Starting Fresh

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

Flyboy,

 

Back in April, when I had that lunch with Damon when I was supposed to be staying away from him (we were legally divorced at that point), I told him that I had been waiting for him. We both cried in the parking lot...and he asked me what I needed him to do. I told him to call Joel.

 

When I told everyone in the ministry that I had INITIATED a lunch with him, there was a HUGE uproar. Everyone was very worried for me because they knew how much I had loved and yearned for Damon while we were apart, but he just refused to be a Godly man...and he refused to stop abusing me. They were worried I would accept him back because any guy can be "nice" and "humble" for a moment...especially when he wants something so much. But, when the living together starts back up, and the struggles of daily life begin to take their toll on both of you, then the old habits and behaviors come back around.

 

Everyone is concerned for Pink for the same reasons. They were worried that Damon hadn't had a change of heart that had gone more than skin deep...and we are worried about the same thing with you two. Please, prove us wrong and you will make us ALL nothing but a bunch of happy helpers here.

 

The things that Damon did to prove everyone wrong was that he had ACTIONS to back up all of his words. His promises NEVER went unfulfilled...and while he was NEVER perfect, he never wavered in his committment to me, our marriage and this ministry. He was on the forum, he was on the calls and he was THERE FOR ME every single day, doing whatever I needed.

 

He also put his money where his mouth was. He sold his things and gave me his money. He got a job and gave me every single one of his paychecks. He went to a crown financial counselor with me. He closed his bank account and puts his money in mine. He doesn't have an e mail account, he doesn't have or use a computer...his whole entire life is invested in ME.

 

This is a guy who wrote my parents a 20,000 dollar check to pay them back for taking care of me, paying my lawyer bills, etc...Now, we understand you may not have 20 grand in your pocket to do that kind of stuff, but you have the definite ability to rid your life of MANY things that cause Pink a great deal of stress and heartache.

 

I would also suggest that you two work out a SCHEDULE as to when you are going to be on the calls. Especially with you dropping out of school, you should have plenty of time to do that now. And stick to it. Those calls are SO important. Damon and I had to get on a call as soon as he got home last night and ended up not eating dinner till 10 because we were on the call. But, you have to make your marriage the number one priority in your lives for at least three years. Period. Anything less is just asking for a repeat of your previous history.

 

Also, I am very concerned that you wooed Pink back to you somehow because now you are on Christmas break and it is convenient. I'm reallly worried that when time to go to school comes back around, you think you will have her comfortable enough within the marriage that she'll allow you to NOT drop out of school. I don't know how to address that, and I'm pretty sure at this stage, Pink will say she's NOT worried about that in order to make YOU feel better...but I'm sure it's sitting there in the back of her mind along with all of the other questions she's had since you've been gone.

 

I also worry that you say you are comitted to staying plugged back into the ministry...yet you and Pink both have been really absent as far as discussing what's really going on with you two right now. Is the lie detector test scheduled? Did you withdraw from school? I'm just really concerned, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

I am hoping for the best...and I hope that you are able to prove everyone wrong, just like Damon did. Nothing would make me happier! You have the ability to do it, you just HAVE TO put your actions above all else. Stop talking and start doing.

 

Take Care,

Julie

[flyboy]

Not really sure where to start at so if I miss something let me know.

 

The school thing I have completely given up. I told Pink that I would give that up for her no matter what I thought and I am sticking to it. What ever happens with that from now on will be what Pink needs. We have discussed several options and have both agreed that it is something that we are going to do together.

 

There isn't anything that I won't do for Pink and it is now up to me to show her by my actions. So I have given up everything and am working on meeting the list of her needs. She agreed to help remind me when I forget because the list is pretty long right now but I will keep working on it and I will meet her needs.

 

The actions rather than just words I whole heartedly understand and am more than willing to follow through with. I have come to the conclusion that I need to love my wife no matter what and fully trust that God will work everything out like they need to be. I hope that doesn't come across wrong, I was trying to say that if I put my faith in God then my needs will be taken care of.

 

We haven't been very forthcoming in what exactly we are doing because we are still trying to work it all out. There is a ton that we are going through and working on. We spent an hour or so together in the bible which was the first time time we had ever done that. We have been praying for restoration and healing in our marriage which seems to be happening. We are also going to watch part of the video this evening and hopefully can get on the call for a while to just listen. We are trying to figure out who we want to form a relationship with and set our schedule to be able to talk with that couple every week. Obviously we are active on the forums but I am trying to refocus in how I interact on here.

