to go back to that??

 

She's looking for consistancy. She's looking for you to honor what you say with actions.

 

Not good Bruce - as for your other questions, someone will get back to you after hearing from your wife. She may just decide to say nothing, figuring what will it matter, anyway.......

 

Bruce, the goal here is to BLESS Your wife, not push her further away from you. Just being honest, here.

 

Kay

_________________

Intensive Alumni 9/07, Husband rejected program after 2 months, separated 4/08, I filed for divorce 7/08, h-back on board with Ministry; divorce canceled/09, renewed vows with J & K on Cruise - 6/09 , hosting call on Sunday's. We're living proof that this Ministry works!

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Pure in Heart

Helper

 

 

Joined: 25 Apr 2008

Posts: 1837

Location: Upstate, New York

 

PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:17 am Post subject: Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post Delete this post View IP address of poster

bruce,

 

She is not trying to "cramp" your style.... it is the heart matter behind the issue that counts. It could be about anything under the sun we are talking about.

 

What we are after is that she needs to know that you are listening to her heart every time she has a request or is "feeling" something.

 

In the past you always did your own thing when you wanted to. You do not commit to plans and then follow through. Even when you ask that is good but you have to double check...and stick to the request.

 

The point of this is the motive and attitude of your heart we are trying to get you to see and understand here.

 

If you treat every request with keeping her heart in the forefront of your mind then this causes her to feel safe. It effects her emotional security because she knows that you care and are mindful of her needs. When a wife feels that her husband is a man of his word...she respects him and she feels trust in him. That he is a man of faithfulness and integrity.

 

Most wives when they feel this way and the husband says, hey darling...I am going or doing such and such...or I want to do this or that...she is like fine honey...because she trusts you. She knows if you say you will do something then you will. She relaxes and you become a trustworthy person.

 

Kimberly

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Kimberly and kay

 

First off i still think that your post did not show up until after i posted my post . I always look for new post and it seems like that has happened a few times . Anyway it is never intintional [i know it's spelled wrong ; but every time i mess with it it gets worse] . Now that sounds like my life don't it . Guess i need to quit messing with it and allow God to take over.

My reasoning isn't always to good . Reasoning that starting out on thur. night would be okay .

I would listen to phone call while driving and be rested in morning.

Or maybe i;m just selfish.

Any way i can see now that it did not bless mindy and that is the objective here.

It also did not show faithfulness and integrity or a good attitude

From now on i will do my best to do what blesses her.

 

I have already told Ren i would not come there; but possibly some time later. Honestly i was getting tired of going out there.

If she wants me to do any of those other things she can let me know.

today i have been reading chapter 3 & 4 in the man of her dreams the women of his. We won't to become more consistant so that we can bring healing to her heart

 

Thought this was sent last night ;but i guess it was not .

Reading in 2:cor. 4 this morning.

For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

 

Thank you

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Sorry that somehow that post did not go through last night. Of course it appears like i was ignoring the situation which was not the case. Actually i may have forgot to send it or like this morning it would not go through very easy. My web service i was using disappeared so i don't know what the deal is with that. Still very baffaled by the computer . I am assured my beautiful wife would have it figured out in seconds. The fact is i can't get along without her. I was reading about being her source of life and strength and i want to be that realizing i have fell way short in the past . Possibly even non excistant. I see reading back through her papers she desperately needs consistency so i will make a desperate effort to be more consistent.

I wanted to see each of the children each week and thought i could come up with a schedule . but that doesn't seem to work with them.

Today Brian has to go to doctor again . I am afraid he could go down hill fast. Need to go to LIscense branch. Finish up big truck and tonight is my class.

Thanks for the input

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hi

I am just setting here meditating on what a special wife i have.I really miss her and love her and i don't want to do anything else to hurt her.

Then i was thinking about her birthday in a couple days.

