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Pure...thank you for these insights. I went back to read them because i felt like i had inadventently not validated them.

 

...she is lost inside her pain of being unloved and praying that God would release her from the fear of wanting to trust but daring not to. The pain of divorce to her is less than this pain of feeling second-rate. She fears that your "changes" are more about YOU not a losing possession because she had to push you to it instead of you CHOOSING her on your own. She can not stop this conflict.
We have had some time lately to talk and this is exactly what she is saying. For the first time every, she told me that she doesn't know how to make it stop, she doesn't know how to cease the battle...she is considering asking for help. She is wanting to reach out for support and understanding...she may be ready for that conversation.

 

Reassure her.
...i definetly have; i think that it has made a big difference over the last two days. Reaching out to her pain...identifying the wounds as damage that i have caused. Tenderly and gently applying love to her sorrow, she has begun to see that i am for real.

 

Has she ever opened about how her self-esteem is so damaged?? How you would relay these thoughts to her are to look for those times again she says something similar about FB again

 

If she can make you feel insecure then you will adore her forever. Feel what she felt It is her own insecurities from the porn and lust and she does not know how to get that back again. She does not know how to ever trust you again.
This is true...i got to hear about her latest new FB friend last night...i did respond. In sincerity and honesty, i let her know that i was jealous and hurt. I let her know that i desired only her...that i yearned for only her, and that i cared only for her. We fell asleep together ...holding eachother. She thanked me for my admission and then said 'sweet dreams'.

 

Thank you Kimberly...thank you for your steadfast mentoring and input.

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Looney, WOOHOO!! Get your popcorn ready...i love this girl and i am praying for victory in her heart and in our marriage. She is so lovely, sweet, tender, and kind.

 

Will you tell her for me that I have prayed mostly for her - that her heart would be healed from all of the trauma she has experienced? We all want to be here for her if she will let us. The women here have an incredibly bond that defies logic, and we would like her to be a part of it.
...yes i will; but hopefully, she will be on here and you can share with her directly. Her heart will be so full and so encouraged to have Godly women by her side. I am thanking God and doin' the dance!
I can't wait to see the next chapter in your love story unfold . . . I think I need more popcorn! :wink:
oh yes...and diet coke with lime please!!!

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Warning . . . whine ahead . . . nothing to do with marriage . . .

 

Sigh . . . I used to love Diet Coke with lime . . . until a smart doc finally figured out that the nerve problems I was having were due to Nutrasweet. I am only allowed to have the regular stuff now . . . why did they stop making the regular with lime? If I'm home I just stick a lime in it, but that doesn't work when I'm out running around.

 

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread . . .

 

I can't wait till Sharleen joins us . . . she sounds like someone I would like to know. And if you're doin' the dance, I think she should get a video . . . blackmail material is always helpful. :wink:

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Huh??? Are you kidding

 

Bummer!! I love Diet Coke with lime ...i used to have it as my desert every night...maybe that's what this twitch is from :shock: :shock: :!:

 

 

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread . . .

 

I can't wait till Sharleen joins us . . . she sounds like someone I would like to know.
Oh, you'll just love her!! She is so sweet and gracious. She has the Lord's spirit of grace and kindness. She is funny and fun....industrious and relaxed...real and comical...she is the best! I am beyond blest to be in her life...she makes beautiful babies and her tenderness is rubbin' off on all our children...such a blessing!

 

And if you're doin' the dance, I think she should get a video . . . blackmail material is always helpful. :wink:
LOL!!!! As Phil Collins once sang...."I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way that I..." in my case- plead to God for His continued mercy and strength....

 

Thanks for the smiles...and the news on Diet Coke :roll: :(

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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...well, methanol is neurotoxic. Hate to be the bearer of bad news.
Looney...no worries; i once read in the Good Book, "A word to the wise is sufficient". There's so much to be grateful for...no need to focus on that one :D :D

 

have a great day!

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Michael,

 

She is coming around...she does want to talk with you and Pure in Heart...she is desiring to have what you have...she has seen the changes that your words and those of Pure and Looney and David are having. Praise the Lord

 

What??? and what can I do to help her?

 

Perhaps talk first to Kathy???

 

Oh, great God...

