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Thanks, girls. :)

 

I don't have those kind of days very often - so infrequently, actually, that when I do I sometimes feel like people in my world (well, except for Melissa - she knows me) don't really take it seriously. I have occasionally wondered if I ever did struggle with suicidal thoughts (not that I ever have) and couldn't get help for myself, if anyone would realize that I might not just get over it in a day or two. So I'm glad I have all of you - I do feel your love and your prayers, and they help. :D

 

Today I'm just hanging out and getting some best friend therapy - best thing for what ails me. Oh, and I lifted a full coffee pot with my right arm this morning, which is progress for my sore shoulder plus a good cup of coffee. What more could I want? :cool:

 

Well, OK, a new body, a paycheck, someone to hold me at night . . . but hey, one miracle at a time, right? :roll:

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Um my prayer wasn't suggesting you 'were' thinking wrongly at all Looney. That is a general prayer I pray often since reading 'Shattering Your Strongholds' by Liberty Savard. Liberty believes that God taught her different principles that the church has taught regarding the binding and loosing that Jesus told us to do. Bit like how God taught J and K that the principlles on marriage that the church was teaching were not correct. I find that praying to bind our wills and loosing anything not of God to be so powerful. Strongly recommend that book.....

So...a new, healthy body for the first miracle yeah. What a wonderful testimony to God's healing power .....

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Um my prayer wasn't suggesting you 'were' thinking wrongly at all Looney.

 

I didn't take it that way at all, preciousone! And thanks for popping in on my thread!

 

And yes, LRG, I know you would . . . help me and hog tie me LOL. :D

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Thanks! :D

 

And thanks for praying on the call tonight - I'm sure it helped Gene, and it dialed down my frustration level quite a bit. ;)

 

Melissa and I went to PT today and then out to lunch. We were laughing that we're now into old people's girl dates - instead of going clubbing, we go to physical therapy! We ate at one of our favorite places, and I got my favorite thing - a burger with grilled onions and bleu cheese. We decided it was appropriate - go to Pain and Torture and then have a Black 'n Bleu. :rotfl:

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So it was an . . . interesting . . . weekend. It started off with me ready to sell my 15 year old to the highest bidder, but it actually ended up pretty cool.

 

Friday, Jesse got into it with Melissa. Suffice to say that he was extremely rude, disrespectful, and hurtful. That pretty much never happens - I was like, who are you and what have you done with my son? He kept his attitude through Saturday. When I tried to talk to him, he cussed me out and called me a b#!*ch. :o He also accused me of "walking away, just like I did with my marriage" when I refused to stand there and let him talk to me like that.

 

Sunday he had calmed down enough to discuss the situation. We had a long talk about a lot of stuff. I don't think it had actually occured to him that I didn't want my marriage to end up like it did. All he saw was that his dad would have stayed, but I made him leave. Yeah, he would have stayed, but for all the wrong reasons. We talked about needing to control your behavior, and how it damages relationships if you choose not to. He got it and was repentant.

 

Here's the cool thing - he wanted to call Melissa and apologize. I told him I thought he needed to write an apology - he had really hurt her feelings and she deserved something in writing. He agreed and I left him to it, figuring I would read it and have him tweak it if necessary. Get this - he wrote a LOVER apology! :D I didn't have him change anything. It was really cute.

 

We ended up going out to dinner Sunday night - all of my kids, their boy/girlfriends, and a few other friends of theirs. It was fun - my kids are awesome, and they have some pretty cool friends. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Really discouraged tonight - the generator is not working. Based on Ashley's description of the problem, Steve thinks it's the regulator. A regulator costs $80. I do not have $80. I don't have 80 cents! Without the generator, we have no water, which means hauling water from the creek. We've had very little rain this summer, so the kids will have to hike back to where it's usually pretty deep because the spot right next to our property is down to a trickle.

 

Seriously, Lord, can we please catch a break? I don't want to do this anymore. :(

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Went to church tonight for the first time in weeks - I've either been dizzy or had no gas in the van when Wed. rolls around. It felt good to be there. Melissa and her son went with us, which made it even better. My pastor gave an awesome message that I'm going to link here as soon as it's up. I can think of at least 10 guys who need to listen to it.

 

My oldest daughter's boyfriend went up and got baptized in the Holy Spirit. :D

 

Afterwards one of my friends asked me how things were going and if we had enough to eat. I said we do, most days. The free dinner tonight was very much appreciated, though. I have a feeling some groceries might be coming our way. I really do have the best friends on the entire planet. :)

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I just LOVE every one of those good things that have happened -- and are probably still happening! In particular that your daughter's boyfriend got baptized in the Holy Spirit! Praise God!

 

:) :) :) :)

 

And now I have to go to bed.

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I am back to square one with my shoulder. Things were going pretty well in PT for a couple of weeks, and then one of the PTA's moved forward a little too fast. I'm not blaming him - you don't know what someone is gonna tolerate until you try it - but it didn't work well. Then another one of the PTA's missed the "gentle" in "massage," so after driving her thumbs into my bone last week it feels like it did when it first happened. I saw my head PT yesterday and we have a new plan, but I think it's going to take a bit to get back to where I was a couple of weeks ago.