 

Do any of you gals have any ideas how i can really bless her on her birthday or any ideas what i can do for her or get her. She is a really great women and worthy of lots of honor on her birthday or any time for that matter. I want her to be happy ;but was thinking that by her next birthday if i have anything to do with it she will be out ragiously happy and have a happy marriage.

Need to go to my class and learn more then stop at our sons for awhile.

 

Thank you

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Bruce I know that Kay and PureInHeart already addressed this but I want to point something else out. You said:

 

you can be assured i did not get to Ohio before fri.

 

This comment of yours right there pointed out something serious. You thought about leaving ahead of time. In your mind you thought you could leave on Thursday and get a good start so that when friday midnight hits you would be in Ohio and by doing it this way you would have done what Mindy asked. Did you post about your intentions regarding that? no! Why not? It HAD to have crossed your mind if you went to such an elaborate thought process to justify your leaving on Thursday.

 

My six year old recently thought it would be okay to help himself to literally ALL of the candy and chocolate we had in this house (5 rolls of life savers, all of the chocolate in his dad's advent calendar, emptied our three candy jars filled with chocolate, licorice and somethine else). He said he thought it would be okay but he did not think it would be okay to the point where he came to us and asked us if he could have some. He snuck it. We are still finding wrappers around our house as a result!

 

Do you know what the lesson we had to teach him was? We had to teach him that if he wanted something and thought he would not be allowed to have it if he asked, he would still need to make sure that he asked! Sneaking is never okay! You might say you did not sneak but reality is you did. You did not disclose where you were headed. You justified it in your head by telling yourself that you would not be IN Ohio until after midnight and therefore you were doing what Mindy requested. That is barebones Christianity right there. You put yourself and your needs and desires above living out the God-change you claim to Mindy has started to happen to you! These are the moments that count Bruce. The moments where Mindy has made a request and you followed it to the letter of the law are golden! Those are the moments when her heart will light up because she sees the change REALLY happening in you! The Old Bruce would have left on Thursday and made sure he was in Ohio after midnight so he could say he was not there until Friday.

 

The new Bruce would have realized that Mindy requested that he not GO to Ohio until Friday. What does that mean? That means that the New Bruce would have realized that not GOING to Ohio until Friday means don't LEAVE for Ohio until Friday. It does NOT mean 'don't be IN Ohio until Friday.'

 

Do you get the difference here? The Old Bruce will stretch the truth and stretch Grace as far as he can to get what he wants. The new Bruce will die to himself over and over in order to bless his wife simply by doing exactly what she asks of him. It is not hard.

 

Remember this: If you have to justify something in your mind then it is not the right decision. End of story.

 

I hope you get this. I know you can and have seen growth but like I already said the moments that count are the ones where you prove yourself by demonstrating the growth you say is happening in you.

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Hi

We were just laying here meditating again and a little hard to sleep so we were praying for mindy . We realize she must be going through some pain now .

Just the fact of going throughher birthday by herself and maybe shes okay with that ;but i don't think it's fun to go through it by yourself . The thing is i have caused it so i feel bad about it. No doubt there has been birthdays i did not even recognize because i have been very uncaring . And i am very sorry i have been like that . We do care about her from the bottom of our heart and want herb to have a happy birthday. Then there is other things going on that has to be very hard and then again to be by herself . I am so very sorry about that . It shoulden't have to be that way and it makes me cry to think of the pain and loss she must feel because of that . No one should have to do it on there own. If we had not bee such an uncaring husband . I look back and think of all the times she had to go through sickness and pain and it is about more than i can bear . such a load she has to bear because of my actions . When i think of the movie Fireproof . That is definatly the man iwant to be and intend to become . I long to take care of Mindy like he did when his wife was sick .

ILl just be praying the Lord will change my heart and reveal to me all the ways i have hurt Mindy. I hope and pray that Mindy has a very fulfilling and happy time tonight.

Last night we went to our class. When we go in every one is just setting there looking all glum saying nothing so i said what's every one look so glum about.