 

PIH

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Yes!!!!!! :D :D

 

Pure, over the last two days...as i have come closer and closer to feeling the pulse of her pain and made efforts to reach into her heart and apologize for the marred places in her ...she has opened up...she has confessed to not knowing the way out...she has now said...two days in a row..that she would like to 'get on there' and talk those who could help her get moving again.

 

I know you know that she is not looking to for anything more than support for her current course of action, but God is working!! :)

 

All in His timing and by His grace and mercy...Praise be to Jesus!

 

We serve a wonderful God! A great and wonderful God...

 

To see Sharleen restored in relationship with God...to see her completely restored is my hearts cry...marriage can wait...i can wait...but seeing her and God back together...that's the sauce for me!!

 

Hallelujah!

 

Michael

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Show her the forum, Michael, and give her YOUR password. Then she can read and get to know us, but she won't feel pressured to "sign up."

 

Just remind her that if she gets to the place where she'd like to post, she will need her own username, lest we think you are breaking the rules by posting to the girls. :wink:

 

I have a thread On the Other Side . . . just fun, most of it not marriage related because I don't have one of those anymore (a marriage, I mean.) Maybe she'd like to start there. It might be a less worrisome place to jump in.

 

I'm continuing to pray for you both . . . keep working hard at hearing her heart.

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Looney,

 

Great idea!

Show her the forum, Michael, and give her YOUR password. Then she can read and get to know us, but she won't feel pressured to "sign up."
Sure...i actually gave her my password a while ago...not sure if she kept it handy, but i made all my passwords, user accounts, etc available to her. Roger..will do!

 

Just remind her that if she gets to the place where she'd like to post, she will need her own username, lest we think you are breaking the rules by posting to the girls. :wink:
...good call...that would be wierd... :? And then, you gals could get to know her... 8)

 

I'm continuing to pray for you both . . . keep working hard at hearing her heart.
thank you Loo...i'm on my knees until God says "uncle"...you know, come to think of it. oops, interrupted by my inner voice; ..the soft voice in my spirit jus spoke up...wanna hear? Spirit Man just told me, "He won't say 'uncle' cuz on your knees is where you are supposed to be anyways"...oh yah :P :P God has a great sense of humor! :lol:

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Every once in a while...someone comes along and changes everything about the way you see things, the way you interpret life, the way you measure actions and reactions, and the credence you give certain behavioral responses to reactions...recently, my world was turned on its head. I have been struggling to get my feet back on solid ground...i have been challenged to step up and confront my own behavior and the damage i've done, and pursue righteousness on my wife's behalf.

 

It's one thing to say,"Go for it...Don't quit...Just Do it!", but it's another to not feel worthy of the pursuit or that the pursuit would be more harmful than beneficial...for me, i have had to contemplate my own thougt process and change some thinking. Heartsongs words were so strong that i was not wanting to disstress my wife any more. She is already suffering from PTSD from another, recent, tragic life horror...i did not want to increase her pain; i love her and value her above any and all others...my hearts cannnot take seeing her injured ever again by my doing...so i had to spend some time asking the Lord to change me.

 

Todays Bible reading hit the spot: I am ready to shed my past actions, behaviors, and attitudes and lead the new life that Christ has called me to. 2 Peter 1:4..."He has bestowed upon us His precious and exceedinly great promises, so that through them you may escape by fligt from the moral decay, rottenness and corruption, that is in the world because of covetousness, lust and greed, and become sharers of the divie nature. 5. For this very reason, adding your diligence to the divine promises, employ every effort in exercising your faith to develp virtue( excellence, resolution, Christian Energy), and in exercising virtue, develop knowledge, or intelligence. 6. And in knowledge, develop self-control, and in exercising your self-control, develop steadfastness (patience and endurance), and in exercising steadfastness, develop godliness. 7. And in exercising godliness, develp brotherly affection, and in brotherly affection, develop Christian love. 8. For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep you from being idle or unfruitful in our knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ...B/c of this, brothers, be all the more solicitous and eager to make sure your calling and election; for if you do this, you will never stumble or fall.

 

The other day, through the wisdom that Heartsong shared with us, i gained knowledge that would have otherwise never been available to me...thank you Lord for the strength of Heartsong. Please allow this knowledge to sink deep into my heart to have available at any moment in order to always have a tender heart for my wife, to better understand her, to better meet her needs, to more clearly understand her desires...

