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Yes Kay, please do tell and I sure hope there will be a video of the Blessed event!!

 

I prayed for you and Bob that you would have great joy and peace in watching your beautiful dtr and son in law marry...and not too many unwelcomed emotions to arise.

 

I hope you put the link to the video here, since I do not have a face book account.

 

Looking forward to you and Bob getting back on the conference calls sometime... soon?

 

In His Love,

life giver

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Thanks C2, Dory, and Lifegiver, and everyone else who have been thinking about us, and praying for us.

 

The Wedding was beautiful! My daughter was beaming from ear to ear, and I was told that I was “glowing” I was happy, because she was happy. The happy couple are now in Jamaica, enjoying Married life. It was cute…. M texted me a couple of times, “My husband and I will be by you at around 9:45.” “My husband and I want to thank you for……” The girl is so thrilled that she is finally married!

 

The event was video taped and lots of pictures were taken. When they get back, I’ll ask her if she minds sharing some of it on the forum.

 

I was escorted down the Church, by my oldest son, who was also beaming ear to ear. My dad, who was sitting behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and told me that I looked beautiful. That melted my heart. Bob also told me that I looked nice, of course.

 

P’s Mother and I, were asked to light the unity candle before the ceremony began, but I couldn’t get the flame to work, so I had to borrow hers, but, then it was fine. I was read Philipian 2 verse 1-5, and then, his mom read it, after, in Chinese. (They had family in from Tiwan, who didn’t speak English)

 

My 3 youngest kids led the first worship song, “How Great Thou Art” - My 12 year old daughter sang, along with my 18 year old son, while he played the guitar, and my 20 year old son, played the piano. They sang many harmonies, throughout, while we all joined in. To me, that was one of my favorite memories. It was impossible to not have tears well up during that.

 

Our families got along so well. People from different cultures and parts of the World, all blending together in unison. God has been all over these two kids, from the start. A couple put together all for God’s glory. I can’t wait to see what he has planned for their lives.

 

After the Church service, I was a bit hurt by the fact that my sister skipped over me in the procession line of congratulating us, but I should have expected it. The thoughts of maybe her swallowing some of her pride and us moving forward, was short lived. What was even harder was the fact that my so called friend, of 25 years, drove up with her, roomed with her, and is now her great friend, instead of mine. She has proven over and over that she can’t be trusted, and I think I’m finally to the point of just letting her go, and realizing that that they are both “lost” and on the same level of maturity. But, the betrayal still hurt. I crashed a bit, when we got home, because of all of that, but Bob has been there for me, once I helped him through his “clueless” parts.

 

Both of us wanted so bad to keep our family dysfunctions as far away as possible and just enjoy the Wedding. We both succeeded in doing this, on Saturday. We both smiled, danced, happily greeted our guests, and enjoyed it all.

 

A funny highlight - that has kept all of us, (even our extended families) laughing - My Mother, who is mid 70’s, was on the dance floor having a great time, and my 18 year old son, was also dancing…. (My kid doesn’t drink, but, my mom was a little “tipsy” from wine. She started dancing with Br, while the song “I had the Time of My Life” was playing, and she says to my son, “Hey Br, let’s do like Dirty Dancing, and as he said, “huh?” she backed up and ran right into him, expecting him to catch her. My kid was freaked out and hadn’t had a clue what she was doing, and backed away as she ran towards him, and she leaped and fell onto the dance floor, with my son, totally freaked out and saying to her, as he tried to help her up off the floor, “Grandma what were you doing? Are you okay?” She said, “You dropped me! You were supposed to catch me. Didn’t you ever see Dirty Dancing?” And, my son said, “NO, I never saw that movie” as he wondered how in the World he could even catch his grandmother, who is double his size. She ended up diving into the air, falling flat. She is lucky she didn't break a rib or somthing. She hit hard. Anyway, she was okay, and we are still laughing about this, including her. I can only imagine the shock of my 18 year old when his grandma wanted to do “Dirty Dancing” with him. Lol

 

Another highlight from the Wedding was the Daddy Daughter Dance. My 12 year old sang as they danced to a song that Bob wrote. So many people complimented our kids, and talked about how talented our kids were, which of course made us feel good. (My “so called friend” asked me who the girl was that sang a solo, later in the Church Service and talked about her gorgeous voice, saying not one word about our children) That, too, hurt. But, I really really need to just let this go, and take it for what it is - jealousy and bitterness against us - but, as you can tell, as a victim of continuous abandonment from loved once, I still struggle. I working on this.

