Either way <-------> I WIN

[KathyandJoel]

The number one focus is to keep my safe place free of NEW bad memories!

 

Okay...let me chat about this a minute.

 

DG/RK, which ever you are today you are to be REPLACING the OLD memories with NEW MEMORIES.

 

Okay. First of all, ya'll are in a NEW PLACE.

 

New Place: meaning.....not in the HOME where a lot of the bad memories happened. YOU are in a NEW PLACE.

 

New Place: New Opportunity. New Beginning. A NEW ROOM.

 

All the junk is out in the open. Nothing hidden, right DG/RK?

 

For the both of you: Lets move forward to a NEW BEGINNING, a NEW LIFE, a NEW START.

 

Lets try to live life and enjoy it every day. AS YOU DO, stuff will automatically come up with out you having to make it come up. Emotions and memories will automatically POP up without you having to force them to.

 

Life will happen all on it's own. In between those moments, ENJOY LIFE.

 

You will get strength in the "good times,"so when the bad times happen" and they do along this journey, you will be confident enough to know "this too shall pass. This is JUST a bump in the road."

 

You then are able to look at the track record that you are working on and realize it has been a few days or weeks etc since the last bump in the road. Progress is being made.

 

DG/RK, YOU CAN do this life. YOU are capable of doing this.

 

As you live this life on a daily basis, you family wll be healed.

 

Okay, "Let's Roll."

 

Blessings and much favor, Kathy of Joel and Kathy

[Thankful for Gracey]

DG, First and formost, I am not a helper. Just someone who has been where you are before. Whatever you do, don't get comfortable!! Stay out of your comfort zone and don't take advantage of this opportunity that you have in front of you. God has blessed you with a family that you should be taking very good care of. As Gracey mentioned before, we talked about our downfall two years ago and it was true that I jumped at the chance to move in. I wasn't ready and I saw that later. I had a lot of arrested development issues to deal with but my pride kept that secret then it was too late. It was 4 months before she and I remarried and i still took advantage of her heart. I tore it all to shreds. You have heard the old saying "the bottom of the barrel"? Well if you had tilted it over, I would have been under the bottom. I didn't realize that the best things in my life was standing right in front of me. I still have a long way to go with all of the healing of her heart and for me to walk as Jesus did and be the Christian man Gracey has been looking for. I am not a big reader but for these past several weeks, I have found myself watching TV less and reading my Bible more. I am beginning to enjoy reading and enjoy finding out just how to follow Jesus and how He performed miracles upon this land. He is awesome. i took every advantage of my wife and family just to suit my selfish nature. I was and am passive, but I am working on that. I am not afraid to discuss anything with Gracey whereas before I shut down and crawled in a cave and did not like confrontation by any means. After i confessed to Gracey of my addiction to porn and the affair, I thought it was over. God touched her heart and she forgave me. How awesome is that??!!! As I mentioned, I have a long way to go, but as long as I have Jesus in my heart and Gracey as my helpmeet, there is no way I am going to mess this one up. She is my everything and God is my lifesaver and redeemer. All I have to do is lay down my life and give her the respect and the love she desires and the Godly man she wants to hold hands with.

This may be your last chance as it was mine. You say you will do anything, I said that also. When I said that, suggestions from the helpers started coming out of the woodworks. She would ask, I obliged. Without her, I had might as well rolled up the tent and become a nomad. She has a great and Godly heart which I want to spend the rest of my life with. We have awesome children and grandchildren "for whom we are well pleased."

Gracey and I pray each night for all the folks in the ministry and on the forum with great desire for all who live by Gods word to have an extremley OHM. that's what I'm working for. Just remember, take your time and keep God in the front of your thoughts and prayers. Honor your wife so your prayers are not hindered.

In Him

TFG

 

 

 

Dear Cherish,

 

I am so sorry for not dying right and not initiating Agape Love so the homecoming would be fun, not scary. Thank you for letting me come home. I sincerely appreciate it.

 

I will gladly respect and obey ALL of your boundaries posted above and any more that you need in addittion as they come up. I LOVE YOU AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR OHMF!!

