Terry's trials and tribulations

[Terry]

Heaven only can see exactly what the kids are going through. I know sometimes the new husband is a challenge for the kids........

I appreciate that chrysallis, but history has repeated . When we met, Emily was fazing her oldest daughters father from her life. I have come to realize that is something that is done on her side of the family. " Out with the old, & in with the new" I thought of this yesterday. I had raised her oldest daughter from 3 till 11, not one picture, letter. Now with our children.

I have not received school pictures, and have had to beg the school for report cards. I have come to realize Ex's Attorny has her own hurts for whatever reason. She has blatantly lied in court to further the agenda. I am left shaking my head. At the first appearance that set the current situation. The attorney stated the girls had shoes that they had painted with all kinds of derogatory comments about their mother on them. The judge bought this. I attempted to show the counsel I had the shoes. There is a heart a rainbow and a cross no words. My attorney would not even look at them. It does make me wonder what was said when I stepped out of the court room. The judge had initially stated 2 months of supervised visitation. I thought fine, even though their is no basis, I return win my counsel and then it is a year. Anyone that looks at the case just scratch their heads. I had met an individual with a masters In socialwork that volunteers at the food bank. He called to inquire about himself watching the children during the supervision times. Her attorney said no, I am supposed to pay the $940.oo a month to visit them through an agency. When I was told that, I asked the individual what the purpose of this would be. The comment the social worker said was after reviewing even earlier statements be even the GAL were very subjective, all designed to separate you from the children. Your Ex has moved on, and it appears she is tracking to get the children's interaction with you terminated. The poison my poor children are being told. All of this has been to push a SELF agenda. The kids through my reading them Bible stories where questioning. Now that is perceived as a threat. I do not tell our children anything about their mother. Growing weary, this is a spiritual battle.

[Chrysallis]

thank you terry for the Christmas wishes. I hope 2012 will be better for you too.

[Terry]

I have briefly discussed my situation with another attorney. I will meet with him after the first of the year. I had an individual with a masters in social work look over the counselors letters, he seems to feel I have been discriminated against and to contact the ACLU. I told him I will see what the attorney I have contacted says, after this if because of the precedence being set by E's attorney. Then I feel instead of continuing to fight getting nowhere. A sad situation, i know in my heart, that until God convicts Emily's heart, she will continue to feel no interaction is best, just as the case with her oldest daughters dad. I do not understand this mind set. Heading up to my parents house in the morning for a week, just want to get away and clear my head, from all this. I hope everyone has a Blessed Christmas and may 2012 draw you closer to Our Lord.

[MaryJane]

I have briefly discussed my situation with another attorney. I will meet with him after the first of the year.

Sounds like a good idea, to me.

 

May you be blessed with a time of spiritual and mental refreshing over Christmas, Terry.

 

God be praised! He is only Good!

[Terry]

I went to an attorney today, not good he looked over the divorce. He said my only real option is to terminate my parenting rights. The way it is layer out I can not afford to see them

For supervised visitation. It is 960 a month, if I do not comply then I get charged with contempt. If I had the money to start the visitation, then in a year I would need a 10,000 retainer just to go to trial and start the process. For the kids to get over might, her attorney used to Many questionible proceedures, but the precedence is now set. This is sad for my kids and myself. Only God knows what direction I am to take now.Obviously do not need to stay here. So I guess by spring will start looking to a different state.

Feeling numb as tears fall. Now I see how bad I hurt my bride, she insured that the last remaing thing between us was stripped away.

[MaryJane]

Feeling numb as tears fall. Now I see how bad I hurt my bride, she insured that the last remaing thing between us was stripped away.

This is awful and I'm sorry for you.

 

Yet, I don't know how it's possible, but God can STILL make "everything work together for good." Somehow, some way. (Romans 8:28)

 

For now, you can at least keep your children before the throne of grace, in your prayers. Best place for them. Nobody can legislate against that!

[Chrysallis]

I went to an attorney today, not good he looked over the divorce. He said my only real option is to terminate my parenting rights. The way it is layer out I can not afford to see them

For supervised visitation. It is 960 a month, if I do not comply then I get charged with contempt. If I had the money to start the visitation, then in a year I would need a 10,000 retainer just to go to trial and start the process. For the kids to get over might, her attorney used to Many questionible proceedures, but the precedence is now set. This is sad for my kids and myself. Only God knows what direction I am to take now.Obviously do not need to stay here. So I guess by spring will start looking to a different state.