 

The kids of all the estranged adults got along great, and had so much fun, and it brought joy to all of us to watch their happy faces.

I sacrificed myself and stayed away from my sister and X-Friend so the kids could all swim together, the next morning. It was hard, but I wanted them all to have the chance to bond together, without having to deal with the awkwardness of being around them. After swimming, we all ended up in the same elevator, and the silence in that short trip was awful. When we were leaving, I gave both of my nieces a big hug, and turned my back on my sister and x friend, and walked away. I know I probably should have thanked them for coming, but I was near tears, and just couldn’t say anything. It’s so hard, because my sister disowned me because of my meddling into her Marriage problems, when, this “friend” was just as involved with all of it, as I was. I have emails to prove it, but she is a coward, so it all remains a secret, and she is her ‘best friend” right now, allowing her to vent about me to her, and being there for her, in a way, that I can’t. She is what people call a “Two Faced Friend” and with friends like this, I don’t need enemies. She talks nice to me, sends me sweet emails, tells my other friends (at the Wedding) that she misses me, but is the first to report any gossip to my sister, just adding fuel to the fire.

 

I know I’m venting again…. Boy, I’ll bet you didn’t think you’d get a novel by just asking a simple question of “How was the Wedding” - I’m sorry, but it is all poison and I writing helps to get it all out.

 

Today, Bob listened to me, again, and is trying to be there for me, in a way that I need. It’s hard for him to understand my pain, because he can so easily just compartmentalize everything, and let it all go. But, he is trying. He wrapped me in his arms, today, and just let me cry. Even now, my sister and all the cousins are over at my mom’s swimming, and my mom just called and invited my youngest to come and swim (we live 10 minutes away), and she wants to go, and I feel like it is cruel to not let her join in on the fun. They are all close in age, and they want us to stop fighting, and make Peace with each other. (deep sigh) Bob is taking her, now, for a little while and will stay with her. (We don’t trust any of them around her, without one of us there)

 

So, as you can see, it is really hard. It makes me want to move really far away. I feel betrayed! I don’t know what the answers are, but I do know that God has his hand in all of this, and he will bring good to the situation. Healing has come for our immediate family, but as for everyone else? It’s going to take time. They are “lost” and I am deeply “wounded” and being around them, brings me down further.

 

As for doing a call again……….. I just don’t feel God leading me in that direction right now. I need to be there for my kids, to show them that they are my first priority, to play with them, and laugh with them, and make new memories with them and Bob, of course. Last night, we went and watched a “Beatles” band, and it was great. We’re away every weekend with softball tournaments, and I’m spending a lot of time with my cousin. She usually comes by on Sunday nights. I don’t know what will come later on, but for right now, this is the place that he has me, and I need to follow his lead. But, it’s nice to know that I’m missed. Thank you for that.

 

Anyway, that’s about it for now.. Sorry it was so long.

 

Love you all,

 

Kay

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Thanks KAY for your response about the wedding. It sounded so wonderful, esp the music with your children. I would have been so proud also. And the part about your mom and your 18yr old son, LOL!!! Thats really funny!!! Im looking forward to seeing the video when the married couple returns to the states. Is that dance on the video?

 

As far as the betrayal and rejection of your sister and your former bff, I agree for you to let them go, they are immature and very arrested...You know, you dont always have to be the peacemaker, only when God tells you to! (Im learning that myself).I too have a sister, a year apart, that had taken my bff, when I was 13yrs old...(I hadnt remembered until Holy Spirit told me last year)...I guess thats why I have to a degree resented her and not really wanted to bond with her, throughout life. I have forgiven her in my heart and have tried to keep our relationship going but its been difficult. I have released her to the Father and have asked him to forgive me for any sin that I might have had through bitterness or resentment towards her. However, with all that said, I still keep my distance as I feel she is not one to still be trusted and its okay, as I said, we dont always have to be the peacemakers with the spirit of reconciliation. I have chosen to set up boundaries.