 

 

 

 

Again, THANK YOU so much for "letting" me come home. I agree that I could have and should have died better and provided a safer place up till now. I believe that there are some good things that will help us go forward in our OHM by us being together.....IF I am SAFE and INITIATE AGAPE LOVE TO ALL OF YOU!!! I will sleep on the floor or the couch or wherever you want me to, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE SCARED!!!

 

rk

Edited July 8, 2010 by Thankful for Gracey

[CHeRIsh]

I am so sorry that I have not replied to the last few wonderful posts. I have been swamped. I will get back in here and comment and reflect tomorrow.

 

As a side note: DG is back home as FoJ has already posted! Things are going well. Progress is slow... but there IS progress! I will include more details in my next post.

 

Thank you J&K Land for that you do!

 

Hugs,

CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

Hey J&K Land, we are doing well here. DG seems to be adjusting to life w/ his fam! He also seems to be VERY determined to follow through on my requests as I have listed on my boundary post a few days ago. This is a HUGE relief.

 

I can't put my finger on what I feel right now. I guess "numb" would be the best word. Oh, and tired! I have actually been stepping back now that DG is here to "let" him pick up some of the slack.

 

 

CHeRIsh

Edited July 13, 2010 by CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

I said:

Posted 06 July 2010 - 08:51 AM

You are FINALLY joining us here in KC! Good for you... I am NOT so sure about me!

Here are the boundaries for when you get here!

It's ALL about MY Safe Place!

 

I have not decided if I want you to live permanently in my Safe Place yet. My decision will be based completely on how you treat our Blessings and me during these first four weeks.

DG has 4 weeks to prove to me that he WANTS to live in “my” town-home with me as well as dwell in understanding with me. Up to this point, things have gone relatively smooth. But, yesterday... day NINE was REALLY a bad day as far as DG re-opening old wounds! So, far today... day ten has gotten much worse. He has slammed the door at least twice and “raised his voice” way more than that. Below, I will attempt to give you a “sample platter” of the poisonous words that he has been “serving” me in the last roughly 24 hours. This is in very random order.

• I can’t do anything right! (As he is pulling at his hair with both hands! (For added “emphisis”, of course!) He said and did this 2 or 3 different times.
• You are so smart, why can’t you understand what is going on here? (At least 2 times he said this!)
• Two choices that you are making right now, are CRAP! What about our marriage? Isn’t it supposed to be more important?
• Yesterday, (day nine) when we had that first argument, I was doing everything perfectly yet, you (CHeRIsh) focus on one little detail. I (DG) can’t do anything right!
• Fine, I will just leave.
• You (CHeRIsh) are “allowed” to vent but, I (DG) have to go to God.
• At one point I said, we should have gotten on the call last night. DG interrupted and said, “But, no you and the Blessings went to church instead.” (Inferring that I prioritized the wrong “thing” and that all of this is my fault.)
• Today, at one point, I started packing his computer bag saying that he needed to leave. He said “NO!” At least 3 times! Once while he grabbed the computer bag from me and shoved it to the floor!
• A guy is coming to my town-home this morning. I had originally requested that he be here when this man gets here. So, at some point I (CHeRIsh) said fine, I will just deal w/ this man all by myself. DG said, that’s fine, you have been dealing with everything during our separation all by yourself anyway!
• I (DG) will just leave! My words: O.K. just don’t take the van, cause I (CHeRIsh) need it to take our Blessings to their activities this a.m. “NO!” I (DG) WILL take the van and ANYTHING else that I want to take! After this, I (CHeRIsh) just STARED at him! What a WOUNDING thing to say! WoW!

Yesterday, he did cooperate, and leave my Safe Place after the first argument when I felt unsafe and to wounded to discuss it any further. Thank you VERY much.

 

2-3 times RIGHT after "shooting me" w/ some of the hurt-filled words from above, he would say something like, can’t we start over? (Meaning can’t we “forget” about all the horrible things that he said and act like they were never said and “move on”.)

 

Kathy said:

You will get strength in the "good times,"so when the bad times happen" and they do along this journey, you will be confident enough to know "this too shall pass. This is JUST a bump in the road."

 

You then are able to look at the track record that you are working on and realize it has been a few days or weeks etc since the last bump in the road. Progress is being made.

