Mini and Tuffy's journey!

[Mini]

I have to say thank you to everybody that has helped me. My wife is the type of woman I read about in Proverbs 31:10-31. Wow has God blessed me with a very Virtuous wife. I now value her input higher than Gold. I no longer just blow her off as a crazy woman. When she brings something up, it is taken as "What is God telling me threw her", or "if this is important to her I want to hear this". When a man listens to his wife, it is interesting just how beautiful she really is. I really hate the computer, I would prefer to do things with my hands. I have met endless internet Rambos that can't get their hindends off of the puter and do something(my six year old daughter could kick their arses). Their mommy's may get upset if they go play outside. The puter is good but it isn't a life people (words from my wife). Get up and DO SOMETHING! My wife announced she Doesn't use Skype anymore and is leaving the people on skype behind, and dumped the endless email addresses "Thank YOU GOD". She said the puter in now only to research, and watch movies, and if she needs to talk to someone she will open a facebook account just to talk to her family that is on there(Babe we have 5 kids). She now has no other need for the puter. I can foresee a wife I have ALWAYS dreamed of Thank you God! She is talking about working the gardens, and building a new house. I believe in a family that works together grows together. The puter is TOO Isolated. Guys I have a 6 year old daughter I sure as hell wouldn't want her to shoot at me. She is blessed like her Grandfather, and father with a rifle. She was raised shooting mice in the barn with a BB gun. Yes she has been shooting since she was 2. How many people brag about their kids spending thousands of hours on the puter playing games? I have to tell you this story. I had a 22 year old woman asking Tuffy and I just before she left about her husband that was 21 years old. She went to Victors and bought a teddy, she got dressed up and walked in front of his puter game. This is what he told her, "Move I can't see my game". Our hearts went out to her. That was a quote Christian couple. TOO many people are trying to live a life though a puter. I've seen it in myself the puter can become an emotional needy vampire. I always have more joy using those hands God gave me. The joy of finishing something is great for both the Husband and the Wife!

 

This is what I see in my wife now. I see a woman and I mean all woman. She values her children and husband more than she ever has before. I am hearing a woman that is planing for a future with me. I hear a woman that is going to make our marriage go the full distance as God designed it. Wow this is really drawing on my emotions now. As she told me a few day ago, "I just can't see me being with anybody else". Well honey I feel the same way! I see a woman that got away from the life that I gave her, and I always thought it wasn't good enough. What I have learned she loves the life I gave her. She loves the man that I am, she just couldn't handle the yelling and emotional abuse. Now the abuse is disappearing she is really falling in love with me this time. I'm finding the drive a man has, wanting to do things for his wife is coming back. I'm now hearing my wife openly dreaming about what she wants for us. As a man I hear "I want you to build this for me". It drives me it gives me purpose in life. I can listen to her words and build plans and details in my mind. I have a mind that NEVER STOPS it goes at 900 mph and I think about 10 things or more at a time. Kathy is correct about negative things. I have to guard myself from negative people. I have been told "I am the type of person that only needs to be in a room for 5 minutes and it is like your were there the whole time". It finally makes sense what that means. I take on the mood of the room, then can come up with a plan to lead others. I have opened up to some men in the US Navy about the way I think and they said "Being in your head has to be like a living hell is there a neutral"? I've just learned what brings me peace is "MY WIFE". It was there all the time. All I had to do was "LISTEN TO MY HELPMEET". I really do need my wife, without her I am like a car with only three tires.

 

My MIL told me last night "Mini whatever you are doing is working, my daughter is falling head over heels in love with you". Thanks Mom for the support. I believe God is moving people into different Ministries I have people coming to me about messed up marriages. What I find interesting is they all think they are unique, but most are just text book problems. I will tell you if we as a people don't get our marriages fixed in the next few generations this country will fall hard and fast. I direct many to this Ministry, but many will find endless reasons not to make it here. So I give them what I can.