 

I haven't addressed anything specific because I don't want to sound defensive or attacking. I am trying really hard to change my inner being and take 1 Cor 13 deep into my heart. Like my friend explained to me, my body is a container that only holds so much and if I fill it with evil then that is what I will become. If I pull in to God by prayer and reading his word then I will begin to replace that evil with God. More God in means the evil will have no place to stay and eventually I will begin pouring the Love of God out of me.

 

This is something that I have yearned for but have allowed my flesh and my past to get in the way. I have made the promise to Pink that I will focus on her with my heart and soul while we work through this. My focus will be on changing myself and I will not worry about her part. It was a huge leap of faith for the both of us to trust each other again but with God anything is possible.

 

I hope that I am not coming across on here negatively but understand because of my past actions it very may well be taken that way. If there is something that somebody wants to know please just ask, other wise I am going to be trying to learn my wife and what she needs. Anyways, thanks again.

[dory]

I really do hope it works out for you both.

 

Wanted to offer an analogy for your thoughts.... If you took a car out on lease for 3 months but never drove it, are you still on the hook for the three months?

 

If you signed up for a cell phone for three months but never dialed out, are you still obligated to pay?

 

If you bought health insurance for 3 months but never got sick, do you still pay?

 

Not only that, but any money invested into this ministry is money well spent, no matter how exactly it is that you agree to "spend it".

 

The volunteers have loved both of you through alot of stuff and invested much time. If Joel and Kathy aren't solvent financially, then NONE of this help is available to you, through the phone calls nor the forum. They don't exactly live high on the hog either and they often donate out of their own pockets to assist hurting wives and children (widows and orphans). I.E> shoulder the burdens of other christian brothers and sisters.

 

As Christians, the least we can do is keep our commitments for services we do buy.

[Kay]

Hey Flyboy,

 

Well, it seems that you and my husband have something in common.... It took both of you a few days after getting divorce papers in your hand, to realize that you NEED to start listening to the needs of your wife, or you will be losing a lot of money, not to mention, your wife. Maybe, that sounds harsh to your ears, but I know all about how attorney's rip you off, and divorce will suck you drive, and blah blah blah. You don't have to say it on here, but don't kid yourself, I can read all of that inside your mind. And, the sad thing is that, you are right. Money isn't mentioned so many times in the bible by chance. The world revolves around money. Sad but true. I know that your wife is important too, but is she FIRST on your list of priorities? Only time will tell.

 

Yes, I DO see a difference in your post, this time, but I also know that this new journey, is NOT going to be easy for you. Right now, you are determined to make your Marriage work. I know that you WANT to make this work out, and we are all happy about that. But, like everyone is saying to you, your actions will speak louder than words.

 

My guess is that you and Pink had sex.. And, that, alone, will bring your wife to a place where she wants to believe you... and, hey, if it all works out, then good for you, both! I'm not here to judge, but only to tell you that my husband and I have walked down this path, and I understand where you are at. You WANT your Marriage, but are you willing to do what it takes? That is the question of the day.

 

I do want to address your question to Joel... asking him to "not humiliate you" on the public forum." First things, first, FB - God will honor humility. What is there to discuss with Joel that can't be talked about on here? You simply say, "Joel, you are right.. we owe you money. I am so sorry, and we promise to get that to you as soon as possible" I mean seriously, FB, who CARES about the facts?? I think that is where you struggle the most. It is so important for you to be heard and understood. A humble man doesn't care about being right or wrong, as long as his wife is happy. My husband had to ask himself the same question over and over again, when we would hit those bumps.. What is more important?? Being Right, or my wife's feelings??

 

Right now, the only thing that you should concern yourself with is How does Pink feel about the money situation?? What does Pink want me to do? And, if for some reason, Pink is in agreement with you, that you don't owe the Ministry money, then let her be the one to come on here and say so.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I asked you a question..... "Are you willing to put your feelings on the back burner for a season, so your wife can get some much needed healing"? Your answer to me was, "How long is that season"? I'd like to ask you again, "Are you willing to put ALL your feelings on the back burner for a season (with no guarantee of how long that will be) in order to heal your wife?? IF your answer is YES, then, starting today, you will completely Forget all about your feelings, or being right, or being wrong, or feeling humiliated, or being bullied, etc...... It will be all about what Pink wants or needs from you. It will be all about HER heart.

 

 

We are trying to figure out who we want to form a relationship with and set our schedule to be able to talk with that couple every week.

