jenisy Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 So glad to hear this. I know it is hard, but you guys CAN press through! I know what you mean about "minute man". We were there a long time ago, so if we Can do it, you can too. I know it hurts, but remember it is NOT because of you. Keep pointing things out gently, and remember the 1 out of 3 principle. Would you guys be going to the cali intensive and driving there?thank you, the intensive is actually in washington with michale and annalea in late OCt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 We are so glad that you two are having fun together again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey.. we need to change the title of your topic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ephesiansman Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thank u cmarie. I love you, ur imput is alwasy so right on. I am stepping into faith. I am also aplying for another job at my work, it is kinda crappy, far away and min wage, but every bit helps so i am pursueing it. Cory is looking into getting as much OT at his job as humanly possible and we are trying to get a small loan from a bank or credit card. we dont own a credit card and are very against getting into even more debt then we already are, but if that is waht we have to do to get to the intensive, then so be it. Cory and i ML last night on our date for the first time in weeks. it hurt a lot becasue he self gratifyied a few days ago and and has trained himself to be a minute man, so to speak. this makes me feel very devalued and crushed, but i do no he is turning this around. he stills messes up about 5 times a day, but he is at least quick to see it and turn it around when i point it out, so that is a big improvment from his bad attidue. We both do need to mature. Keep us in ur prays. Thanks again! She is right, I could tell that she was very hurt after we ML. It tortured me to see her so upset!!! It's not about me or the way it makes me feel, but it really bothered me that she was upset. I want ML to be a source of healing and joy and pleasure for my wife, not a source of pain! I hurt you a lot by making a really selfish choice to SG. I have been they type of husband who has taken and taken and refused to give. That all changes today. I will be the giver that I was created to be and I will not concern myself with what i will get in return. You are worth it. I love you very very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ephesiansman Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey.. we need to change the title of your topic! BTW, Thanks for changing the name of our thread Joel, I like the updated version much better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 You are welcome.. and the lovemaking gets better as your day to day love gets better! It is a quantity of small expressions of caring and love on a consistant basis that best stir up and maintains high levels of oxytocin in a woman's body. We call it "initiating postive words and actions of love" on a consistant basis. 20 hugs, smiles and kisses and everything else! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ephesiansman Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 That won't be hard at all! I mean she IS the most beautiful woman I've ever known. Darling, complimenting you isn't hard when there are so many perfect things about you, I am blessed to have you as my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Way to make your wife's heart sing, EphesiansMan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted August 24, 2011 Report Share Posted August 24, 2011 Here is a quote from another wife on the forum and our reply to her. Thought it was a classic so wanted to paste it over here for you! You know, this last few weeks have been so encouraging to me, almost as good as when we were first married (2 yrs ago) and we were talking to my son last night (on the phone) and my husband made some comment about how good our marriage is. I ammended it to say especially these last few weeks because my son knew how things have been which is really, really hard for me, and I was surprised by my husband's comment. You heard him last night on the call, he's really working on doing the right thing and being the husband God's called him to be, but he said on the phone with my son last night (who's 27 btw) that these last few weeks have been the hardest he's ever had and he's frankly been miserable. I was so surprised at what he said that I thought he was joking and I was laughing and he said it wasn't funny, that he's not having fun at all but he's glad it's been good for me. (I don't know how to take that) Your entire post is a milestone that you will look back on as a "marker" in your journey. If hubby keeps with it, you will keep moving forward from here and reaching more milestones of growth and happiness. Your husband saying the last few weeks have been miserable for him is perfect. A wife SHOULD be feeling happy FIRST and then a husband will start feeling happy later. PERFECT experience you are having! Happy Wife/Happy Life - but the journey of a man changing does make him miserable at first and then his happy wife makes him happy! Don't misunderstand a husband's initial misery. That is an inner thing that he is not actually supposed to TELL you about.. it is an internal thing as he does the self-therapy of killing his old man... and becoming the new creature in Christ Jesus that he was supposed to become when he got born again. A husband's misery should not be because his wife is MAKING his life miserable. On the contraire.. when a husband is doing good, a wife should be pouring out nice treatment on to him. However, he will still have inner pain of change because it is painful for him in the beginning to treat his wife great. It is so much the opposite of what he naturally wants to do which is to self focus and to be selifish/self centered. The focusing out on his wife and children is excruciatingly painful for a short time. It is almost violence that a man has to do inside himself to make the transition. That is why we teach wives to warmly respond to her husband's efforts. We guys need that encouragement!.. them little parades.. and well,, great sex! ha! and before anyone gets nervous, let me be QUICK to say that ANY sex with his wife is good sex for a healthy guy! So whether it be a quicky, or a hang from the chandeliers party or a two hour romantic escapade.. it is all good sex for a healthy guy! We ain't too picky! :rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenisy Posted August 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2011 (edited) Here is a quote from another wife on the forum and our reply to her. Thought it was a classic so wanted to paste it over here for you! Your entire post is a milestone that you will look back on as a "marker" in your journey. If hubby keeps with it, you will keep moving forward from here and reaching more milestones of growth and happiness. Your husband saying the last few weeks have been miserable for him is perfect. A wife SHOULD be feeling happy FIRST and then a husband will start feeling happy later. PERFECT experience you are having! Happy Wife/Happy Life - but the journey of a man changing does make him miserable at first and then his happy wife makes him happy! Don't misunderstand a husband's initial misery. That is an inner thing that he is not actually supposed to TELL you about.. it is an internal thing as he does the self-therapy of killing his old man... and becoming the new creature in Christ Jesus that he was supposed to become when he got born again. A husband's misery should not be because his wife is MAKING his life miserable. On the contraire.. when a husband is doing good, a wife should be pouring out nice treatment on to him. However, he will still have inner pain of change because it is painful for him in the beginning to treat his wife great. It is so much the opposite of what he naturally wants to do which is to self focus and to be selifish/self centered. The focusing out on his wife and children is excruciatingly painful for a short time. It is almost violence that a man has to do inside himself to make the transition. That is why we teach wives to warmly respond to her husband's efforts. We guys need that encouragement!.. them little parades.. and well,, great sex! ha! and before anyone gets nervous, let me be QUICK to say that ANY sex with his wife is good sex for a healthy guy! So whether it be a quicky, or a hang from the chandeliers party or a two hour romantic escapade.. it is all good sex for a healthy guy! We ain't too picky! :rotfl: amen and AMEN! Posted by Ephesiansman under Jenisy's name Edited August 24, 2011 by jenisy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 How is life in the Jenisy and Ephsians Man world? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefulwife Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Where did you guys go? I haven't seen you on the forum or heard you on the calls?I hope everything is going okay. HW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelandKathy Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Here is an excellent new topic by Dashiki Ed that will help you! http://joelandkathy.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/4999-just-do-it-following-the-instructions/page__pid__127609__st__0entry127609 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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