Feeling numb as tears fall. Now I see how bad I hurt my bride, she insured that the last remaing thing between us was stripped away.

 

See another attorney. Anyone recommending Termination of Parental Rights doesn't get it. Also, the money part for visitation............surely there is a way around it for inability to pay. Go see less of a silk stocking attorney

[Terry]

See another attorney. Anyone recommending Termination of Parental Rights doesn't get it. Also, the money part for visitation............surely there is a way around it for inability to pay. Go see less of a silk stocking attorney

 

An individual that also volunteers at Share-net (foodbank/thrift store) to supervise visitation. The counselor called her attorney and declined stating she wants me to pay through the agency. I am starting to feel het attorney had her own issues and is using male respondents as her dart board. I do feel letting the Bar know about this. I am sure there has to be an ethics committee. Why would one push to such extremes to keep a father away from his children.Especially when i have come so far.due to this ministry.

[MaryJane]

What about what Chrysallis said? Fire your attorney and get another one?

[Terry]

What about what Chrysallis said? Fire your attorney and get another one?

 

Thank you Chrysallis, and Mary Jane for the suggestion.

The last Attorney cost 13,000 and I am even farther from my children. Why the attorney, I had recently seen, suggested termination was her attorney had gotten away with so much , that a precedence is set, and appears to be more punitive without actual cause. I had been praying about an answer. I discussed this with both the senior pastors, an youth pastor. After reviewing all the notes and emails I have kept, there is blatant misconduct by her attorney. Now I am praying to keep to the point, and submit this to the Bar Assn. In the mean time I will save money again, but find counsel outside of this county. To make matters of the heart more confusing. I had a dream two nights ago with (E) in it. She was still married, but we were talking. This is when it got weird. It was as if I had been over looking her in her bedroo

And she was crying on the pillow with her left hand hidden underneath. When I looked into her Gand she was clutching the wedding set I bought. At this point I woke up all disoriented. I will have see what my counselor says about that. I does show me that even everything that has happened, I continue to forgive her, knowing I am the one that brought dynamite and blasting caps into the relationship. All in the name of control/ABUSE. Does anyone else still feel something for their Ex? Maybe just emotionally sick and I'n denial.

[Chrysallis]

The dream is saying E has made a mess of her life; the adultery marriage is never as good as the adultery because they are trying to transition into a real relationship from an illicit one and it won't work. There is hope.

[Terry]

The dream is saying E has made a mess of her life; the adultery marriage is never as good as the adultery because they are trying to transition into a real relationship from an illicit one and it won't work. There is hope.

 

Chrysallis,& Mj thank you I used your advice and sought two different Attorney's .

Both mentioned that what Emily's counsel had done, using ADHD and PTSD as grounds to

Limit my interaction with our children was, and is discrimination. Because I did not have counsel

At the time of divorce, the 45 day statutes has long passed for an appeal. Now the precedence is set.

Also upon further investigation. WA is only a handful of states that do not let the children have a voice.

The courts try to consider the Childs best interest, but their voice carries no weight. I mentioned what the first

Attorney had mentioned, about terminating my parental rights. Both agreed that PAS (Parental Alienation Seperation)

has occured,and my only real choice is to write the Bar Assn. & see if it is not to late to place

Sanctions on her attorney, other wise they agreed with the 1st. It would take about 50,000

To get individual item's addressed in trial, even then there is no guarantee. The one did mention

That they will look me up when older, and to set up a trust fund for them with the money you would not be

Paying for support . In the mean time filling out the grievance on (E's) attorney, and having a couple individuals

Review my wording. I find it very hard to be unobjective in my report. My emotions, and personal opinion of what

has happened keeps clouding the facts. In the mean time, I am waiting upon the LORD. It has been 4 years today

that Emily informed me she was moving out, and the Ex MiL informed me " I had my chance" . What came to my

heart, even if this relationship is burnt in the fire, is God still going to be

your LORD?

[Terry]

Second Timothy 4:1-5 is what comes to mind with this whole proceedure .

[MaryJane]

I'm glad you're waiting upon the Lord.