 

Well that is enough puter time. I'm going to do what God made me to do now. I'm going to be a man and Sweat alot. I'm going to go do man things. I will be working with my wife's mind in my heart! I'm seriously pumped today, I'm finding out who are my real friends and who is NOT. I would have learned that earlier if I had just listened to my wife! I Love you Tuffy!

[Mini]

Posted Today, 12:35 PM

I should probably add more about my MIL and what she has told me in the last two weeks. First it maybe of help to give a history of my MIL and myself. When I met my wife, my Tuffy and I went to see her mother within days of meeting each other. I thought she would be impressed with me, however, that is not what happened. I still remember what she said to me like it was yesterday. She said "I don't see you and my daughter having anything in common, and I don't believe you will make a good couple. I was horrified by Tuffy's mother. What her mom said isn't what she was seeing(she seen the abusive Mini). Tuffy and I got an apartment together and the life together was very fast with us. No dating just jumped into marriage and a child like a light switch was flipped. We lived as common law Husband and Wife and had legal papers showing such. By Colorado Law we were husband and wife. I did NOT know of Jesus Christ and was embarrassed by the thought of him. Well my wife prayed and prayed for me. I got my salvation because of my wife's endless prayers for me. I met up with some Old friends and I knew they were Christians and at first I used them as an example of "What a Christian really is". Does that tell you the power of living a Godly life, as a non believer I knew something was different about them. The Lady Carol is about 25 years older than myself. I told her about Tuffy and I. She told me I had to "Get married in a Church or God was not apart of the marriage". So I told Tuffy we are going to get married. My wife after living together and having a child didn't want to get married. So I just had to push her harder and she then agreed. We got married in a Church of God Church. I even bulled my way threw the Pastor. He wanted us to get "Marriage Counciling". I told him "No We Will NOT", "You can Marry us or we can go somewhere else". I felt he would see the law of finance with a whole whopping hundred dollar bill. He even told me he had bills to pay. I told him besides we are Common Law married and have a child. I have to take a break "Was that Guy a Freaking Control Freak or what"? So bull headed he pushed his wife into marrying him. I'm very sorry Tuffy. I realize you can't force someone to love you. Back to the history. He married us, and then the real problems started to come. In my mind I now had a "LICENSE" to Control and push her around. I knew something wasn't right, I knew I needed help for me or Tuffy who ever was the problem. I really didn't know who was at fault, but I believed it was her. I went on my own from church to church looking for help. I kept hearing "The problem is your wife". So I believed out of all these witnesses the problem wasn't mine it was all her problem. That just gave a Control Freak super powers and I closed my ears to her. I mean after all she is just a crazy woman, that was NOT living a Godly life". When we got Married my MIL was crying like it was a funeral. I still couldn't understand why! I wrote it off as "She is just being protective of her baby girl". My wife was even crying. That maybe a wound that needs healing. My MIL was very afraid of me, and we fought tooth and nail for 16 years. My MIL and I are both alphas and the wars got very ugly. My MIL has hit me, and thrown things at me. Thank God my wife isn't like that. If she was it may have been enough for me to be physically abusive to the highest levels. One time early in the marriage my wife blocked me in the door way. My MIL called the cops. They were going to nail me to the cross, but I threatened the cop, and he seen things my way. My MIL, my wife and the Cop witnessed me total a S-10 Blazer with my hands a few months earlier. The drunk ran into me with the blazer that gave me a "LICENSE" it was the "GO YOUR HOT". My MIL really taught me how to be even more abusive emotionally. She tried to break me and I just pushed harder, and mastered emotional abuse.

 

Well that was before Joel and Kathy's ministry, and a big thank you to Josh and Kimberly(I really do hear Kimberly) Ken Nairs books, and Paul Hegstroms books and videos, hundred if not thousands of hours of internet research and lots of prayer. My MIL has said these things just in the last month. She said "Mini remember when Tuffy and you got married in that church" I said "Yes" she said "Do you know why I was crying" I said "No, that has always bothered me". She said "I knew what you would do to my daughter". I said "Why didn't you stop her or stop me". She said "She is my daughter and I love her with all of my heart, but I can't live her life or change her mind". "My daughter really does love you". She then said "Anytime I tried to get between you and her, she would rip my head off, she is far more loyal to you than to me". She then said "As for you couldn't hear anything I said to you". Then there is a long pause, and she says, "Mini if on the first day I met you, you were the way you are today, I would have been very happy for my daughter". She said "You have changed so much your not even the same person".