One guy says... I can't drink for 6 more weeks... Well whatever I wish that was my only problem. I ask the same question at Greenwood and not sure what they said ;but i told them we ought to be glad were not in jail. The guy setting beside me said he just got out of jail .

Today we will try to trim some trees .Last night we got our hair cut at kyles

Good day

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Jaya

I am sure now that old post don;t come on my computor untill i post new .

I did not see your post untill i posted tis morning.

 

And you are absalutly right. I new all along i should wait . but i justified that it would be okayin my mind. I am sorry for that and ask Mindy to forgive me . I will not make the same mistake again. The whole day was a drag and did not bring peacable fruits of righteousness. From now on i intend to bless mindy however i can

 

Thanks for pointing that out although i already new it in my heart.

AS they said last night our concsience always works we just need to listen to it .

 

God bless your day

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We were just laying here meditating again and a little hard to sleep so we were praying for mindy . We realize she must be going through some pain now .

 

We ??? Bruce, are you now using the word, "we" so you don't have to say the word "I" too many times??

 

OMG You are too much!

 

I'm getting too old for this job? :?

 

Bruce, are you listening? Just go back to using the word, "I" Okay??

 

Unless, you have an imaginary friend???? :shock:

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good evening

Just setting here and thinking about mindy again . She is on my heart a lot .

Im thinking again how she has to go through tonight and tomorrow epesially without me again. I realize over our married life i have not been there for her so muchof the time. If i ever see her again i intend to do all i can to make her happy . Life really has so very little meaning with out her . I look forward to bring ing her lots of happiness. Thinking of all the special times i missed with the children and her brings me great sadness. I can not amagine what it must do to her heart. So many times i was working when i should have been home ; but even when i was i was not with them . I am so sorry for that. I want our home to be a happy place and it has not been in the past. Mindy used to be sick a lot and would spend a lot of time in bed . I am so sorry that lots of times when she needed me i would be gone or out in the barn. I regret it with all my heart. Then a lot of times her mother would come over and help ; but i resented it because it made me look bad , which i was very self centered. Sometimes her mother needed to be there and i should have been blessed by that and made Mindy feel good about it.Instead i complained and made Mindy feel bad or seperated from her mother. O how i wish we could go back ; but we know that is impossible. I hope and pray she will forgive me for this terible neglect to the most important person in my life. There was times when she did not feel good and i ran off and did my own thing with out her . I don't know how i can ever make up for all the wrongs ; but will spend the rest of my life trying. She was kind enough to give me a post and i really appreciate it . It is more than i deserve from her. Im trying to annilize it . Its about anger and recognizing our emotions . Really good stuff and i want to study it more. Maybe she thinks im angry ,does anyone else think that? I certainly don't want to be. I sure thank God for a good wife like Mindy . I could never ask for a better one or a differant one . She is the one and only for me.

 

need to listen to phone call awhile and read some more.

 

God bless

 

Had a good work day and picked up another job which is good.

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Kay

 

I will use i; but don't want every thing to be about i.

 

By the way if you wander who the we was laying there in bed please don't ask that would be hard vto explain.

Any way i don't like it that your new post don;t come on untill i post .

I guess nothing i got incuding i works right.

 

Think i got it now

thanks

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Good morning

 

I was just thinking that i could use the word we just to find out if any one is reading my post . { smile } if i ever see my wife one of the first things to do is find out how to put faces on this thing .

Still thinking about mindys day. A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her . I know there is some things about the day that is not to happy for her . My heart and thoughts and prayers go with her today. I wish i could really be there for her just to take care and protect her heart; but obviously i have not done a good job of it in the past so there is no reason for her to believe i am any differant now.

I am going south of Laf. to work some today . Sat. night go to johns for bible study . He had a stroke about a wek ago ; but seems to be doing okay. Then go to victory sun. In the mean time it won't be a mean time . It will be a good time and i will learn how to become a good husband who knows how to lay his life down for his wife.