 

In the mean time filling out the grievance on (E's) attorney, and having a couple individuals

Review my wording. I find it very hard to be unobjective in my report. My emotions, and personal opinion of what

has happened keeps clouding the facts. In the mean time, I am waiting upon the LORD. It has been 4 years today

that Emily informed me she was moving out, and the Ex MiL informed me " I had my chance". What came to my

heart, even if this relationship is burnt in the fire, is God still going to be

your LORD?

Terry, you've got to forgive your mother-in-law. In your heart.

 

You don't have to talk to her. You just have to forgive her. You've got to get rid of those thoughts of "what she did and what she said". They keep eating away at your peace of mind -- and "clouding the facts".

 

Ask God to make this forgiveness real in your heart.

 

God loves her.

[Terry]

I'm glad you're waiting upon the Lord.

 

 

Terry, you've got to forgive your mother-in-law. In your heart.

 

You don't have to talk to her. You just have to forgive her. You've got to get rid of those thoughts of "what she did and what she said". They keep eating away at your peace of mind -- and "clouding the facts".

 

Ask God to make this forgiveness real in your heart.

 

God loves her.

Thank Mary Jane for your sound advice. Your words were confirmed this morning. I was asked to step away from the youth ministry for a season. I have become Ineffective ad a teacher with the youth, as this has been to close to me and they also stated " clouded my vision". Not sure what's next. I have been looking into taking some bible studies on line. This would be a healthy outlet.

Terry

[MaryJane]

Thank Mary Jane for your sound advice. Your words were confirmed this morning. I was asked to step away from the youth ministry for a season. I have become Ineffective ad a teacher with the youth, as this has been to close to me and they also stated " clouded my vision". Not sure what's next. I have been looking into taking some bible studies on line. This would be a healthy outlet.

Terry

Maybe something on the Love of God. A LOT of people need a study on that one!

 

I suggest turning on some good worship music and just waiting in the presence of God -- often -- praising and worshipping the Lord until you sense a real difference in your innermost being. There's nothing like feeling as though you are standing before His throne, communing with Him -- confidently!

 

Have you been baptised in the Holy Spirit yet, Terry, with speaking in tongues? That would be a big help for you.

 

Don't give up!

[Terry]

Happy Mother's day to all you mom's. Still no children, it breaks my heart. I have caused this, yet feel like I am I'n some sort of holding pattern. It has been over a year since I have seen our children. One of the neighborhood kids is in our oldest class. He mentioned that Dakota has to walk out with the teacher, because she has told her I would steal her! I have given her nothing to even indicate this. Persevering with prayer.

[MaryJane]

Persevering with prayer.

I'm sorry for you Terry, but am glad you are persevering in prayer! God knows. God is Love. He is working. He is.

 

And you are growing in Him, right? That's actually the main thing right now.

 

Keep going!

[Terry]

My paper work will be ready this week, then it is weather a judge will hear this. One thing I have question on. As I was leaving my neighborhood, I noticed Emily crossing I'n front of me. I smiled and waved hello. Her reaction was to roll her window up and scowl at me. I turned going the opposite direction. I am not sure why she is still so angry. We have not seen each other since court in November, and she has received everything she wanted. I guess I would think she would be happy.

[Terry]

The more I dig into this paper work, the heavier my heart gets. I relized last night, I had been procrastinating on filing because of the pain it will cause. I had prayed and came to the conclusion that the short pain felt, will pail compared to my doing nothing for our children. They are probably feeling abandon by now. All this has caused me to question my heart. I am angry that our children have been placed in the

Middle, then God convicts me. Emily is still reacting out of pain. Most of the people I know take a more worldly approach and say she is just a B€#€h. I inform them, this shows what a horrible husband I was, to her, that she is still reacting even 2 years after the divorce. I start to reflect on how much Emily was forced to endure. I find a new appreciation and Love for Emily. I will be content when our children are back & this is all that ever becomes of it. In my heart, I do not feel another marriage in my life. I might be divorced, yet feel I am married for life. That is my dilemma,

I pushed my bride to Adultery, and the divorce. The Bible states I a free to remarry. Yet I feel I caused Emily to feel unsafe, so who am I to bring all this on my family and bring another into the equation, I know the outcome, due to the Holy Spirit, and this ministry will be different. Any advice? I can see just be rereading this the turmoil going one.