This part of your humble post raised some red flags with me, because 1. Pink has been so gracious for ALL help given by everyone, and here you are saying that "WE" want to pick and choose who we want. Again, I say to you, a humble man will get help from everyone in this Ministry, and recognize that we are ALL here to help your Marriage succeed.

 

The Conference Calls are there to help you WHEN you hit a bump.... so, if you run into trouble, are you saying that you will have to wait until your "specific person" that you both agree on is running the call to ask for help? We run them 6 days a week, for this reason.. So many men say to their wife, "I don't like so and so, but I do like so and so, and this person doesn't help me, because..... (mine did this too, and it drove me crazy) This attitude shows arrogance and pride... Period.

 

So, I guess I'm trying to tell you that unless your WIFE doesn't feel comfortable with a certain couple who is running the call, then you need to just quit that thought, once and for all.

 

Anyway, continuing to pray for both of you! Welcome to the GSMM Ministry - sounds like you are starting over. Glad to have you on board!

 

Kay

Edited December 22, 2010 by Kay

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

Just to clarify something that Kay said, because it is in Flyboy's nature to say, "Julie gave me this advice and then Kay gave me different advice..."

 

Definitely pick two or more night per week that are STANDING dates to get on calls and talk and listen. Your decision can be based on WHO you like, or calls that you like (I personally do not like the passive man call becasue it just aggrivates me to hear the passive men, but that's just me)...but realize that once you make the commitment, you stick to it...whether the particular moderator you normally like is on that night or not (we often switch things up because life gets in the way).

 

Then, to ADD to that routine, you ALWAYS get on a call if you are having a problem. Even if you solve the problem BEFORE you get on the call (which is what usually happens to us), you get on the call and say, "we had THIS particular problem, and we've figured it out now, and this is what we did." Then the moderator can share any particular insights that they have with you. It's also helpful for OTHERS to hear what you did...we are all about YOU growing and also in the process of YOU growing, your example helps OTHER people grow...cool, huh?

 

So...Kay and my advice isn't different (the old Flyboy) would have picked that apart. She's not saying not to Pick a few days a week and commit to it, she's saying in addition to those days (that committment) you also need to ALWAYS call in when you have a problem. And ALWAYS post. Committ to yourself to post ONE TIME per day, minimum. Both of you. For now. When you get a job, etc...that can change.

 

I am praying for God to bless you in that area. It was amazing to me how quickly God blessed Damon in the employment area when he began living in an understanding way with me. Seriously, we have wanted for nothing since that day. And his bosses are really good bosses, and we feel so very, very blessed by God...and we just want to give right back to God's kingdom because of the blessings He's just poured out on us.

 

I would also encourage if you two would like to ADD TO your experience with this ministry by doing private counseling, that is always a great idea, and I did speak to Lisa Winchell, and she did say she'd be happy to hear from you. Lisa is wonderful in that her advice would be in line with this ministry AND she is so very good at helping NEW Christians really figure out WHO they are in Christ. She has helped me grow in my understanding of my relationship with God. Questions like HOW DO YOU HEAR FROM GOD, and WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO PRAY and have QUIET TIME WITH GOD were answered for me by her. Since you two are really just starting out in your relationship with God, both personally and together, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have that guidance. But, I know that you are taking a big step financially, so maybe that counseling is not something you can afford. I don't know.

 

It might be time to also consult a person involved with Crown financial ministries. Their services are FREE. They have been INVALUABLE at helping Damon and I understand how to budget, how to tithe (and why) and how to really be stewards of the financial blessings that God sees fit to give us. They can help you set up a budget...a REAL budget and give you valuable lessons on how to actually live on it. That was a big thing for me. It was one thing to actually set up a budget, but it was impossible for me to remember how much money I had left to spend from one day to the next. They helped me with that.

 

It is hard, and I have a LONG way to go...Damon is actually better at it than me, but at least now it has opened a dialogue between Damon and I about money in which we can be accountable to each other WITHOUT BLAME so that we both can grow and mature in this way. It has been addressed between the helpers that this dropping of the nursing program may be a financial challenge for you two, but we all believe that God will provide, and He will also give you BOTH the strength and wisdom to navigate through these new territories together.

 

I'm excited for you both, and hope you both have a wonderful holiday. Flyboy, it might be a good idea to just go buy a package of cupcakes and candles and stage a little 'redo' of Sarah's birthday for you and Pink and the girls. Check with Pink first...not sure if you guys hooked back up that weekend or not...but if it was totally missed, it might be nice to just recognize that day with something simple, you know?