 

Anyways, I understand about the calls, it is a real commitment and I for one appreciate what you and Bob have done for all these years, and the others as well! So thank you from all that is within me and when/if Holy Spirit prompts you to get back on, I know you will. For now enjoy your newly weds and the rest of your family. I will be praying for your new job?!!

 

In His Love,

Lifegiver

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You know, you dont always have to be the peacemaker, only when God tells you to!
That has been my biggest problem with my sister. I have always been the one to try to fix problems between us, always the one to call her, apologize to her, nurture her, etc.... I would reach out, and I think by doing this, it was like validating her, that she was right and I was wrong. In the last year+, I have apologized so many times, and she has never once given anything back to me. Not one time. It was always I am right and you are wrong, PERIOD. I owe you NO apology. After being a punching bag so many times, I refuse to set myself up for that again. The only way, that our relationship will be put back together, is if my sister reaches out to me, and takes ownership of the hurts that she has caused. I can't see that happening for a very long time, if ever. I can forgive her, and I have, in my heart, but I won't fix this relationship this time around. She needs to grow up and mature and humble herself and admit that she makes mistakes, too. I believe that God wants me to keep my distance from her. For her to swallow her pride, will be a huge growing step for her.

 

Don't get me wrong... I have a lot of compassion for her situation - Her husband left her, and she is now going through a divorce, and I know that this isn't her fault, and that he messed her up, but that doesn't give her the right to throw away the people who care about her. She chose, just like her husband chose. Now, they need to deal with the consequences. My heart is and always will be for my sister, but only when she is ready. Right now, she is not. I know that, and I continue to pray for her.

 

Thanks Life Giver for giving me permission for keeping my boundaries in place. You are so right. I don't have to always be the Peace Maker.

 

And, btw... I am so sorry that you are going through all this garbage with your husband, too. I know that pain all too well. I continue to pray for Peace for you, and that the blinders will one day come off of your blind husband's eyes. He, like so many, (my brother-in-law, included) is "lost" But, sometimes, we just have to be still and allow God to be God. That is what I am doing.... but, it still hurts, as you know.

 

The newest is that my sister's husband will never come back to her now, because of what I did. So, of course, the divorce is now my fault, too. Yep, blame everyone - herself, and ME, but not HIM! He is the innocent victim. It is soooooooo sad. He is a CHEAT and a LIAR, and he has pushed my sister over the edge. Please pray for her and my 2 beautiful nieces, who are the real victims of this whole mess....Their choice has been taken away from them, and now, it is they that are trying to watch over their mommy. Pray that she finds Christ, through all of this. Thanks

 

Kay

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Thank you Kay for posting your l-o-n-g update! I loved every word of it!

 

I agree that you don't have to be the peace-maker, but I think it would have been OK to give them a tearful "thanks for coming" as you were leaving.

 

By not allowing them to see the real and beautiful YOU, God can't do His work in them. I am not saying to try hard to MAKE peace, nor am I suggesting to drum up manipulative alligator tears. Aim for the normal middle and "just be" the new creation in Christ that you are!

 

I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't have allowed your hurt feelings to lash out at them on this day. But to SHOW them the true Kay, hurt feelings and all, would have put the ball in their court. Then the Holy Spirit can use conviction to do His work in them. When your sister's daughter has her wedding, she will look back and remember how she acted towards you and how it made you feel on that special day.

 

Does this makes any sense? I invite anyone to correct me (gently please) if I am way off base.

Kay, you know that God loves you. He helped to put your life back together. You know that Bob, your kids, your parents, and WE love you! You are NOT unloved! ::clap

 

Family stuff hurts and I personaly think its OK to allow the natural truth to show (not to be confused with premeditated, manipulative tactics aiming for a specific end result) especially in light of how infrequently we see our non-christian family members these days. Thank GOD that we have NEW FAMILY in Jesus to turn to in order to stay afloat through the blood-relative mess.