Help me Lord be that man you have called me to be as i lay my life down for Sharleen...as i listen to her heart...as i hear from her and gain a better insight and understanding of her...help me Lord to fulfill your calling on my life and never again stumble or fall...

 

Thank you for J&K, thank you for this ministry that is stretching me and pulling me...help me become all that Sharleen needs me to be to live in understanding with her and one day have an OHM: in Jesus name, AMEN.

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Just got home from the 2nd job....and feeling a little bummed.

 

I made some changes to my thread. My wife was willing to get online and when she my username...well, she was not happy with it. More specifically, with me.

 

Looney Tunes, Pureinheart,David, AzMike, and others, thank you for your encouragement and support. Looks like i really messed this up...she may not be willing to get on here anytime soon.

 

Saddened :oops: :cry: :cry:

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Michael,

You are being tested, remember we have to win their hearts. She is not going to give a little piece of the heart with out a fight. She is giving resistance to make sure she still has control where she is comfortable.

It is a huge move on her part and you need to see at as such.

 

The bummed out part is the cloaked "old man". I had/have to keep asking my self "where is this coming from." From what I want to do? I find myself getting bummed out when things are noth happening fast enough and then I remember - This is God's work only he can change a heart.

"Cast your care upon Jesus for he cares for you..." This literally means sack them all up and drop them off at the cross. You don't own them. Walk by faith not by sight, it is impossible to please God with out faith. Besides all that I pray for you, as I did this morning @ 3:10 am, God is doing something good I can feel it.

 

Michael

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Michael,

Remember who whispers so it seems like your thoughts, remember who wants this holy union destroyed. Remember who is the author of confusion, the one who would have us believe we have been defeated.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood...brother fight! Don't give an inch!

 

We have not been given the spirit of fear, we are more than conquerors.

The battle is fought on your knees brother.

The battle is not just for our wives and families it is MUCH bigger. Scriptures say if we lift up Jesus he will draw all men to him. When we become more Christ like we put Jesus on display, we lift up Jesus. God is glorified through our lives. He WILL NOT let you fail.

 

Hang on to the Fire Brother. STAND!

 

Michael

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Michael;

Have been praying for you and your wife since your last post! Just keep hanging in here; keep loving your wife and being that Christlike husband to her that you've been for the past few months!

 

You've got lots of support here; and I'm still praying that your wife will want to come here also and find encouragement and support for herself as well; praying that she'll have the desire to work together with you toward an OHM!

 

We serve an awesome God; Who is able to work miracles greater than we can even think or imagine; I'm praying today that He'll send miracles and blessings to you and your family greater than you ever thought possible!

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AzMike,

 

Greetings Brother...you were up early!! 8)

 

As i reflected on last night, i can completely see it as a test and the reaction,and you're right...i was bummed b/c i jumped back up and saw her dissappointment as my personal loss. Instead, i have to remember,(thanks for reminding me :wink: )that i have casted my cares upon the Lord...and He is able to do exceedingly more then i could ever dream or imagine. Praise be to His name! :!: :!:

 

There is a difference here that i have failed to grasp in the past; i too can see it in others, but often fail to see it in my own circumstances. Sometimes i am called to doing somethings, and at other times God is acting, doing those things on my behalf; its subtle: The Word says, "I can do all things (i am called to do)through Christ who gives me strength"...eg: walk out this journey of becoming Christlike, laying my ego, pride, and selfishness aside for my bride, etc. But, when it comes to people outside of me...my wife, my family, my children, my boss, etc. i am called to trust in God.

 

Psalms 56:3 "When i am afraid, I will trust you Lord"

 

You are being tested, remember we have to win their hearts. She is not going to give a little piece of the heart with out a fight. She is giving resistance to make sure she still has control where she is comfortable.

It is a huge move on her part and you need to see at as such.

 

Exactly..this is not my territory..this one is God's territory. It is not in my jurisdiction...it is in God's. Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference. The "old man" failed so often b/c i was trying to control issues that were never mine to under my control...they were there for me to trust God with...but in my arrogance and pride...i flailed about..i burned in...and burned out.