 

Take Care,

Julie

[C2]

Flyboy:

 

Just thought you might be interested in reading what Blessing Her wrote yesterday:

 

I thought this process would be easy because in my mind I was a good guy with just a few little problems to iron out. I was wrong about everything. This is not easy and it requires hard, dedicated work and a positive attitude. I can't do this without you and all the great helpers keeping me on the right path when I stray a little or in some cases a lot!

Timothy Paul has the same spirit of appreciation even early in the process where Julie used to correct him A LOT!!!

 

The very helpers that nail you the hardest are probably the ones you need to hear from the most. The ones that you don’t like.

 

One thing you wrote that I really like and will be holding you to is:

My focus will be on changing myself and I will not worry about her part.

Do this and everything else will begin falling into place. This is where DW had to start before he could figure out how to become a good husband.

 

Praying for you and Pink.

 

C2

[flyboy]

Pink and I are still working towards getting a game plan in place, the challenge right now is the post fight-post honeymoon energy crash where we just don't have the energy to do everything that we want to do.

 

I am frustrated with myself today because I didn't get as much done on my "action" list that I wanted. Pink is understanding because I addressed it with her but I want so badly to show her that I am very serious about winning her heart back.

 

Yes we have been intimate but I had laid everything down for her before we did. It wasn't something that she gave me something then I gave her something. Not trying to sound defensive, just trying to relieve your fears over Pink getting taken advantage of.

 

What ever Pink decides for how ever long it takes is the decision I made. All things are possible through God and I have faith that with his help I will be the man that my wife needs.

 

I haven't been perfect but Pink has been great in pointing my failures out and giving me the chance to fix them.

[dory]

What ever Pink decides for how ever long it takes is the decision I made. All things are possible through God and I have faith that with his help I will be the man that my wife needs.

 

YOu might as well get a tatoo of this one on your forearm. You'll need it.

[flyboy]

Actually I was thinking of putting it on the slcera of my eyes so that every time I opened them I would see the reminder....

[flyboy]

Hey all just wanted to let you know that things are going well, still focusing on learning how to love Pink how she needs. I've had my moments of less than greatness so to speak but Pink has been quick to point out that I could have done something better. I have been really trying to study her and re-learn everything about her and to keep showing her she truly is my heart. The last few weeks has been amazing with how well we have been communicating and working together.

 

Anyways just wanted to give you guys an update.

[flyboy]

Hey all another great day with Pink. Nothing really big to talk about right now. The girls just got back from there dad's house so we are going to be doing our Christmas this evening. Once we are done we are going to try to get on the phone call but if it is too late we will be watching the dvd this evening and praying together.

 

Going to tattle on myself but I didn't do anything today towards the polygraph. I had every intention when I got up this morning but just got to busy so I will make the calls tomorrow. I did look for more information on line but am at the point now that I need to make phone calls and actually set something up.

 

Pink has the computers but I have access to them. I only get on when she is here with me so that she can see what I am looking at.

 

Early next month I plan on ordering J&K's updated book 2 and re-reading that as well.

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

Flyboy,

 

Good job.

 

Keep coming on here daily and just post and keep us updated as to what is going on in your life. It does a lot to help us, and it helps you to not get too far away from that place of "I need help being a better husband." I think when we stop making frequent contact with this ministry, the books, the dvd's etc, we begin to think, "hey, I've got this covered on my own!" (both men and women) and then in a few weeks time, we royally screw up our marriages. The more you stay plugged in, the less dramatic your screw ups are going to be.

 

I will encourage you to get your lie detector test DONE. Pink is going to be very gracious and accepting for a while...but she's not going to slowly get annoyed by your lack of doing something...it will happen like a big explosion (to you) out of nowhwere. You will most likely NOT see it coming. This is just the way we arrested women work, and the way you arrested men 'read' us, because you can't really see things "coming" before they hit.

 

So....my point is, get that lie detector test scheduled, and you won't have to worry about a blowup about you not getting that done. I know it's a drag, and you really don't want to do it...but, it's all about getting it all out there, and showing her there is nothing else to hide and moving forward with a clean slate. There's nothing like a clean slate, right?

 

Merry Christmas to you both!

 

Take Care,

Julie

[flyboy]

Yah totally understand, and that's why I tattled on myself so to speak. I just want to make sure I am doing the right things for Pink and that is one of them. So like I said am going to tackle it in the morning. Thanks again!