OK, I understand and agree, that we are supposed to look at the first several days and be thankful... and I am. And, even while this post has been in progress. (I started it this morning, and I am finally just about done w/ it.) Earlier this afternoon, he did try to bring healing and closure to this. I am thankful but, still very wounded! But, I feel that there was just too many really MEAN things that DG said in such a short period of time, to just sweep it all under the rug.

,

CHeRIsh

 

 

[J_W]

You are FINALLY joining us here in KC! Good for you... I am NOT so sure about me!

 

Here are the boundaries for when you get here!

 

It's ALL about MY Safe Place!

 

• I have not decided if I want you to live permanently in my Safe Place yet. My decision will be based completely on how you treat our Blessings and me during these first four weeks. You are gonna have to do double time too, cause you have been doing a terrible job of initiating life and healing to me and our marriage while we have been separated.

• No YELLING in my Safe Place. PERIOD. If at any point, you feel unable to treat me the way Jesus would, then leave. We will deal w/ the abandonment feelings that may have been stirred up, later. The number one focus is to keep my safe place free of NEW bad memories!

• Don't bring smut (porn) or wound diggers (rejection through gaming) "here"! Don't look like you are doing these things either. Examples: Getting on the computer in the middle of the night, hiding your laptop screen, exiting a screen on your laptop as soon as I walk in the room, dragging your feet about finishing the budget, locking yourself into your bedroom while you are "supposed" to be being a DAD to our Blessings, ect.

• See something that "needs" to be done around the house? You can do it yourself or be silent about it as you wait for me to have the chore done in MY time the way I see fit. (No "horn tooting" allowed either. Do the job for your "comfort and piece of mind" and Jesus eyes alone.)

• Please don't ask our Blessings to serve you. You are needing to serve them for at least the first 6 months. Example: Get your own glass of water, make your own ramen (just the way "you like it") and you GIVE Sam a back rub. (He is NOT allowed to give you one for 6 months.)

Things could have been so much better. We could have been on a much stronger foundation for this next chapter of our OHM process. Instead, I am feeling very doubtful over your level of commitment. However, what choice do I have? (More TRAPPED feelings for me!) You are the father of my Blessings and you need a place to stay, cause you FINALLY rearranged your priorities and broke it off w/ your mistress. (Job!)

 

It's incredibly easy for you to call me "CHeRIsh" and post about how "wonderful" I am. When are your actions going to consistently "say" these things as well?

 

I am NOT excited about the fact that you are coming, I am scared and I don't like you.

 

,

CHRI

 

P.S.- I am sorry Kathy and J&K Land, I don't have any "atta-boys" to give RK (road kill)! He has been doing a pretty lousy job of anything but being self-focused lately.

 

HOWEVER, I am determined to keep going in this process! Hey DG, I know that you can do this! Please, I am begging you, stay on board with this Ministry. It's a new day, we have a brite future before us!

 

HE violated the boundaries specifically and must repent of each of them specifically -- this is your (hard) role as help-meet to point out to him.

 

HE MUST:

 

Listen to your heart (withOUT arguing and defending and explaining)

Offer an apology (withOUT arguing and defending and explaining and w/o using "but")

Validate the feelings that this hurt has again heaped on you

Embrace you (only if you allow it)

Repent and make restitution (if applicable)

 

IF HE has not yet gone through the "abuse/power/control" wheel he should DO THIS quickly so that he will actually admit that he IS an abuser! http://www.lifeskillsintl.org/Power_and_Control_Wheel.html and more fully explained in Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them (by Paul Hegstrom, sold at www.BestMarriage.com)

 

He initiates THEN you respond -- he feeds blessings into you, then you respond to it

if he feeds bitterness/rudeness into you, then unfortunately that is what you respond to... GOD made you this way! You did not make yourself this way... but your husband is choosing to initiate what he wants.

 

Perhaps your husband can review the attributes of agape-loving and with that "listen" to your heart -- he says he wants to agape-love you -- so we will continue to pray that he really does mean this.

 

prayerfully and for your consideration,

 

June of Ward & June

[CHeRIsh]

June, you wrote:

HE violated the boundaries specifically and must repent of each of them specifically -- this is your (hard) role as help-meet to point out to him.

 

Thank you, Miss June! Your post hit the nail right on the head! How very odd for me to NOT realize that my newest boundaries had been VERY violated! I didn't even check my recent post against the list of boundaries. He blew just about every one of them!