Its a real battle ; but we will put on the whole armer of God knowing that we are more than conquerers through him. The battle is won we just need to claim the victory . Sounds easy don't it. If you loose your life you actually save it ..

Was reading about spiritual warfare this morn.

 

Have a blessed day

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Bruce,

 

It saddens me that Mindy's birthday is today, and it isn't too "happy" for her. Please keep this in mind for future birthdays. You have so much making up to do for her. I remember her telling me, once, how you dropped her off at the doctor's office, far from the door, because you were "angry" that she wasn't going to allow you in the office with her. I remember her telling me how she was so weak, that she didn't think she'd make it without passing out. Do you remember this day?? I can't even imagine how that must have made her feel?

 

Bruce, for awhile there, you were thinking of times that you hurt her, and coming on the boards, apologizing for these times, but although, you seem to be thinking about her, I feel you still need to "go there" to those hurtful events, and take ownership of them. When I think of the pain that you have put her through, in the past, it makes me want to cry for her. Try hard, Bruce, to really feel her pain, today. Think of ways that you can make up for those past hurts.

 

Btw.... what did you end up doing for her birthday???

 

Kay

 

Also, pps.... Saying "we" instead of "I" doesn't change things. I understand you can't keep the word, "I" completely out of posts, but replacing it with "we" does nothing. As for who the "we" was that was in bed with you?? I'll take that as a joke..... I'm not going there - Lucky You!

 

Keep trying to bless Mindy today - somehow, someway - maybe, just by apologizing for specific hurts, and taking ownership of them. That would be a start!

 

Kay

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kay

 

It grieves my heart so much i just set here crying to think that shev desperatly needs my help and yet why would she want my help . She has plenty of help and yet i caused the whole thing. Then she has to bear the pain by her self because of me. Then kay you mentioned the episode about the time i made her walk. I was so selfish and worried more about my self than her . I was worried about my own reputation . I need to remember i lost any good one long ago. That day was hard enough for her without me adding to the stress of it. Im sure mindy had to feel very abused and uncared for that day . O how i wish i could go back and do that over . I am so sorry for that day and many more like it please forgive me for that.

When she had lynnae she was sick and in bed a lot . It grieves my heart again to think i could have helped so much even when i wasen't working ; but actually i could have stayed home from work . I think i was some how jealous maybe of others helping even her own mom. This allowed me to withdraw . That had to make Mindy feel rejected by her own husband . I wish i could take all of the pain even of today and take it on myself so she woulden't have to bear it . I am sorry for that pain . Back to other times No person should have to go through that rejection and i intend to do all in my power to make up for it.

Somehow i thought work was more important than anything else . That was my addenity. So wrong . Christ needs to be our addenity and along with that our wife . I have so a good wife . There is absalutely no way i could ever find a better one Mindy is kind , thoughtful , full of fun . O lord what have i done in destroying the very best thing i have in this life . I would sell it all and live in a tent just to be with her.

WEnt to work today and brian was so dizzy you could hardly see him move .

I feel sorry for him he is going through some tough stuff . So we went home and we should never have went . Tomorrow kyle will help. Hopefully we will get done there.

I do so want to bless Mindy . She is such a special women . It seems there is so little i can do

I got her a gift certificate to a spa {Christinas} or something like that.

Then a bloon and some roses.

 

thanks kay

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Mindy wrote this:

 

 

I am recovering ok. I woke up from surgery crying and the thought running through my head over and over - I am all alone - I am all alone. Not a good feeling. The surgeon also told me that we are going to have to schedule more surgery in the near future.
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Bruce;

Good job on posting things you're sorry for; and realizing the ways you've hurt Mindy during your marriage. That's a great thing when you realize and admit all the ways you've hurt and abused her; and apologize here!