[PlansForHope]

Flyboy;

Noticed its been a week since you posted a tiny update; what happened to really getting involved 100% in all the help this ministry offers; to keep you moving along in learning how to FINALLY start becoming an adult, Christlike man here; one who can totally focus on loving and blessing your wife and children 24/7; 365 days a year? You guys have this habit of getting into these cycles often; there's a period where you're fighting, arguing, things aren't going well when you stop loving and blessing your wife; then you separate for a time; then there's the honeymoon period where things seem to be going well on the surface; but you really don't deal with the underlying issues that you have in your life that cause most of the problems; when you don't stay plugged in here DAILY; don't listen in to the calls; it isn't long before you're back into that same old stressful cycle again. Everyone here realizes that but YOU; that's why we encouraged both of you to stay fully, 100% plugged into all the help that's available here for you; you both made the choice to go to an Intensive for help with your marriage; why do you keep choosing to stop following through with the advice given you? I can't really believe that you're happy with these cycles (except for the times when you're getting your needs met; and don't have much responsibility or accountability set up); that's NOT really a marriage!

So please take time to come back with an update that really, honestly says how things are going for you guys; learn how to be a Christlike husband to your wife; humbly accept the advice and suggestions that's been given to you to help you move forward instead of cycling back and forth, staying kinda stuck in the same old patterns & ruts that have caused such pain and wounding to your wife and children!

[flyboy]

That's cool, I have earned that I guess. Not really sure what to tell you besides that things are going really well. We were sick for a few days which kind of threw us out of our routine but we were actually talking about it today that we needed to get back in to it. Thank you for the reminder.

 

Last week we watched our hour on the dvd, I have been reading in the bible but we missed a few days of prayer together. We have had a few little road bumps but have been able to work through them together. I just got done reading in book two of J & K, I started that before I got on here btw.

 

I was on the phone call a couple of times last week but didn't say anything because I was only on for about an hour each time and didn't want to interrupt. It just seems kind of self focused to interrupt just to let every one know that I am there.

 

We had a great weekend together as a family which also included my Dad. Pink was a little reluctant to include him but gave it a shot and I think she had a little bit of healing from when my dad was harsh towards her. We had invited a bunch of people to do a New Years day thing together and he was the only one who was able to make it.

 

Other than that things are going well. Had a difficult start to the day with everything but I apologized to Pink for not handling it correctly. Don't really know what to say without getting back in to my old habits of too many details so I'll leave it up to Pink to explain if she feels inclined. Suffice it to say that I was overwhelmed with everything and was snappy with her and the girls. I knew it when I did it, and apologized before Pink said anything to me over it.

 

Anyways thanks again.

[PlansForHope]

Flyboy;

Thanks for that update! This is what both of you really need to do DAILY; post honest, accurate accounts of what's happening in your marriage; what you've been reading; how you are working through these issues that come up! This isn't for our benefit only, it's to help both you and Pink keep learning how to work together here; help you keep learning how to grow and move forward in becoming a Christlike man; as well as help Pink learn how to grow out of her arrested developement; and keep being the godly helpmeet that you need!

That's good that you're able to recognize when you're reacting in un-Christlike ways toward your wife and children; and apologize! Great job at blessing her!

I'm sure that you can already see the positive benefits rippling down to your children from your efforts at really, sincerely loving your wife in the ways SHE needs to be loved; keep on doing that!

And it does help everyone if you do speak up on the calls; and let us know if you're listening in; or need help, or want to give a praise report. That lets us know that you both are still working together on reaching your goal of an OHM; plus it blesses your wife to know that she's important enough to you for you to participate more fully in this program!

God bless you both for continuing to work together in this new journey you're on here!

Hope this New Year is the best, most blessed one ever for you and your family!

[flyboy]

Yah if there is a break in the conversation or when you are asking for other people I'll say something, it's just when you guys are flowing and there really isn't that "good" spot to break in that I keep quiet. I know it's hard to believe that I can be quiet but I promise it is true.

 

Anyways, ya we agree that we need to be more active and it is something that we are focusing on. Trying to get in to a positive routine and not forget about the girls has been a challenge I guess but we are moving in the right direction. Thanks again and God Bless.

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

What about the lie detector test?

 

I asked Pink on her thread about it, but true to form...both of you are kind of skirting the issue. This was very important to her before you came back, and I'm thinking now that you have come back and "loved her up," you have made it seem not so important to her any longer.

 

But, Flyboy, it IS important. You said you would do it, and you need to be a MAN OF YOUR WORD and do what you say you are going to do.

