Less Chris, More Christ...

[Choosing Life]

David,

 

while I understand and agree with your thinking, I truly believe it would be much more detrimental to the relationship with J to compromise this promise. In a way, J is going to end up paying (again) for Chris's lack of planning or preparation. and J is going to be the one getting the short end of the stick. This has been happening to him for the last 12 years.

 

At a point where J's heart is BARELY open to Chris at all, I don't think this is the time to put him aside for the sake of building a castle for the 4 yr old, who will not be with Chris again until at least Friday. Monday is the only day that Chris really makes efforts to be with J at all- so I don't feel it should be skipped over.

 

But, this is all Chris's decision to make, not mine.

 

Also, I was not aware that any 'promise' had been made about the castle. Again, David, I understand, but I believe that each circumstance needs to be considered on its own, and discernment about the importance and the RELATIONSHIP that it will affect.

 

 

Thank you for your continued attention and work in this situation.

Edited November 16, 2010 by dory

[J_W]

Is there some way that J could come over to help with the castle AND work on the car?

 

 

just wondering

[For Him For Her]

Thank you Lorna. I will relay these thoughts and point them out to Chris. This was his original plan and I appologize for steering him in a different direction. This one was on me.

 

God Bless

David

[Enjoying the sunshine]

Thanks David. Again, I completely understand where you are coming from- but this situation just wasn't that black and white. Know what I mean?

 

Thank you for being there for Jacob tonight. I am sure he appreciated that greatly. He looked very happy coming in all greasy from working on the truck.

 

I am sorry Paul was not completely ready when you were. He was dragging a little in doing the dishes. But he got done, and was quite happy to be able to go with you so that he can work with at the Food Bank tomorrow.

 

Thank you for respecting the boundaries tonight, and NOT coming in the house. That put me a little more at ease than usual.

 

Just so that you are aware, the younger children will be at the Gray family's house tomorrow, so that they are not here in the mix of workers without me here. J will be staying home so that they are safe with the dog.

[In His Steps]

Read yesterday in the Bible, psalms 146. Also talked to David about holding to my commitments. Talked to Tim about getting finances in order, particularly cutting back on bills.

 

Worked on the castle after we got to the house last night, after P. got to bed. Set it up and started the transformation from box to castle. Took some time to relax with the guitar for a few minutes last night, singing a few praise songs. Just needed a little down time. Today, back to the books.

 

Yesterday I misspoke, I said I will be bringing P. back homw at 8:00, I can still do that, but he would be with me at the job interview which the manager is o.k. with ( preapproved, thinking I might have had to take N. with me on Wed. instead ). Before I had said I would bring him home at 5:00. I would rather bring him home later, feed him some dinner and take some time with him after the job interview.

 

I will be on the forum tonight after all settles, updating what's going on today.

 

Hope all is going well with the repairs.

 

Have a great day and God Bless,

 

Chris

[In His Steps]

I got a call today from the dentists for the children. They have appointments tomorrow morning starting at 9:30. I can take them and use some of my time to get them there if you're working and that would be o.k.

 

Also, need to know if you'd like me to drop off P. on the way to my interview, or if I should keep him until 8:00 as discussed yesterday.

 

Please let me know.

 

Hope you're having a good day,

 

God Bless

 

Chris

[dory]

Lorna's response regarding Paul...

 

Thank you for keeping him with you if that will not cause you a problem- I will be going to get the others from the Gray's house after the workers leave.

[Enjoying the sunshine]

thanks for the offer to take the kids to the dentist, but I was planning to cancel those appt's and make them new ones with a REAL dentist. will take care of it.

 

So, I will have N ready to go by 8PM tonight.

[In His Steps]

I've been told not to bring the children in any more. Nobody has a real issue with them being here, accept that if " we let you do that, then we have to let everyone do that, and pretty soon we're running a daycare. "

 

I would still love to be able to see N. tonight for a little while, and maybe pick her up from ballet tomorrow. I will be making P. dinner tonight before I bring him home, and would love to be able to do the same for N. tomorrow night.