[Terry]

While walking to the Store, I ran into one of Emily's Co workers, They informed me that Emily is now pregnant, and did marry, All I told the co worker is that I was the one to blame for all of this. If I had listened to her heart, this would not be happening. Feeling more pain again. I would sure like to know God's plans. If this is something I get to endure for my remaining days then, in light of what Christ had to endure this pails. It still sucks, I feel as if I want to crawl up I'n a ball.

[KathyandJoel]

Hi there Terry in Kingston,

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Yes, she is still responding to the pebble that was thrown into the pond, years before that has caused her so much pain.

 

I can tell you this, the ripple effect (pain) that you feel, will cease at some point. I can't tell you, that you will not feel moments of sadness when the situation crosses your mind, you will, but then there is GOD!

 

God can take the messes in our life and turn them around for good. He is amazing like that.

 

What does that look like? I don't know for sure, but I am quite sure, that God would love for you to be married again, but on a new and better foundation. With truth as the center of the Relationship and the foundation that you stand on.

 

God loves you, sees your situation and has a plan for your life.

 

He did not wake up this morning and say to the angels.....omgosh, Terry has a problem. As a matter of fact, he has had this problem for a long time, and "I" the great "I AM" didn't know anything about it. I didn't get a phone call, a text, an IM, an ALARM, etc to alert me to his situation. He is well aware and has been working on your situation.

 

The Word of God says that He is our Friend. A friend does good behind your back. He is always working, but sometimes, the pain of a wife turning around, is just to painful and her eyesight is just not clear anymore.

 

As a Godly girrl, she needed to get out of the affair and certainly not marry the guy, but she did. It is what it is.

 

You just make sure YOU, continue the work on YOU. Be the Man that God has called YOU to be!

 

The Word of God says that we look through a glass darkly. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but we do know, he has our lives in his hands and he has GOOD for you. He has a PLAN and a FUTURE that is AWESOME for you.

 

Stay in the Word of God, allow him to continue the work that he has begun in you.

 

My heart goes out to the children too and Emily. She has herself in a very negative situation and it is only a matter of time till it begins to fall apart.

 

Stay steady, and take it one day at a time.

 

One day at a time Lord Jesus, that's WHAT I'm asking from you.....help me to be, all I can be, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

 

Kathy and Joel

[Terry]

Thank Joel well

Be back on the mens calls in Aug or Sept. Trying to focus on paper work for now to petition to see my children. After that, if it is not meant to be, then the Bible scholar ship if any still left. I still feel the calling. Will keep you posted.

Blessings

[Terry]

Just to get everyone caught up,I still have not seen my children. The office of Child Support Enforcement is now helping me as they too have seen the injustice. This is a Blessing in itself that with a Government facility I am finally getting a voice. The area of distress I currently have. When talking with my Mom she had mentioned that now Emily is pregnant and married. I caused this, and can accept that. Not that it is easy, but I am the one that did not allow her to feel safe. The part that has caused the tossing of my emotions though, is when my mom had mentioned that they are going to church now. The carnal side of me wants to find the church to address the adultery, and more importantly basically spitting at GOD. Her actions display to our children, one does not need to submit to Absolute authority, and to do what ever feels good. This is where the wisdom of elders is requested. Do I continue to Trust that God will work on her heart, or is this something to be approached from a different position as I finish the paper work to petition to get our children back into our lives.

 

I have Prayed about it. I have the "Big boy Panties on". Above anything else I want God to be Glorified. I have Prayed and Prayed for the reconciliation and that is not to be. I have some peace that if I am not to get our children back, as it has been since 31 March 2011 since they have seen or talked with me. If for whatever reason that is part of his plan, because of my being back in there life might be to disruptive and, sadly they have been poisoned already. I have found out, EX is receiving almost $1000.00 more then what she is supposed to a month, resulting in almost $30,000 in over payment, plus an additional $8,000 garnishment from money received yet (EX) did not report to support enforcement. I have all the receipts and this has resulted in an additional $196.00 a month garnishment for the next 3 years. This is why Child support is helping me. If I went through there office, and channels it could be another 9 months minimal.Our children would not be going with out. I still feel the calling to attend Bible school. Some of this could help pay for classes, and a move to a more cost effect state. Even if this money is awarded, Washington State is right behind New York for taxes. Being a Disabled Veteran the income is limited even when I get the support corrected.

Awaiting your response. Thank you in advance.