 

June said:

HE MUST:

 

Listen to your heart (withOUT arguing and defending and explaining)

Offer an apology (withOUT arguing and defending and explaining and w/o using "but")

Validate the feelings that this hurt has again heaped on you

Embrace you (only if you allow it)

Repent and make restitution (if applicable)

Hey, DG you better show up here, DUDE!

 

 

 

Thank you for your encouragement, Miss June. This helps me stay the course! One day at a time, Sweet JESUS!

 

,

CHeRIsh

Edited July 17, 2010 by CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

Here's some "food" for thought, huh DG?!!! Thanks for sharing LoWtD!

 

"Lots a work to do" said:

 

Posted Yesterday, 11:31 PM

 

07-16-2010

 

To say that my wife is a mirror reflection of me is only partially accurate. To be more accurate, my wife is like an MRI guided by the Holy Spirit to expose my flaws so that I could become the man God created me to be. A mirror only shows what is on the outside. An MRI shows what’s going on inside which is where God really wants me to change. To make a comparison, she is like HDTV. HDTV is disliked by actors because it exposes the flaws (wrinkles, pimples, blemishes), even though they’re covered with makeup, that a regular picture tube does not reveal.

 

The spiritual source of my wife’s soul, when it comes to me, is honor. Her entire vitality and happiness is dependent on how I honor her. A wife wants to be perfect in her husband’s eyes – this is her honor, her happiness, and her security. Negative remarks destroy her self-image. When she’s criticized, her honor is offended which is damaging to her soul, weakens her vitality and eventually crushes her both spiritually and physically. A wife that’s subjected to criticism finds life unbearable as she was not designed to tolerate criticism. She was created by God to have zero tolerance for criticism.

 

Why did God create her this way? Because she is to be a reflection of me; any deficiency I see in her is actually my own deficiency. My wife’s unpleasant behavior is an indication of something askew in my service to God or of something else that needs correcting. My wife’s disrespect of me merely mirrors my disrespect of her. If I put her on a pedestal, she will do likewise.

 

Since any deficiency that I see in my wife is really my own shortcoming, I really shouldn’t try to correct her, especially by reprimanding or criticizing. Instead I should evaluate myself and correct what needs correcting. When I do this, she’ll automatically change for the better.

 

Acknowledging that my wife is my mirror, I can search within myself to correct the problems that I see with her. So here is a new rule which I must learn to live by: God will show me what I need to correct by way of my wife. Any negative characteristic I see in her, every flaw, and every mistake she makes, shows me what I need to rectify. My looking at her is exactly like looking in the mirror. The shortcomings I see are mine.

 

The reason my wife is so sensitive to criticism is because God does not want me to criticize her in the least, but rather, only to correct myself instead.

 

In short, my wife was “programmed”, if you will, to facilitate in my repentance. Any flaw, mistake, or shortcoming on my behalf will trigger a response from my wife. This works in the opposite manner as well: any improvement or spiritual reinforcement in me will elevate my wife.

 

My wife’s characteristics were designed to help me become a righteous person.

Read 1st book in Feb. 2010

Ordered books for friends

Joined men's group Feb. 2010

Completed DVD set Feb. 2010

Read 2nd book "Living It, Loving It" March 2010

Read Paul Hegstrom "Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them" May 2010

Read Ken Nair's "Discovering the Mind of a Woman" June 2010

Read Joseph Walker III "Love & Intimacy:Five Ways to Get Together and Stay Together" July 2010

Reading "The Garden of Peace"

 

,

CHeRIsh

Edited July 17, 2010 by CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

This does NOT seem to be working... I am so tired. DG is now living w/ me in my town-home, my Safe Place. I feel so trapped in all of this. I hear Kathy's words in my head, (something like), "here ya sit, you can either teach him how to be a great husband or not, 'cause he will always be the father of your children." (I am sry Kathy, I know that I just butchered it but, hopefully I was close!)

 

The last 3-5 days have been miserable to say the least. We are both "so busy" w/ the responsibilities in our "day to day" world, it's crazy! I make myself stay aware of HIS (Jesus!) Presence, read on the forum, as I try SO HARD to be lead by Holy Spirit. If I remember correctly, Kathy and the Lady Helpers here teach that it the wife's job to point out 1 out of three things to work on. I feel like I do more like 1 out of ten. I feel so incredibly UNSTABLE concerning DG random and unpredictable responses and actions.