But you don't want to stay stuck in here in this process; please go back from the very beginning of your thread here and read the help, suggestions, and encouragement that J&K and the helpers have given you, there's lots of really good advice for walking this out, and being very consistent every day with doing whatever it takes to heal Mindy's heart, and become a Christ-like man! God can and will help you with this process; His plan always has been for husbands and wives to have godly marriages; and follow His biblical plans for families!

How are things going in healing your relationships with your children? With your family? With Mindy's family? These are important things to do that will bless Mindy's heart; I'll pray that you can ask God for strength and courage to do this; continue to read the books, listen in on the phone calls, watch the dvd's, post here on the forum, etc.

God bless you for continuing to walk this tough road, you have a lot of people praying for you, encouraging you, supporting you!

So just keep moving forward here, the end result will be an OHM for you

and Mindy if you continue to be consistent here; every day, every hour, every minute ask yourself "Is this action, thought, or attitude I have being Christ-like?"

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Thanks PFH

 

I want to do what is Christ-like and also bless mindy. It is hard to keep every thing in mind all at once .Its easy to focus on one thing ' but i need to keep the big picture in mind. Now im not sure if i am supposed to dig upold hurts or not .

Please explain more what you mean by not being stuck in the process.

I am so sorry that when Mindy woke up she had to feel so alone . I wish i could have been there to protect her from that. I am sure because of me she has had to feel alone much of her life. I don't want her to have to go through those feelings again.

I will read back through this although that sounds big ; but will be worth it all if i can become a better husband

Thank goodness God can take the shattered pieces and put them back togeather again.

God bless And i am praying Mindy can feel better today.

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Sorry, Bruce, that I didn't clearly explain my comment about being stuck in this process!

It's a good thing for you to realize how you've hurt Mindy, recognize and post that here, and apologize for that! You're doing a great job at that; keep on doing this here! This will bless Mindy's heart.

All I meant by that comment was after you do that, then keep moving forward with your day, keep posting here what your plans are, keep connecting with your children and grandchildren; keep reading here on the forum, in the books, watch the dvd's; stay in contact with your Christian friends, be consistent in all these things daily!

I'm so sorry if I made it seem like you weren't supposed to apologize and remember past hurts; you're doing an excellent job at this! But after you do this, then just keep working on becoming a Christ-like man; keep moving forward with your routine and daily schedule!

Thanks for asking for clarification here; like your comment about God taking the shattered pieces and putting them back together!

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Thank you PFH

zI have really been thinking about my sweet wife Mindy a lot today. I really miss her alot . There is no one i would rather spend my time with. I have been pray ing for us a lot today and especially for me that my heart will turn more to Mindy . It seems like when i was told to back off it just about killed me; But if that blesses mindy then it is a good thing .I love that women more than life itself. I was so looking forward to getting her supper; but am glad she is well taken care of. I am glad she is feeling better.

That phrase about God putting the shattered pieces togeather was from a song ; but i am trusting him to give us an outraigiously happy marriage .

I want that for Mindy . She deserves it . She has had to go through such hell.

Kyle and i had a good day at work . He can put out twice as much work as i am used to getting . It was good to work with him. Jim called and wanted to take me to lunch so we all went and rodney wol... also . Sounds like they had a good bible study last night wish Mindy would have felt up to going.

Spent last evening at arlyns and enjoyed that a lot . They wanted me to go to the childrens museum with them today. That would have been fun ; but kyle was already coming to work and one truck was setting there. May be the next time.

 

 

God can take the shattered pieces and rebuild the bridges that youve burned

Would you like to go back and take back some words you have spoken.

and tell that certain someone ,that hatred is a battle no one ever wins

and it hurts so bad inside that you break right down and cry when no love is returned

but God can take the shattered pieces and rebuild the bridges that youve burned

He can touch those for the peaple , with broken dreams and broken heart and make them see

And they will know your truly sorry and cause them to remember how it used to be

He can change a life completely and melt a cold cold heart when to him you turn

Sometimes it takes loosing to find what someone or something really means

And when the bridge is broken you find your weaker than you ever dreamed

And youve shed a 1000 tears wishing you could turn back years

But God can take the shattered memories and rebuild the bridges that you burned

 

I wish i could put the beautiful tune on here . So beautiful yet so very very sad . I shed many a tear just getting this on here.