 

I'm sorry about the bad news. It really stinks.

 

Anyway, hope your day is going well, and safe travels tonight to the Gray's.

 

Chris

[dory]

I've been told not to bring the children in any more. Nobody has a real issue with them being here, accept that if " we let you do that, then we have to let everyone do that, and pretty soon we're running a daycare. "

 

That's pretty universal policy actually. Rare is the employer that offers to allow children on a regular basis - probably mostly those businesses where all the employees are related - like Chinese restaurants! (No offense to Chinese restaurants - I LOVE 'em!)

 

I am certain the kids appreciated your efforts. I know mine would.

[Enjoying the sunshine]

I am sorry to hear about the situation at work. It seems they have many kids there volunteering. I wonder what happened.

 

As for spending time with N tonight, that is not really going to work, since you will not be here til just before her bedtime.

 

K was crying, missing you tonight. Maybe you could pick up N & K tomorrow at just before ballet (like 5:15)? and spend some time with them afterward til 7:30pm.

 

I really need to keep bedtimes as consistent as possible, with all this transition still going on.

[In His Steps]

I will be there to pick them up. Thank you. I'm sorry that she's crying tonight. That must be heartbreaking to deal with, for the both of you.

 

Yes, I will be there to pick them up at 5:15. I'll also drop them back off at 7:30. Thank you.

 

I'm not sure what happened with having the children at work. I made sure to confirm with everyone that it was o.k., and now it's not. And at that, they were never a nuisance. They have been very well behaved and helpful. Today, P. was a " bit " of a strain on Lynn, but not a problem at ALL, as she even put it. Just needed to learn how the pantry line works, and not be EATING all day ( as he is apt to, we well know )

 

Today was the job interview, P. went along and was EXTREMELY well behaved! I'm very proud of him. He has come a long way in being able to sit still and behave. He did a good job on his math and copy work and report today. Had to keep him on track a little, but all in all, he did VERY well.

 

After, we went to the house, I checked over the rest of the math he did for the day, only missed one problem out of thirty nine. Awesome! Then we went outside and worked on the castle, which is looking really cool at this point.

 

We read in the book of Isaiah today at lunch. Tonight I was listening to book 2, and will be reading from " Making Children Mind ... " and our old string. I'll be packing some tonight, trying to get ready for the transition. I'll also be listening in on the couple's calls and the Positive Thinking calls.

 

Talked to David today, and will be talking to Tim in a little while.

 

I asked Lynn about getting on her computer at the food pantry today, she said she didn't feel comfortable with that. Also, asked the trucking dispatcher if I could use her computer, she was o.k. with it for today, but not too often. Tim and I are talking about getting a phone that I can use the internet with and connect it with the computer to usee the internet that way. I found out that there's a prepaid phone you can buy that for $45/ mo. you get unlimited phone, text and mobile internet. Sounds awesome, if it all works for what I need. Best price I've seen yet.

 

Not quite sure how the job interview went. She seemed o.k., but not overly ecstatic. I'm hopeful. God has good plans.

 

I hope your day has been good. Hope everything in the house has settled and all feelings are a little better, if not a lot. Sorry about the awkwardness about the letter to N.

 

I'll call the children in the morning. Have a good night,

 

God Bless,

 

Chris

[In His Steps]

Today I was blessed in being able to work some much needed overtime. Tomorrow will be the same, and maybe Friday also. Don't know yet. I finally found out today that I had my vacation time approved for this week, and it would make more sense to take the overtime.

 

I called and talked to Tim at lunch for a few minutes about financial struggles.

 

Also called Jerry Hobart this evening ( the furnace guy ) to discuss getting the furnace repair payment squared away.

 

I listened to disc 4 (J&K book 2) and finished it. Will start disc three on the way home

 

I read last night on our old string for about 30-45 minutes. I called in and talked to Kathy's mother in law for a few minutes. I listened in on the Cali. calls for a little while, I did not get to reading " Making Children Mind..." or packing. Or post about time with the children.