 

,

CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

O.K.,

 

Today, I have received some good intentions from DG including a few well intended hugs and a couple kisses and a so-so apology. So, why do the crappy, M/S (Mother/Son!) Issued one line-ers HURT SO BAD!!!? I am TRYING to focus on the positive actions of DEADGuy. Jesus, please help me....

 

 

,

CHeRIsh

[Initiator]

Dear Cherish,

 

After hours of counsel over the last 3 days with Joel and Kathy and you, I see once again that you are truly INCREDIBLE and I should be SO THANKFUL every second of every day that you are allowing me to win your Heart back. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be the Man of God Jesus gave his life for me to be to you and our children.....thank you so much!

 

Thank you for allowing me to be back home, to be a Daddy, and for all the awesomeness that you are. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

 

dg

[fullofjoy]

Dad,

 

Woohoo! (that was sarcastic). Here you are again…back home and talking about how you are going to change and things are going to be different this time, etc, etc. Blah, blah, blah! That is all that I hear, dad. How am I supposed to put any hope in the words you say? How am I supposed to trust that what you say? Will you actually follow through with these things? When will the excitement and everything start to fade? When the dying process actually “sets in” are you going to get cold feet once again? It is great that you got all the extra time with Joel and Kathy and Kimberly and Joshua in but I don’t just want words this time…can we get some actions behind them, please?

[Initiator]

Dear Hannah,

 

I would like to make breakfast for Mom, you and Bethany tomorrow morning. Please reply with what you want to eat. I Love you and am very sad that my past has more words than action. I believe this time IS for real......words won't prove it, only my Agape actions.

 

Thank you for being bold and speaking from your heart. I know it wasn't easy.

 

CYA in the morning!

 

Love Daddy

[fullofjoy]

That will be yummy! Ummm...how about a yummy omelet and a chocolate doughnut (or something chocolate - maybe chocolate milk?). Something along those lines? Biscuits and gravy are also a favorite of mine.

[Initiator]

Hannah,

 

Thank you for the fun breakfast. You are so fun to be around. God gave you the middle name Joy on purpose. I am so sorry my choices have clogged up the well spring of Joy Father put in you. YOU are SO BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you for being patient with the "snowcrew" environment during breadfast.

 

Love

 

Daddy

[Initiator]

Cherish,

 

YOU are still the girl I fell in Love with so many years ago.....and so much more that I am excited about finding out about! Please believe me; you ARE Beautiful, Desirable, Fun to be with and I want to grow OLD and Wrinkled with you and our Children and their Children's Children!

 

Thank you for Loving me and giving me the chance to win your heart back and be a man.

 

Love,

 

guf

[fullofjoy]

Dad, I understand that you are tired, sick, you don't have your medicine and all of this but that still doesn't give you the right or the ok to raise your voice in any way. Period. That was part of the rules that Momma gave you before you came here. Please don't do it anymore.

[Initiator]

Dear Hannah,

 

You are right, thank you for standing up and speaking out. I won't do it again.

 

guf

[J_W]

Dear Hannah,

 

You are right, thank you for standing up and speaking out. I won't do it again.

 

guf

 

Where is the APOLOGY, Deadguy?

[Initiator]

Dear Forum Land,

 

Cherish, Hannah and I have been meeting and talking alot and God has been very faithful to help us move forward....this in spite of me blowing it with one liners and ouchy words several times.

 

I sincerely apologize to you Hannah and Cherish for not shutting my mouth no matter what my messed up head was screaming at me. Last night Cherish was AWESOME and walked in Agape Love to help me "get it". Cherish, thank you for doing that; I know it was VERY HARD and you did it for the children first and then for the thread of hope you are holding onto for our OHM!!!

 

Today was a success, Cherish was able to get some yuchy puss out of the wounds I created recently....I think just one of them because of many interruptions from life and blessings. There was also a big wound that she overcame just now at the end of the day that was overwhelming and she kept her sights on restoration and our OHM! You are so incredible Cherish, I truly want to repay you plus interest FOREVER for all the pain, wounds and sorrow I have caused you and our children.