O God help me . I realize i have shattered so mnany of Mindy dreams and broken her heart so many times It is about more than i can bear . I can't amagine the pain she must have just in reading this song.

I truly want nothing more than for her to be happy. O if i could just go back .

God don't work like that ;But thank the Lord he gives new beginnings

 

Committed to my wife for life to love her and cherrish her

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It seems like when i was told to back off it just about killed me; But if that blesses mindy then it is a good thing

 

You were going to fast, Bruce. Mindy wasn't ready for that. What she needs is space to heal. So, yes, you needed to back away, so she could have the space she needed, and by doing that, you did bless your wife, even though, it "nearly killed you" - This is what we mean by "dying to your flesh" You do what your wife needs, and not what you "think" she needs or wants. You listen to HER heart.

 

Now, I'm wondering, Bruce, all this time that you spent with your family.... How do you act by them?? Are you sad? Do you feel sorry for yourself in front of them? Or, do you share what you are learning, and how you are doing everything in your power to change into a man of God? Have you explained some of the things that you have done to Mindy, and how you are going to do everything possible to make it up to her, for the wrong's you caused? Or, do you visit them, and take that time to try to "forget" your problems?? Please know that I'm not here to tell you what you have done was wrong, as I have no idea. I'm just trying to get you to think about everything...

 

I know that you have had "pity party" issues, that you were acting like the victim, and I just want to be assured that your family knows that it is Mindy that has been hurt, and that you are Thankful, that your wife did what she had to do, in order to "help" you, turn into a Man of God.

 

I remember, not so long ago, that I came to the place, where I actually thanked God for bringing me through this trial in our life. It brought me closer to him, and changed our entire family into people who now, live their life for God, instead of living it for ourselves and our flesh. Have you thanked Mindy, yet, for helping you begin the journey of changing into a Man of God?? This is the mind set that you need to get to, and then you need to show that "thankful" man, to your friends and family.

Without Mindy's actions, think about where your life would be now?? Where it was headed? Do you realize that Mindy is saving your life???

 

Meditate on this, Bruce.

 

Btw...... Just want you to know that we are all proud of these beginning steps you are taking!

 

Kay

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Thanks kay

Last night i wanted to post again ; but could not get my post to come up .

You have to realize that most of my family did not even bring any thing up about me . They are good at living in denial although my dad did say he wished Mindy was there and although iwas about to mention that we ought to sing to Mindy patty beat me to it. She does care about mindy. Abe is the only one that brought the subject up. We had a possitive time and some good prayer time . I try to take the blame and not come accross as a victim. Wren called later and tryed to convince me of some things ; but i understand how an abusive person thinks. I stood my ground on him and took responsibility and said i was called to lay my life down for my wife and love her . I intend to keep that promise. I have explained the wrongs i have done in the past to my family . Unless they bring it up i am not sure i ought to dwell on it plus im not sure they want to hear more about it. If it would bless mindy i would gladly bring it up to them. Perhaps i can try to tell them how thankful i am.

 

I do want way more change in my life and i have thanked God for allowing this in my life.

You are right i have not thanked Mindy. Thank you Mindy For helping me to grow up and become a man of God that you can love and respect. I want much more growth in my life .You are the dearest thing to me on this earth. I want more than any thing else to become someone that can give you life and strength.

Need to go to town and do a couple things , look at job and go to bible study.

If mindy needs anything i hope she will let me know .

Went to bible study this morning ; but some how i don't fit in there . I fill much more excepted at Johns .