 

I did not post to you last night about time with the children this weekend. It would not be fair for me to ask about having them Friday night, but I would still love to be able to have them and free up your Friday night work schedule. Could I have them at least on Saturday, and take them to church Sunday? There are a lot of children at the church I will be going to, unless they would rather go to Bruns. Vineyard.

 

And I heard from J. that M. said everything we pulled from the truck needed to be put back on for the winter. Not sure why, but I will make every precaution to make sure that nothing bad would happen to his engine. There are ways to cover up and plug what we have taken apart so no damage could come to what we're doing. Having said that, I'll be in touch with J. about working on his truck again Monday night. And confirm that with you and him.

 

Hope you're having a good day today.

 

God bless,

 

Chris

[In His Steps]

Also, read in the Bible, psalm 50, psalm 146 again. Also read in exodus for a few minutes.

 

I talked to David after dropping off the girls tonight. Speaking of the girls, N. seemed really on edge tonight, we talked for a few, and she was really stressed out about the day today.

 

She is so beautiful. Watching her in her ballet class is absolutely wonderful.

 

I'll call and talk to the children in the morning.

 

Good night, and God Bless,

 

Chris

[Enjoying the sunshine]

thank you for bringing the girls home a few minutes early tonight. and thank you for not being here long enough for B to notice you again.

 

that was much appreciated.

[In His Steps]

Lorna, thank you for allowing me to honor you on your Birthday. What time would be best to bring dinner by, and is there anything special you would like to have done to the truck?

Edited November 18, 2010 by homeschoolinhogans

[In His Steps]

Happy birthday Lorna. Blessings and good thoughts your way today.

 

Chris

[dory]

Today I was blessed in being able to work some much needed overtime. Tomorrow will be the same, and maybe Friday also. Don't know yet. I finally found out today that I had my vacation time approved for this week, and it would make more sense to take the overtime....

 

I did not post to you last night about time with the children this weekend. It would not be fair for me to ask about having them Friday night, but I would still love to be able to have them and free up your Friday night work schedule.

 

This information is very confusing Chris.

 

What it tells me (and I am not Lorna) is this:

 

You are not sure if you are taking vacation or working overtime. (As a result it would be hard for any working wife to make plans based on this fog of information.)

 

Then there are some moans of regret of not asking after them soon enough even though you KNOW that would bless her for Friday.

 

It sounds as if you'd rather work the OVERTIME, but you can't do it and look good without at least moaning a little about the error of not giving her three days notice. I am picking this out not because Lorna said anything about it, but rather because this is something Nemo would do that I would have to call him OUT on. YOu need to be honest with yourself BEFORE you can be honest with Lorna. Be honest, be loving, be concerned, FOR others. It sounds like you are trying to talk your way into sounding like some "good guy".

 

My opinion: If you wanted vacation you should be pursuing an answer from your boss indicating that you need some advance notice on his approval or not (healthy boundaries, common courtesy - even with bosses). Then you should be working the overtime on Thursday and making time to bless Lorna with some breathing room free from the youngest kids on Friday and giving her the 3 day advance notice that she asked for to in order to do it.

[Enjoying the sunshine]

Thank you Dory, for bringing that up.

 

As for that meal. If you are able to do that tonight, that would be fine. I will be back at the house probably around 6:30. You can drop it off anytime, though. I have some major grocery shopping to do, and I am leaving now that all the workers are gone and the kids are settled.

 

what is your schedule for next Tuesday?

[In His Steps]

I'll have next week off, taking three vacation days Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, then we have Thursday and Friday off.

 

So this coming Tuesday, I am wide open. It would be my honor, if you would like, to watch the children while you are at work Tuesday evening. Or was something else you had in mind.

 

Hope you've had as wonderful a day as could be today.

 

God bless.

 

Chris

[In His Steps]

Last night I programmed into my phone a reminder for posting every Tuesday about time with the children on the weekends, and a reminder for posting every Thursday about time with Jacob. I never want to miss that opportunity again.