 

She said at a different time "Mini you are the type of man now that I spent my whole life looking for, I am proud of you. She said this just four days ago "I was talking to my daughter about you, she is starting to open up a little". "She sees that you have gone above and beyond what any person could do to fix your marriage". She(wife)was asking me if she was to go home would I(MIL)be ok and how would I get along. My MIL told me she said "That she would be fine, and your kids need to go home and tear up their own home. Remember this is five kids that witnessed Daddy engaging in property abuse.

 

My MIL has told me the woman I have here is not my daughter that left here years ago, she is a different person. However the woman I am seeing lately is the happiest I have ever seen my daughter. She then said "You just keep doing what you are doing, she will be coming home very soon".

 

I wrote this to honor my MIL, Kay is her name. She has severe cancer and was given only 6 months to live 16 years ago. I really did HATE my MIL. I referred to her as a "WITCH" and told everybody "She drives a broom" man did she get under my skin. However today I understand where she was coming from and I am sorry to hurt her and her daughter. I today do have a friendship with my MIL, and I have a Virtuous wife and a Virtuous MIL. It may look like she was a bad woman having 4 children by four different men. It wasn't her that was the problem it was the men she had in her life were dogs. That is why she seen right threw me and my problems. The father of my wife dragged my MIL into court trying to force her to abort my wife. She fought the world to save my wife, I should honor her just on that principal. I pray God has mercy on her soul. Please pray for her severe pain to be reduced!

 

I have to add this today. I pushed my wife the wrong way last night. I felt I was just asking questions. I was in BIG trouble she was hanging up on me, I was pycho dialing trying to get her on the phone. I didn't want her to be hurting and then I started pushing what I "Felt" she needed. People I was sinking fast and hard. I didn't know what to do. Then had numerous I'm sorry and confused at what I did. I was eating humble pie by the truck load(guys you may feel you will appear weak to your wife eating humble pie, but she will see it as STRENGTH)and knew I'm in this for the long haul "I'm not quitting". I'm still trying to figure out what happened. However I did pull us out of the tail spin. By the end of the evening she had a brand new Opal and Sapphire ring and telling me I'm spoiling her. I had to end the phone call at 0200 and before she was hanging up. Guys NEVER NEVER QUIT! I hope she likes getting spoiled I have years to make up!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TUFFY!!!!!!!!!!

 

If I was to suggest something to the men, NEVER GIVE UP ON HER! You told God and her you wouldn't when you gave your vows to her and God.

[Pure in Heart]

 

And believing God for this:

 

Great testimony Mini!!

[Mini]

It has been awhile since I posted to my wife and I'm still very happily married to her. A few months ago I forgot our marriage date. but that is ok she also forgot. I had to tell her the next day we forgot to say happy aniversary. We both laughed and I tried so hard not to forget, including writing it on my calender. Life is too short not to have fun with your spouse. Sure there are times when I get so mad at her like when she felt like she needed to take the family van surfing down a guard rail at 60 mph, and drive it home. Sometimes I'm mad at her and I have no reason to be mad at anybody, just over worked, tired and hungry. No matter how I may respond to the stituation at hand, I always first think how are my actions going to effect my wife. Put her first and you will always win! Putting your wifes emotions first will change a man for the good. It will show in your actions to her. Now I get to be her hero, or miracle worker by rebuilding her van.

 

Tuffy thank you for all the hard work you are doing on the farm, I see more than I say, and from what I have seen you are working your backside off. You are making me very happy, you are doing a really good job of being a mom to the little ones. Teaching Jessica (8 years old daughter) how to carry 50 pound bags of feed from the grain shed to the barn is way cool. You are helping more than you know!

 

Always loving you Mini

Have a good day babe!

[JoelandKathy]

Congratulations! This is wonderful news!