 

I don't mean this to be a chastisement at all. I am not very good at coming across via text if in any way it feels like chastisement. I am sorry if it feels that way. I really do want to encourage you to JUST BE the beautiful Kay that you are! When you are loved in that way, you will feel even MORE healing.

 

It’s hard for him to understand my pain, because he can so easily just compartmentalize everything, and let it all go. But, he is trying.

Good. It is his JOB to help you with your emotions. Helping you through this will help HIM feel masculine! God's awesome design.

 

I was escorted down the Church, by my oldest son, who was also beaming ear to ear. My dad, who was sitting behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and told me that I looked beautiful. That melted my heart. Bob also told me that I looked nice, of course.

 

P’s Mother and I, were asked to light the unity candle before the ceremony began, but I couldn’t get the flame to work, so I had to borrow hers, but, then it was fine. I was read Philipian 2 verse 1-5, and then, his mom read it, after, in Chinese. (They had family in from Tiwan, who didn’t speak English)

 

My 3 youngest kids led the first worship song, “How Great Thou Art” - My 12 year old daughter sang, along with my 18 year old son, while he played the guitar, and my 20 year old son, played the piano. They sang many harmonies, throughout, while we all joined in. To me, that was one of my favorite memories. It was impossible to not have tears well up during that.

 

Our families got along so well. People from different cultures and parts of the World, all blending together in unison. God has been all over these two kids, from the start. A couple put together all for God’s glory. I can’t wait to see what he has planned for their lives.

This sounds absolutely dreamy. VERY talented kids, a husband who loves you, a multi-national christian wedding, two kids marrying who are TOTALLY sold out to God, and a grandma who falls down dancing and springs right back up. It just doesn't get any better than that!

 

M's wedding is gonna be a hard act to follow!

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That has been my biggest problem with my sister. I have always been the one to try to fix problems between us, always the one to call her, apologize to her, nurture her, etc.... I would reach out, and I think by doing this, it was like validating her, that she was right and I was wrong. In the last year+, I have apologized so many times, and she has never once given anything back to me. Not one time. It was always I am right and you are wrong, PERIOD. I owe you NO apology. After being a punching bag so many times, I refuse to set myself up for that again. The only way, that our relationship will be put back together, is if my sister reaches out to me, and takes ownership of the hurts that she has caused. I can't see that happening for a very long time, if ever. I can forgive her, and I have, in my heart, but I won't fix this relationship this time around. She needs to grow up and mature and humble herself and admit that she makes mistakes, too. I believe that God wants me to keep my distance from her. For her to swallow her pride, will be a huge growing step for her.

 

 

 

Kay, I have a similar sister situation only worse. She has refused to see anyone in the biological family I grew up in unless she wants something from them.. When she wanted $200 toward a new furnace, a loan, I just gave it to her because I knew she wouldn't pay it back and I didn't want that coming between us. She hated me for that. my friend says that when this sister calls, friend simply says: What do you want? Because she never calls just to say hi, she always has an agenda.

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I totally understand not being able to say the "thank you for coming" when you were near tears -- it was actually a no-win situation at that point, Kay. don't beat yourself up. No matter what, it would not have been good enough for them. Allow Bob to protect you.

 

it is not too late to send them a "thank you card" on behalf of your family -- just a thought

 

"today's" verse and quote about it:

Psalm 31:23-24 (NIV). Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD....... Thoughts on This Verse... Love the LORD! Be strong because of your hope in the LORD. In other words, recognize where your strength is. Acknowledge your source of grace. Give praise to God for his abundant mercy and power lavished on us through his Holy Spirit. The LORD God does preserve his people. He does honor faithfulness even if it is mocked in this world. The LORD will bless his people and deal justly with those who mock and abuse them.

 

Am so very very happy for you with the wonderful wedding, the enjoyment of the children (and the grandmother :rotfl: :rotfl: ) AND also that Bob is there for you to let you be consoled.