 

Would it be o.k. for me to have the children this Saturday? I was told that you were hurt by my offer of taking the children to the church I found. Thank you for be concerned about them being in church. If there is ever a chance that you couldn't take them, if you weren't feeling well or if something came up, I would love to have the opportunity to take them to the church they have already made friends and are comfortable in.

 

Thank you for holding me accountable to growing in Christ.

 

Blessings,

 

Chris

[dory]

Good postings. Good actions.

 

A few hitches....

 

She needed to know meal time arrival. The kids ate before it arrived, so she is planning to eat your meal tomorrow. Hopefully she will post.

 

Good move on the phone programming. Don't lose the phone.

 

Good offer on the vacation days and church stuff. I would tweek the last sentence to read like this: If there is ever a chance that you couldn't take them, if you weren't feeling well or if something came up, I would love to have the opportunity to take them to church - whichever church you would most prefer they attend.

[Enjoying the sunshine]

Dory, again, thanks for pointing things out. much needed.

 

Chris,

 

Thank you for preparing a meal and dropping it off. We will eat it tomorrow night, with Nanna. The kids had eaten while I was grocery shopping since we had not heard from you when you might be dropping it off.

 

the kids put candles in a wonderful triple chocolate cake for me after we put away the groceries. It probably wasn't the best supper for me to eat just dessert, but it IS my birthday!

 

As for the children... I am planning to keep them for tomorrow. Nanna is coming for dinner and cake. I moved my hours to later in the night to accomodate that. You may have them Saturday morning. I will even bring them to you, if that will help. J will be staying here, as his friend S is coming over for the weekend. How about I bring them over directly after breakfast, say, by 8:30am? And you can keep them til Sunday morning at 9 AM. I will be taking them to Pathway this weekend, and we have 4H achievement night this Sunday. If you are free, I am sure they wouldn't mind sharing that with you, too. It is at 3pm at the coop extension.

 

If you have Tuesday off- why don't you come get the younger ones (B,K,E) before I leave for work ( I will be leaving about 11:15), keep them with you, til about 4 pm, and then come here with them to help get dinner on the table, and then help them get ready and into bed by 8pm. Even J needs to be going to bed at that time, since he has been having some really hard days getting OUT of bed in the morning.. then you can leave just after 8pm. M & M will be here with them, and I am sure they would appreciate the peace.

 

On another note, I don't think we will be needing that truck. K& E from VT will be bringing their trailer and a friend to lug things. But I will let you know for sure one way or the other, as soon as we do know.

[In His Steps]

Lorna, I appreciate your offer for 4H achievement night. I will be there. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to participate in their awards. You must be very proud of them, as well as I am.

 

Weekend plans sound terrific. I'm not quite sure what we'll do together, but I hope B. likes his castle and I know we'll have fun out in the yard. Again, I'm sorry for not communicating about this weekend and making you shift around your plans.

 

Everything for Tuesday sounds great, and again thank you. I'll make sure to write down these times and be there when you've asked.

 

As for this morning, I'm sure it made you feel ignored and devalued by asking P. if you were working tonight. I'm sure it made him feel bad being put between us the way he was, and I'm sorry to the both of you. I will apologize to him about that the next time I talk to him. It wasn't fair to him, and it's not fair to you to put you in a place of having to deal with that reaction from him.

 

Again, I'm sorry, and it will not happen again. Thank you for holding me accountable to growing in Christ. I appreciate your patience.

 

I'll post tonight about my last couple of days, and call to talk to the children tonight. Hope you get some much needed good time with your Nanna tonight and work goes well.

 

God bless,

 

Chris

 

 

 

p.s., would it be o.k. for me to detail the truck still?

Edited November 19, 2010 by homeschoolinhogans

[Guest Mrs.Clean]

Chris,

 

Just a hint...chalk writes on cardboard as well as crayons...and bubbles are always fun for outside imaginative play.

 

Both can be easily attained at the dollar store.

 

Hope you have a great weekend.

 

Lorna,

 

I hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I hope your weekend is stress free without any problems arising!

 

Love to you both!

Julie