I was thinking about a time not so long ago when Mindy was curled up in her bed holding the teddy bear. When i look back on that it really brings anquish to my heart. She had to feel very alone then and also unexcepted and cared for .

So much of her life she had to feel alone because i was not there for her.

All the times she needed my comfort i would not give it to her. Please find itb in your heart to forgive me . I will do whatever it takes to make sure she don't have to feel that way in the future.

God have mercy on me.

I love you all

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I hope my good wife is having a good day. I need to bless her ;but am not sure what to do . I am so blessed to have mindy as a wife . I still can't believe that God led me to the perfect wife . I could not ask for a better one . And yet it is not so unbelievablen because God does love us and want's the very best for us . Thank you mindy for sticking with me and being such a faithful wife . I certainly don't deserve anyone as good as she is . I will love that women for life . I am so blessed . After while i will go to johns . Victory tomorrow

.

Next week there is the relationship meetings i am planning to go to .

 

If Mindy would like to go instead i will feel very blessed to not go . I already told them one person so if she goes she would not have to call .

 

Still desiring to bring healing to mindys heart .

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Hi

 

I had my dear wife on my mind again today . What a blessed man i am to have a wife like her. I am sorry that she has to live such a lonly life . I don't want her to have to live like that.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not i am with you; be not dismayed, for i am your God. Iwill strenghthen you ,yes I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

I am so sorry i caused her to have fear again in the bedroom . That was supposed to be her safe place. No one likes to live in fear and it was such a wrong thing i did. PLease forgive me. I will do every thing i can to make sure she don't have to live in fear ever again.

I was so decieved in saying i did nothing wrong because i did something very wrong. I was wrong in crashing through her boundaries.

I didn't mean to hurt her or want to hurt her ; but i did and i want to do whatever i can to fix it.

Last night we talked a lot about the church an what it is . There was not to many peaple there. The 90 year old mormon man always shows up . He likes the coffee

Have a blessed day .

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Blessings in Jesus name

Some of the most valuable things we have is ;suffering and tribulation for the perfecting of the saints . I realize how much i need them in order to become more Christlike. Thank you Lord.

Heard a powerful sermon from Bradley. Couldn't ask for better on the.

Freedom from the pendalty of sin

Freedom from the practice of sin

Freedom from the power of sin

 

I come to realize that lately i have fell back into the habit of trying to do things in my own power . Possibly we can change through the power of the flesh ;but usually we want the glory instead of giving it to God .I think you can preach a good sermon out of the power of the flesh if you have good flesh in the area of public speaking . God knows just what we need . I think he allowed Bradly to get messed up today and allowed him to be late . God got the glory because there was no doubt about the spirit working . For you that don't know Bradly he is about 25 and never preached before.

Every day we need to ask for his power and admit there is no way we can do it . Strenghth in weakness . We know all this ; but need to be reminded a lot.

I am so blessed by my Mindy . She does so many good things for me. She takes care of the books which i appreciate so much. Even today i found a new cd . Thank you so much for everything. You really do take care of the house and van and all so good.Your so neet and clean.

I was thinking how good of a helpmeet she has been over the years . Allways so kindly pointing out some of my faults and gently trying to get me to see. I would give anything for that help again because i do want to be more Christlike .

Yet in all my pride and arrested development and arragance i drove her away.

I don't blame her for quitting . Who could stand up to my onslot? I only pray she opens up her heart and trys to help me again . I believe that would bless me more than anything else.She is a women whos value is far above rubies and gold to me. I am proud to call Mindy my wife. AAH how can one person not only have one of the smartest women in the world ; but also one of the most beautiful or gorgeous as Joel says I am certainly a lucky man and i don't believe in luck so i guess i am really blessed.

I also know that in the past i have not been good at listening to my wifes heart; but through the power of the spirit i intend to become a professional'

I am so inadiquit of myself i need all the help i can get.

 

Thanks

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