 

 

 

blessings, dear heart,

 

June of

Edited by June & Ward
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I am feeling a lot better, today. Bob helped, for sure, by giving me lots and lots of hugs. Also, my cousin came over yesterday and loved on me. Her high energy positive attitude always helps to put me in a better mood. And, reading all the love poured on by all of you, still brings smiles to my face.

 

And, fyi..... I did sort of nod at the two of them, before leaving. It's not like I completely turned my back on them, and angrily walked away. I am sure that they knew I was hurting. It was pretty obvious. My "friend" seemed very uncomfortable, and none of us felt condemnation from my sister, even. It was more just that awkwardness between all of us. She told my sister-in-law that "We had a falling out and she left the dance studio on bad terms" and nothing more about us. My "friend" told my friends (at a different table) that "she missed me and really didn't like to get in the middle between the two of us" But, with that said, the truth came out when she reported gossip to my sister about something innocent that I said, and my sister told my son, who told me, etc... Bottom Line, I know that the two spend time justifying their behavior's towards me, and they validate each other, and I want no part of it. I hate gossip! Venting is one thing, but to deliberately add fuel to the fire, is unacceptable.

 

I am going to just try to put it behind me and just move on with making new memories. One day, I know that the truth will come out, about her involvement, and I'm just trusting God. All in his timing!

 

Thanks for caring,

Kay

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  • 4 weeks later...

I've been thinking a lot about "Friendship"

 

During this journey I have gained so many friends.... people who remained loyal and loved me through the good times and bad. You know who you are!

 

I also lost a lot of friends. It makes me question what a friend really looks like.

 

I know that I wasn't a very good "friend" to my sister. She needed me to be there in a way that I couldn't. She needed me to listen to her, without teaching her. She needed me to just hold her hand through the tough times. I didn't do that. I tried to help her, to teach her, to show her the way. I saw her blind spots and was worried about her. I did this because I loved her so much, but she didn't want this from me. She just wanted me to "Trust her" and to support her in the way that she needed. Unfortunately, her choices went against everything that I believed in, and I felt like I needed to choose right from wrong. To choose her way or GOD's way!

 

Now, we have no friendship. We have nothing. Was it worth it? I don't know. How do you love someone unconditionally when you feel that they are not inline with God's truth? Don't we have a commitment to God to try to plant the seeds?

 

I think where I made my mistake was that when I saw that her door was closed tight, I should have respected this boundary and back off. I did, but by then, it was too late. The damage was already done.

 

And, then, I think of how she hurt me. She wasn't innocent. She abused me in many ways, and in order to protect myself, I have put up walls. But, then, I think, God says, to Love even my enemy. I do still love her, but my walls are up high.

 

It is a constant battle to stay nice and sweet and love on those who hurt you, but I am trying. It is all I can do. One day, she will be ready and I will be ready. Right now, it is just the way it is. All in God's timing, right?

 

I do know that my husband is my best friend, which makes me smile. We have been through so much, but in the end, we made it through. I am so grateful for that. We talk to each other and we listen to each other. We respect each other. We walk alongside each other. We pull each other up during the tough times instead of knocking each other down, like we used to. Praise the Lord that we made it to the other side! Thank you Jesus!

 

I love Kathy's advice - Get in your convertable, put the top down, and have fun! Enjoy Life! But, in order to be happy, sometimes, you need to walk away from all the drama! At least for awhile, until God tells you it is time to bring down the walls.

 

Here is a special thank you to all my friends for loving me during this journey called life. And to Bob, for changing into a true man of God - My best friend of all! I love you!

 

Kay

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I do know that my husband is my best friend, which makes me smile. We have been through so much, but in the end, we made it through. I am so grateful for that. We talk to each other and we listen to each other. We respect each other. We walk alongside each other. We pull each other up during the tough times instead of knocking each other down, like we used to. Praise the Lord that we made it to the other side! Thank you Jesus!

 

I love Kathy's advice - Get in your convertable, put the top down, and have fun! Enjoy Life!

 

::clap ::clap

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  • 4 weeks later...

Looking Back.......