 

Go to PT, she said. Do what they tell you, she said. Yeah. :unsure:

 

But . . . I am totally overwhelmed by the support I've received from this ministry! My paypal balance boggles my mind. THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed and/or given . . . that seems so inadequate. There must be some other words that can actually convey how blessed I feel, but if there are, I don't know them. God is taking care of us, and He is using all of you to do it, and my kids and I are grateful beyond words.

 

:wub: :wub: :wub:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Looney for the teaching, we all know my marriage didn't make it so I did not get to learn the next step after 'just do it.' I only learned what happens when someone refuses to do (not that I think HD was ever refusing, my ex did). I have always read HD and Eeyore's thread because my ex was so similar. I can totally see how, after so many years of just doing it and things aren't changing the introspection would be necessary.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You're welcome, Jaya. I have a pretty interesting perspective. As you know, my ex didn't do it. HD did, and because we're such good friends I get to see "doing it" up close and personal. I can see what not to do as well as what it looks like when a guy is grown up enough to be able to handle a little self analysis. It's really pretty cool.

 

So I haven't posted lately . . . a week or so after my last post, I was sitting on Melissa's couch, minding my own business, when her . . . umm, cute, yeah, that's the word I'm looking for :roll: . . . little dog decided to take a flying leap over the back of the couch. She landed like a 15 lb. rock on my bad shoulder. A couple of days later, it was still hurting pretty bad so I went to see my doc again. He figured she'd banged it up enough to ramp up the inflammation - made sense to me - and prescribed another round of prednisone. The plan was that if I couldn't get it back to where it was previously after I was done with the meds, we'd do an MRI.

 

He also suggested I might want to stay away from dogs for awhile. :unsure:

 

We did the MRI last Wednesday. The verdict . . . I have a non-displaced fracture of my . . . collarbone - I almost typed "clavicle" but then Melissa will yell at me for using medical-ese :huh: . . . and I tore the ligament inside the joint. I guess that explains why it's not getting better. I am fairly certain that I broke the bone when Oreo landed on it, because it was improving until that happened. I am actually relieved at the diagnosis, though, because this is something that can be fixed! I am so tired of having docs tell me that __ is wrong, and I'm just gonna have to learn to live with it . . .

 

I am going to see an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow. I'll keep y'all posted.

 

In other news, we have decided that with the money I have available it will be possible to install a solar system that will power the most important needs in the house without having to turn the electricity back on. I'm pretty excited, because it will take twice what I have just to get the power back on, and then if I can't pay the monthly bill I will be right back where I started. Once we get the system hooked up, that's it - no bills. We can always add to it later on if we want to power more things at one time, and we will still have the generator (which HD fixed) as a backup. HD is working on a design now, and he and the boys will put it together. I'm so blessed to have talented friends - I wouldn't even know where to start!

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He told me to do gentle exercise, just enough to maintain flexibility. He suggested I just do it at home and not go back to PT, because I have a limited number of visits per year and he may want me to do something more involved later on. No sling or anything, just don't do anything that causes pain - which is pretty much everything. :huh:

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Just wanted to let you know LT that you are in my thoughts and prayers. It can be so frustrating when we are in pain and just need some relief. I hope that you are feeling better. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help. You are so special to me and to this ministry. I miss you. Hope you are able to get the rest you need. I know God will take what the enemy might have intended for harm and use it for good!

 

:roll:

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I went on a . . . deep breath . . . date this afternoon. :o OK, take a breath, and don't get your hopes up. :rolleyes:

 

It's a guy I met online. We've been chatting a bit and decided to have coffee. We talked for about an hour and a half - he's nice, he held up his end of the conversation, and he opened my car door when I was leaving. :)

 

He also told me that his ex cheated on him, which means he has AD and mother-son issues up the whazoo. However, the likelihood of meeting someone my age who doesn't is pretty slim, so I will either have to deal with that or decide to be single for the rest of my life. I'm pretty sure I don't want to be single.

 

I think the best description of the afternoon is . . . neutral. He's a nice guy. He's pretty outgoing, and we didn't struggle to find things to talk about. He likes a lot of the same things I like. But there were no sparks, at least not on my part, and I don't think on his. He didn't say anything about wanting to get together again. If he asked me, I would probably go, but I won't be devastated if he doesn't ask.

 

It's all just kind of weird. :unsure:

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Woo-hoo!!! ;-) All I know is doesn't hurt to have a few practice runs getting ready to be with the right one! ;-) That's definitely been my prayer for you that God would move on your behalf and bring back to you full circle and move on your behalf that you would have that OHM miracle that you have helped so many others receive with whoever God knew was right for you. Just happy for you that you've got your foot out testing the water! :razz:

 

Hope you're feeling better.

 

Love & Hugs,

Randi

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