 

Take Care,

Julie

[flyboy]

Nope I completely dropped the ball on the LDT but it hasn't been forgotten. Still working on everything on the list and I will get it done today. Yes I have been "loving her up" but for no other reason than that she deserves it. I am completely on board with anything that she needs, but that part hasn't been the priority which I will correct. Thanks again.

[flyboy]

Hey all I have been dropping the ball lately on posting daily. Sometimes it seems like there is nothing really new to post so no reason to post I guess. Either way I'll get back into the habit of stopping in and saying hi at least.

 

Last week we got on the phone call I think twice. I know Pink and I got on once together and I tried to speak up but couldn't talk over Joel so I gave up. They were talking about a card Kathy got and there was a momentary break while she went to get it. I unmuted and tried to talk but I guess the only thing you guys could hear was the back ground noise because a few comments were made about how it had gotten noisy all of a sudden. Either way just wanted to point out that we were on and that we tried to speak up.

 

Things have been going well, we have been able to handle things as they have come up which has been nice. Just got home from another great weekend so getting settled in for the night.

[PlansForHope]

Flyboy;

 

Glad to see your update; was wondering how things were really going for you guys! Also want to strongly encourage you to get on the calls consistently here; and do whatever you can to let the moderators know you are listening in; (even if there is some background noise). This not only helps us see some consistent effort here in following through with what you said you'd do when you moved back in; but helps you grow into this new, Christlike husband that Pink really needs!

 

Also have been wondering how you're progressing in following through with the other things you'd promised Pink you'd do before she let you move back in? If I recall correctly, those things were to take the lie detector test; stop the nursing classes; and find work in another field besides nursing?

Haven't seen any positive updates about that; I'm really hoping that you haven't completely pushed these things aside; now that you are back in the home; they are still things that Pink has asked you to do to keep showing that you are sincerely willing to do whatever it takes to heal her heart; and become a Christlike husband.

 

Again, this is great that things are going well; it's always nice to see couples give praise reports! When you do call in; let the moderators know you have a praise report; we love praise reports on the calls; it encourages everyone to keep working together on their own journeys to an OHM!

 

God bless you both as you keep walking this out; day by day; together as a godly couple should be doing!

[flyboy]

Hey thanks, yeah I had tried to speak up but I guess all that came across was the back ground noise but oh well. Anyways so far so good today, I love loving my beautiful wife!

 

I am waiting for a call back from the Polygraph guy. I have called the only one in our area that does fidelity issue and am waiting for the return call.

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

If he doesn't call back, try, and try again. Your wife needs healing in this area. I know it is a "drag" for you...but it is still important to her.

 

Take care,

Julie

[flyboy]

Has anyone ever seen that cartoon where Goofy is trying to plug the leaks in the dam by using his fingers. As he plugs one hole another pops open until he runs out of appendages? It's pretty funny to watch but I feel like Goofy right now and it's not very funny.

 

Pink deserves the absolute best in life and I am trying so hard to give it to her. I won't tell you the things I'm doing because that doesn't really matter but I keep forgetting little things that are adding up into big things. It's not from not caring or not thinking about her. I think it's mostly just trying to get used to everything that she needs and making it a part of my being.

 

So as you can guess Pink has been telling me that I haven't been hitting all of the marks. She has done a great job of pointing that out in a gentle manner which gives me a chance to address it with her and do the LOVER. She has also been telling me things that I have been doing well which is a big change so I have absolutely no complaints.

 

I really am trying and overall I am very encouraged about our progress. I am frustrated with myself because with every fiber of my being I want her to be happy but I know that there is still a long way to go before we can get to that OHM that we both dream about.

 

Oh and I got a hold of the only polygraph guy that does fidelity issues and he said that he wanted to talk to Pink about what she was expecting out of the test. So the next step is to get on the phone with Pink and him. The cost is 400 which with everything else going on right now is hard to come up with but hopefully by the end of the week we will have it and can make an appointment so that Pink can finally rest around all of that.

 

Anyways just wanted to post an update for you all.

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

Flyboy...

Where are you falling short and why?

 

We need details so that we can help you be accountable. When we know WHERE you are falling short, we can help address the root cause of it so that you will not end up doing it again.

 

Pink will get tired of pointing things out over and over again, so we need you to be specific about issues so we can find a way to ensure they don't happen again.

 

Remind Pink gently to call the lie detector guy, and figure out how to make the money part work. This is a HAVE TO thing.

 

Take Care,

Julie