 

4 Years ago, I came to this forum, a complete mess.

 

Imagine every single negative emotion you can think, and that was me. There were times that I was so angry and bitter, than I lashed out at everyone around me who would even dare to look at me the wrong way. There were even times when I blasted the very ones who were trying to help me. And, to my husband? His "niceness" was sometimes met with a slap across the face! I yelled, screamed, swore, (I think you get the picture)

 

This was the result of living with a bad husband. I was responding to the way I was being treated for so long, and it sure wasn't pretty.

 

But, what did you all do? You came with your beautiful compassionate hearts and lifted me up and out of my crazy self. You loved on me, and showed me the beauty inside myself that was buried so deep within. And, you taught me all about Jesus. And, I saw Jesus inside each and everyone of you.

 

I remember thinking so many times, "Why would they care? These people don't even know me?" THAT was the beauty in all of this. And, it was so addicting. For a long while, I held the most posts then anyone here, even J & K. I couldn't get away from the forum. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want to go where there is so much Love? and then, to have that love poured out on little ole me, who was so undeserving? It was mind boggling!

 

I began to understand just who this Jesus was and how he worked through other people to bring me closer to him. I was strengthened and brought to a place where I could be me, without feeling like I was being judged and/or criticized. I could pour out my anger, frustrations, and sadness anytime I needed to, even if it looked ugly. I was safe. And, what happened, because of this? The poison inside of me came out, and was replaced with calmness and contentment, and eventually, goodness and kindness.

 

Keep in mind that I didn't have a husband who was there by my side, bringing healing. Mine had quit very early on into our journey, and even when he did back, it was only temporary. He quit this Ministry more times than I could count. He was stuck in pride and arrogance, and had the attitude, of "What about me? What about my voice? Doesn't the wife have to do her part?" All it did was push me further away from him.

 

Eventually, he made the choice to put my heart first and become teachable. He allowed me to get my anger out and he stood there and took it, without complaining. He listened to all of you, and he understood that my "feelings" were MY feelings, and that they were important, even IF they were wrong. He validated me. YOU validated me! And, the results were in.. We made it. We healed. We matured. And, we drew closer to God each step of the way. That, my friends, is Key! Keeping God center in your life!

 

(In whatever you do in life, be sure to do what I did.. and that is that I found people to help me over the last four years who) have been a reflection of Jesus Christ, and they have God first in their life. Remember the Fruits of the Spirit 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

 

And, know, that even when you fail, and others fail you, that God still loves you, and he understands. He will never let you go!

 

I am forever grateful to all of you for your never-ending love and kindness!

 

God Bless you,

 

Kay

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Beautiful testimony! I am honored to have been a part of your life the past three years. It has been a real inspiration to me

 

to watch someone open up with a childlike faith to the leading of a loving Savior! Blessings on your journey!

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Bob and Kay are an awesome praise report and testimony of the change that happens when couples jump in with both feet in living "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" God is so good and we continue to be thrilled every day to see the transformations that happen in couples lives all over the world who apply themselves to husbands initiating and wives responding!

 

Husbands: Proactively creating a happy marriage!

 

Wives: Proactively responding to agape love!

 

Those early days were rough.. about a year or more? - but when Bob finally "got it" - you two have continued to move forward at a wonderful pace!

 

You have not posted much in the last few months.. nice to see a "state of the union" update again. ::love

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Kay, I know you are busy with your life but I feel like I have lost a friend. I truly appreciate all the time you gave to this ministry and all the times you stood in the gap for me with DW. When he was being abusive to me you saw through it and took the hit for me. You understood me and gave me strength when mine was all gone and I will be forever grateful.

 

C2

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C2 - while Kay is enjoying her happy marriage and family (she worked hard to get that happy marriage.. she deserves it!).. you can step up and offer that same grace and support to others that Kay offered to you! We were just reading from 2 Corinthians tonight on the group call.. that as you pour grace out on others, God increases his Glory in your life and marriage! 2 Corinthians 4:7-18. That is what Kay experienced as she poured out to others. God BROKE THROUGH and gave her a HAPPY marriage! Her and Bob's journeys were one of the longest to go from misery to happy - but it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there.. what matters is that a couple gets there!

 

You two have got to get over to Palm Coast and see us soon. Come relax, enjoy and fellowship!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Kay and Rick.