 

Forum land, I am trying to write in a good way even though my mind says I am meesing it all up and not saying the right thing or focusing on Cherish the right way. Nevertheless, CHERISH AND THE CHILDREN ARE WORTH IT.....SO PLEASE CORRECT ME AND HELP ME (i am thankful for any small kudos along the way as well, if any opportunity lends itself)

 

Thank you Cherish and Hannah for Loving Jesus more than giving into fear and hopelessness. I will continue to grow up "one day at a time"!

 

guf

[J_W]

Where is the APOLOGY, Deadguy?

 

 

WHERE is the correct apology, Deadguy?

 

You cannot keep having your wife step in and perform agape-loving -- you MUST do this yourself FOR them

[CHeRIsh]

The last couple weeks have been a blur! I am sorry that I have not posted lately.

 

DG and I have been severely challenged in our family life w/ a couple issues that are not dealing w/ our relationship per say. AND Drum roll please..... I am blessed to report that, although not very "pretty" at times, we are doing much better, than in the past, at dealing w/ those issues. Yea!

 

A very major victory is the re-discovery of the BAD side effects of Lexapro! DG is in the process of weening himself off of this EVIL (at least of us!) drug. It has been a real eye-opener to discover the amount of those who are temporarily benefit from this drug! However, many shortly after "feeling better" start to have the serious side effects and then soon after realize that they are addicted! Any ways... sry about the side-track.... I have hope to have FINALLY begun to "break through" to DG on how damaging the side effects have been to our marriage and family! The two most important, at least to me would be, disconnected-ness and negative sexual side effects!

 

I told DG that there may have actually been times that we were "blaming" his mother/son issued head for problems when it could have simply been Lexapro! "What you can understand, you can deal with!" Right? Right! DG WILL be taking the necessary steps to get off of this! It may be a long process but, at least we ARE moving in the right direction! Besides, he was ALREADY down to 5mg from 20 on his own weeks BEFORE he understood all of this!

 

I CAN see where Father God IS directing our steps (ie choices!) even when we feel like we are just in "survival mode"! I Love YOU Jesus!

 

,

CHeRIsh

 

P.S.- Several days back, I helped DG post an apology and we lost it! He did REALLY well on his own then, he asked me to "edit" it. I only made one "little" change! But, then he lost it!

 

MORE later!

[gracey520]

Girl!

 

All I can say is Amen and Amen about Lexapro, as well as most other anti-depressants. YES, they help pull a person out of the pit, but there sure is a price to pay. What I wouldn't give to turn back time and take something natural and homeopathic rather than going down this trail so many years ago. DG is doing great if he is down to 5mg of Lexapro.

 

Blessings,

Gracey

[CHeRIsh]

Gracy520 said:

What I wouldn't give to turn back time and take something natural and homeopathic rather than going down this trail so many years ago.

It's amazing how many have said the same thing!

 

Gracy520 also said:

DG is doing great if he is down to 5mg of Lexapro.

I AGREE completely!

 

,

CHeRIsh

[CHeRIsh]

Our Z-Team, in J&K Land IS rocking and rolling! Sadly, we do NOT seem to be able to squeeze enough hours from our day to post more consistently! There's GOTTA be some time in "there" somewhere though! This (posting) "used to be" so important to me. It still is somewhere in there. ()

 

We are so incredibly BLESSED! DG gets to do the job that he used to do in Houston, FROM MY Town-home in the KC area. This is NOTHING short of AMAZING! Thank YOU, Jesus!

 

We continue to get better at our roles in the OHM process. From my perspective, it's just like Kathy teaches, during the DG hiccups, it literally feels like my world IS caving in around us! But, then it passes. I REALLY want to get better at "enjoying life" all the other times. We have so much to be thankful for.

 

I have had my 30 day meeting w/ DG. I felt like what I was supposed to do was extend it another 30 days. (Least he get "comfy cozy" and backside to his OLD, very YUCKY ways!) His clothes are still being stored in a "closet" in the basement next to the washer and dryer. He has told me that this idea has served him well. It reminds him to keep his FLESH under control and DEAD! I am hope-filled that he will one day, VERY soon have earned the right to be called more than a "guest" in "my" home. I have NEVER had a guest in my bed. He should be VERY thankful, don't ya think? *giggles

 

,

CHeRIsh