 

I love this.....-

This is God's work only he can change a heart.

 

 

oh...this is a favorite too...

"Cast your care upon Jesus for he cares for you..."
Yes He does; it is up to us to help eachother see into our blind spots. Places where were are not clear, or we have wrong filters, or we have bad thinking or incorrect ideologies. Thanks Michael...

 

I agree with you, God is on the move. He is moving and doing for our good; He has a plan that includes a hope and a future. We know his character and His Son, and are in a good place.

 

God is doing something good I can feel it.
..."I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about something and pray for it, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. This is true because if two ro three people come together in my name, i am there with them."

 

Father, in the name of Jesus, i agree with my brother Michael, that you are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Holy and Righteous one...you are worthy of all praise. Father today, i lift up to you my sweet bride, touch her heart Lord. Meet here where she is...Lord you know the details of every aspect of her life; Father i place her in your care and trust that your plan for her life is coming to pass. Father, as your son, i stand against the devil, and say Satan, you have no place here. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus...go away from my home and find other places. In the name of Jesus, Lord, place as wall of fire around my home and my children, place a hedge of thorns about Michaels family . Guard, protect, and direct them every step today. Father, i thank you for your plan and your love for us. Lord, please bring you will to fruition in our marriage, in our home, and in our life as you see fit. thank you Lord, in Jesus name we pray and agree. Amen, amen, amen.

 

God Bless you Michael...you really encouraged me!

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Michaeal,

 

Your user name...was that her real name??

 

Oh boy, I thought the names were fictitious and now that she mentioned it, either way she would have been upset. I

 

 

Now that she pointed it out I can see how it would upset her. On the one hand if this is her real name she would feel, "Who does he think he is?" Assuming my name belongs with his!!

 

And worse if it is a fictitious name she is thinking (especially with your past) who does he know who has this woman's name?

 

Live and learn.

 

I am surprised none of us picked up on this earlier. It just goes to show you how amazing she is t pick up the smallest thing in you. This is a wise woman.

 

You can tell her that for me!! Even he Helpers never saw it!!

 

Apologize Michael and tell her you why you chose the name and if it is because it was to identify yourself "with" her and you were are not "with her" in her heart.... that you assumed a whole lot and hurt her.

 

Kimberly

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Thank you Michael, indeed we are in agreement!

I get so weary sometimes because I have no one to talk to that has gone through or is going through this same journey. I thank God for this ministry and for every Godly person here.

It seems that I will have a mountain top high and forget I am still in a battle. I forget our enemy is vigilant (...like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour.) The next thing I know I am face down in the carpet seeking God's direction again.

Michael don't allow a finger hold, seek The face of Jesus for each and every move. Sometimes it is SO HARD to get up again this we must!

 

Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again...

Two key words, rightous (we are made righteous by the blood of Jesus Christ) rises (if we stay down we lose) We need to ALWAYS get up just one more time!

 

Yes, I am up early almost every morning and praying is the first thing I do. I need the Lord more than air.

 

I'm praying for you Brother

Michael

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Pure in Heart,

 

yes...everything about me is authentic...i am done w/ facades...

 

Lesson learned. She was very upset...a huge step backwards. She conveyed similar emotions;

1. i'm not entitled to use her name

2. we are not together...

3. she is divorcing me to get away from me...

4. she has filed to legally change her name...

5. she hates that she was ever associated with me...

6. the list goes on....

 

In truth, i was standing in faith that there would a restoration of Michael & wife...it doesn't matter....

 

Struggling to stand in faith...

 

I am surprised none of us picked up on this earlier. It just goes to show you how amazing she is t pick up the smallest thing in you. This is a wise woman. You can tell her that for me!! Even he Helpers never saw it!!
... i did; she enjoyed your compliment...

 

Apologize Michael and tell her you why you chose the name and if it is because it was to identify yourself "with" her and you were are not "with her" in her heart.... that you assumed a whole lot and hurt her.
Done already. Thanks for the reminder...

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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Thanks Looney,

 

i'm feeling it today...

 

i just deleted my whole post...too much whining. Besides, it was all a result of my doing...no need to be reminded...i dispise self-loathing as much as the next person.

 

Anyhow, i really appreciate you assistance with the name thing. thank you.

 

In Him,

 

Michael

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