My name is Fiona, I’m from England, my husband is Shaun. I found this site just over a week ago. At the weekend I started reading your string. I feel now this was the Holy Spirit leading me to your story in particular. I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster for 4 days solid. Been up till 2 in the mornings reading, last night in bed, I laughed my head off at the “incompetent terrorist” remark. My daughter thought I was crazy! It was a much needed light moment for me.

This morning I finished the last 15 or so pages, and cried a lot. Especially the bit where your oldest daughter was able to express her hurt and pain, and how lovingly Rick dealt with it. I pray this healing for my gorgeous girl too, who has been so very badly hurt and let down by our choices and immaturity. I have so much grief inside for her, much more than me. Thank God for your story of hope.

Then ricks post to you

“ It is not hard to put you first in things, you have always deserved this from me everywhere. It also is not hard to take the actions to do this besides saying the words. It is not hard to do them even when they are not noticed, or seen, or seemingly ignored or anything else because of all I have put your through. It is not hard to keep doing them not based on what you do or how you react, but because it is the right thing to do no matter what. It is not hard to see what we do says powerful things about who we are, whats in our hearts and how deep our souls are without words at all. It is not hard to love and to be happy to show it not judging things by whether or not it comes back to you, or thinking of what someone else should do, or anything else. It certainly is not hard to see you happy even if for just a moment, being able to relax and feeling loved and cared for. It is not hard making new memories of love and caring with you in the center of it all, you deserve it and so much more.”

This set me off again, I’m crying as I write this. Rick, that letter from you to your wife brought ME healing, God is so good. Thankyou Rick for your courage and humility and loving heart, I don’t know how to express to you that what God has done in you, for your marriage and your wife and your kids has blessed me, even if we don’t make it.

Dearest Kay, Gosh! Don’t know where to start or end. Your faith, determination, tenacity, and tender heart. I have been truly humbled by your transparency, and very challenged by it. I have a core of shame inside me, that is like a fortress, and I will think of your bravery and childlike trust when God is ready to pull those walls down for me.

Thank you both for casting your bread upon the waters, I pray a double portion for you and your precious kids, that The Lord will repay you for all the years that the locusts have eaten. I have been copying and pasting bits of your string as I’ve gone along, all the amazing Godly advice, insight, wisdom and love that you got from everyone on here. Someone a long time ago gave you this verse, I can’t remember who or when.

Psalms 90: 15,16, 17

 

Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery, Replace the evil years with good. Let us see your miracles again, let our children see great glory at work and may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful, yes make our efforts successful.

How faithful our God is to His promises . And how you have trusted Him, yielded to Him, and allowed Him in to heal you, even when it was soooo painful sometimes.

Kay, you wrote this not long ago,

So, then, I left for work, and as I was driving, I started to talk to my father (God) and I kept saying over and over again, that I wasn't worthy of all he has blessed me with. I'm not sure why I kept thinking that, but I was... over and over again, as tears were flowing.... why me? Why, when so many of my friends are going through divorce, and are in these bad Marriages.. I started thinking about my kids and how happy they are, and it was hard for me to get a grip on it all. I guess you can say that I was a bit overwhelmed.

You DO deserve this, all of you. Please carry on walking in the amazing blessings that God has in store for you, it is an inspiration to me, a dream for me to follow, and refuse to be talked into second best. I can't wait to see how He proves His generosity, big heart, extravagent love, and GLORY in your lives next. It makes me think that I deserve that too, cos I too have an amazing Dad who loves me, and wants to heal me and provide for me and bless me.

I am honoured to have “met” you in cyberspace, and all the other great people on your string. Blessings

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Hi Princess Fiona -

 

Here is icing on the cake.. a post from Kay and Bob's daughter:

 

http://joelandkathy.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/3068-thank-you-from-kay-and-bobs-daughter/

 

It is so wonderful now for Bob and Kay's story to minister to you so much. We love them so very much and are so proud of them for the miracle that they walked into. They are enjoying their wonderful marriage now and YOU and Shawn will be doing the same very soon!

 

We trust that we will be seeing you two here for a Five Day intensive soon..

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